Cheer me up - livery woes. Different planet ???

[EJJ999]

Have never felt more like giving up. What is it with yards?

I am sure I am not perfect livery. I just think I don't understand the rules. I feel I am missing an important something that others understand and I don't. I get it's not personal it's 'just yards'. But when you get chucked off a yard for something I didn't do and have no opportunity to prove my innocence. I get it my face doesn't fit. Just feel miserable.

I am not young. I have had difficult jobs with awkward horrible people and have always managed to cope and rub along well enough.

I thought pretty much the deal was to pay on time, clean up after yourself, mind your own business (unless someone needs help), be polite and friendly.

Just a self pitying vent.

 

[SpringArising]

It's not you. There are just some horrid people out there, especially in the horse world for some reason!

 

[EJJ999]

Thank you. It's just it was such a good yard and my face seemed to fit for about a year and then for the last 6 months I couldn't do right for wrong. YO walking straight past me and speaking to the person behind me. Shouting hello to the person I walked in with and not acknowledging me. In July she said I did 3 things that I didn't. I let her know that I didn't but I didn't get personal about it. I think I was supposed to take the hint and leave and when I didn't she resorted to accusing me of something and not letting me prove otherwise. I suspect it has more to do with her own personal issues but when you have a horse, you need a yard, and YO holds all the cards.

I can happily walk away but you have a problem of having to find another yard. And lack the confidence that this doesn't just keep happening.

Still self pitying !!!!!!!!

 

[conkers]

Been there, got the t-shirt, am now giving up horses as a result.

 

[SpringArising]

It's a really hard situation but try to remember it's them not you!

 

[mums the groom]

all YO have to be slightly mad, some are just worse than others. had experience of a few bad yards, got a great one now. just keep your eyes open for a yard near you that has spaces and don't tell anyone if you go and look at it. I moved out of the area on my last move as the nutty yard owner rang every yard to say I was trouble so when I rang up and say my name suddenly there was no room. I'm not a bad Livery I pay on time have easy ponies, and have great friendships on the yard. Hang on in there you will find a decent yard (or hope you win the lottery to afford your own place )

 

[wingedhorse]

Thank you. It's just it was such a good yard and my face seemed to fit for about a year and then for the last 6 months I couldn't do right for wrong. YO walking straight past me and speaking to the person behind me. Shouting hello to the person I walked in with and not acknowledging me. In July she said I did 3 things that I didn't. I let her know that I didn't but I didn't get personal about it. I think I was supposed to take the hint and leave and when I didn't she resorted to accusing me of something and not letting me prove otherwise. I suspect it has more to do with her own personal issues but when you have a horse, you need a yard, and YO holds all the cards.

I can happily walk away but you have a problem of having to find another yard. And lack the confidence that this doesn't just keep happening.

Still self pitying !!!!!!!!

Is there a wider reason you can understand? Is YO jealous of something you or your horse has or does that she feels threatened by? Or are you older, and wiser and more seasoned than them, and they feel threatened?

Or maybe you have reasonably pointed out a failing / short coming at some point in last six months, and they have reacted personally rather than professionally.

Maybe you should ask current YO for clear feedback on why she is giving you notice.

 

[JFTDWS]

Yards are weird - between the bonkers liveries and all the potential for bonkersness in the yard staff, manager and owner, it's a wonder any of them work.... I do sometimes think that some YO's get a bit carried away with the thought of their own importance - obviously it's their land and they can set whatever rules they like - but sometimes they forget that liveries are paying for a service and if you move the goalposts too much, or treat them like idiots, they will move on.

My previous YO droned on and on about how they had the best hacking and turnout in the area - I moved to another yard a small distance away, and have infinitely better hacking and an awful lot more turnout, for half the money. I think she genuinely believed what she was saying, and that nobody in their right mind would leave her yard. She was wrong - but I think it's a fairly common fault in certain types of YOs.

At the end of the day, it sounds like her problem. If you pay your bills, keep your head down and don't create issues (personal, mess, damage or danger), I can't really see how it's you at fault.

