Choosing the time (sorry for length) :(

HollyWoozle

HollyWoozle

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I know quite a few topics like this turn up but I just wanted to share somewhere and could do with any advice...

Inca, my retired happy hacker, will probably have to be PTS soon. She was a good showjumper and had been jumped a lot, came to us maybe 6 years ago to be a happy hacker (just occasional hacking) as her knee was slightly arthritic. After a year or two, we had to retire her as her knee swelled right up and we were advised to do so - since then she has lived happily with us on bute and cortaflex, turned out 24/7 with the others.

Recently we noticed melanomas under her tail and agreed with the vet just to leave them until they became a real problem, it wouldn't be fair for her to undergo treatment as they had grown large quickly and it wouldn't be fair on her in the circumstances. Now they have grown even larger and appear to be slightly blocking her bottom, not that she seems in any discomfort. The hoof on her stiff leg is worn down on a strange angle to accommodate for the knee and the other front hoof is cracked, despite us trying to maintain her feet well. She is also coughing now and then and her knee is more swollen than ever. :(

How do I know when is the right time? She is eating well, a nice weight, moving about and her summer coat is coming through lovely and shiny... I have never had to "play God" before as others before needing to be put down had been obviously suffering and it was an easy decision. I don't really know what to do, I don't feel I can decide when she should die.

Is it wrong to keep her going even if she seems happy? I am hoping advice from the vets tomorrow will make it clearer... but I just don't know. :(

Any help or hugs much appreciated!

Edit: For the record, she is about 16.
 
I think you ask the professionals opinion, if she seems happy and you are happy to let her potter then I don't see the problem, if she is unduly suffering or the pro's recommend a course of action then you have to be prepared to possibly make the hard decision. x
 
This is a horrible situation I know, a couple of years ago my old cob mare was pts. She was 28 tho and had a build up of minor problems that by theirselves wouldn't be an issue but altogether were starting to wear her down. You'll know when the time is right, you'll see it in her eyes. We gave Holly a last summer but she didn't really fatten up at all so made the call before the weather changed.
It's always good to keep your vet involved but bare in mind he wants to make money.(some more than others) let your gut feeling be the deciding factor.
So sorry you are going through this, it's the worst thing ever, big hugs coming your way.
 
If you can honestly look at her & say she doesn't seem to be in discomfort & is enjoying life then I would be perfectly happy to carry on. I think you'll know when she's had enough.
 
Horrid decision to make. I agree with others that if she is happy and you are able to keep her as a pet, then by all means let her potter and enjoy being a horse. She'll let you know when she's had enough. They just get a sort of defeated look and you know it's time. It's never easy. Sorry.
 
having had to make this dession it is not one i regret seeing the pony you love in unbarable pain is the hardest thing, i still havnt been able to get over it really :( i think that whilst your horse is happy - not in pain and enjoying her life the you should wait, quality of life is the most important thing that you povde. whatever your decision i am sure it will be the right one for you and your horse,
best wishes and a big hug x
 
Firstly (((((((((hugs))))))))) to you. What a horrid situation.
I agree with most above if she is happy and you are happy then keep her going. Horses in my expereance always let you know when they've had enough.
 
Problem is with melanomas that what's on the outside is often a reflection of what's going on internally and sadly, lots of grey horses suddenly have a bad turn due them being in very nasty unseen places such as on the windpipe. If I was you I would give her the summer, few months of warm weather, good grass and nice warm days for stiff legs then let her go before the weather turns in september time. This would ONLY be however if the melanomas were not ulcerated or stopping her going to the toilet easily.
 
Thanks for the hugs and advice everyone. I really hope that I can do right by her, she's a kind girl and although I never did much with her, I really hope that she's enjoyed her life with us and that, if possible, it can continue a while longer.

This is her taken about two days ago.

DSC00173.jpg
 
She looks fantastic and the grazing is ideal and your fields are fantastic ....not a poo in site ....she looks as happy as larry, so tbo I would just let her continue to enjoy life .....
 
