Complicated confidence help needed

M

mar2505

Well-Known Member
Joined
7 January 2007
Messages
276
Visit site
Help....here goes.
Fell off my mare 6 weeks ago and ended up badly hurt.
Vet then discovered her back sore so had injections into that.
Became terrified around her even though she is rock solid.
I was ok when going to vet hospital but now home I have to get back on and I cannot even catch her because she is sensing this nervousness from me.
I am dreading getting on and I know I gave to do a rehab plan that involves it.
Every time she even looks at a bird, Sky, plane or just looks I jump out of my skin.
Ridden a couple of other horses and ok with them, but not perfect.
That's the short version, but any advice would be great because even my instructor is at his wits end !
Thank all
 
Is your instructor riding her for you?? if not that would be one way forward, she needs her rehab work so get that underway and take your time before you get more involved, if you can ride another horse that should help with your nerves but I think they will settle once you see her going well for someone else and you can ease back in at your own pace, it may prove expensive but in the long run it will be worthwhile.

Also you could look into whether your insurance will partly fund rehab livery, they often do if you can justify it, lack of facilities is the obvious one, that would give you a break and some breathing space as well as give her a good start.
 
I went through exactly the same thing with the same fears around 18 months ago, riding a young ex racer TB. I was even too scared to do rehab with my horse, in hand! I bought a self hypnosis CD by Sharon Shillwell called Confident Schooling, I think. Amazon has a good range specifically for riders. It worked a treat. I still listen to it from time to time. I also bought one for hacking and that's done the trick too. Hope you get it sorted, it's an awful thing to be suffering with. But it can be overcome so don't lose heart.

Edited to add: I did also get someone else to ride him for me after his box rest so I could see he wasn't going to kill me. Lol! It helped to see that he didn't always misbehave.
 
Thanks, googling the CDs now, wish I was not so nervous around her, had her 20 years she is an old girl so that's even more ridiculous!
 
mar2505 said:
Thanks, googling the CDs now, wish I was not so nervous around her, had her 20 years she is an old girl so that's even more ridiculous!
Click to expand...

That's the crazy thing about losing confidence - you can rationalise it, know it's daft and ridiculous, but it doesn't help to know that! In fact, knowing it's not rational adds to the problem because you start to think you're losing the plot. Well, you're not. :)
 
Thanks, no one at my yard gets it that's the trouble, they just don't seem to have the issues I have ��
 
As someone with wavery confidence at times myself I would suggest -

1. Pay someone to ride her to do her rehab so that she is getting what she needs and the pressure is off you
2. In addition to this, ride her yourself in tiny amounts and always with someone on the ground. Have a 5 or 10 min lesson and don't go out of walk. You can use it to improve your riding (even William Fox-Pitt has lessons so there must be something that can improve ;) ) and build up your confidence from there
3. If you are in the same situation as when you fell off, make sure there is someone there with you on the ground so you don't feel panicky.
4. Spend as much time as possible just grooming her - she will love it as with moulting at this time of year she will be very itchy. I spent half an hour just scratching my horse yesterday (removed about 1kg of hair) and the pleasure he gets from it made me feel really special! (saddo!!)

The main thing is to take the pressure off yourself so it is not up to you to do her rehab but you can just ride tiny amounts until you get frustrated with not being able to do more… then you can increase it.
 
Frenchmade said:
That's the crazy thing about losing confidence - you can rationalise it, know it's daft and ridiculous, but it doesn't help to know that! In fact, knowing it's not rational adds to the problem because you start to think you're losing the plot. Well, you're not. :)
Click to expand...
Confidence is a fragile thing ,easily lost and then takes a while to build. i would advise help with her and maYbe someone like Jo Cooper i think her name is ,she does NLP .
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top