Cheer me up with your competition epic fails

[lucyebbs]

on the way to a dressage comp we got stuck in traffic, so i had no warm up time.. just went straight into the test.
this was the first time my little coloured had seen raised boards round the arena, we went down the centre line and turned left then jumped out the arena!!
i just jumped back in and carried on with the test, and i also found out he'd never seen flowers around an arena before!
then the little monkey wouldn't canter and on the judges comments, she wrote 'very own minded'!!!!

 

[Arniebear]

I managed to fall off when mounting, my foot was in the stirrup then i was on the floor!! And in the same day off a different horse i fell off dismounting :/ highly embarrassing it was in front of everyone and pony decided a lap of honor was needed... I left mum to catch him and headed back to the box to mount my next one!!

 

[Mike007]

A dressage judge stopped my test today ,halfway through because she thought Bob the nota cob was becoming unsafe. In fairness and to be more accurate ,he was perfectly safe . Unfortunately nobody else within 50 yards of him was

 

[AdorableAlice]

Solihull Riding Club BD dressage outdoor arena, freezing December day and stupid here had clipped the 18h heavyweight hunter out the day before. Bell goes, enter at A, squeal, squeal, honk, buck, swear, scream, squeal, thud directly onto X. Judge said the horse kept straight throughout - there's a bonus then.

Very recently at Allens Hill in the school that is directly adjacent to the lorry park. My lorry is parked facing the arena. My horse being ridden by a friend, medium test in horizontal rain, hail and blowing a gale. Unimpressed horse puts himself into rolkur and enters at A, halts at X, puts his head between his front legs and reverses, in a straight line back down the centre line out of the arena, does a turn on the haunches and continues reversing outside the arena down the longside, out of school and back to the lorry. Rider hurls himself off and horse loads itself.

 

[lucyebbs]

My horse being ridden by a friend, medium test in horizontal rain, hail and blowing a gale. Unimpressed horse puts himself into rolkur and enters at A, halts at X, puts his head between his front legs and reverses, in a straight line back down the centre line out of the arena, does a turn on the haunches and continues reversing outside the arena down the longside, out of school and back to the lorry. Rider hurls himself off and horse loads itself.

Sorry, but I cant help but giggle at this!!

 

[AdorableAlice]

Sorry, but I cant help but giggle at this!!

Along with a lot of other people ! the horse was 18 when he did that, very well known and a prolific winner, his last outing at that venue was a win on 79%. He is 20 now, retired and at the first sign of rain goes and parks in his field shelter. The precious boy simply does not do rain, end of.

 

[Firewell]

I have loads.
First jumping comp as a child my pony stopped and bucked me off at the first fence. I had a proper tantrum lying on the ground and my dad had to come into the arena, pick me off up the floor and lock me in the car until I calmed down and then noone could catch my pony.

I once forgot the course in every class I had entered on two different horses who were jumping lovely.

I have had to get off mid dressage test to throw up at the side of the arena (tummy bug).

I didn't even compete once when my old horse was such a horror in the warm up I just got off and went home.

With current boy we were on track to winning a SJ class untill I missed the last fence out and got eliminated.

We would have been placed BE if I had not crawled round the XC getting a million time faults because I had forgotten my glasses and couldn't see where the hell I was going.

Oh I have also turned up at a show just as they were packing everything away.

One show this year I missed two of my classes as was running so late.

All part of the fun I say .

 

[Shutterbug]

Oh this thread has had me in stitches
I managed to go round an 18 jump XC course and only managed 5 of the jumps - he refused all the rest :O
I also fell off mid canter in a dressage test on a horse that wasnt mine - I still to this day have no idea why I fell off - I was cantering a 20m circle in the middle of the school and the next thing I was on the floor - horse did nothing to cause it, it was like I fell asleep in the saddle and just fell over

 

[ClobellsandBaubles]

A memorable one- I as only doing the 75cm novice class on a friends horse. We were doing a rather sticky round so say the least, got the striding wrong to an oxer which was the 2nd part of a double, next thing I know I am sitting on my bum facing the opposite direction still with both feet in the stirrups as the horse made for the collecting ring... made for a rather amusing image as I exited on foot carrying my stirrups

 

[Festive_Felicitations]

Not at a competition but my most embaressing moment of late - helping whip in (hunting in Aus) I was leading the Huntman's horse nice controlled canter, came round the corner of the covert and the field were ahead, the ex-racehorse I was leading and my 'wanna be' ex-race horse decided that this was obviously a race
and took off. Unfortunately there was no way I was stopping 2 fit 16.2hh TBs, both in snaffles, and steering was disintergrating rapidly.

