Child in my pasture- WWYD?

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YellowBoots

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The last few days my horses have come in warm and a little sweaty from the pasture. I figured that it was just due to the weather (We're finally getting some sun ) Today I had an unexpected day off work and got to see what was going on.

I heard them running at about 9 this morning, and went over the the pasture to have a look. It's on the side of my farm, and has electric fencing plus a decent sized hedge. There was a child in my pasture, waving a big stick at my horses and making them run. Needless to say, I told her off, escorted her from my land and told her not to come back. She called me a few not so nice names, and said 'They like me. They won't hurt me.' Uh, yeah, right.

I went out twenty mins ago to bring Rue in, and she's there again, though this time she was just wandering about. Again, told her off, and escorted her from the farm. I have a sneaky feeling that she'll be back. I'm scared stiff that she's going to get kicked or hurt one of the horses. I think she's about 11/12. Any ideas? I've no idea who she is or I'd phone her family and tell them what she's up to.
 
If it was term time I'd say contact the local school and explain that you are concerned about the child's safety, they would take a description of the child, work out who it is and warn them. I'm a teacher and people come in for concerns about children quite often. Its more complicated in the holidays but there will probably still be secretaries there who could help you.

Failing that call the police, child sounds like a little brat that needs a shock from someone they might listen to.
 
Ill lend you my little Inky for a day, he eats them whole
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I had this years ago with some kids riding my yearling! I nearly died when i caught them! Marched them round to their parents!
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I didnt have a go at the children or parents as they really had no idea what they were doing and the possible consequences. I just calmly explained and asked the parents to have a long talk with their children.

Maybe with this girl you could say if you want to come and brush them you are welcome but i need to meet your parents first. Strike up a conversation and win her trust. She may have a real issue with adults. Sometimes kids just desperately want to be with animals and if you train them well and treat them with respect they can be a real bonus.

Sorry i really enjoy turning round screwed up kids!
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How worrying. If I caught her again I'd escort her home (give her a lift?) and have a word with her parents, really laying on your concern for little girl's welfare. Girl will hopefully be ashamed that parents know and with any luck will tell her off, and parents have been warned.

I'd also look into the possibility of putting up no trespassing & danger elec fence signs, no telling if little madam's parents might want to sue should the worst happen
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Our neighbour befriended a child who had moved into the hamlet, let her 'help' with the horse and the poultry, this has now got out of hand, with the child (about 11) coming into the field with her little sister (about 5). The neighbour came home one evening, a little later than usual, to discover that this child had taken it upon herself to come across and deal with the animals, and then tell neighbour that she was late! The parents are well aware of the child's actions. The neighbour has since had to have strong words with the child, hopefully the child has now learnt.
 
I'm shocked people are suggesting you follow her home or give her a lift, or 'befriend' her! She's not afraid to call you names then she wouldnt be afriad to tell mummy and daddy that you did something to her. Even if she didnt, we teach kids to NOT get into cars with strangers... following her home might just land you in a spot of bother with the police or her family (she doesnt sound like a child bought up in a nice household).

I would simply call the police and and tell them there is a kid who keeps coming round and trespassing.
 
OMG- your poor horses.
I'm really not a kid person. If I found some brat chasing my horse around with a stick I would want to kick her in the head my self never mind my horse kicking her!

I would definatly follow her home and advise her parents that if she comes near again you will prosicute, also very strong electric fencing that is narrow vertically so she cant get in.

Also would put signs up, as Naturally says, and let police know. Also keep a log of when she is there and what you have done about it incase anything happens.
 
No it sounds like a child who has no respect for adults actually Charlie. Because, probably, no adults have ever had any respect for her. She has learnt to react with abuse as a way to protect herself. Treat her with a modicom of intelligence and respect and you will win her trust. Then you can contact her parents. Until you win her trust you havent got a cat in hells chance of finding out where she is from. The best way to deal with kids like this is to make them feel valued and respected.

Why get the police involved? It will just make her further distrust adults.
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And FWIW I have turned around the most difficult children so I do know what I'm talking about.
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Really, there's no need to get shirty, this wasnt a personal dig at you, and I cannot even see where your name was mentioned
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There's plently of kids who might name call but then come from perfectly fine homes. A little lad I know will give an adult a mouthful of cheek, but his parents are lovely people.