 

[scotlass]

Thank you. It's just it was such a good yard and my face seemed to fit for about a year and then for the last 6 months I couldn't do right for wrong. YO walking straight past me and speaking to the person behind me. Shouting hello to the person I walked in with and not acknowledging me. In July she said I did 3 things that I didn't. I let her know that I didn't but I didn't get personal about it. I think I was supposed to take the hint and leave and when I didn't she resorted to accusing me of something and not letting me prove otherwise. I suspect it has more to do with her own personal issues but when you have a horse, you need a yard, and YO holds all the cards.

I can happily walk away but you have a problem of having to find another yard. And lack the confidence that this doesn't just keep happening.

Still self pitying !!!!!!!!

You're not in Edinburgh by any chance, are you?

 

[DD]

at least the YO isn't getting your money any more. that's a positive.
#

 

[EJJ999]

Oh thats sad.

 

[EJJ999]

Is there a wider reason you can understand? Is YO jealous of something you or your horse has or does that she feels threatened by? Or are you older, and wiser and more seasoned than them, and they feel threatened?

Or maybe you have reasonably pointed out a failing / short coming at some point in last six months, and they have reacted personally rather than professionally.

Maybe you should ask current YO for clear feedback on why she is giving you notice.

She is throwing me off the yard and accusing me of the worst thing you could accuse a livery of !!! She has put horse on full livery (she obv trusts me enough to think I will pay) so that I don't have to be on the yard until end of her notice period

 

[EJJ999]

You're not in Edinburgh by any chance, are you?

No. Not that area.

 

[DD]

Oh thats sad.

? whats sad? don't get it.

 

[DD]

Been there, got the t-shirt, am now giving up horses as a result.

^^^ this is sad. what ashame.

 

[DD]

Thank you. It's just it was such a good yard and my face seemed to fit for about a year and then for the last 6 months I couldn't do right for wrong. YO walking straight past me and speaking to the person behind me. Shouting hello to the person I walked in with and not acknowledging me. In July she said I did 3 things that I didn't. I let her know that I didn't but I didn't get personal about it. I think I was supposed to take the hint and leave and when I didn't she resorted to accusing me of something and not letting me prove otherwise. I suspect it has more to do with her own personal issues but when you have a horse, you need a yard, and YO holds all the cards.

I can happily walk away but you have a problem of having to find another yard. And lack the confidence that this doesn't just keep happening.

Still self pitying !!!!!!!!

rotten for you but surely you don't wqant to stay at such a horrid place? you must be better off elsewhere.

 

[EJJ999]

^^^ this is sad. what ashame.

Yes. I don't get this reply with quotes thing very well. Then I tried to delete the message and try again. Doesn't help when you haven't slept!

 

[LaurenBay]

She is throwing me off the yard and accusing me of the worst thing you could accuse a livery of !!! She has put horse on full livery (she obv trusts me enough to think I will pay) so that I don't have to be on the yard until end of her notice period

If you have paid your notice then you can take the Horse now if you have somewhere to go? She can't ban you from seeing your Horse.

 

[Sussexbythesea]

Is this the first time you’ve been thrown off a Yard? Only it sounds as if you’ve had other issues at other yards from your post.

I’ve known someone be chucked off a yard for bullying and she goes around telling other people she doesn’t know why she was chucked off. She most definitely was a bully / nasty woman as I was one of her victims as were other chosen lucky people. Thing is I genuinely think she doesn’t think her behaviour is bullying or unacceptable as she thinks she’s gods gift to the world.

 

[Antw23uk]

No smoke without fire!

 

[EJJ999]

If you have paid your notice then you can take the Horse now if you have somewhere to go? She can't ban you from seeing your Horse.

I have nowhere to go at the moment. Believe me I am working on it. Worrying myself stupid that she is nasty enough to spread the lie about it. If she did no one would touch me. There is no proof - there couldn't be - I didn't do it ! Hopefully, I will move to a yard that knows that she is bonkers (if it ever gets out). I won't be saying where I am going though. At least if she causes trouble when I am there they will, hopefully, judge for themselves.

It's easy enough to prove how quickly I have paid my bills (although that's not the accusation).

