Child present for pony pts??

Personally I saw small animals PTS from the age of around 8 I guess and dead/dying human relatives from 13ish. The ones I feel worst about are the ones I missed being with.

If you could protect your daughter from loosing her pony that would be amazing. But none of us have immortal equines. Given that I'd think she should have the option.

As long as you make it clear to her that some people like to see and some don't and that both are fine she should be as OK as can be.

We all react differently to different bereavements. Good luck.
 
I'm 27 and have had 3 horses pts and been present each time. I wouldnt have been anywere else!

I had seen small animals pts from about 8 too, with my hamster, then rabbits, dogs etc

First horse I was 15, and he was pts by injection. Unfortuntly it wasnt easy for horse or us, as he was chronicly vet phobic, so took a lot of sedation and faught the whole process, but he was crippled, literally on 3 legs so we had no other choice for him

Second horse, I was about 24, injection again. He had cancer and was ready to go, he went really peacefully, sat down, then lied down and went to sleep.

Third horse, I was 25. technically was a full livery, but we were his carers for 3 yrs, so he was a member of the family. Horse was 32yr old TB, with cushings and couldnt hold weight. The owner wanted the hunt. So he was shot. Unfortnatly the huntsman didnt get it right, and the horse colapsed and bled out, while chain stoking. Which was horific and did give me nightmares. The only thing that I could find peace in was that he was brain dead, and didnt know what was happening, as the ticks/tremours, were the central nervous system shutting down.

I will be there for all of my animals, when the time comes. As I believe its the last thing I can do for them, making there last minutes as stress free as possible

Personally I would never let a child see a horse shot, as there is no guarentee it'll happen perfectly, and it seriously traumatised me at 25. But if they wanted to see a horse PTS by injection I would let them, as the drug's are so good these days, it is peaceful. The best thing is just to explain exactly how the drug works, (like an anesthetic overdose) so they simply go peasefully to sleep and dont wake up.

The plaiting up thing for a show is good. I know someone who did that with there hunts horse, they plaited it up (athough he had been retired for many yrs) took him to the hunts yard, and as he was unloaded, they blew the horn, whereby the horse pricked his ears, and went all perky and was shot then. So his last moments were of a good/happy feelings.
 
I spoke to her and told her she cant be there for the actual moment but is going to plait her up and tie ribbons in her mane before hand then give her a huge "cake" (just a fancy arrangement of any horse edible things she can find)
She wants to sit with her after which i think is a good idea- she sat with my horse after and it helped her.

The next problem that i'm now going mad over is that my y/o is going to speak to her real owner today (she is on permenant loan but of course the owner has to be informed first ) as i just dissolve into a blubbering mess if i talk about it, and i have lost my phone so have no-one's number but am now really scared they will arrange for her to be shot in which case my daughter cant sit with her and i have to explain why she cant when she could last time??

Sorry am rambling a bit now but just in a bit of a panic- (think i just put my mobile in the washing machine!)
 
I think your plan is lovely getting her ready and making a cake. Children are fairly hardy and may be more upset seeing the adults upset than the pony being PTS. I do feel for you, just do what you think is right and it will be.

My daughter's pony got colic at night and had to be PTS during surgery. She slept through the whole thing - I didn't know what to do, other half thought I should take her to the vets, but I decided not to as the pony was in a lot of pain. I really thought he'd make it to the morning and she could see him and possibly say her goodbyes. I had to wake her with the news in the morning - I felt terrible but she's been fine said she had a lovely last ride on him and never had to see him in pain. The vets gave her some tail to make a bracelet and she tied some to a hook in his stable.
 
I haven't read any replies, didn't want it to colour my reaction but I would say why shouldn't she be there? If it's her pony and she's over 7 then I feel she should learn that things like this have to happen for the best of the pony; the sooner she can learn that lesson the better is my thinking. So many parents shield their children from unpleasantness but this is the real world we're living in and it's not always nice, sooner they learn that the better if they're going to continue having horses.

I'm sorry for you all about pony, at least you're doing the right thing for him/her, it's never pleasant.
 
Maesfen said:
I haven't read any replies, didn't want it to colour my reaction but I would say why shouldn't she be there? If it's her pony and she's over 7 then I feel she should learn that things like this have to happen for the best of the pony; the sooner she can learn that lesson the better is my thinking. So many parents shield their children from unpleasantness but this is the real world we're living in and it's not always nice, sooner they learn that the better if they're going to continue having horses.

I'm sorry for you all about pony, at least you're doing the right thing for him/her, it's never pleasant.
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I do agree with this - hard though it may be. It can be an even harder lesson to learn later in life, if you have been shielded from an early age.
 
