Child anxiety regarding cantering

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Blueysmum

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Looking for some advice

My dd9 has been riding since she was 4-5 years old. We own a pony she absolutely loves to pieces but unfortunately she learning to canter she had a fall and completely lost all confidence. She absolutely wants to carry on riding and has been having lessons for the last year but has not progresss past trotting.



She’s so desperate to learn to canter and everyone has said she’s ready. She’s a really good little rider but her anxiety keeps stopping her. It’s like a complete mental block and she can’t do it.



Iv never pushed her to ride but it’s something she absolutely loves and wants to progress to have fun. She wants to move up the class from the young group she’s in.


Is there any meds etc she can take to help with the anxiety? It’s so frustrating and upsetting for her :(
 
This was me, the RS I was at at the time had it as a sort of separate thing to only do in privates in a different area (as the arena had quite a lot of bricks) which didn't help and I had a total mental block about it, very much over thought it though my sitting trot got very good in the meantime. I'd have been 10/11 then, and I didn't totally resolve it for a couple of years.
My first attempt at canter was on a grass verge, pony stopped and put its head down and I carried on, and it sort of became a thing and I didn't have access to anywhere that made it super easy and not a thing.

It was actually mostly fixed out hacking on exmoor of all places, with a very kind ancient pony and an instructor who had taken me out a few times and could clearly see I would be ok and basically coached me all the way. Of note, I was then cantering in 2 point which got rid of all the previous drama I'd had about sitting. We didnt' even canter very far but I still remember how great I felt after and I'm 42 now 🤣. I think (in part as my riding opportunities were limited to hacking on holidays) I actually stuck with 2 point for a while.

This was followed up by elsewhere riding another pony in the school who genuinely had the most easy rocking horse canter.


So I guess I'm at not making it a big thing, but also assuming lessons are on your pony is your pony the best option to do the progress with or is there another ancient saint around that can hold her hand?
 
Essential oil of lavender will help her to relax.
Anxiety like that can form a vicious circle, the more cantering seems a big issue to her the more anxious and less relaxed she'll be. This probably isn't the best time of year to suggest this, but would it be worth seeing if she could canter out hacking rather than in a lesson?
 
This is really common, had it with kids I have taught with their own ponies and it can take a couple of years to overcome. If she has her own pony I would advise getting some individual lessons rather than group. If the pony is good on the lunge, I always teach children to canter on the lunge rather than roaming free. I teach them holding onto a neck strap at first so they have something that makes them feel more secure.

If the pony will tolerate, it can be quite effective to run alongside when cantering and gently hold one of your child's leg at the same time.

Lastly I would recommend she has a session on a mechanical horse. They are much less bouncy and may help her get over the idea of cantering as it is much easier to sit to, but she will get used to the rhythm of it.
 
Can you change something about the set-up to give her confidence that something is different to the last time she tried? Maybe try the lunge, an adult running with her, a neck strap, a fluffy seat saver or similar, so she can convenience herself that it’s going to be ok this time because of the ‘new thing’.

Another idea might be a pony that pops in a stride of canter between two little jumps (so that it just happens and you can make a big deal about it afterwards).

I definitely wouldn’t be going down the meds route, she needs to get there in her own time.

Also it goes without saying, make sure she tries on a pony that really will be safe!
 
I had this with my then 5 year old daughter and it was frustrating because she really wanted to do it but then when it came to doing it she just wouldnt do it as she really is scared of thinking she’s going to fall off.

what I did was put her in an inky dinky and convinced her she can’t fall off in one. Hey presto, she cantered and hasn’t looked back since. I let her do a couple weeks cantering in that and then reverted back to her normal saddle and all was good.
 
Blueysmum said:
Thank you, unfortunately her pony had to retired due to wobblers in Febuary last year :(

She has autism and I think the uncertainty of which pony she’s riding each week doesn’t help either. She has her fave two but if she’s out on one she isn’t sure about it doesn’t help :(
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In that case I would certainly try a couple of lessons on a mechanical horse - it will give her a similar feeling but without the unpredictability of not knowing which pony she will be getting
 
Hah. I had tons of anxiety around cantering as a kid, and I still do, at 42 f—-ing years old. The canters of my two horses, green/unbacked when I got them, remains very much a work-in-progress for this reason. Occasionally pisses me off but working very hard at developing my ‘who gives a sh1t’ attitude.

