Completely lost my nerve! Help :(

C

chestnut cob

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To cut a long story short....I have always suffered with nerves jumping but I had more or less got over it. The problem I have is mostly with SJing/coloured poles/jumping in an arena. New girl was supposed to be a SJing schoolmistress for me to get out and do something on. She's perfectly capable, keen, pretty sensible, goes when I say go, stops when I say stop etc. She has a bit of a habit of dropping her head after fences (not to get you off, just as though she's saying "ow my mouth", but has apparently always done this), but when you're jumping a course and she's thinking about where she's going next, that stops.

A while ago we had a bit of an "incident"...she came into season, was pure evil and ditched me during a SJing clinic. We came into a fence, jumped it beautifully, and two strides after she stopped dead and dropped a shoulder. It was deliberate...I came off. Although we've popped the odd thing since then, I've lost my nerve totally. For about a month after the incident she was horrid, absolutely horrid. We've worked through that now, it was a combination of needing the physio, first season of the year, and general girly problems which are now sorted. On the flat she's a dream, not push button but when I get it right, fabulous. I've learnt so much from her on the flat but I just can't bring myself to jump now. My confidence wasn't great anyway, and although I know the cause (and have dealt with it) of the bad behaviour, I can't seem to get past it. She is dying to jump, you can see it in her face every time the jumps are up in the school. Did a few poles today but just couldn't bring myself to jump - even 1ft!!

She loves jumping and I know I just need to get over this mental block and we'll be back to where we were. Any suggestions? I've had TFT in the past and it's ok but I don't want to go down that route again. I was thinking of getting someone more confident on to jump her a couple of times, partly so I can show myself that nothing is going to happen, and also so she gets to jump with someone who isn't terrified!! Am tempted to take her XC as I don't get like this over natural fences and am happy to just go at it in a straight line, I just get a mental block in an arena.

Any suggestions gratefully received:(
 
i'd find a really sympathtic bsja coach to help you with this. i event at pre novice but hate showjumping and whenever i try to do it on my own i turn into a bag of nerves and ride badly. i have a great instructor though who has really helped me to deal with my issues. it might be a case of spending a while doing small jumps and trotting poles but sometimes thats just necessary to get confidence back. hope this helps! x
 
Hi sorry to hear that you are so worried! Why dont you do a mixture of what you have yourself said, Take your girl over some natural jumps doesnt even have to be a xc have you any woods or anything near by? try a few fallen trees maybe, then when you and she are happy jumping together again then maybe get a confident friend to jump her with you watching over some sj, so she knows its ok and you know she is ok? pure lavender oil on your pulse points is always a great natural way to help the old nerves also
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I really hope that you can overcome this little hurdle please update as im sure you will be fine
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We're never going to be (well I'm not, she was in her day but she's an old girl now!) world beaters so I'm not sure if a BSJA coach would be way above me? ATM I won't even jumo 1ft on her
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When I put my Welshy out on loan we were doing 3ft courses, not regularly but regularly enough to be happy. He was a bit of a nappy git XC so tended to stick to pairs there (but still doing a good 2ft9 when I sat back and kicked LOL!!), but we were still doing it.

I think part of the problem is that she's a lot of horse for me, quite quirky and has just taken so long to get used to. I didn't get her to go straight out and compete on, I got her because I can learn so much from her instead of teaching the horse. We're about to get out and start some dressage together which I'm really looking forward to, but just wish I could start jumping again. I honestly don't think she's too much horse for me as it's really only this little hurdle we need to get over (quite literally!). The thing is that I know once we've popped a few fences and my mental block has gone, we'll be back to where we were.

Small jumps and trotting poles is fine, having had my confidence shattered in the past and worked through it, I know that's the best place to start!

Thanks
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I think you are getting the right advice here.
Get someone professional without your nerves to jump her.
Be nice to yourself we all get nerves.
Dont challenge yourself too much if you didnt have emotions about this you would be a Robot just give yourself small steps to take. Little Jumps, Trotting poles and make it a game - Play.
If she had lost her nerve completely you wouldnt take her into Arena and say be brave you have to work through this you would say there, there lets take a step back. So be nice to you and your little mare.

I have lost my nerve twice and got it back so I do know how you feel.
 