I just do not see that following a CHILD home or giving a STRANGE CHILD a lift home is actually the way foward. In fact, I find it rather creepy that any adult would even THINK about following a CHILD home. All kids are capable of being mischevious or getting into trouble. Wether they come from nice homes or not. To assume that a child who calls an adult names is therefore suffering abuse at home is rather melodramatic IMHO.

If this was my child, YES I would want to know, BUT I would be creeped out if an adult followed them home or encouraged them to get into a car with them. Actually, I would be angry if a strange adult encouraged them to get into a car with them... would much rather that the child was sent on their way with a flea in their ear, and if the person didnt know who I was then they contacted the police, and I would welcome the police through my door to speak to my child and tell them the dangers of what they have been doing.
 
Ask in any local shop etc, if anyone knows who she is or where she comes from,or anyone else had animals chased.
Even if you are CRB checked, befriending might come back at you! Sad as it is, thats the risk you take,
 
With charlie on this one!
Todays society is not as accepting as it once was and any adult that talks to a child that they do not know risks finding themselves in hot water.
I have been in a situation where a perfectly innocent situation was misread and got out of hand resulting in a person almost being wrongly charged.
 
Have you actually asked the child WHAT they are doing? i would if a youngidh child. I would skk them whyn they were behaving like this at first and eplain it was dangerous in the first instance. Explain it would be safer to say 'hello' to the horses over the fence ans that waving a stick at them is in fact scaring them and could cause her to get hurt. If she did not listen then yes, maybe talk to the parents and then, as a last resort the police if you felt it was a serious issue. The last thing you want is a child being injured or worse by your horse and YOU being blamed!

I know I would be livid is this were mine and I have run after a lad I saw doing the same to my horses - he turned out to be a young farm hand crossing our land and thenhorses were hassling him but still he should not have been wiedling a large stick and really he should not have been crossing my land. Yes he was not intending on doing harm but i was not to know!
 
I completely agree with doziesmummy. You need to gain her trust and explain to her why what she is doing is not a good idea. Perhaps explaining to her why it upsets the animals may appeal to her as she does sound like she wants to be near them. Seeing as she is young and comes over often she can't live that far away so should be easy to track down, but personally I don't see anything inappropriate in asking her to take you to her parents. Any reasonable parent would be relieved you went out of your way to ensure their daughter was not hurt.
 
oh, so you'd quite happily allow a perfect stranger to befriend your child and give them lifts in their car behind your back???
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It may be quite innocent to the adult involved, but to a parent it would not initially appear that way.

At best you can expect someone thinking you're a wierdo, at worst an irate parent coming down and bopping you on the nose...
 
Why should Alittlemonster have to befriend a random child to remove the child from her land!

She has parents that are there to look after her.
 
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Have you actually asked the child WHAT they are doing? i would if a youngish child. I would ask them when they were behaving like this at first and explain it was dangerous in the first instance. Explain it would be safer to say 'hello' to the horses over the fence ans that waving a stick at them is in fact scaring them and could cause her to get hurt. If she did not listen then yes, maybe talk to the parents and then, as a last resort the police if you felt it was a serious issue.

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I think this is as best it could be put. She probably thinks she is "lunging" them or pretending to be an instructor etc... Worth a go to see if you can get her to understand why her actions upset the horses and could result in her getting hurt, and make it clear what is an acceptable way of approaching the horses i.e. offer flat hand over the fence, no treats because that causes them to bite... she might well go for that.

Difficult one to know what to do for the best without getting yourself into trouble, isn't it. Hope you manage to resolve it. Maybe one way of sorting it if above didn't work would be to call police if you see her again and say to them "look, I'm concerned that this kid is going to get hurt and so are my animals, I would like to go to speak to her parents but that would involve X and I don't want to get myself into a difficult situation of being accused of inapropriate behaviour towards a minor, what would you suggest I do?"
 
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Why should Alittlemonster have to befriend a random child to remove the child from her land!

She has parents that are there to look after her.

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I never said she should ... LOL she suggested that she would!
 
Unfortunately your attitude to responsible adults protecting "your" child on "your" behalf causes most responsible adults to turn a blind eye (because they are worried about the repurcussions,) and not protect "your" child.