It’s like a sensory/physiological processing issue. I never feel in balance or happy in canter. Never have. On any horse. Not ever.

I wish I could tell you how to fix it. Maybe a better trainer than everyone I had. The usual 'man up' sort of trainer definitely didn't help. Maybe somone more focused on biomechanics would have done, if I'd met them at age 10. Mostly, I live with it and muddle along. Good luck explaining to any trainer, 'I just feel off and have done for the last 35 years.'
 
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A wonderful very experienced horse rider (competed extensively in her youth, had ran a riding school many years ago) told me that the old way to get confidence up was hacking on a safe horse/pony. Obviously you need school work first but then to hack and hack more and your confidence builds. Take little picnics with you, go on adventures. Our youngest daughter was nervous but this was the key for her. I don't know if this is possible but maybe in the better weather in the spring.

So sorry I have just read that her pony was retired. Would it be possible to share a pony locally to you, to take hacking? Just a thought. I think the different pony each week, is really hard when you are nervous - I appreciate you do not have a choice at the moment. x
 
Is falling off the big issue, or lack of brakes? Haven't come across the issue with my kids, but a livery's daughter wouldn't canter. We hacked out regularly, and mum would always walk with us. One day, I asked if she minded if I let Old Dobbin have his canter on a wide track, and mum said she would steady child's pony. Suddenly, pony appeared at my side, we both carried on in a steady canter, then I gave instructions for slowing to a trot, then a walk and we halted and waited for mum, who was in a flap. Child had a huge grin, and said that was epic! It turned out she didn't know how to stop.
 
Have private lessons so there is no peer pressure, then book a pony she feels comfortable on. There are a gazillion exercises to do in trot without having to canter and if the teacher is pushy change teacher.
 
Blueysmum said:
I think the uncertainty of which pony she’s riding each week doesn’t help either. She has her fave two but if she’s out on one she isn’t sure about it doesn’t help :(
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I think this might be your issue, I would only have private lessons on preferred pony until she is confidently cantering (and stopping safely)
 
Totally left field, but at my RS, for adults, they often used the vaulting horse with the vaulting handles to teach canter. Horse is on a lunge line and controlled by the instructor. The rider has two great big solid handles to hold on to and they are sat on a large saddle pad, so no slippy saddle that doesn't fit the rider or stirrups to lose. The vaulting horse is also incredibly comfortable in all three paces, which helps. When tiny riders used to do a bit of vaulting at higher speed, I would sit in front of the handles, facing backwards, and steady them, which could be used to give confidence in canter. I suppose someone could also sit behind the child to steady them if necessary.
You would obviously need somewhere with a vaulting trained horse for this, but felt the need to share the random idea that popped in my head.
 
I used to hack out with my children and I was in front the emergency brake. I think its easier for it to come naturally out on a hack, because the pony will canter to catch up with the others, so no worry about making the pony canter. and if you pick straight track the pony and child do not have to cope with corners. We had a track with hedges either side, if they wanted to stop they just shouted. Then we graduated to a track along the side of a field.
My daughter fell off and broke her arm twice two summer running, so she was extremely nervous. She was tall for her age, and at eight she stated riiding her sisters 14.2 cob type, and I think the size made her feel more stable, plus he was push button.
 
sollimum said:
Obviously you need school work first but then to hack and hack more and your confidence builds.
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I didnt get anywhere with a mechanical horse. But I did eventually learn to canter out hacking, on a private escorted hack and though not everyone here agrees, the RS which taught me to canter did it out hacking and going up a slight slope.
 
Get someone else to ride the pony if your own. You can become a feedback loop. Its hard to have the muscles to ride efficiently at a young age unless they are riding 3-4 times a week unfortunately so might be part of the problem! Second the easiest place for horse and rider to canter is up a hill on a hack (straight line). if in riding school, more lessons a week on a school master is the way to go, take pressure off it and do some dressage to engage their brain - private lessons are the way to go group ones were boring to death- no progress at all years going round in circle ! Riding is expensive. meds are not the way to go she needs more exposure 1 lesson a week is not enough to build muscle and progress.
 
