Confidence cob

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dreamer2014

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I've fell off my friends horse in May this year.. Got rushed to hospital with possible back a neck Injurys! I had my pony still but my confidence was completely knocked totally off the shelf! My parents moved to a farm and this made me want to get back into the swing of things again. I went and got a 4yo cob! I know it sounds silly but when i went to try it it spooked at a bird and all he did was have a little hop to the side which I would handle there was nothing else wrong with him he was never forward anything. I got him on loan 2 weeks later.. I don't have a school as yet at my house so it's mainly hacking, it was great until Sunday.. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what happened or anything I'm only 17 and he's my 2nd horse so I don't know ALOT! Well basically a new horse came to the yard but dreamer being dreamer didn't even bother! I asked a few girls if they fancied a hack some said yeah so off we went! I was in the middle on dreamer and we went up on a hack one way we which had before! We got to the top of the hill and it was getting a bit windy so we decided to turn round and head for home as we had been out for an hour already! As we turned dreamer was then at the back.. I felt him trying to gallop he was trying to run. So I hopped off him and patted him and told him everything was okay etc.. One of my friends says you shouldn't have got off him you should have stayed on or he will keep doing it.. So I waited until the bottom of the hill and got back on him, he was a perfect wee pony all the way until another hill.. We turned up a hill to head home but one of my friends gave me no warning and started trotting off of coarse as a baby would he though it was fun and games and started cantering and trying to race her! I sat my seat and tryed to pull him back but would he? No! I screamed to the girl up front STOP! But she didn't i shouted again AMY STOP! So she did and she thought it was great fun! But of coarse after my accident it gave me the biggest shocker of my life I was shaking so much! I stayed on and walked further! I got about 400 yards from home and a car came behind! ( he has seen cars tractors lorrys so this wasn't new) he started again trying to run uncontrollably so I got off and walked him in hand I was so scared I didn't know what to do! I walked just to my drive way and he dragged me literally round to my house! I dunno what's wrong anyone got any ideas? I just want to know what I'm in for or ways to stop this I love him I just don't want to let him go! ( Bering in mind he has a youngsters bit on a plastic one? Didn't know if changing it to a snaffle would be any good as that's what he has been in before)
 
Oh I do feel for you. Confidence is such a fragile thing.

With the benefit of hindsight a 4 year old (even a sane cob) is not likely to be the best choice for a rider returning to riding after a nasty accident. Dreamer sounds lovely but he is a baby still and needs his rider to be confident for him when he's scared and to make firm decisions when he's trying it on.

Don't feel bad for getting off, I think it was the right thing for you and Dreamer. Pick your hacking buddies very carefully and don't ride out anyone who is unsympathetic to you or your horse. You both need safe, sane hacking partners.

And do think think about getting an instructor in for a while to help you and Dreamer build confidence in each other. Well done for asking for help too. :)
 
I know that with a youngster they need confidence so I do give him as much a possible when he's scared I'm not affraid to tell him it's okay etc. But I was thinking on getting an instructor to come up and give us a few lessons! Thank you for your advice and I'll take that on board
 
southerncomfort said:
Oh I do feel for you. Confidence is such a fragile thing.

With the benefit of hindsight a 4 year old (even a sane cob) is not likely to be the best choice for a rider returning to riding after a nasty accident. Dreamer sounds lovely but he is a baby still and needs his rider to be confident for him when he's scared and to make firm decisions when he's trying it on.

Don't feel bad for getting off, I think it was the right thing for you and Dreamer. Pick your hacking buddies very carefully and don't ride out anyone who is unsympathetic to you or your horse. You both need safe, sane hacking partners.

And do think think about getting an instructor in for a while to help you and Dreamer build confidence in each other. Well done for asking for help too. :)
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i agree totally with Southerncomfort, the world is very new to Dreamer ,add a bit of wind, an unsympathetic hacking buddy and you can panic easily, wev'e all been there and got home and gone phew, what was that all about,
Dreamer sounds lovely, perhaps do get a bit of extra support, also as said above, well done for asking.
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just wanted to add something else but i had to dash off before and stir some soup!
it's ok to get off, don't let anyone put pressure on you if you are worried, i had a stroke as many know on here and it was hard afterwards to get my confidence back, i got off many times and the one time i should of and didn't i nearly fell off the side of a cliff, Dreamer will know if you are stressed and could close down on you, better to jump off for a bit and sing a silly song to him!
 
I feel for you in this situation, i have a 4 year old TB, i had a bad accident when younger and got to riding, i have gained some confidence back but there are still situation which make me uncomfortable, i have found some lovely sane! hacking buddies on are yard, mainly older horses who if my Tb was to spook would not bat and eye lid and will even let him up behind them with we go down the green lanes!

I also find when i am scared i sing (badly!) to me and Levi and as long as i try to keep that going i can calm my self down and in turn Levi fixes on to my "singing" and forgets about what he was worried about, so maybe try singing or have a little radio, i turned the radio on when in the school but just sing to my self when hacking.

best of luck with dreamer! and here if you ever want to talk to some one :)
 
My first thought upon reading your post (and forgive me if I misunderstood) was that you should try to ride circular routes if possibly to avoid the excitement of turning for home as it sounds like Dreamer started acting up as soon as you decided turn back.