Thanks. I'm hoping my YO is going to get on this week and give her a pop around some fences. It's more so she gets the chance to jump something more than about 6 inches and can actually enjoy it, LOL! My mare can be an absolute baggage but bless her, most of the time she has the patience of a saint! TBH I figured I was better stopping jumping for a while than keep trying but ending in tears, and eventually resulting in putting my horse off as well. As it is, she's still keen and absolutely dying to jump again.

My friend has a lovely eventer who I jumped recently so I may see if she'll let me back on him soon. I wouldnt' say there weren't any nerves then, but it was better than on my girl as no "incidents" have occurred.
 
Half jumps - put half a cross pole up (or a pole raised on one side as more sensible people call it) and try to w/t/c over it as you would a pole on the floor. Scatter these half-jumps around the arena when you're doing normal schooling and without setting up for it work over them a couple of times - don't consiously change the rhythm/rein length/stirrup length etc etc just go over them and carry on doing flatwork.

After a few sessions of this, change some of the half-jumps to full crosses and do the same again. This idea worked for me as my problem in rebuilding my confidence after an icky fall was all in the anticipation and if I thought I was in 'jumping mode', ie setting up jumps/changing my stirrups then I got queasy, but if I just pootled over little bits and pieces without thinking I was 'jumping' then I was fine.

Keep doing little bits and it will come back
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You could try one of the hypnosis tapes confident riding. They do hem for jumping as well. This in combination with seeing someone else jump her might help.
 
hugs for you chestnut cob, loosing your confidence is horrible, but you will get over this.

I was absolutely petrified of jumping a few months ago after I fell off in the summer. I'm now getting a lot better, and jumped 2ft for the first time last week, and did a1ft clear round at the weekend - I'd never have thought I would do that a few months ago.

The things that have helped me have been watching other jump my pony - a very fiesty girl at my old yard had a go and got him going, and then I got on and was fine. Canter poles have also helped, as once I felt confident doing those, I started to feel more confident about little jumps.

Don't give yourself a hard time about having lost your nerve a bit - it's really counter-productive.
 
Agree with Burple.

Stay within your comfort zone for the moment, and jump what you feel happy and confident jumping.
Once you feel totally at ease and relaxed doing that, you will no doubt, get to a point where you want to try coloured poles again.
Just don't overface yourself, and take your time.
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And if you're ever visiting home, you could always come over and take the reliable dependable Snowy out. If he doesn't boost your confidence, I don't know what will.
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Hugs to you. xxx
 
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Agree with Burple.

Stay within your comfort zone for the moment, and jump what you feel happy and confident jumping.
Once you feel totally at ease and relaxed doing that, you will no doubt, get to a point where you want to try coloured poles again.
Just don't overface yourself, and take your time.
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And if you're ever visiting home, you could always come over and take the reliable dependable Snowy out. If he doesn't boost your confidence, I don't know what will.
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Hugs to you. xxx

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Thanks Dubs. I just feel like I'm letting the mare down as she just loves to jump!

I'm home about once a month so I might just take you up on your offer
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I'll find an instructor here and get a couple of lessons, then a friend (who also comes on here) from my last yard is arranging a XC lesson for us with someone on my old yard who teaches. She (the instructor) will understand the nerves as I know she does suffer terribly sometimes too, and I think playing over some baby XC fences might be just what's needed. I just feel as though if we were in a rhythym and in a straight line, I can just kick on and go.
 
I so know what you mean about changing things - I am fine with jumps up in the school, I am fine thinking about jumping them...the minute I put my stirrups up it all changes and I turn into a jelly!!
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What i might start doing as well is maybe putting poles around the school like a course, riding it like a course, but without them being actual jumps. Then I can start making them into little Xs. I am so mad with myself today though as we had such a beautiful canter, plenty of impulsion, lovely and soft and she was really listening, and I still couldn't bring myself to jump. The minute my stirrups go up she just pings because she realises she's jumping...shows how much she loves it!
 
Thanks Bex. I can't help giving myself a hard time - I have this fabby horse (when she wants to be LOL!!) who loves to jump, a few months ago we were popping round courses regularly and it was great. Now I have to take a deep breath to do a pole
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Soooo frustrating!!
 
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Thanks Bex. I can't help giving myself a hard time - I have this fabby horse (when she wants to be LOL!!) who loves to jump, a few months ago we were popping round courses regularly and it was great. Now I have to take a deep breath to do a pole
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Soooo frustrating!!

