confidence crisis !!!!

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PaintboxEDT

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do you get them ???
been haveing probs with bringing the big man in from the field,took a while to actually catch him yesterday as he kept walking away but got there in the end !
then he would stop every few steps and not budge,managed to get him to the closest dock leaf stem pick it and tickled his belly with it to get him to walk on !!
well today im having a major issue with myself and feel nervous etc and dont even want to go and catch him today i dont know why im feeling like it,it makes me want to cry !!!
tragic i know !!!
what can i do i need a confidence boost,i seem to have lost confidence as ive got older !!!!!
i know it sounds silly i just need some help !!!!
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When I got Beau in Feb, he would plant his feet as I brought him in from the field, at at 17.3hh and me 5ft 5 I could hardly drag him!
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So i took a schooling whip with me, and when he planted his feet I would stand at his shoulder and give him a tickle on his side with it, and he soon walked on then.

After a few days he only did once or twice a week, by this time though I only had to put my hand back and he would walk.
He has tried it with OH over the last few weeks, as they are now in the back field with lots of grass, but he just steps back and gives him a flick with the lead rope, and voila!

Do you think your boy is just trying it on like Beau, wanting to stay out in the field with his pals and food?

My advice is dont give up, no matter how long it takes to bring him in!

also dont just bring him in to ride if thats what you are doing, bring him in just to give him a groom sometimes, or a feed.
 
I know how you feel! I have sent my horse off for some schooling and I went to have a lesson on him last night - before it I felt really nervous, no idea why! I'd ridden him two days before and I'd been riding him every day before he went (he's been there a week and a half) so God knows what came over me! I'm the same with loading as well - fine one minute, then petrified I'll get trampled the next! Odd!

I just try to calm down...just go and do it, don't dwell too much on the fact that you are nervous. The more you think about it the worse it gets! Just get on with it and put it down to human nature!
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hi sb yeh im sure hes taking the mick and doesnt want to leave his new field and friends,i just worry as ive only had him a couple of weeks that i dont know how hes gona react ie run off with me,go up,run at me god can you tell how paranoid iam ! i just dont know how far to push him !!!
i only bring him in for groom and feed i rode him last week and he was a star,since then it been just for a pamper,i know im over reacting its only today ive felt like a nervous wreck and i dont know why !!!!!
 
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thanks jtm thats exactly how i feel for no reason what so ever its making me feel sick today havnt felt like this before,its doing my head in !!!!!

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Honestly, don't worry about it! If you get yourself in a tiz about it you will only be more likely to remember how you feel next time you go out to the field. If you put it to the back of your mind, fetch the horse in and pretend to be confident, you'll remember that experience next time and forget all about being nervous! Trust me, I have BAGS of experience at this....
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You know what I would do if I were you? I'd see if I could find someone who is very confident around horses; bridle the horse to bring him in, don't allow him to give any nonsense and teach him some leading manners by being firm and clear about what he is allowed to do and what he isn't. You should walk alongside the handler, pick up her tips and tricks, then after a few days you take over with the leading with her walking alongside. Your boy is just taking the mickey and this needs to be nipped in the bud fairly quickly otherwise your problems could multiply.
 
trouble is he knows his job,at 21 hes been there done it all and was told just to use my voice as hes a driving horse and done it all his life and knows and respects head collar etc,why he has to start being a pain now is beyond me,i think he thinks this is his retirement home and wants to enjoy it !!!!
 
Ditto Tia.

Luckily I wasnt intimidated by Beau's behaviour, I knew from day 1 he didnt have a nasty bone in his body, but if you dont feel confident enough to take charge of the situation, then its a very good idea to find someone who is confident to help, you dont want him thinking if he does A,B and C he can get away with not coming in.

It def sounds like he is just being a little monkey though!

If Im right isnt he an older chap who had been in his previous home his whole life? He will be adjusting to his new home with you, which makes it more important that you are firm and consistant.
 
yeh he is older,hes been with same family since a 2 yo but has been all over the country starting at ascot driving stables then windsor etc then 4 years in home before coming to me,he is just use to being in pairs and fours when doing things !!
i brought him in with others the first few times but then on his own after that !
 
Work on through this - it is because he is still new to you and you are worried you haven't seen him at his worst yet!! Tell yourself you are confident and capable - it will take time to build up trust with him and he has to trust you too. Spend as much time with him as you can, just putting the headcollar on, leading him in any direction then reward him by letting him go again. Repeat 3 or 4 times a day if time permits!
As St Bernard suggests, sometimes just bring him in to feed or groom then put him out again.
Good luck - this WILL get better as you get to know him more!
 
Repeat mantra...I am confident, I am capable, I deserve respect and I own this day...10 times before you try to catch in, also try a Dually. Its done wonders for my confidence as my new mare would trample, run ahead, break loose, all sorts of trouble before I started using it, whether its a placebo because I feel confident with it, or whether she is actually responding to the control, who knows, but who cares, as long as its doing the job! Just work on respect and a bond for now, the rest will follow. Best of luck x
 
just been up with a friend who was bringing her boy in,i caught him no probs but then wouldn't budge after that,friend took a whip and was walking back towards us with her horse and asked if he had moved,i said nope and she tapped his bum with whip and it was literally a tap that was it he walked on and didnt stop for the rest of the time,had him in for a near on 2 hour pampering session,he had a minor impatient moment of wich i grumbled at him and he stopped then spent the rest of the time grooming me !!! bless him
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thanks peeps,yep it worked a treat !!!
call me a worrier !!! cos i am but cant help thinking that he wont want me catching him at all if i keep takeing the whip with me !!!
sb is your boy ok to catch still ??
 
oh god yeah, he comes galloping over to me in the field every day!
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as new horses do he was just trying it on and feeling a bit insecure when he first arrived, horses like to know who is in charge, I can guarantee after taking the whip a couple of times he will stop doing it, and if he does stop it will be rare and all you will have to do is move your hand back and he will walk on.
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you arent beating him or even hitting him so dont worry about that, and dont feel bad, you are just letting him know you are in charge, this will make him feel more secure.

Well done!
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thank you youve been a great help,couldnt believe i was such a wreck thismorning just thinking about it made me worse !!!!
like your boys hes also a big lad and im only 5"4 !!
his height isnt a prob i soon got use to it although when your stood downhill infront of him he looks like a giant lol lol
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LOL! OH jokes on that beau's hed is as big as my upper body! And it is!

This is the size of me compared to Beau...so as you can guess I cant 'force' him to do anything, he does it bcause he wants to.

As your boy will!
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