Can my kid ride your pony??!!

[Jenny2303]

Hello everyone!

I wondered is it normal to be bombarded with people asking if their kid can ride their child’s new pony??

My sister has just gpt my niece her first pony, as she has her own horses. Now she is bombarded by her friends who’s daughters take lessons. None of them are horsey people. One of them who’s daughter is probably twice the size of the pony asked if she would consider a share, despite neither of them being near a horse for more than the half hour riding lesson they have each week.

My sister is driven demented and is too nice to say, f^ck off like I would, hahaha.

 

[Archangel]

Sister needs a list of the most expensive ponies she can find, plus expensive tack, plus wardrobe, plus vetting. Anyone who asks gets the list. "there you go, you need a pony of your own, this was our shortlist, go knock yourself out"

 

[Clodagh]

Assuming sister is a nice, polite lady, she needs to say 'Thank you but we feel it is vital for this first year/decade/lifetime that only Susan (change as applicable) rides Banjo (ditto) so they can form a proper relationship.
She could always offer to ride their husbands, if it is share and share about?

 

[Flicker]

Clodagh PMSL!!!
Seriously Jenny, your sis can just say ‘no’. She does not need to justify or explain her decision.

 

[Keith_Beef]

It's that time of year when your sister must be thinking that she needs a new waterproof jacket for when she's taking her daughter up to the yard.

She could get one with a nice little message printed on it.

"Before you ask, NO, your offspring cannot ride on my daughter's pony".

 

[Hollychops]

Just say 'No'. Your sister doesnt have to justify herself, its her pony. End of story.

 

[Jenny2303]

LOL at the husbands and jacket 😂😂

I think th only her daughter riding her for the first year or so is a good excuse for her!! Yeah she is not the kind of person who likes confrontation she almost didn’t get the pony knowing what it would be like when she did!

She feels bad as the parents are her friends but she has tried to say to them nicely loads of times, and doesn’t know how else to put it.

 

[cundlegreen]

Just get her to ask them why should she?

 

[catkin]

Assuming sister is a nice, polite lady, she needs to say 'Thank you but we feel it is vital for this first year/decade/lifetime that only Susan (change as applicable) rides Banjo (ditto) so they can form a proper relationship.

This
and you can lay it on pretty thick about being unkind and confusing to the pony to have lots of riders.
Could also add a polite but firm "but of course being horse-people you know that don't you" or similar.
(If there's a counter about riding-school ponies then a reminder that those ponies are highly-trained to do their very special job which this pony is not)

 

[OldNag]

Could she just say he is too dangerous/not suitable for novices?

 

[cornbrodolly]

'My pony is not insured for other riders' - this rarely gives offence , and is usually true anyway.

 

[honetpot]

One summer someone asked if their daughter could ride a pony I had loaned to a friend for her daughter.
Once you explain insurance and that you expect their child to be supervised by them at all times I am sure that they will go off the idea.
I usually just say no, the pony is not suitable, with no explanation.

 

[tallyho!]

I don't mind people riding our pony if they are a suitable size. If too big I'll say so. What's the difficulty?

I understand the whole insurance thing too and it is tricky. If I know them and agree the consequences I'm ok with it. I've not hd anyone ask for a share but if it did happen, they'd have to have BHS Gold.

 

[Jenny2303]

She wouldn’t really have a problem if the parents could supervise, it would be a help for her, or even giving a pony ride if they were there it’s the fact they want her to take their kids and basically give them riding and stable management lessons, neither the parents or kids know anything about horses the kids are just coming off lead reins, she doesn’t have enough time on her hands and the RS do own a pony days etc for them/kids to get experience.

Her horse is a nutcase and one of them asked if they could come up and learn about handling her.. sure if you fancy being kicked to death!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

At least it is just people that she knows asking at the moment. I do understand how hard it can be to say 'no' sometimes but for some reason people can get a bit cheeky and forwards when it comes to a potential free horse ride so your sister does need to learn to say 'no'. Once she also has random people that she doesn't know asking she should be well practiced at turning people down. People don't seem to behave this way with Ferrari owners, for example.

I personally find that giving a reason can result in people trying to come up with a way round it, so a hard 'no' is better. Of course you can be polite when it is said.

ETA - Having read post 14, your sister needs to remind herself that she is not offering a free babysitting service and hopefully that will help her stick to her guns in saying no.

Of course if her daughter (with permission) wants to invite a friend round and ride the pony as part of that it is totally different as they have been invited.

 

[BenvardenRach2]

I get this all the time with non horsey family members offering up rides to their friends, cousins, daughter - in law.
Drives me nuts!!!

Rocky is good as gold and he did teach my 10 yr old sister to ride but that was with me on the end of a lunge line instructing her and she is a tiny quiet sensible jockey.
Yes he is quiet but I and i'm pretty damn sure he really would not appreciate some random kid booting him in the ribs and sawing his mouth off!


My uncles old girlfriend actually thought(for some bizarre reason?!) that I gave lessons to random people on my own horse.. and gave her absolute novice novice niece(that I have never met) a 'birthday present' telling her she could come and ride Rocky and i would give her a lesson as well as letting her take him 'trecking' on the mountain on her own?!?!

The best part is she was quite horrid when I told her ermm I dont do that, never would and sorry your niece cannot ride him.

Honestly!!!
People really do see them as a 'donkey on the beach' type animal and cannot see a problem with sending their kid who's never touched a horse before, trotting off round the school on your competition horse

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I once had a neighbour (who I had only met in passing) rock up in his pyjamas - no slippers - with his new girlfriend who may have been wearing slippers, expecting to be able to take the horses out for a hack because the person who had horses here previously had let him ride once... I told them where the local riding school was.