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I am exactly the same, when I am jumping regularly then I am much better (altough still not brave!). I haven't jumped properly since last October. I do find I am much more confident with a good instructor on the ground and keeping the exercises short, fun and within my comfort zone. When I am feeling braver then is the time to push myself. Spring is a great jumper and does give me confidence if I let her get on with it and don't interfere too much, I really want to get jumping again properly this summer.

Good luck I hope you find your nerve again!
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Thanks Luce, it's nice to know it's not just me!

I guess I just have to stay in my comfort zone and push it when I'm ready...

ETA - the other thing that worries me is that an instructor will get fed up teaching me when I'm nervous (I don't want one of those instructors who just says "that was nice, come again" without giving any CC) as I'm only going to be jumping diddy things initially...
 
I lost my confidence jumping and I went to a local RS - the RI is fab and the horses are great and don't mind when I close my eyes if the jump is bigger than I'd like!!
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ETA - the other thing that worries me is that an instructor will get fed up teaching me when I'm nervous (I don't want one of those instructors who just says "that was nice, come again" without giving any CC) as I'm only going to be jumping diddy things initially...

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A good instructor will pick up on your nerves and will adapt the lesson to help you overcome. I lost my nerve riding my mare a couple of years ago, on the flat I add, jumping is so not my thing, my instructor never gave up on me, although there were times I struggled to even trot around the arena. It must of been frustrating for her at times, I know it was for me but when things did go right she was as pleased as I was. I know if it hadn't been for her I probably would have given up altogether.
Good luck, acknowledge your nerves is the first step to overcoming them in my opinion.
 
Just give it time and don't push yourself too much. I totally lost my nerve just before Xmas when I fell off and have only really just got it back now, though I'm only walking when we hack out. Someone else has been jumping my horse from time to time and he's been loving it. One thing my instructor did when I said I didn't want to jump was do a course with wings and everything but the poles were on the ground. I just had to concentrate on getting the right canter, the right striding and doing the turms.
 
Yeah I think that's something I'm going to try. The thing is nothing else scares me. We hack out all the time, perfectly happy to go for a gallop through the fields, been up to the gallops with other horses too, it just seems to be this issue with jumping in the arena.

Argh, nerves are rubbish aren't they!!
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God I can be really wimpy when jumping but my YO has given me some jumping lessons and she was great. I layed it on how wimpy I was and wanted my confidence building etc etc. So she started off didley and easy then without me really realising as she was focusing on my riding into the fences she gradually made them bigger and more technical (still 2'6 and not mega difficult just doubles and more tricky lines). Really getting me concentrating on riding lines and concentrating on getting Spring straight and consistent to the jumps. I would recommend her for building confidence over jumps whilst still giving constructive advice, but you are probably too far for her to travel.
 
It's just so frustrating! Makes me feel completely stupid because I know I can do it, my body just seems to freeze up and I panic. As I said, I thought I'd got over this panicking thing with TFT years ago but obviously not
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Oh CC I didn't know you had nerves
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I am happy to come and play with you if you want, for as long as you need, set up poles etc, talk inane babble to take your mind off your nerves, serve vodka
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Was going to say the same thing.
Ive been teaching some ppl who were quite nervous jumping and had a lot of sucess with them
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If you need a hand just let me know Im only too happy to help
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Vxx
 
Aww thanks Lou, that would be lovely
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My nerves come and go. They used to be terrible on Rhyn but I worked through them all with Jo Cooper and they pretty much faded away. I did still get nervous but could deal with it and channel it...back to being absolutely panic stricked now! The thought of jumping makes me freeze up and the more I think about it, the worse it gets. It's totally stupid!!

I particularly like the idea of the vodka! What I need is someone there to just shout the obvious stuff at me when I freeze up - like "leg on", "sit up" etc! All the basic stuff....my problem is that I can't just let the fence come to me. My horse knows her job and she's easy, but I want to fiddle with her and control everything. I don't want to jump big, up to 3ft really maybe 3ft3 at a push, so I don't need to be spot on every time. She will sort her own stride out, no matter what I do to her she's never wrong. The worst she does is put a long one in if I mess up, which is a hundred times better than half a stride and a cat leap LOL! I just need to learn to sit there and let her get on with it.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Was going to say the same thing.
Ive been teaching some ppl who were quite nervous jumping and had a lot of sucess with them
smile.gif

If you need a hand just let me know Im only too happy to help
smile.gif

Vxx

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I've got more help than I know what to do with now, yay
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Thanks V, I might take you up on it. I just need someone who won't be annoyed with me when I'm being pathetic!
 
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