Called out 'Whip please' shortly followed by 'Look out! I'm not kidding! I have no brakes or steering!!!' and went straight throught the centre of the field scattering them left and right and centre... whoops!

Half a field later and in front, both horses got a bit got bored or remembered their manners and I managed wrestle them back to a polite canter and we contiued round to the Huntsman. I did apologise to everyone later but I was seriously unimpressed with both horses. Both fine to be hunted in snaffles normally, but they were like a pair of naughty school boys egging each other on then having a ball of a time legging it up the field together, not really racing each other just having a good old Wheeeeeeeeeeeee! at my expense :-/

 

[BBP]

Took the then 27yr old welshie in a ridden veteran class at a decent show. Approximately 20 horses and ponies in the class, all going well, pony showing lovely flicky 'in a former top show pony' trot, call comes to canter on and the old dear decides to shove head between knees, porpoise around half the ring and then bog off once saddle suitably slipped. Cue mass stampede from 20 reprobate veterans. By the time the last one had been pulled up after several circuits of the ring, my little darling was standing angelically wondering what the fuss was for as I grovelled to the judge and tried to reset my saddle. Mortified. But hilarious to see so many oldies having fun!

 

[SuperH]

When I was about 13 I took my old pony showing, was happily walking around in the ring until we came alongside the spectators leaning over the ringside. As we walk past my pony casually reaches over and takes a burger from one unlucky spectator and merrily continues walking around the ring chewing it.

Aged about 12 I fell off another pony 7 times at a hunter trial - in the warm up. I should have quit then but was talked into giving the course a try. Two refusals at fence one, got over third attempt. Didn't like the look of fence two so trotted past it, gave fence three a try and cleared it, missed out fence four. Had a stop at fence five. Waited for the next competitor for a lead! Then called it a day. That was the first time pony club had made it compulsory to wear a body protector, I had a crescent shaped bruise on my bottom afterwards.

Wasn't a competition but I used to jump a hedge on our hack on a regular basis, one day cantered up to it, pony stopped and I did a lovely somersault over their head and got hooked with the hedge stuck under my body protector and unable to reach the ground facing the pony. I had to take my body protector off to get free and drop down from the hedge.

 

[Luci07]

OK, how about years ago, competing at Cranleigh show. Doing a wonderful if somewhat speedy SJ round. Had not put in studs (idiot), grass was watered and long.

Was eliminated as said horse fell over, slid under the rope around the ring (with me still on board). I was eliminated for "failing to leave the ring in the correct manner".. nuff said..

 

[Mike007]

Thats a bit harsh !Edited to add that if it had been Bob the nota cob ,I could have understood ,as his fat Arse would have taken down all the ropes.(you can tell that he and I are not friends at the moment,since he got me thrown out half way through the dressage at Pacesham for being dangerous!!!!!on saturday)

 

[Garnet]

Final fence at Markyate horse trials 1992. It had poured with rain all day, everyone was soaked and then I "missed" at the last fence. Yes, I has been clear up until that point and yes, I fell off. No, it didn't improve the day or the journey home - oooops!

 

[chels]

Very recently at Allens Hill in the school that is directly adjacent to the lorry park. My lorry is parked facing the arena. My horse being ridden by a friend, medium test in horizontal rain, hail and blowing a gale. Unimpressed horse puts himself into rolkur and enters at A, halts at X, puts his head between his front legs and reverses, in a straight line back down the centre line out of the arena, does a turn on the haunches and continues reversing outside the arena down the longside, out of school and back to the lorry. Rider hurls himself off and horse loads itself.

OMG can't stop laughing!