Echo what others have said about lessons and choosing your hacking buddies. You really need someone who is happy to let you dictate the pace.
 
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Thank you all so much! His owner came up at the weekend and said the same thing try mixing things up so he's always guessing so I'll hope that works!!
 
I was just about to write what FestiveFuzz did. I cannot turn either of my cobs around for home. If I do they prance, dance, race and act like idiots until we get back, nothing I do stops them and if I get off they will drag me on foot. As a rule I stick to circular routes. Also one of mine is a sod when its windy so maybe it was the weather conditions, turning home and hacking partner encouraging speed?

I know what its like to loose confidence after an accident. Its taken me literally years to even go on a hack. My biggest words of advice is to only hack with someone who will stay at your speed and has the ability to calm you down when you panic or at least wait and not judge you. My friend was the most solid rock for me, i'd panic out of the blue for no reason whatsoever and often burst into tears with no warning. Bless her she would stop, hold onto one of my reins so I felt safe and just sit and wait it out until I was calm enough to continue. After a year I am managing to canter in a group on a bridleway, 2 years ago I wouldn't get on a horse. Don't push yourself, tell yourself its not about getting from a to b and back, its about the minutes in-between, if you get off that's fine, if you slowly walk that's fine, at least you got on and tried, that's the main thing xx
 
I think you handled the situation in a very mature and caring way, very well done to you.

Your "friend" on the other hand was a very immature and silly child.

As a four year old he must of felt it was So exciting going out with all those horses, my little cob was exactly the same. I would stick to one proper friend who will stay with you. Your other friends want to have a blast I can see that, however it is wrong not to take in to account that one horse is very young and it was very silly to ignore you when you shouted. They could have a fast hack on their own, when with you they need to remember that Dreamer is a baby. Please never stress about getting off, that is a load of codswallop! If you get in to a situation where he is unsettling you and you feel better on the ground then work from the ground. Just make sure that if and when you start a discussion with him you can see it through. When my confidence went I took things in small steps and worked with a instructor. Also keep an eye on Dreamer as this time of year he could still be growing, I have just had to turn away my five year old for a couple of weeks due to growing issues. This could be causing him some issues like aches and pains and they can tweak themselves, which Moses also did. He hurt his back, which totally changed his character and he went from calm and sane to spooky and dangerous, so be aware of those times he is growing, as a 4 year old cob you will have a lot of that for at least another 4 years.

trust your own instincts you seem pretty clued up and good luck.
 
dreamer2014 said:
Okay so at least my cob isn't the only silly one out there! Haha! I used to do circular routes so I might just continue on that one!
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Ha you're definitely not alone. When I first got H he was an absolute nightmare, I was forever coming on here with confidence wobbles. The specifics will differ for each horse but what I've found has really helped mine and H's confidence is to always set ourselves up for success. This ranged from only hacking out on my own if I was in a good mood and had the time to deal with his nappy moments, to now only asking him to jump things that I know won't freak me out as I don't think it's fair to ask him to jump things if I'm just a passenger. The other thing that helped was like B&J said, having a decent support network in the form of hacking buddies.
 
Confidence is so fragile! You need to look after it.

Suggest you find a nice quiet nanny horse, with a trusted rider to go out with until you and dreamer are more confident together.

He'll be worth it, cobs are great fun!
 
B&J said:
My friend was the most solid rock for me, i'd panic out of the blue for no reason whatsoever and often burst into tears with no warning. Bless her she would stop, hold onto one of my reins so I felt safe and just sit and wait it out until I was calm enough to continue. After a year I am managing to canter in a group on a bridleway, 2 years ago I wouldn't get on a horse.
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What a lovely friend! Confidence is so fragile, sometimes we have it and other times we wonder where its gone!
 
B&J said:
I was just about to write what FestiveFuzz did. I cannot turn either of my cobs around for home. If I do they prance, dance, race and act like idiots until we get back, nothing I do stops them and if I get off they will drag me on foot. As a rule I stick to circular routes. Also one of mine is a sod when its windy so maybe it was the weather conditions, turning home and hacking partner encouraging speed?

I know what its like to loose confidence after an accident. Its taken me literally years to even go on a hack. My biggest words of advice is to only hack with someone who will stay at your speed and has the ability to calm you down when you panic or at least wait and not judge you. My friend was the most solid rock for me, i'd panic out of the blue for no reason whatsoever and often burst into tears with no warning. Bless her she would stop, hold onto one of my reins so I felt safe and just sit and wait it out until I was calm enough to continue. After a year I am managing to canter in a group on a bridleway, 2 years ago I wouldn't get on a horse. Don't push yourself, tell yourself its not about getting from a to b and back, its about the minutes in-between, if you get off that's fine, if you slowly walk that's fine, at least you got on and tried, that's the main thing xx
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You sound just like I was and still am actually!
Op, Confidence is such a fragile thing. I am to riding a 4yo cob and at the minute he is trying it on with me. Usually he is perfect! He's even taken to having a squeal and a buck when I get on too however he is a bit fresh as I only get to ride him at weekends! Keep at it and don't be ashamed of getting off. I had to jump off the other day as he was being stupid and with traffic around it was the safest thing to do.
Also agree with the others re sympathetic hacking buddies and getting an instructor! I have a lovely hacking buddy who's sympathetic to my needs but I just need am instructor now!
 
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