piebaldsparkle
Well-Known Member
PMSL @ _Charlie_'s idea of a debate......................
Child in my pasture- WWYD?
- Thread starter YellowBoots
- Start date
JaneMBE
Well-Known Member
I have (had) a similar problem, with kids (I assumed) going in field and grooming my horses, bought their own kit! They also tied them up, gave them hay etc.
As I couldn't watch for 24 hours, I put signs up, stating that police and wardens were aware and field being monitored, and also stated that horses can become stressed/poorly etc.
Touch wood, no sign of them again.
There were two girls hanging about one evening, could see them down bottom of field, waiting for us to go. We didn't, just pretended we had, and then they were seen to attempt to enter field.
At this point, rather than me going down (with sirens blaring and a hot head lol) my daughter went down, and spent a while chatting with them and asking what they were doing etc.
She told them about how dangerous it could be, how horses may get stressed/angry etc. Seems to have worked, the girls were a dit dim really and didn't understand.
So, maybe if if you have a younger person about same age, who could have a chat, this girl may listen?
I certainly wouldn't offer a lift home, but would, if necessary follow to see where she lived, don't see a problem with that, parents ought to know about the dangerous situation the girl is putting herself in, who's to say that event the most mild mannered horse won't turn and boot her?
As I couldn't watch for 24 hours, I put signs up, stating that police and wardens were aware and field being monitored, and also stated that horses can become stressed/poorly etc.
Touch wood, no sign of them again.
There were two girls hanging about one evening, could see them down bottom of field, waiting for us to go. We didn't, just pretended we had, and then they were seen to attempt to enter field.
At this point, rather than me going down (with sirens blaring and a hot head lol) my daughter went down, and spent a while chatting with them and asking what they were doing etc.
She told them about how dangerous it could be, how horses may get stressed/angry etc. Seems to have worked, the girls were a dit dim really and didn't understand.
So, maybe if if you have a younger person about same age, who could have a chat, this girl may listen?
I certainly wouldn't offer a lift home, but would, if necessary follow to see where she lived, don't see a problem with that, parents ought to know about the dangerous situation the girl is putting herself in, who's to say that event the most mild mannered horse won't turn and boot her?
ISHmad
Well-Known Member
Child or adult I'd be livid if someone was chasing my horses round with sticks. I'd be wanting to put an end to these unexpected and unwanted visits. Would agree that if possible make enquiries to try to establish her identity and then talk to her with her parents. Definitely wouldn't be giving her lifts or anything without her parents' knowledge. In this day and age it will probably be the OP who ends up in the wrong...
BlackDiamond
Well-Known Member
I used to do similar things when I was a child, not through being nasty or evil or through coming from a deprived home (LMFAO @ that one) all I needed was a strong word and the threat my my parents knowing and I was gone like a shot!!!
Rightly or wrongly it simply is not safe for people to befriend random kids, or give them lifts - sorry but we are a product of our own society! DM's suggestions are adminrable and no doubt 9/10 the parents would be thankful and reasonable...but DM jesus what would you do if something terrible happened and the kid made some lie up about you or something - that kind of thing could ruin your life - do you not understand where everyone elses fear comes from with this approach?
Rightly or wrongly it simply is not safe for people to befriend random kids, or give them lifts - sorry but we are a product of our own society! DM's suggestions are adminrable and no doubt 9/10 the parents would be thankful and reasonable...but DM jesus what would you do if something terrible happened and the kid made some lie up about you or something - that kind of thing could ruin your life - do you not understand where everyone elses fear comes from with this approach?
Spyda
Well-Known Member
Difficult suitation potentially. I'd put up some clear & simple signs so at least no one can say you have not warned people from entering your pasture. However, not everyone reads and, some of those who do, still wont read or take notice of your signage. But it's better to have them, than not to. At least you've been as responsible as you can be at warning people off.
Since you have met up with this young lady on a couple of occasions already and had less than pleasant interactions, it might be a little awkward for you to suddenly befriend her. She's probably already formed the opinion that she's 'doing no harm' and that you are the 'snotty' horse owner. (I hasten to add, this is NOT my opinion
Just trying to think like an 11/12 year old would, who's been warned off. They are not the most reasonable species at that age.)
So, what to do? If there are houses/shops nearby I might ask around and see if anyone recognises her description. It would be useful to know who she is, even if you do not need to use the information at this stage. If anyone over looks your pasture maybe someone helpful could phone you/text you if they see her in with your horses. If you turn up to ask her to leave everytime she arrives she may decide it's no longer worth the bother. Of course, if you work this is going to be difficult. Make it known in the neighbourhood that you do not want children in your pasture because of the very real safety issues. If others see her in there they might ask to leave if they know you do not want anyone in there. She might not leave if someone else asks her but again if she gets hassled everytime she goes up there she might get fed up with it.
