Confessions of a horsewoman/ man ...

blitznbobs

blitznbobs

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Forgive me HHO for I have sinned ...

What have you done because of your horses that is illegal, immoral or fattening or plainly weird???

1)I have eaten horse feed (to see if it was nice)
2)Lied to my dearest husband, mother, anyone about the price of saddleclothes, bandages bridles etc etc
3) stolen horse carrots for the kids tea...
4) skived off work for the day for my illicit affair (with my pony)

What have you done????
 
When I finshed Uni and had my first job (but before I had a house etc) I didn't exactly lie to my family. I took lovely new horse home to meet them and my mum asked:
Mum - how much did he cost
Me - well I've not ridden for 4 years and need something good to get be back into to so he was £4
Mum - well I suppose £400 isn't that bad
Me - hmmmmmm (didn't have the heart to tell her it was £4k not £400 !! )
 
My OH loves parsnips.

My horse loves parsnips.

I hate parsnips.

OH's face lights up when I unpack them from the shopping... and then falls again when I toss them in the boot of the car, rather than the fridge.

Poor man.
 
My hubby thinks that keeping my horse costs £40 a week.
He doesn't realise that that's only the livery bill.
I certainly don't correct him.
I Think he thinks that hay, straw, shoes, Trailer storage and all the other little bits are included.
He doesn't know I have insurance either.
oops!
I don't lie as such just don't correct him.
 
My OH hasn't really lived with me and horses yet. He seems to think that it's just a weekend thing. I haven't tried very hard to change that, I just keep telling him that he can't say he wasn't warned.

I have tasted my horses feed (who doesn't do that??), I've also eaten a blade of grass and a bit of fresh alfalfa out of curiosity. I've taken bites of a carrot and handed one to the horse and ate one myself. On the other side, I've offered my horse bits of my lunch if she asked, when out on long rides.

I've "gotten lost" on a trail ride for hours to avoid doing something with my ex that I hated doing. Wasn't untrue that I was a bit lost, but I didn't tell him that I intentionally went that direction.

Definitely played hooky at work to go ride. All summer I would go in early and leave early so I could ride afternoons and evenings anyhow.

Not infrequently used horses and an excuse to not do some social thing I didn't want to do anyhow.
 
Unfortunately, OH is horsey as well, the best I can get away with is adjusting the cost of stuff, to be fair though, he doesn't really mind what I spend, I earn my money and don't object if he wants to spend money on camera equiptment or golfing
 
Using the laundry in our apartment complex late at night to wash rugs. (They're industrial size and inc in our service charge how could I resist)
When my dad was alive he thought every horse my mum or I bought since 1989 cost £550.
Peed in the stable (I heard Mary King does and if it's good enough for Mary!!!)
Eaten feed (didn't taste as much like muesli as I thought it would)
Worn a bit (just to see what it felt like)
Drank wine from a box at a show and missed the Championship due to said box of wine (in my young and carefree days)
 
OH complains bitterly about the cost of my inspirational, educational, fantastically amazing training sessions....he thinks one every two weeks is a frivolous and expensive indulgence ('But you already KNOW how to ride..') He does not know that on occasion I have been known to sneak in two in one week on occasion...! Nip out when he's at work, nip back, park up the trailer, chuck horsey back in the field...you'd never know I'd been anywhere.
 
"and how much was that?!! "

"total bargain from ebay dear!!"

... And he needed it *cough*

Like I really need another rug with 15 and counting for one highland pony!

I'm sure we all have our confessions definitely thread watching!
 
Ate a piece of hay on a dare once... didn't realise that humans don't have whatever enzymes are needed to break down hay so I spent 5 hours chewing it so I could win 150€ 😊
I quite like hard feed!
I frequently skip school either to ride at competitions or to go around the country riding sale horses for friends (I'm on transition year so school doesn't really count right now anyway)
I steal the vegetables out of mams veg patch to feed the horses and pretend I don't know why she has such a small crop this year....
Lie to mam about whatever swollen/injured joint I have atm so she'll let me continue to ride.
 
I pee in the stable on occasion and in the horse box at competitions if there isn't a loo provided.
I gave myself a present of a beautiful portrait of my horse, but I do feel guilty that I don't have a nice picture of my son. In my defence he won't pose for a photo.
I frequently share an apple with my horse. If someone offers me a piece of carrot cake I always accept and put it in my purse when no one is looking and keep it for him. He Loves it.
I lie about the cost my private lessons with my dressage instructor.
 
I went "sick" off work one day many moons ago, to go cubbing.
However, I needed diesel first, so at 6.30 in the morning pulled into the garage to top up, only to find my manager at the next petrol pump!
I had to ring in work later, and explain I had a suddenly very severe stomache problem, and hoped he didn't put two and two together!
 
