Cheeky/ridiculous posts you see on Facebook.

Mystical said:
Saw a really cheeky one a few days ago while I was pony shopping:

"WANTED- Gelding To Loving Home

Hi I haven't ridden in 10 years and I am looking for a grey cob gelding 15-16hh, he must be able to be handled by a 3 year old and also be 100% bombproof. He must be showing material and be able to jump 1.10 meters for when my 13 year old daughter wants to compete in the summer. Also he needs to come with a full tack set and stable set (Like wheelbarrow poo fork etc) as I haven't bought anything for him yet and would need to be delivered as I dont have a trailer yet either. I am willing to pay quite a lot for him, I was thinking upto 200 pounds but maybe 250 if he comes with lots of saddles and bridles looking to buy in 1-2 days the old owner must also be able to come down a few days a week to ride and muck him out NO time wasters "

I was really tempted to message her with something like "I have a lovely horse he lives in dream land with unicorns and pixies" but I thought that would seem a bit rude so I'm leaving her to figure it out on her own but the ad has been out for over a month now so someone needs to tell her at some point...
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LOL

I'd be unable to resist replying to that :p

Probably say something like, so you want me to provide you with a horse (schoolmaster, showing star, Jumping King) a full horse starter set, do the work couple of days a week and I assume teach you to ride as well? How about I keep the horse, look after it 24/7, ride and compete it myself, not allow time wasters anywhere near him, no one but me rides/cares for him, and you give me the £250 as I've already tack for him.
 
only_me said:
LOL

I'd be unable to resist replying to that :p

Probably say something like, so you want me to provide you with a horse (schoolmaster, showing star, Jumping King) a full horse starter set, do the work couple of days a week and I assume teach you to ride as well? How about I keep the horse, look after it 24/7, ride and compete it myself, not allow time wasters anywhere near him, no one but me rides/cares for him, and you give me the £250 as I've already tack for him.
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I am struggling to resist replying now after your post *finger hovers over the comment button on the Facebook page*
I put (Sorry for nicking some of your reply but it was quite good hehe):

Okay so you want me to provide you with a horse which is good enough so it can be handled by an unborn child and hacked out by a granny (schoolmaster, showing star, Jumping King) a full horse starter set, a full wardrobe of tack with one of my saddles costing more than you want to pay for the horse, do the work couple of days a week and I assume teach you to ride as well? How about I keep the horse, look after it 24/7, ride and compete it myself, not allow time wasters anywhere near him, no one but me rides/cares for him. Sound good? Thought so :)
 
Another head-desk type one


Looking for experience rider to come and re school my 12/2 hWelsh section a pony as he is keep bucking my little girl off? Vet could not really see any think a matter with him but also sed could be his back but need an experience rider to find out this problem to see if it is his back or if he is just been naughty xxxx


She's been told to get a physio to check his back- says it's already been checked- but when pressed to get a physio resorts back to he's probably just being naughty...

Someone said to check the saddle- that doesn't need checking though cos it's a saddle to fit all ponies...

Adamant she wants a rider first. Personally I'd rather ensure the animal was comfortable before I risked putting someone even heavier on there- not to mention the possible insurance and legal cluster**** that could ensue if it throws a further bucking fit and hurts someone.
 
lrw0250 said:
There's 2 older guys who live not too far away from me in Scotland who are "spiritualists". They have "rescued" 2 poor wee scraps from a well known place in Ireland and have set up a go fund me for their livery, rugs, vet bills etc. Since bringing them over they have moved them off two yards (once while one of them had strangles!) and now have them in a field with no support from what I can tell. Some gullible idiot has donated stables for them and they are now asking for stable helpers for their "horse rescue charity". When questioned re their charity status they delete and block and tell people the police will be to see them! Its clear they have not a f'ing clue and it is all going to end in tears. I just feel sorry for the horses.
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Sigh...a local horsey business owner called them out on one of their begging posts (i.e. you are not a rescue and if you want horses you have to pay for things yourself etc.) and these two guys have just posted a 6 minute long live video rant about her and her business.
 
Sadly half of these numpties that but posts like these give us proper caring horse owners a bad name.

It must be society nowadays l like a bargin every now & again but the cheek of some people is staggering!!!
 
