cant stop crying............

M

moodymares

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24 February 2010
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this post is pointless but currently home alone and feeling very low.
i went to the yard this morning had a lovely ride in the sj field the heavy jumped well and i was feeling pleased.
i came home and decided to sort through the massive bag of stuff i have to sell.
i opened it up and it was FULL of stuff belonging to my old pony who i had pts due to horrific attacks of lami. i had him pts 18months ago but today it is soo raw and i cant stop crying i loved him soo much and he really did save me from being completely off the rails.
all of this is not helped by the fact that two years ago as my parents where about to leave for holiday he had his first (first with me he had had it as a baby) bout of lami. now its not 2years to the day but roughly the same time of year but my parents go away this weekend and i cant stop thinking about my little man and how much i love him still even though he isnt here anymore.
I would give the world for a cuddle with him again.
sorry all for this very pointless post i just need to share...
some piccies of the little man:

when he first came home from the rescue center
7836977a3967749108b163055401l.jpg


After 6 months:
13832_326369200367_656700367_961782.jpg


on a fun ride
13832_319716320367_656700367_948706.jpg


thanks for looking.... going to have a shower then pick my friends little girl up from school and take her pony riding.
 
he's beautiful. I know exactly how you feel. I don't think it ever goes away, and it is stirred up by things like that, or reading something and thinking "I did that with my pony" or "we went there"... but if you can change it from thinking I miss him to we had so much fun it helps!
((((hugs))))
 
Awww. Big hugs to you. Hope you have a good day, and feel better leting it out! Perhaps sell the stuff- so it doesn't upset you again?xx
 
Oh dear :( Poor you hun. I lost my fella in February and I am ashamed to admit I probably cry every other day. It's so hard when you lose a friend, and although it gets easier, it doesn't go away. He was a gorgeous boy. HUGS xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Aw, have a virtual hug. I don't think it ever goes away and like you are having now, there are moments when it hits again and is still quite raw. There is no such thing as a fixed time for grieving, so allow yourself to have a sad day and shed some tears. It's perfectly natural. He's lovely.
 
So sorry to hear you are feeling so low :(

I lost my pony to laminitis 4 years ago this summer. I promise it does get easier. I deliberatly don't take a note of "bad anniversaries" because I don't want to fixate on a certain day, if that makes sense?

I can honestly say that I remember the good times more now, almost always with a smile when I say her name (which is a lot!)

I actually lost both ponies three weeks apart with unrelated things which was a big wrench, but now I throw myself heart and soul into my current horse who I love fiercely!

I donated a lot of their stuff to The Horse Trust who were extremely grateful.

I am sorry you lost your boy, he was beautiful, but if your circumstances were the same as mine you let him go, because he was never going to be the same again, and he would never live a normal life again. That is the kindest, most loving thing an owner can do. I hope you can smile and laugh about him always.

xx
 
Oh dear, lots of love and hugs coming your way. Don't dwell, do something constructive and donate to Lami charity as suggested. I think that's a great idea.
 
I am so sorry... Sounds like he was very much loved. Lucky thing! A real rags to riches story if he came from a rescue centre.

XXX
 
I must admit I've got saddles and bridles, plus their rugs up in my loft, that I cann't bring myself to part with. Saddles from Stubben to Wintec and handmade bridles, each has their own memories. And as soon as I go through them to give away, all the good times come back and I cann't do it.
 
Oh what a beautiful horse. I know what you're going through I lost my mare nearly two years ago and still think about her everyday. Sometimes i'm fine but other times it's so raw. I think it helps to have a good old wallow every now and again. Hugs to you.
 
He is lovely and it looks like you looked after him really well and gave him a good life. I know it's hard, but try and stay positive and think of the good times. Why don't you make something in memory of him? Like a collage of photos or a photo album something? Or you could get a professional portrait done of him as a tribute.

I know how you feel. A mare I had a really strong bond with (even though I didn't own her) was pts last September. I still think about her all the time and sometimes get upset if I am feeling down anyway. I have lots of photos of her and I have kept her headcollar.

Chin up hun, I find that being even more determined with the horses you have now and knowing that what you are doing now, you wouldn't have been able to do without the experience you gained with that horse helps. It shows that they are still with you with everything you do.
 
I do so know how you feel. A day doesnt go by without missing Lance.Some days are very bad.Your boy was so handsome and he must have been someone very special too. It took me a month before I could take lances tack out of the horsebox. I have pictures of him allover the placeand I talk to him sometimes as if he was still here.A bit crazy but I am sure you understand. Sending Hugs to you.
 
He's beautiful.
At least you can rest in the knowledge he had a brilliant life with you :)
Not much use at the minute I know, but I hope you feel better soon xx
 
You obviously loved him very much! He was so gorgeous.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but I do know how you feel. Every time I see Gwen's portrait I cry :(

HUGE hugs for you, if you ever want to talk I am only a PM away xxx
 
He looks beautiful. I know what you're going through as I lost my mare with lami nearly two years ago. I think about her every single day but not so much with sadness now just mainly happy memories of the fun we had together. I have a lovely picture of her by my bed that my fiancée took of her before she was put to sleep, it sounds morbid but it was before the vet came and we'd put her out to stuff herself full of grass, it was the first time she'd been out in three months. It's how I want to remember her, not stuck in a stable, in pain and miserable.

I still have times when I feel sad and oh so devastated, someone said though which helped me, just remember that you loved her enough to let her go.

Please PM me if I can help in any other way xx
 
Stunning looking horse, and looking so fantastici your photos - can well unserstand the sadness, but as a rescue horse / pony you obviously did very well by him, so you should hang on to the positives (easily said!)
 
I still have all my pony's things - handing them over/passing them on would be to say goodbye to the only tangible things I have left that were her.

And I cry for her at the drop of a hat, even though I have four here still, all dearly loved.
 
thankyou everyone for your wonderfuly kind words... They have made a hard day a bit easier. I have pictures of billz all over the place and the most amazing and unique piece of glass work ever..... I made it myself and its really hard to explain but i made a frame of all different textured clear glass and suspended one of his shoes in the middle..... It looks kinda like a horse has put his foot througha frozen puddle.... It hangs right next to my bed. I will try to get round to postin a pic of it at some point so u can all see what i mean!! Thanku all once again.
Xx
 
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