I presume this is a new phenomenon? Wonder why she is suddenly doing this? Why is she always on her own? Maybe she's new to area. If you were able to establish who she is it would be possible for you to write a short note to her (via school or her home address) asking her politely to stop and explaining why you are concerned for her welfare. I'd keep a copy.
I would contact your insurance company (who provide your third party cover) and ask for their advice in protecting yourself. I'd also go to the Police Station in person and ask for their advice. I would not give them the girl's name (even if I knew it at this stage) but just ask them what you can legally do in a situation like this. This will also lodge your concerns with them prior to anything adverse happening further down the line - God forbid.
If at any point she got nasty and threatened to harm your horses when you were not there, then obviously contact the Police and your insurance company immediately.
It's a tough one, especially with the summer holidays starting next week. Hopefully she'll get bored and find herself something better to do. Hope so.
Since you have met up with this young lady on a couple of occasions already and had less than pleasant interactions, it might be a little awkward for you to suddenly befriend her. She's probably already formed the opinion that she's 'doing no harm' and that you are the 'snotty' horse owner. (I hasten to add, this is NOT my opinion
So, what to do? If there are houses/shops nearby I might ask around and see if anyone recognises her description. It would be useful to know who she is, even if you do not need to use the information at this stage. If anyone over looks your pasture maybe someone helpful could phone you/text you if they see her in with your horses. If you turn up to ask her to leave everytime she arrives she may decide it's no longer worth the bother. Of course, if you work this is going to be difficult. Make it known in the neighbourhood that you do not want children in your pasture because of the very real safety issues. If others see her in there they might ask to leave if they know you do not want anyone in there. She might not leave if someone else asks her but again if she gets hassled everytime she goes up there she might get fed up with it.
I presume this is a new phenomenon? Wonder why she is suddenly doing this? Why is she always on her own? Maybe she's new to area. If you were able to establish who she is it would be possible for you to write a short note to her (via school or her home address) asking her politely to stop and explaining why you are concerned for her welfare. I'd keep a copy.
I would contact your insurance company (who provide your third party cover) and ask for their advice in protecting yourself. I'd also go to the Police Station in person and ask for their advice. I would not give them the girl's name (even if I knew it at this stage) but just ask them what you can legally do in a situation like this. This will also lodge your concerns with them prior to anything adverse happening further down the line - God forbid.
If at any point she got nasty and threatened to harm your horses when you were not there, then obviously contact the Police and your insurance company immediately.
It's a tough one, especially with the summer holidays starting next week. Hopefully she'll get bored and find herself something better to do. Hope so.
dozzie
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Clearly, you know best when it comes to other people's children.
[/ QUOTE ]
I find that comment insulting.
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There was nothing in the OP to suggest the child needed 'befriending' and I can't understand why some people immediately think that a child misbehaving is from a bad home?
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If that was directed at me, when did I say she came from a bad home?
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You befriend a strange child, give them lifts in your car then sue the parents when they get a bit angry about it...
what a pillar of society
[/ QUOTE ]
I find that insulting to.
If someone punched me in the face then yes I would take action. But if my child was up to no good out of my sight, which children do because they are children, I would hope that a responsible adult would either inform me or bring the child home.
I dont think anyone meant befriending the child in a longterm manner and giving her lifts everywhere. The child gave the OP a lot of abuse. Thus it would seem she has little respect for adults in authority. In order to find out where she lives and contact the parents the OP has to gain some respect. If she is local, walk her home, if not phone her parents to come an collect her.
[ QUOTE ]
Most people would report the matter to the police, speak to local shopkeepers, neighbours etc and ask where the child comes from, and either suggest someone who knows the parents has a word, or keep an eye from a distance.
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That is ok if you have local shops and loads of neighbours.
[ QUOTE ]
Not wade in with size 9's, following the child home thinking they're being some kind of social worker...
[/ QUOTE ]
No-one has said they would do anything like this. All everyone has said is gain the childs trust so you can find out where she is from and then speak to the parents.
If it was my child putting themselves at risk then I would want a responsible adult to take action on my behalf and if that meant putting them in the car and bringing them home then I wouldnt think that weird and I certainly wouldnt punch them.
I am obviously a wierdo.
But if you say all parents think that, then next time I see a child playing chicken across a busy main road, I will just call the police and hope they get there before the child is killed.
OK?
Clearly, you know best when it comes to other people's children.
[/ QUOTE ]
I find that comment insulting.
[ QUOTE ]
There was nothing in the OP to suggest the child needed 'befriending' and I can't understand why some people immediately think that a child misbehaving is from a bad home?
[/ QUOTE ]
If that was directed at me, when did I say she came from a bad home?