 

[chels]

I could write a book between my two big boys!
Jake the mad TB, far too much horse for 15yr old me but ever so pretty.
A small local PC dressage day; trotted in nice as pie, got to X, decided to salute the judge himself with both front legs. Spun in circles rearing and stag leaping in the middle of the arena. Couldn't get him to do anything in order to retire, leave or continue test. Wee rather elderly judge gets out of her car and calls me over, we get there eventually and she proceeds to ream me for throwing marks away by not using the corners of my arena. Thanks for the tip...
Our first horse trial, bucked me off twice at Jump 5 on the xc, then absolutely flew round the rest, through the finish flags, over the rope back onto the crossed, barrelled over a PN roll top backwards, two full wire fences, down the raceway and back to his trailer. Awfully pleased with himself was he.
And then, as a semi retired happy hacker at 24, went to do a 50cm HT for an outing. Halfway through dressage test, reared, bolted, jumped boards, bonnet of judge's car and arena fence and carted me off down the xc course. Took me half an hour to jog sideways back to the truck park.

 

[tda]

As a child I was also left on the ring ropes by a Shetland who went under!

Also BSPS winter champs M&M workers, ok I'd only qualified by default by the bloomin mare would not even jump the first fence.....3 refusals Arrrrrggghhh!!!!!

 

[chels]

And the white one...
First horse trial together, huge palisade, once we'd jumped it I had to stop and vomit.
Coming to a water jump, horse looking at the moving digger over the fence and paying no attention to me or where we were going, coming down to the log at A and galloped straight into it.
Was a very quiet xc horse when he first arrived, needed lots of encouragement. Third season in something clicked and he turned into demon horse to warm up, lined up everything in front of him, whether you were jumping it or not. Taupo HT he took on the intermediate warm up fence backwards, TD said he thought I'd probably warmed up enough (had only purposely jumped one fence!). Stormed round the course for his first clear.
Waeranga HT he thought he'd try going really really fast (in a snaffle). I had no brakes and was a little concerned. He got to the water two thirds the way round, leapt off the bank, stopped in the middle and wouldn't move. He felt he was done. Had to get off and lead him out and we set off on the walk of shame home.
Our final HT, jump two was a full height (105) ramp with pot plants in front (his nemesis) through a little gap between two other jumps. He came up the hill to it, backing off, backing off until we were pretty much walking and I thought he'd stopped so I'd let him look at it before I circled to represent. He got to the base, looked, decided it was fine and catapulted himself skyward with me clinging on for dear life. Jumped me up his neck and broke my arm in 5 places (but I never fell off!). I have RA and my wrists are fused, and while it hurt I thought I'd just banged it so carried on around the biggest trickiest course I've ever ridden which he did all himself while I tried to stay on top. jumped through the water at 14 and stopped in the paddock. I don't remember much from about jump 8. Had to be lifted off and ambulanced out :roll eyes:
Fast forward a couple of years, no more jumpies and I am a classified para rider.
Winter dressage show. A jacket on the rail next to our arena blows in towards him as we are returning to the track at counter canter. Instead of running away from said jacket, he lunged TOWARDS it (predator instincts perhaps?) which resulted in him getting the pipe arena edging between his front legs. He then tried to spin, tripped himself up and nosedived into a puddle. Launched up, cantered off, so we counter cantered up the centre line and skidded to a halt somewhere in the region of G, absolutely sopping wet and filthy dirty.
Horse of the Year this year. He'd been really quiet all week since arrival (lulling me into a false sense of security I now know) and so we toddled over for our first test. In the field behind my arena was chickens and a chicken house (with fans on the wall) which was quite scary that day (although hadn't been the day before) but we could cope. Just. Then the carriage horses started warming up. Yesterday they had only walked, not so today. Getting rather tense. Started test, going ok but feeling rather explosive. THEN the helicopter arrived. Cue rear, spin, bolt a couple of steps, sliding, QH type stop. Good emergency brakes that horse. Managed to turn back to judges car in order to retire, but then couldn't convince him to move in order to leave arena. Chickens ahead, carriages behind, one brain fried large white horse. Had to be rescued and lead out by my helper. Couldn't get him to stand long enough to untie me so I could get off so had to be lead back through the grounds to our stables, Ridge snorting and trumpeting the whole time. Yes folks, this is my para dressage horse.