Eaglestone said:
She looks fantastic and the grazing is ideal and your fields are fantastic ....not a poo in site ....she looks as happy as larry, so tbo I would just let her continue to enjoy life .....
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Thanks... but she's blocking out the massive poo heap :P I am just worried that she's having toilet troubles but I never see her go to actually observe if she's struggling or not. The melanomas have definitely grown and are definitely in a position that they should be making going to the toilet uncomfortable. I've done my best to look at them and they're not painful or infected or anything, but I just think that they must be making it awkward at the least... or will do soon. Perhaps some vet advice will clear up my worries, though we saw the vet just a few weeks ago and they have grown since then. :-/
 
When it's a gradual decline through old age and non-specific causes, you can tell when the time has come. Even if it's hastened by an identifiable condition which is worsening, when they have had enough (but not too much) it is easy to spot. However, I'm not saying it's anything like simple to call time on their behalf, unless circumstances dictate without argument - then the decision is taken out of your hands.

What we all pray for is a sunny day, permission from the horse or pony to go 'through the gate and into the green fields of heaven' and a peaceful release.

You will need to keep a close eye on her for any signs of impending discomfort due to the melanoma you can see and keep your fingers crossed for those you can't. I wish her and you a long, happy summer and a straightforward goodbye in good time.

What a lovely old lady, with an obviously caring owner. Makes it even harder, doesn't it.
 
your wee horse looks lovely. I agree that if she is not in pain or discomfort and seems happy and healthy then she is probably not ready to go anywhere.
I had to make the decision at the start of the month for my grey. his cancer had started to move inwards and the vet reckoned that he would start to feel it quite soon. I made the decision to let him go before that happened. It was a beautiful bright day and he died with his head on my lap. It was all very peaceful and dignified. I am a firm believer in better a week early than a day late.
It is a horrible situation to be in and I feel for you. I am heartbroken over my wee lad but I am confident that i did the right thing at the right time.
 
It's a cliche but you will know when the time is right. Everything you have said about her suggests that she is still enjoying life. I had to have my old lad PTS because he had internal melanomas and I had been in the same position as you trying to decide when the time was right. One day I just knew, he lost some of his sparkle and he seemed to be telling me the time was right to let him go before he suffered. Speak to the vets and keep them involved but I'd be tempted to let her carry on enjoying life but be prepared that you may need to make the call at any time.
 
Just a little update...

The vet has been today and Inca was such a good good girl. She stood still whilst the vet poked around in all sorts of places. The verdict is kind of as I thought, but better really. The vet said that she does not appear to be in any pain and that at the moment, she doesn't think the melanomas should be causing any kind of problems for Inca passing droppings.

One melanoma has opened up slightly so she gave us some antibiotics and recommended that we gently bathe the area each day and put some sudocrem on as a barrier. She also said that flies will be our biggest problem so we should be religious in putting fly repellent on, especially around Inca's back end.

The decision basically is to give Inca a lovely summer if we can and then to make the decision to put her to sleep before the winter, unless it becomes apparent that we need to do it sooner. The vet was absolutely wonderful and said that if we are struggling to make the decision, she is happy to come and make it for us. It's times like this that you really appreciate a genuine and caring vet.

Thanks for all the advice and I'll keep you updated. I intend to spoil Inca with yummy treats and some nice face brushing (which she loves). :)
 
chestnuttymare said:
I am a firm believer in better a week early than a day late.
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Ditto this sentiment. You so obviously care for her well being and I honestly think you will make the right decision based on what your instinct says to you, as much as I think your mare will tell her in her own way too.

By getting the vet out you are showing due care and diligence, so you are doing your level best to make her life happy.

Big (( HUGS )) for you XXXX
 
Which is what we have all said, only 'official'. On 'the day' for our little mare, we felt knew the time was right, but still wanted the final sanction and absolute confirmation we had indeed been timely, not tardy or premature.

Not always easy to avoid, but regrets are the last thing you need.
 
Hugs to you and carrots and polos to Inca.
Sounds like you have a good vet! My one piece of advice would be to dicuss how you would like it all to happen when the time does come (hopefully not just yet). So when the day does come (and having gone though it last year you will know,when this is) you just need to phone the vets and all the arrangements can be in place.
 
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