 

[dorsetladette]

I've had a friend come to 'see' my ponies (a larger lady shall we say) I explained that they are mostly field ornaments, one ridden very rarely by me (not a novice ride) and one isn't broken as yet. She looked at the younger (smaller one) and said - I reckon he could take my weight, lets go for a ride - erm NO!

None horsey people do think it's your duty to share your hobby free of charge. I must confess I do have a couple of friends that suffer with anxiety who I take to the horses on occasion but they just sit in a chair on my yard and appreciate the calm. They interact with the ponies if the wish but mostly just enjoy sitting watching them and the wildlife.

Most people soon loose interest once you explain they need rider insurance for said child and won't be able to leave child unsupervised - plus I always say when asked that poo picking/mucking out will be required in return for time with my ponies - a lot don't even bother, those that do don't come back LOL

 

[Meredith]

Someone asked me “Can anyone ride your pony?”
I said “Only with my permission”
They replied “But what about when you’re not riding him? I could ride him then.”
Apparently they thought they would be able to use my horse in a similar way to those communal bicycles that were a great new idea in some cities at the time.
There followed a conversation, which was made more difficult by their conviction that every thing could be shared, about why it was NOT a good idea.

 

[Jenny2303]

Oh my at some of these stories.. people have some amount of front don’t they I’m laughing my head off!!

She’s not a cow or anything and has no problem with pony mad friends coming over, it’s the expectation that because she has a pony now everyone can have a go and she will spend her afternoons leading peoples kids round the school. It’s also that they are so green(the kids) it would be an accident waiting to happen anyway. My niece came off my sisters horse in spectacular fashion so that seemed to put people off asking for a go of that one. If the kids could hop on and do their own thing safely, no problem!!

That’s the thing I can’t really get my head round, you wouldn’t appear at your neighbors asking to take their newborn baby out for a walk or to drive their new car lol

 

[BenvardenRach2]

It is hard to get your head around, I don't understand the cheek of some people
Honestly I think just being a little upfront with them is the only way to go about it.

It's harder with little kids ponies because non horsey people just see a cute pony for their kid to bash about on..
Not that said pony is someones much loved pet...expensive pet that is!

Anyway, I hope your Niece enjoys her own pony - lucky girl!!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I'm sure that at some point she will say 'no' to a random child riding the pony only to be told that she is taking away a child's dream or some variation of that.

As Meredith says it is about permission. There is a huge difference between being offered a pony ride by the owner and expecting/feeling entitlement to have one just because you happen to know or have met someone with a pony.

 

[Bernster]

"Can I drive your car then?"

 

[Clodagh]

I personally find that giving a reason can result in people trying to come up with a way round it, so a hard 'no' is better. Of course you can be polite when it is said.
.

And if you give a reason, only give one as more than one is an excuse.

 

[clairekat]

i generally say" of course you can" then proceed to tell them stories of when i fell off, injuries i have had and how my horse leapt in front of a car one day, usually puts them off. if that fails, i stick them on and gave her a small amount of encouragement until they yell how to get it to stop

 

[canteron]

I always say that for every hour riding there is at least 5 hours work - so if they want to muck out, mend fences and pay vets bill I will have a think 🤔

 

[conniegirl]

I was at a local agricultural show a good few years ago. I was leading 850kg of 16hh fire breathing welsh dragon who had just spotted the carriages in the main ring and who had decided that his hooves whistling round my head was an appropriate reaction. I was hanging on for grim death thinking "omg I've got to ride you later, I'm going to die" when a voice piped up from behind me "do you do pony rides? it's for my daughter?"

I was gobsmacked! honestly this horse was putting the fear of god into me, an experienced rider who knew every one of his tricks, and yet some random non horsey adult has come under all the barriers put in place to keep the public away from the horses and is asking to put a complete novice child on him at a show!

My mothers was standing near by and her response was along the lines of "only if you want her 6ft under in a pine box," I was a tad preoccupied with hanging on to the beast to respond.

The woman went off in a huff.

The gorgeous beast went on to win both the inhand Welsh D class (in a welsh agricultural show), the ridden Welsh C&D class and the ridden championship that day, but it was a little hair raising to say the least.

Pictures of the lovely Dragon to give you an idea! this was him on a nice settled day, not the day above:

 

[Fransurrey]

I used to be bombarded with requests from non-horsey friends to ride my Exmoor, who at the time was a bit of a project. One wanted to bring her kid up every week! She got a little uppity when I said I don't have time and suggested that she just turn up and plonk him on whilst I was elsewhere. I asked her how much she liked her kid...I only got through I think when I accidentally on purpose started dropping in anecdotes of me being bombed off with, bucked off, near misses with dogs, cars and so on (OK, I *may* have embellished details somewhat).

 

[cava14una]

Conniegirl he's gorgeous

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

Try having a shetland ... you always get muppets at agricultural shows ask if their kid can sit on the pony! I have always declined for obvious reasons - most latterly the fact that I was holding onto an unbroken colt! But hey! He looked pretty and quiet!

Quite often up here shetlands and highlands get pens at shows so you can leave them securely enclosed and the public can stick their nose in. A friend came back to her pen to find a random woman putting her kids on one of the ponies backs and taking pictures! Before you ask the pens arent left unattended, folk are around them all the time and people keep an eye on other peoples ponies for them so everyone can get the chance to wander round the show. The person in question was a newbie to the shetland showing scene and other people assumed that the woman and kids knew the owner!