It depends on the maturity of your child. If shes old enough (not sure you've said how old she is) and more importantly mature enough, I would talk to her about what is going to happen. I'd tell her that it can look more upsetting than it is - that they will fall to the floor, but that they have already gone when that happens and its just a body. I'd talk to her about how bodies are just shells and whats really important, the horsey inside, will be long gone. And when I've explained that it would be upsetting, I'd give her the option.

You don't want to risk her throwing it back in your face in the future. However if she is really too young to understand (and personally if it is done by bullet there is no way I'd let her be there, just for the blood aspect) I would do what it sounds like you're planning - spend the day making her look pretty, plaiting etc, feeding all form of yummy things, then when the vet comes I'd take her for a walk maybe to her field? and then when the deed is done I'd let her sit with her. However it might be nice to speak to the vet about shutting the horses eyes, laying him in a "calm" position etc.

I really think that if she's not under, like, 7, then I suggest she should be there. Tell her how kind you're being to the horse and how loving a decision it is.
 
Hmmm haven't read all the replies, but if she is under 14 I would say let her see beforehand and after but not actually be there unless she insists.

As kids, we always saw our pets after they were PTS and were allowed to help with the burial and say goodbye once they were gone. That was really importasnt IMO
 
"The plaiting up thing for a show is good. I know someone who did that with there hunts horse, they plaited it up (athough he had been retired for many yrs) took him to the hunts yard, and as he was unloaded, they blew the horn, whereby the horse pricked his ears, and went all perky and was shot then. So his last moments were of a good/happy feelings."


This made me shed a tear what a fitting way for the horse to go x

Sending huge hugs to you and your daughter OP, and I hope everything goes smoothly for you and the pony xx
 
the first horse i remember we had to pts was done without me knowing. Our dog had just died (3 days before hand), and mum just didnt want us to worry about him aswell.

we walked upto the field with him, where he was knee high in grass for a few hours and happy before he was shot later that evening (combination of recurrent laminitis and old age)

dad came home and said that ernie had been shot because he wasnt well, (which we knew) and that was it really. i didnt feel the need to see it, or be there, i said goodbye before (well see you later, but same thing) and he looked content and galloped round and stuffed his face which made me and mum laugh at the time.

second one was a mare who suddenly died overnight with a 6 week old foal at foot. hardest thing was catching foal (was completely wild unhandled, and stressed because of mares death). seeing the dead body didnt mean anything, i was more interested in seeing what she actually looked like incase there was anything obvious, it didnt scare me or upset me really even at a young age. the foal was most important and survived and grew into a normal horse even though hand-reared by us luckily.

between these times (i cant remember specifically) another horse was also shot, but he was elderly and lived out most of the time and wasnt so much of a friend as ernie. it was a case of one morning asking where robin was and being told that he was shot yesterday. doesnt need to be hidden or disguised, just truth and trust.

last was a friends horse on the yard, who had colic. we found her in the morning just as we were setting off to a show, rang vet who came and did not a lot (epsom salts in water) said ring me at 7pm if she hasnt passed droppings. didnt pass droppings, eventually did internal exam which showed massive twist and dead bowel which she had been stood with all day. how she was still stood up we have no idea, they're tough welsh cobs evidently. was pts (injection) there and then. (arrived just as she hit the ground)
it wasnt distressing, just sad that she had suffered all day from something we couldnt even avoid. didnt see her taken away, but dont think i want to really- nothing to be gained from it.

death, reproduction, birth, illness etc have all been part and parcel of having animals so it has never been an issue, just something you have to do. yes you dread it, but you dont do it for yourself do you :)
 
Owning animals is great but we all have a responsibility to them at the end. I was taught from a young age that the eventuality of life is death. Coming from a rural background I have seen lambs, horses, dogs, calves all dead or pts. It is hard and heartbreaking everytime but we cannot live out our lives running from it. If she understands what is happening and the horse is getting injected, let her be there if she wants to be there.

If the current owner wants to have the pony shot, ask if you can contribute towards having the injection for your daughters sake. I wouldn't allow a daughter of mine to be present during this form of euthanasia, nor would I want her to hear the gun shot.

Absolutely heart breaking. Thoughts are with you both
 
I agree with many of the rest of you on this one. There are some things that a child does not need to deal with and this is one of them.

Let her say her goodbyes, have a snip of tail - even a cuddle after if the situation lends itself (obviously not an option if the pony has been shot).

Its much better for a child to have happy memories of a pony, rather than the realities of it being pts.

To be honest its an image in my head that I would much rather be without, but as an adult you have to face these things. When she's an adult she can make her own decisions about whether or not to witness such things. Whilst she is a child - please protect her from it.
 