I like the taste of ERS pellets...
I also like putting a flake of quikbeet in my mouth and letting it expand

I have lied and said "Some kind soul sent it to me from the internet! I just had to pay postage!" when I've got a "new" 2nd hand numnah or boots...to be fair, that has actually happened on this site :) you are a lovely bunch!
My only dates booked off work thus far are show days.
To friend I don't want to see "Sorry, I'm a little tired today..." as I swiftly get in the car for an hours hack.
I spent over £100 on Ned for our first Xmas together. I spend £10 on my mother!
 
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I frequently don't go out with friends due to horsey things. But seeing as most of them are horsey they are fine with it as I provide them with free tickets to shows et al.
 
Yup, I've tasted horse feed.
If my hubby saw how many saddle cloths I have he'd have a fit (15 for one horse!!) I had another one delivered yesterday but I NEEDED a white dressage square.
I didn't tell him I'd bought a new saddle for Samuel. He thought I was using my old horse's saddle.
I use 'having to go do the horse' to get away when I've got bored of being somewhere (actually, if Hubby's with me and he wants to leave he tells me to use that as an excuse too LOL).
I spend more time arranging Samuels' bed than I spend doing housework at home.
I spent more on Samuel this Christmas that I did on any of my family !
 
I covered up a 7 mth baby bump with a baggy shirt and a bum bag so that I could rent a horse and ride in Turkey.

Once rode right into my local tescos on a 12.2 Dartmoor to complain about their delivery driver who'd just run me off the road. Received unusually prompt attention and a complaint form was forthcoming in seconds!

Occasionally 'get lost' down sections of gamekeeper's track which just happen to link up miles of bridleway we otherwise can't use.
 
I dared my friend's 11 year old brother to eat a handful of garlic flakes meant for the horses in summer. He cried. He stank so badly of garlic that his mother wouldn't let him sit in the lounge for the rest of the evening.

I let my horse drink from a sports bottle at a competition (by putting it into his mouth and squeezing), I then wiped the end on my sleeve and drank from it myself.
 
My mum thought my friend owned Barney and I just looked after him, nope he was mine

I've eaten horse feed

I have more rugs and haynets than any one really knows ��
 
Ohhh god ok here goes....

It was a lovely stunning spring morning. I decided to take my dear little trakhener mare Gertie for a quiet hack around the village. She was very sharp but liked a small hack on quiet roads. Tootled out the yard and up tge hill. On top of the hill, just around a corner, was a beautiful old church, you generally would pass the church go down tge hill behind it and back around to the yard.

not today.

we meandered up to the top of the hill, unusually relaxed and stepping out nicely. We then turned the corner to go past the church.

and then we saw it.

a big black shiny hearse and a large crowd of mourners.

I respectfully tipped my hat, and adked Gertie to turn back from where we'd come so as not to become involved. Gertie, however, had other ideas. After what felt like an hour of rearing bucking and cavorting, she spun round, ran backwards, and sat, yes SAT, on the bonnet of the hearse.

That was not all my HHO friends.

she then decided enough wass enough and launched herself like a human canonball through the air. I landed splat on the pavement and hit my nose on the kerb producing a theatrical and impressive amount of blood and swear words.

Mortified I retrieved my frothy snorting enraged mare, and without a word, turned for home.

but she stopped.

then she did the most ENORMOUS sh!* on the pavement.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my ride ended. I would love to find the people whose day I ruined, and apologise sincerely. No damage was done to the hearse or my darling mare, who I lost four years ago and miss every day.
 
I secretly love it when he buys a new expensive rubbish play station game as he wont ask what cr*p I'm wasting my money on now for at least a week!

May have had parcels delivered next door when buying saddles . . .
 
Most of my office work wardrobe comes from the second hand shop.

As for my riding clothes ..... $300 breeches are so worth it.
 
Um I have to own up to gamekeepers' tracks too - they also lead to bridlepath. They don't seem to mind though as we always get a cheery wave when they appear on some weird ATV, usually with something incredibly scary and/or flapping bags on the back. I'm guessing that as we don't disturb the pheasants, we are just seen as a few extra pairs of eyes keeping a look out.

I am very guilty of using horse as an excuse when I don't want to go to some family bash - like our invitation to brother's in-laws for chilli beef last Christmas. In my own defence, it is 40 miles away and I did have horse to do at both ends of the day.

As for peeing in stables, I was on a yard for 16 years where there was no alternative. I remember my extremely painful South African boss saying "you English girls just won't pee in the bush" when we were on some team-building trip and telling her that I peed outside more times in a month than she changed her knickers...
 
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