[ QUOTE ]
You befriend a strange child, give them lifts in your car then sue the parents when they get a bit angry about it...
what a pillar of society
[/ QUOTE ]
I find that insulting to.
If someone punched me in the face then yes I would take action. But if my child was up to no good out of my sight, which children do because they are children, I would hope that a responsible adult would either inform me or bring the child home.
I dont think anyone meant befriending the child in a longterm manner and giving her lifts everywhere. The child gave the OP a lot of abuse. Thus it would seem she has little respect for adults in authority. In order to find out where she lives and contact the parents the OP has to gain some respect. If she is local, walk her home, if not phone her parents to come an collect her.
[ QUOTE ]
Most people would report the matter to the police, speak to local shopkeepers, neighbours etc and ask where the child comes from, and either suggest someone who knows the parents has a word, or keep an eye from a distance.
[/ QUOTE ]
That is ok if you have local shops and loads of neighbours.
[ QUOTE ]
Not wade in with size 9's, following the child home thinking they're being some kind of social worker...
[/ QUOTE ]
No-one has said they would do anything like this. All everyone has said is gain the childs trust so you can find out where she is from and then speak to the parents.
If it was my child putting themselves at risk then I would want a responsible adult to take action on my behalf and if that meant putting them in the car and bringing them home then I wouldnt think that weird and I certainly wouldnt punch them.
I am obviously a wierdo.
But if you say all parents think that, then next time I see a child playing chicken across a busy main road, I will just call the police and hope they get there before the child is killed.
OK?
Zoobie
Well-Known Member
Putting notices up is a good idea assuming the child can read
niagaraduval
Well-Known Member
GAHHHHHH i hate the little b*ggers grrr.. they are always running round my pasture, they open the gate (it opens onto a road) i have told them several times not to touch the horses they keep coming back!! Sometimes i wish my horse wasn't so friendly with children... grrrr... This annoys me so much..
Natch
Well-Known Member
niagaraduval - in your situation, padlock and chain for your gate maybe?
Booboos
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Which is nice but irrelevant. I have done similar things but there is a world of diffence between helping a child in trouble and this situation.
[/ QUOTE ]
Well perhaps I did not make myself clear. This child is in trouble, she is at risk of being hurt by the horses. If the purpose of walking home with the child is to tell the parents she is in trouble, something they are not likely to be aware of, I would expect them to be grateful rather than suspicious. Talking to the police is another way of alerting the parents to the problem, to my mind it seems a bit OTT, given the option of talking to them directly. So my comment was specifically related to comments which seemed to suggest that one should not befriend, walk home or drive home a child under any circumstances.
Which is nice but irrelevant. I have done similar things but there is a world of diffence between helping a child in trouble and this situation.
[/ QUOTE ]
Well perhaps I did not make myself clear. This child is in trouble, she is at risk of being hurt by the horses. If the purpose of walking home with the child is to tell the parents she is in trouble, something they are not likely to be aware of, I would expect them to be grateful rather than suspicious. Talking to the police is another way of alerting the parents to the problem, to my mind it seems a bit OTT, given the option of talking to them directly. So my comment was specifically related to comments which seemed to suggest that one should not befriend, walk home or drive home a child under any circumstances.
itsme123
Well-Known Member
I'm sorry yu seem to find most of my post 'insulting'.
Maybe it's rather 'insulting' to assume a child doesnt trust adults or comes from a bad background simply because they happen to be 'gobby'?
If I saw a child playing chicken in the road, yes I would STOP them. No-one suggested otherwise. Getting yourself involved in a child's life and following them home is another thing altogether!
If you don't like people disagreeing with your POV or offering their thoughts on your POV then why post them on a forum?
Maybe it's rather 'insulting' to assume a child doesnt trust adults or comes from a bad background simply because they happen to be 'gobby'?
If I saw a child playing chicken in the road, yes I would STOP them. No-one suggested otherwise. Getting yourself involved in a child's life and following them home is another thing altogether!
If you don't like people disagreeing with your POV or offering their thoughts on your POV then why post them on a forum?
dozzie
Well-Known Member
I didnt say the child came from a bad home background. You assumed that is what I meant.
Yes I do find your comments insulting.
[ QUOTE ]
If you don't like people disagreeing with your POV or offering their thoughts on your POV then why post them on a forum?
[/ QUOTE ]
PMSL! Same old...same old...
I dont mind people disagreeing with me at all. It is clear that some people on here are of a similar opinion and others disagree. I dont have a problem with that at all.
It is not the first time you have launched an attack at me Katy. Are you trying to bully me into leaving?
But I will not get into further arguments with you on this thread as it is not helping the OP.
Yes I do find your comments insulting.
[ QUOTE ]
If you don't like people disagreeing with your POV or offering their thoughts on your POV then why post them on a forum?
[/ QUOTE ]
PMSL! Same old...same old...