Highmileagecob said:
Is falling off the big issue, or lack of brakes? Haven't come across the issue with my kids, but a livery's daughter wouldn't canter. We hacked out regularly, and mum would always walk with us. One day, I asked if she minded if I let Old Dobbin have his canter on a wide track, and mum said she would steady child's pony. Suddenly, pony appeared at my side, we both carried on in a steady canter, then I gave instructions for slowing to a trot, then a walk and we halted and waited for mum, who was in a flap. Child had a huge grin, and said that was epic! It turned out she didn't know how to stop.
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The having the someone right next to you talking you through it makes a big difference
 
Titchy Pony said:
Totally left field, but at my RS, for adults, they often used the vaulting horse with the vaulting handles to teach canter. Horse is on a lunge line and controlled by the instructor. The rider has two great big solid handles to hold on to and they are sat on a large saddle pad, so no slippy saddle that doesn't fit the rider or stirrups to lose. The vaulting horse is also incredibly comfortable in all three paces, which helps. When tiny riders used to do a bit of vaulting at higher speed, I would sit in front of the handles, facing backwards, and steady them, which could be used to give confidence in canter. I suppose someone could also sit behind the child to steady them if necessary.
You would obviously need somewhere with a vaulting trained horse for this, but felt the need to share the random idea that popped in my head.
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This sounds epic.

I think something beautifully trained on a lunge line is a good shout anyway, as I imagine the vaulting set up will be hard to come by.
 
Jenko109 said:
This sounds epic.

I think something beautifully trained on a lunge line is a good shout anyway, as I imagine the vaulting set up will be hard to come by.
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It is rather fun. I've only ever dabbled in vaulting, but I did help out quite a bit for the kids classes (generally only really a school holiday special). The kids got to "ride" a bigger horse safely, find their balance in different positions, etc (I personally experienced the effects of centrifuge force when trying out around the world at the canter! it certainly reminds you why you go one way and not the other and to change your hands before swinging your leg around!). I was in charge of throwing the kids up on the horse and would walk beside them at a walk, for trot and canter, I helped them from on the horse, as I couldn't run and balance them easily! Weight wise, this was fine for the horse as I am rather petite and these were young kids (under 10 yo) so still small.
Several of the vaulting horses were really good and did a sort of jog with no suspension time for the smallest or unbalanced riders. They would then trot normally for more balanced riders.
 
starbucker said:
unless they are riding 3-4 times a week unfortunately so might be part of the problem!
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This too. when I was determined to canter, I increased my hacks to 3 and sometimes 4 times a week in order to do this. But I was myself always crooked. It took me ages to be able to canter round a left bend. My lesson RI told me to imagine an elastic running from my right shoulder to my left knee and to picture myself stretching that.
 
Skib said:
the RS which taught me to canter did it out hacking and going up a slight slope.
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I still think this is the best way to canter if you're nervous. To be honest, it's still my favourite way to canter full stop - a good blast up a long slow hill! You can be 100% certain they will eventually stop regardless of your own ineptitude 😆 Cantering in circles - even big circles - is so much harder.
 
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I've found now my kids have grown and I can look.back at all the anxieties etc (the frustrating swimming lessons when my son dithered at the side of the pool and would not get in for the full 30 minutes. He went home bone dry 🤣), that most things sort themselves out in time and if you just relax and take the pressure off, you get the result at some point.
Don't worry about what everyone else is doing, maybe just really enjoy the trot. Do other things in walk and trot, make up games and keep it all fun. Canter will probably come naturally when either of you are least expecting it.
I bet she'll have a fantastic seat from all the trot work and excellent balance and control. Give her tons of praise and don't even mention the C word.
I wish I could go back in time and take away all the pressure I put on my kids to hit certain benchmarks. They got to exactly where they needed to be in the end.
Just my experience. You sound like a wonderful, caring parent. I bet in a year or two's time you'll be posting asking for advice on how to slow her down!! All the best xx
 
oh swimming, it took me way longer to swim a length than it should have done, I was perfectly competent, on that occasion my mum bribed me 🤣. Though as I said to her over christmas I think she diddled me cos I'm pretty sure the first promise chocolate from the machine and that somehow morphed into a backpack for school 🤣
 
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