Mystical said:
Saw a really cheeky one a few days ago while I was pony shopping:

"WANTED- Gelding To Loving Home

Hi I haven't ridden in 10 years and I am looking for a grey cob gelding 15-16hh, he must be able to be handled by a 3 year old and also be 100% bombproof. He must be showing material and be able to jump 1.10 meters for when my 13 year old daughter wants to compete in the summer. Also he needs to come with a full tack set and stable set (Like wheelbarrow poo fork etc) as I haven't bought anything for him yet and would need to be delivered as I dont have a trailer yet either. I am willing to pay quite a lot for him, I was thinking upto 200 pounds but maybe 250 if he comes with lots of saddles and bridles looking to buy in 1-2 days the old owner must also be able to come down a few days a week to ride and muck him out NO time wasters "

I was really tempted to message her with something like "I have a lovely horse he lives in dream land with unicorns and pixies" but I thought that would seem a bit rude so I'm leaving her to figure it out on her own but the ad has been out for over a month now so someone needs to tell her at some point...
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Pllleeeeeeeaaasssseee send me the link .. I would have so much fun with that one :)
 
Just came across this hilarious thread and thought, though not Facebook, I would share a few gems from Gumtree in Australia. These are the standouts for me.

**Wanted: AJISTMANT ON SOME ACRES NEEDED ASAP MUST BE FREE.

**For free long term lease, as a COMPANION horse only NOT a RIDDEN horse this is not due to an injury, I do ride her, however do not want to lease her to a ridden home. excellent, well mannered, polite, 13 rising 14 year old mare, QH x Stock horse, 15hh, good doer, no special feed requirements. Currently just sitting in paddock due to other commitments such as work, study and travelling.
Could be much better utilised somewhere else with some more frequent attention. Happy to still contribute to the 'costs of living' as she is very special to me. Message for more info :)

**Hi I'm looking for a horse to start trail riding. Must have gentle nature. No bite. No bolt. No buck. No Shy Ect. Between 15hh and 16hh. Not really concerned on breed or colour but hoping for a black. Grey. Chestnut. Bay. Will be fine with paint. or roan if possible some tack and or feed .Rug. Halter.Bridle.Saddle provided to start with will pay up 300 for tack and feed. Horse must be used to roads dogs cats trucks chickens ect. Easy to clip shoe load ect. Just looking a friend to build confidence with. Would prefer gelding but will consider mare if the requirements are met now this might be a bit picky but I would prefer a horse with no white markings if it is a solid colour unless it has for socks or a blaze so hope fully I get a reply soon make sure you send lots of photos!!!!!!!!!!

This one is REALLY strange and hard to understand so I included a link! http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/lynb...is-angel-if-you-would-like-to-help/1135619856

**As a little girl I worked with Tommy Woodcock and road my best friend reckless on Pharlaps rug. My fathers father was Tommy's best mate. I also had silver denim who went to mountain racing. This is the dream I have to have this black horse (admit bit out practice) but on x40 acres and I can't get horse out of my blood. Due to parental separation as a kid my gear was all sold off original saddle etc I can provide a very good home bit of an animal whisperer everything on this farm single mum now 10 yr old daughter and 4 year old strapping son training as farmer truly amazing but something big is missing to get a horse back spent a lot of my childhood in gippsland and bayside lost the lot starting again due to bad choices we all make after working hard since 15 won't give you life story if you feel you have the black horse for me and / or pony for kids happy to take them on and know they will be spoilt rotten like pigs, goats, cows, sheep, alpacas, dogs, cats, kittens you name it it's a spiritual thing to have a horse back I'm sure some will understand it would be a dream come true I have a lot of antiques and artwork to trade very valuable which I can offer thank you for reading this I'm just putting it out there and sure my black baby will come my way someway somehow
 
There's a new horse posted today on Horse auctions Online! - that held by those well known TicToc dealers. It's for a lovely looking chestnut with a BSJA record. It's entitled 'honest advert'. It goes on to say how she's been ill and that she part-Xed this chap for a 4 yo but can't cope. The advertiser is a dealer and I desperately want to call her up on it. She used to live down my lane and her track record with the RSPCA is quite something. When she moved she left all her horses in their stables for 2 weeks without water. Someone used to come and bung a bit of mouldy hay over the doors. The people who had moved in were promised the horses would be gone the next day and were astounded it didn't happen.

Am so angry at seeing that ad... If anyone is on that group has the gumption to do so, they should call her up on it.
 
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Someone looking for free second hand hats and gear for their young granddaughters who have just started riding. Second hand riding hat. For free. On children who can't ride. What could possibly go wrong?
 
