Complete loss of confidence -

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Hi i have been offered the chance to exercise a really lovely horse (although don't really know her) I was looking forward to going down to the yard all week to meet her until that morning. I woke with a sick feeling, and as the hour approached i knew i couldnt even get into the car to drive to the yard. I told my husband who said (even though he doesnt want me to ride ever again!) i should just go down and groom the horse and maybe just sit on her. Rang the owner who agreed and said come down but after putting the phone down i just started shaking and felt sick etc etc. I have NEVER EVER felt like this in all my years of riding (30),. so had to ring ower and say that i didnt think i was ready to go back to horses. She was great and said that when i was ready to phone/text.
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I had a bad fall last november. What shall i do? anyone ever just completley given up for a while? What did you do?
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I think you should try ignore your fears and go see the horse. you don't have to even get on her. I don't know the circumstances of the fall but my horse fell with me last year on the road resulting in me breaking my collar bone. It did knock my nerves a bit but then I have owned him for years and it's never happened before so i just told myself that it was just bad luck and there's no reason for it to happen again.

I bet when/if you do get on the mare the likelihood the fears you have built up and thought far too much about will disappear anyway and your natural riding instinct will kick in.
 
Hi
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I can understand why you feel so nervous after the fall and then the break you've had. You need to take the pressure off I think. How about if you went down there just to do the stable chores for a couple of weeks, with no intention of riding? Take your riding kit down there anyway so it's there if you happen to need it, but don't ride until you've got to know the horse on the ground a bit first. Maybe watch the owner ride a few times so you can see how the horse behaves? Don't be too hard on yourself - but don't give up, either! You'll get there, you just need to get back into it slowly.

Have you sat on a horse since the fall?
 
You have a combination of problems here, the fall has dented your confidence understandably. In addition you are looking at getting to to a strange horse and riding, probably with the owner watching - that would many of us nervous.

I have had some bad falls, and some long breaks so know exactly how you are feeling.

I found that going to a good riding school and explaining that I needed to rebuild confidence on a safe school master was a good way forward - whether it is about just getting on and walking, or whether you have a specific issue you need to get past.

Once you have had a couple of lessons you don't ever need to see that instructor again so it really doesn't seem to matter if you make a bit of a fool of yourself.

My issue was with canter transitions (the result of my first pony being a bit of a bolter and treating every bit of grass as a race track, I thought I would never ride in a field again, ever) so they put me on a nippy pony that went faster the tighter you took a contact - it taught me to lighten my hands and relax instead of building up too much impulsion and causing an explosion. We did a few fast circuits around the school while I was getting it but it meant that I could happy get on a horse and canter out without feeling like I had lost all control.
 
(((hugs))) for you Nina, losing your confidence is really horrible. It happened to me with the horse I had before I got Murphy, and has taken a long time to come back...but I'm getting there now, thanks to Murphy and lots of support from people.

can you work out what exactly is triggering your fears - what is it that scares you?

I'm sure you will get back to it - i get the feeling that deep down horses are just a part of you, and you wouldn't want to give them up. The good thing about losing confidence is that it can be rebuilt.

ETS: you are more than welcome to come and have a sit on Murphy if you would like to, he would look after you, but I don't want to put any pressure on you - so just drop me a PM if and when you'd like to come over (even if you just want to bring the twins over to meet him).
 
ditto above, don;t put too much pressure on yourself to get on yet, just go and play in the yard with ponies and when you feel ready then get on. you'll be suprised how soon you get itchy feet to get on once you start being around the horses again.
 
I completely lost my confidence 3 years ago and I know how you feel. The first time I went to catch my new pony I was sick in the hedge, but I persevered and did what I felt I could do to start with and just very slowly built up my confidence until I could ride out on my own a short distance. I still get the wobbles occasionally now but its not at the point where I am actually frozen with fear. I think you should go and see the horse and just get to know her without even considering sitting on her at the moment and see how you feel. Big hugs as well xxx
 
Hi thanks for your words of wisdom.

Jumpthemoon - no i havent even sat on a horse since mav, should have really got back on a s soon as my back healed, i guess its like driving a car after a bad crash the longer you leave it the worse it gets.

Bex - do you know i think that it might be a good idea to come down and walk murphy round the school while you are there to catch me!!! Plus i know you so i wouldnt feel like you were scrutinising my riding. motherhen you hit the nail on the head there, its a combination of fears, worrying about the horse plus having the owner watching me...

God im 40 years ol i shouldnt be feeling like this!!!
 
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Bex - do you know i think that it might be a good idea to come down and walk murphy round the school while you are there to catch me!!! Plus i know you so i wouldnt feel like you were scrutinising my riding.

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Defo come over...I'll PM you. Murphy is a good boy and will look after you, and we'll just take it at your pace, do as much or as little as you like.
 
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