 

[LaurenBay]

In that case perhaps drive around some local yards and speak with the YO's face to face. I wouldn't mention the bad situation you are in, and I would not name the yard you are at. If they meet you face to face they can make their own judgement of you. Whereas if you put a post on FB and current YO is looking at it, she may message anyone who comments. Perhaps also look at the boards in your local tack shop.

 

[EventingMum]

It's very sad to read stories like this. It does seem to me that incidents between YOs and livery clients happen far more on DIY yards so I have never offered DIY livery. We have been in business 30 years and have never asked anyone to leave - we have a clear set of rules stated in the contract and our clients know how the yard is run before they bring their horses to us. They are expected to pay on time and if they have any concerns speak to us before things become a big issue. In return, I and my staff treat them and their horses with respect, don't have favourites and communicate with them about the care of their horses and any changes that we are going to make (feed etc). We have had all sorts of clients from near beginners needing help and support to a semi-professional competition rider with 6 horses at one time.

 

[hairycob]

I understand. I was at one yard for just a few weeks when YO came round to my house ranting at my husband and giving me a weeks notice (contract was 1 month). Turned out my sin was pulling ragwort without permission! Luckily I could go back to my old yard for a while but I had left there as it was purely grass livery and I wanted a stable. Had a couple of run ins with the batty YO in other contexts as we live in the same village. Came to the conclusion she was just a nutter about everything.

 

[EventfulEventer]

My ex YO had a son who was an OK Showjumper, had a brilliant horse who jumped 1.40m with them but never won anything. I came along with my ex-racehorse who had this untapped talent for jumping. He jumps like a stag and loves the competition, when I started competing was when things went sour between us. YO started acting like this towards me and I am 100% certain it was because she felt threatened by my horse and me because all of a sudden their Son and his horse weren't the only (Trumpet blowing moment-apologies) half decent competition pair on the yard. It's just the way some people are unfortunately.

 

[LaurenBay]

I once had a YO that took a massive disliking to my Horse. She said she was ugly and made all the others run around. She was turned out in a herd of 13. Even if all 13 of them were having a blast it was always my mares fault despite the fact no one had seen who had "started" it.

 

[Nativelover]

I’m sorry you’re in this position OP, I’ve been in a similar position and it caused me so much stress it took me a long time to enjoy horses again.
I moved from a niceish yard (ever changing rules on turnout just took its toll on my poor horse) after lots of agonising about the decision.
I’d been moved 2 days when I got kicked off, excuses being YO didn’t like my horse, he ran round in the field too much, kicked everyone, barged the gate etc
I was apparently lovely but not my horse.
Now I’d never had any field issues with my horse, before this or since. Yes he ran around but he’d been stabled for 3 months, the YO wouldn’t allow turnout in a different field for him to meet the herd over the fence. She insisted he was just turned out in a mixed herd and get on with it.
It turns out that a ‘friend’ on the yard had told the YO a pack of lies.
I moved off swiftly, but the YO harassed and threatened me when I only paid for a weeks livery (I was there 3 days) she demanded 2 weeks as I should’ve given notice !!???

YO’s are mostly bonkers and full of their own self importance. There are a few, too few, genuinely lovely YO’s who really care about their liveries, both human and equine.
I hope you find somewhere quickly OP and get your horse out of there.

 

[Walnuts]

This made for a depressing read. I hope those involved find a peaceful and good so.ution

 

[Dave's Mam]

I hope this turns out ok.

 

[Rosiejazzandpia]

Sorry to hear that you're in such a tough situation.
Liveries can be awful, but yard owners equally so.

I have had the displeasure of a few really nasty yard owners when I was 15-20 years old. I had one yard owner who put prices up and up with no reason other than that she said we were the best yard with the best facilities around (we had no school and average turnout, poor quality hay and stables that were falling apart).
I had another who said we weren't allowed to teach horses to jump as they would jump out, and that if the herd of 18 were running about then it was my mares fault every single time because "she was young". She was 14 and the others were 13-38 years old she was really horrible and her and a few unpleasant liveries ganged up on me, I was only 17 and it really upset me and put me off the horsey world in general

I hope you find a good alternative yard quickly, or even just some temporary grazing as she cannot stop you seeing your horse and you have every right to remove your horse as long as you've paid your notice period.