Kittykins said:
Why don't you ask your daughter what she wants to do? I'd have a talk with her about it, explaining why and what's going to happen, then discuss with her whether she wants to be there or not. She might just want to say goodbye before hand.

Very sad - sorry that things are difficult for you right now :(
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I agree with this. I think you'd know from having a chat with her about it whether or not she will want to be there and whether or not she would cope with it, and it would give her a chance to tell you instead of speculating whether she would or wouldn't etc. It does depend on her age though but I was devastated as a child to receive a phone call from my sister telling me that my father had had our family dog PTS, him having not discussed it with anyone.

Sorry you've got to go through this at all, it's every horse owners worst nightmare, hugs to you and your little pony.
 
Oh bless her - she must be devestated :( I havent read the other replies so sorry if this has been said before. If this was my daughter, I know that she would want to be there - she insisted on attending her Papa's funeral last year and she went to visit him in the mortuary - I let her go, thinking she would change her mind at the last minute and I was prepared to whisk her home at a moments notice if it got too much for her. But, despite my concerns, she coped very very well with it. She was only 10 at the time and was incredibly resiliant - yes she was upset and cried, but I was there to comfort her and she got closure.

I would be asking her what she wanted to do in this instance - and if she wants to be there then I would let her be there - obviously if it comes to it being a shooting then I would have to say a definate no, but for an injection I would - I would also have a friend to hand who could take her away to one side if it became too much for her while you deal with everything.

At the end of the day though, you know your child and you have a fair idea how she will cope with it. Good luck with everything :)
 
my response is a definite NO. i have been around horses for far too many years, and have never had a pleasant PTS. i prefer them to be shot as quicker but brutal for a child to watch, and have seen them injected and dropping and twitching/thrashing which seems like eternity (tho reality is only 30 to 45 secs). i can still see them all the ones i have stood with. not pleasant. I would let her do him up and indulge him with treats carrots etc. then i would get her to say goodbye explaining that he was going to heaven, and then get someone to take her somewhere nice and exciting for a few hours. sorry i wouldnt let her see him dead either. Where is the pleasure in that once the life has gone and the soul not there? children are resiliant, and do accept things if well explained, but dont require to see this or deal with this. I have to deal with this on owners behalf. Even adults dont really need this!
 
IMO every-one who keeps horses, or any other animal has to accept that death is part of it and that we have a responsibility to the animal to ensure that the death happens at the right time. Children can be very realistic and in some cases quite like gruesome experiences. Of course I don't know your daughter but my thinking is that the best thing to do with a 10 yr old is to ask her whether she wants to be present, she WILL have an opinion. As some-one else said, please be careful with euphemisms, I have known children become frightened of going to sleep or of parents going to sleep because of the phrases that have been used when a pet has died. I do think that whatever your beliefs about what happens to the animal after it has died (or what you choose to tell the child to ease the grieving process), the word 'death/die' should be used. Be prepared for your daughter to want to discuss the actual process endlessly afterwards, whether she is there or not, children like to get things straight in their own minds.
 
Children are often more resilient than we think and also should be allowed to be there if they wish even if its unpleasant. My children have witnessed a pts which was an emergency so no chance to hide it and they were fine, they found it easier to accept that Zephyr was dead and at peace. My son aged 6 at the time wanted to see his granny after she died, in the funeral parlour ,and I got all upset about it but it was fine; it was closure for him. My daughters, who were there just before she died, did not want to see her after death and that was their choice. Depends on the child but i strongly believe that it is not a good idea to overprotect them, they will have to deal with death at some point.
 
I would say no also.
I am now 29 and had my beloved old cat pts a year and a half ago, and I find that very hard to think about even now. I know I will be beside myself when I have to let go of my horse. I think it is something that a child need not see, just time before and after it is done I think appropriate.
I really wish you all the best with this, must be very hard indeed xx
 
I persoanlly think that children are much tougher and have a more grwon up and logical understanding of death if approached proeprly than most adults. I would ask her, and let it be her choice. From a young age I always had pets, some small, some large, but learnt more from tending to them in their final moments than anything else, I remember aged about 11 asking mum to have one of my hamsters PTS as she had got very old and lost all her fur and wasn't eating very well (still have the odd nightmare that the bloody thing isn't dead and is alive in some part of the house but thats another story). My mum always made a point of when I was young letting me touch dead things and seeing that it was natural, now I must admit I'm quite hard and would be fine to hold anything to be PTS provided that it was the right choice for the animal. I would let her say goodbye once the deed is done for sure, it will give her some closure, I would also stress that if having the injection that its just like going under for surgery, but she just won't wake up again, its a much kinder way of putting it than telling her the drugs stop the heart.
 
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