I dont mind people disagreeing with me at all. It is clear that some people on here are of a similar opinion and others disagree. I dont have a problem with that at all.
It is not the first time you have launched an attack at me Katy. Are you trying to bully me into leaving?
But I will not get into further arguments with you on this thread as it is not helping the OP.
mystiandsunny
Well-Known Member
Take a good photo of the child and take it to the police station, explaining your concern for its welfare and that it is trespassing on your land, potentially harming your horses.
rotters13
Well-Known Member
Put up a sign saying;
These horses WILL bite!
Worth a try!
These horses WILL bite!
Worth a try!
DipseyDeb
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I'm shocked people are suggesting you follow her home or give her a lift, or 'befriend' her! She's not afraid to call you names then she wouldnt be afriad to tell mummy and daddy that you did something to her. Even if she didnt, we teach kids to NOT get into cars with strangers... following her home might just land you in a spot of bother with the police or her family (she doesnt sound like a child bought up in a nice household).
I would simply call the police and and tell them there is a kid who keeps coming round and trespassing.
[/ QUOTE ]
Agree with above, the thing is, tresspassing is a civil offence, so the police wont be able to do anything about that, I would certainly put warning signs up, to cover your back. Speak to your local social services to get the best advise as to what to do next. I would also let the child know that you have done this! Good luck!!
I'm shocked people are suggesting you follow her home or give her a lift, or 'befriend' her! She's not afraid to call you names then she wouldnt be afriad to tell mummy and daddy that you did something to her. Even if she didnt, we teach kids to NOT get into cars with strangers... following her home might just land you in a spot of bother with the police or her family (she doesnt sound like a child bought up in a nice household).
I would simply call the police and and tell them there is a kid who keeps coming round and trespassing.
[/ QUOTE ]
Agree with above, the thing is, tresspassing is a civil offence, so the police wont be able to do anything about that, I would certainly put warning signs up, to cover your back. Speak to your local social services to get the best advise as to what to do next. I would also let the child know that you have done this! Good luck!!
dieseldog
Well-Known Member
If you see her again tell her that the horses are ill and are not allowed to run around as they might die. Does she want to kill them?
That usually works
That usually works
S_N
Well-Known Member
With regards to putting up signs saying 'horses bite/kick etc...' you can actually open up a whole new can of worms by doing this, as if someone is injured they can tuen your knowledge of the 'dangerous' horses on your head in a court of law - trespassing or otherwise.
Regarding the heated spat about being friendly and following the child home. Whilst there are obvious dnagers to this approach, thanks to modern day society, can you tell me how else the OP is to ascertain where this child is from?
Taking photos of a minor is not a good idea either!! Not worth risking!
Regarding the heated spat about being friendly and following the child home. Whilst there are obvious dnagers to this approach, thanks to modern day society, can you tell me how else the OP is to ascertain where this child is from?
Taking photos of a minor is not a good idea either!! Not worth risking!
itsme123
Well-Known Member
tell me , WHY on earth would I want to bully you???
I'm sorry, this WILL come across as bitchy, but I find that a rather pathetic reaction to what essentially was just someone disagreeing with you.
YOU were the one who took the hump in the first instance (remember the little angry smilie??)
If I have an opinion, I will voice it, not pussy foot around incase someone's going to accuse me of bullying them! Sorry if I have disagreed with you before (oh, sorry, 'launched an attack'
)
I am actually VERY insulted that you have accused me of trying to bully you from the forum, and hope you will back up this accusation with some proof? I only remember one instance before where I have disagreed with something you've said. To accuse me of BULLYING you is rather serious...
I'm sorry, this WILL come across as bitchy, but I find that a rather pathetic reaction to what essentially was just someone disagreeing with you.
YOU were the one who took the hump in the first instance (remember the little angry smilie??)
If I have an opinion, I will voice it, not pussy foot around incase someone's going to accuse me of bullying them! Sorry if I have disagreed with you before (oh, sorry, 'launched an attack'
I am actually VERY insulted that you have accused me of trying to bully you from the forum, and hope you will back up this accusation with some proof? I only remember one instance before where I have disagreed with something you've said. To accuse me of BULLYING you is rather serious...
WoopsiiD
Well-Known Member
......just shoot the child-end of
n.b-the above suggestion IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. The shooting of a minor is in fact a very serious criminal offence and can result in the incarceration of the shooter for a long time at her majestys pleasure.
n.b-the above suggestion IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. The shooting of a minor is in fact a very serious criminal offence and can result in the incarceration of the shooter for a long time at her majestys pleasure.
bensababy
Well-Known Member
QR - Agree with Charlie in the fact that i really wouldnt suggest following this kid. In this day and age you will get accused of being a kiddie snatcher/stalker. I would call the police to deal with it. Or failing that a air rifle