 

[Captain Bridget]

There are some absolute classics in here!! Horses are funny creatures.

I only have a couple of moments as I've only just started competing really.

At Alresford Show (County level agricultural show), on Larry in the ROR Challenge class. Refused once at fence 1, once at fence 2, once at fence 3 and once at fence 5 then eliminated. We only made it over 4 out of 9 jumps. I was horribly embarrassed as he'd jumped everything in the warm up! But as it was a two phase class I went back in for the flat section and he was great, although due to our poor jumping performance we were last out of five. Still got a lovely rosette though!

At the same show riding a different horse. 16 year old cantankerous old git. Went into the ridden veteran class. He did the go around okay, a bit silly here and there. Then had to stand in the line up for the longest time as the class was so big. He got very bored and wouldn't stand still. When it was our turn for the individual show I could hardly get him going to start with, then he went lovely for half of it, and then he turned into a demon. Going any direction but forwards, threatening to rear, careering through the rest of the line up and scattering them across the ring and finally having to be removed from the ring by his owner while the judge wasn't looking! He'd come 3rd in the ROR challenge and qualified for Royal Windsor earlier in the day!

 

[Mince Pie]

Thats a bit harsh !Edited to add that if it had been Bob the nota cob ,I could have understood ,as his fat Arse would have taken down all the ropes.(you can tell that he and I are not friends at the moment,since he got me thrown out half way through the dressage at Pacesham for being dangerous!!!!!on saturday)

Oh Miiiike... I do think "that" photo needs to make a reappearance...

 

[Jango]

These are so funny!! My most embarrassing one was in a gymkhana race on a friends pony when I was a kid, you had to take a piece of toilet paper of the roll at one end and stab it onto a spike at the other (was a bit of an odd race!). I lunged for the bog roll but the piece didn't come off, the pony was spooked and we galloped out of the arena with a full toilet roll streaming behind us! I don't know why I didn't just let go!!

 

[Optimissteeq]

Rather amusing thread - horses are very leveling aren't they? - My contribution - I took my TB to an indoor dressage test (he'd been indoors before so no worries there), bell rang, we entered at A, then horse spied himself in the mirror running the length of the long side. Being a sociable creature he whinnied a 'hello' and turned his head to see if horse would respond back - this prompted laughter from the people seated in the gallery behind him. Horse spins 180 to glare at crowd - eye's popping out 'where did they come from?' then moon walks back towards C - (judge was furiously ringing the bell at this point). we did complete the test but it was interspersed with whinnies to new found friend in the mirror and snorts at the people who had the gall to laugh at him (it wasn't a high scoring test)

 

[MagicMelon]

Third season in something clicked and he turned into demon horse to warm up, lined up everything in front of him, whether you were jumping it or not.

Ha ha, this made me think of my grey as the opposite (pre his retirement ). Towards the end of his eventing career he got quite wound up about the XC warm up, especially at one venue in particular (Burgie), he would basically enter the XC warm up and I'd start trotting round then suddenly it would hit him he was about to go XC and that was so exciting he would just had to plant himself to the spot suddenly then do nothing but spin in circles! Couldn't get him to go forward or even stand still - he was just all over the place sideways and spinning! At the last Burgie CIC* he did it really badly, I didn't even get to jump one warm up fence!! He did this at quite a few events prior to this (he's just an anxious horse, he adores his XC) and I knew I could trust him with no warm up jumps as he was a XC machine. He fairly shot out of the start box and always cruised round clear but hell not exactly a nice calm warm up! Only once (at Burgie again actually!) did he suddenly do it in the middle of the XC course, after the 4th fence, he suddenly dived to the left and galloped sideways to a big pylon and then had a paddy where his legs were going everywhere but we weren't! Took about 20 seconds of me kicking him like mad yet trying to calm him down, when suddenly the handbrake came off and off we went again (were clear but had time faults obviously). Funny thing was he never ever did stuff like this day to day or when showjumping etc. He was extremely well behaved, the XC was just too exciting.