A general enquiry recently posted on a local horsey FB page:-

'i have £1000 what have you got? must be bomb proof prefiably as its my first horse'

Someone replies 'It might help if you gave details about the kind of horse you are looking for rather than just what you can spend'

To which the OP retorts 'I asked what people have got, I don't mind what breed don't like what I put don't comment!!!'
 
I am looking for a very special sharer to share along side my existing sharer as I am moving abroad for work.

**** is a very talented wee mare but has her quirks. If your lucky enough to get along with her you will benefit from a fantastic partner.

I have owned ***** since she was 6 months old and have broken her myself. She carries herself in a natural outline and will happily perform some lateral work although she still has a lot to learn. she will happily pop a few fences and never backs off a jump although she is still working on her striding.

***** can be difficult at times and is a highly strung youngster she doesn't have a bad bone in her she just likes to test a new rider out and still tests us from time to time. She is easily sat through her tantrums by a competent rider. Her wee moments just consist of a squel a leap and a wee buck just moodiness. she hasn't been known to rear or bolt ever and when you work through the tantrums she works perfectly well.

***** will hack alone or in company with the right rider. She loves a gallop in open spaces and isn't strong in this situation she always comes back and will not go until you ask her.

Our current sharer is fantastic and we are looking for a like minded sharer to join in our team and enjoy a truly fantastic wee horse if your willing to put in the work.

Please do not hesitate to contact with any questions. All questions will be answered honestly.

And the interested parties should be happy to pay £250 (presumably per month!)
 
Jenni_ said:
I am looking for a very special sharer to share along side my existing sharer as I am moving abroad for work.

**** is a very talented wee mare but has her quirks. If your lucky enough to get along with her you will benefit from a fantastic partner.

I have owned ***** since she was 6 months old and have broken her myself. She carries herself in a natural outline and will happily perform some lateral work although she still has a lot to learn. she will happily pop a few fences and never backs off a jump although she is still working on her striding.

***** can be difficult at times and is a highly strung youngster she doesn't have a bad bone in her she just likes to test a new rider out and still tests us from time to time. She is easily sat through her tantrums by a competent rider. Her wee moments just consist of a squel a leap and a wee buck just moodiness. she hasn't been known to rear or bolt ever and when you work through the tantrums she works perfectly well.

***** will hack alone or in company with the right rider. She loves a gallop in open spaces and isn't strong in this situation she always comes back and will not go until you ask her.

Our current sharer is fantastic and we are looking for a like minded sharer to join in our team and enjoy a truly fantastic wee horse if your willing to put in the work.

Please do not hesitate to contact with any questions. All questions will be answered honestly.

And the interested parties should be happy to pay £250 (presumably per month!)
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HOLY CRUD. I was reading this thinking, oh thats a nice honest adverrr... omg
 
Just seen a post on Facebook: someone has sold their dangerous, vertical rearing and bucking horse to someone else. They are cross because that person now has it advertised for sale.
She seems genuinely put out by people's responses that she should never have sold it in the first place, but PTS instead.
I despair...
 
Flicker said:
Just seen a post on Facebook: someone has sold their dangerous, vertical rearing and bucking horse to someone else. They are cross because that person now has it advertised for sale.
She seems genuinely put out by people's responses that she should never have sold it in the first place, but PTS instead.
I despair...
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Has she removed it? I saw it earlier but can't find it now.
 
Flicker said:
Just seen a post on Facebook: someone has sold their dangerous, vertical rearing and bucking horse to someone else. They are cross because that person now has it advertised for sale.
She seems genuinely put out by people's responses that she should never have sold it in the first place, but PTS instead.
I despair...
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I saw this on the Dodgy Dealers page. There was also some very colourful language used by some of the people defending her decision to describe those who pointed out the obvious: that the horse should never have been passed on in the first place.
 
Not on a horsey Facebook page but a local selling group earlier.
' Has anyone got a male pug or chi they are willing to stud out. My chi b*tch is in heat and I'd love some puppies!' (Or words to such effect) I'm usually very restrained when it comes to Facebook numpties but I had to comment on this one.
 
"WANTED
13-14.2hh pony must be broken to ride ages from 5-12yrs Must be sensible but don't mind forward going ponies. No rearing,buckers or blotters!! No silly prices at most £600"
 
Facebook.

"For sale, 16h black mare, competed in all, well schooled, highly placed dressage and good outline."
Same horse is pictured working in draw reins or side reins in every flatwork picture.
 
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