"Your " choice.

As for the parent thinking i'm a weirdo...dont give a damn so long as the child is safe. Bopping me on the nose...assault...
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Got to be worth 2 grand!
 
I once saw a little boy, about 10, sitting on a wall in the middle of a busy street in London crying. Loads of people seemed to just walk past and he was all alone. I stopped and chatted to him, he had had a fight with his mum and run off (not really run off properly, he only lived a couple of streets away, more like stormed off). I persuaded him to go home and walked with him. His mum was very happy when we got home. I would have thought it really, really bizare if she was upset with me for talking to her child and brining him home!!!
 
Look, I'm sorry you're taking this so personally, and sorry you cannot see when someone is just offering you a different point of view on the matter. Clearly, you know best when it comes to other people's children.

There was nothing in the OP to suggest the child needed 'befriending' and I can't understand why some people immediately think that a child misbehaving is from a bad home?

at the end of the day different people will look upon things in different ways. Different parents will view things differently. MY children don't come from a bad home, and I would not thank someone for suggesting that they did and 'befriending' them behind my back.

You befriend a strange child, give them lifts in your car then sue the parents when they get a bit angry about it...

what a pillar of society
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Most people would report the matter to the police, speak to local shopkeepers, neighbours etc and ask where the child comes from, and either suggest someone who knows the parents has a word, or keep an eye from a distance. Not wade in with size 9's, following the child home thinking they're being some kind of social worker...

"my" choice would be for the adult to speak to me OR the police NOT to have some stranger follow my kid home.
 
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I once saw a little boy, about 10, sitting on a wall in the middle of a busy street in London crying. Loads of people seemed to just walk past and he was all alone. I stopped and chatted to him, he had had a fight with his mum and run off (not really run off properly, he only lived a couple of streets away, more like stormed off). I persuaded him to go home and walked with him. His mum was very happy when we got home. I would have thought it really, really bizare if she was upset with me for talking to her child and brining him home!!!

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Which is nice but irrelevant. I have done similar things but there is a world of diffence between helping a child in trouble and this situation.

The child has been asked to leave twice and has been abusive. If some people want to turn round other peoples' problem children that's admirable, but unless she is so inclined, I see no reason why Alittlemonster should waste any more time on this than is necessary, and that includes wasting time trying to find where the child lives etc. I'd go to the police, partly to cover my back, but also because they will tell you what is and is not legal / possible / acceptable.
 
Charlie, in all fairness I think you are picking a fight with dozziesmummy - now come on, live and let live!!
 
That's a bit unfair!

How can having a conversation with someone (and explaining to them that my comments were NOT personal..) be picking a fight with them?
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Has this place really turned into a place of fluffy bunny huggers where reasonable debate, offering different points of view etc is classed as picking a fight? LOL That really is the funniest thing i've heard all week!
 
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Look, I'm sorry you're taking this so personally, and sorry you cannot see when someone is just offering you a different point of view on the matter. Clearly, you know best when it comes to other people's children.
There was nothing in the OP to suggest the child needed 'befriending' and I can't understand why some people immediately think that a child misbehaving is from a bad home?

at the end of the day different people will look upon things in different ways. Different parents will view things differently. MY children don't come from a bad home, and I would not thank someone for suggesting that they did and 'befriending' them behind my back.

You befriend a strange child, give them lifts in your car then sue the parents when they get a bit angry about it... what a pillar of society
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Most people would report the matter to the police, speak to local shopkeepers, neighbours etc and ask where the child comes from, and either suggest someone who knows the parents has a word, or keep an eye from a distance. Not wade in with size 9's, following the child home thinking they're being some kind of social worker...
"my" choice would be for the adult to speak to me OR the police NOT to have some stranger follow my kid home.

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Now to me, those sound bitchy
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yes, in response to Doziemummy's post (where MY attitude apparently cause adults to ignore abused children despite my previous post explaining i WASNT getting personal... go back and read it). I made a simple observation and as always someone has think others are criticising them personally.. hence my remark about not getting shirty.. It isnt rocket science... It would seem YOU are the one trying to turn this around... and trying to pick a fight here.

I am interested in the original topic, and of different people's viewpoints on the topic, just not of you trying to claim I'm being a bitch.. so go play by yourself.
 
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