 

[anna22]

Getting 40% in an intro… Forgetting a test half way round… Not even getting over fence one, horse decided marquees were terrifying this day so stood on his back legs and refused to go anywhere… Jumping the dressage boards 3 times in one test… Going over a jump minus pony and ended up hanging in the middle of the spread, fence still intact?! …
And a non-competing one, but out hunting my 17.2 grey beast decided dubbing was so boring, he would lie down in the middle of the meet with me on his back mortified… master asked if it was our party trick…
Happens to everyone, yours certainly isn't the first, nor the last time you'll make a hash of something!

 

[JustMeThen]

So many! Pretty much all the above has happened to me in one way or another!!

But, I do remember being at Stonar Schools ODE, and in the pouring rain, on a very non dressage pony, trying to do dressage. All was going well, as well as expected, down the centre line, stop, salute, continue, C track right... BEEEP. So I stopped. Sure I knew I was right. After an age of me standing there in shock, the judge finally got out and asked what was wrong! I then said I had gone wrong as I got beeped, with a no you didn't, yes you did panto style argument! Only after that, did I realise it was the arena next to me that beeped. For my error, (and argument) I got something like 80penalities, = true shocker!
Never mind, I'm on a jumping machine, make up some places in the next phases. For the first time ever (and only time), pony had other ideas, and by fence 3 SJ I was elim. Well, should have stayed in bed that day!!

I was jumping once when the judges beeped me... I pulled up and asked what it was and they said I'd jumped the wrong course. I was sure I hadn't and we argued for a bit but it was only when my friend pointed out I'd knocked down the fence they said I hadn't jumped that they admitted defeat

The other week, I was jumping a single phase course and got so carried away because the boy was jumping so well and I was enjoying it so much, I forgot the last fence.

To top it though, I jumped at the Area 46 show one year and jumping just after me was William Funnell. Obviously it was the biggest thing I'd ever done and a nothing for him... we were warming up at the same time and his groom was about to put the oxer up when I asked if I could jump it first. Cue WF, groom and others all standing back, watching me - and I got it completely wrong, buried my poor horse and sent all four wings and three poles flying. Oops.

 

[JustMeThen]

Rather amusing thread - horses are very leveling aren't they? - My contribution - I took my TB to an indoor dressage test (he'd been indoors before so no worries there), bell rang, we entered at A, then horse spied himself in the mirror running the length of the long side. Being a sociable creature he whinnied a 'hello' and turned his head to see if horse would respond back - this prompted laughter from the people seated in the gallery behind him. Horse spins 180 to glare at crowd - eye's popping out 'where did they come from?' then moon walks back towards C - (judge was furiously ringing the bell at this point). we did complete the test but it was interspersed with whinnies to new found friend in the mirror and snorts at the people who had the gall to laugh at him (it wasn't a high scoring test)

Brilliant

 

[Auslander]

Many many years ago. PC dressage on a rather opinionated little horse, who thought dressage was merely an interruption before the proper stuff. First test was ok, but when we tacked him up for the second test, he thought we were jumping, and got completely above himself. We trotted down the centre line, he said "Hang on a minute - MORE dressage? Dream on", then span, dropped his shoulder, decanted me, and cleared off out of the arena. Unfortunately, there were 4 other arenas between us and wherever he thought he'd rather be. He charged straight through the lot, bucking and squealing as he went, and was collared by the DC at the other end. I had to do the walk of shame past several furious PC mothers,and then collect him from the DC, who, to give her credit, was highly amused!

"I don't think you're going to make teams this year Dear" she said

 

[PaddyMonty]

Eliminated at fence 3 in SJ phase at BE90. Nothing very unusual about that you say except horse was my own grade B showjumper!

 

[Tonks]

BE event.......too concerned about making up time xc.....kicked on.....only to wonder where all the fences had gone?

I'd gone the wrong way, following a different roped off section that didn't have ANY fences in it at all.

Had to bloomin turn around gallop back to original fence [I got lost at] and follow the correct roped off area to the fences.......looked like I was out for a sunday stroll with my horse.

incurred about a zillion time penalites.