confidence gone...what to do??

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callysplace

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I have totally and utterly lost my confidence with riding, from being a slightly nervous but generally get on and do it kind of rider, I can't even stomach the thought of sitting on my horse.
What is a generally extremely kind, nonfizzy laid back chap, has turned out to be a nightmare napper, who will just wildly spin around for up to twenty minutes to even get off the yard, if something is spooky he will shoot sideways, snorting and trying to spin, I hasten to add he does not bolt, but I just don't feel secure. This only happens when he is rode out on his own, when he is with another horse he trusts he is a perfect horse, however this spooking and napping has really thrown me. When he first came he never showed any signs of this, however for the first few weeks he was hacked out by a close friend ( I was away!) , who mentioned that he had started to become spooky during the high winds we suffered.
I bought him as he was recommended to me by people who knew him previously and had seen him been ridden and also been stable neighbours, however when this behaviour started they then mentioned that he had only ever hacked out in company!!
The thought of even getting back on him makes me feel sick, and its such a shame as he is a total star when he is out with others and really does give a lot of confidence, as he would never dream about getting het up, bucking, bolting or rearing....should I persevere or say enough is enough, but then Im left trying to sell a lovely horse that can only be ridden in company and I could only sell as such!
Im not the worlds most confident rider, and I was extra careful when searching for a new horse, and felt that the references he was given were excellent but this behaviour is upsetting and I don't know if I am confident enough to work through it with him, the yard manager got on him and made him go forward after a mini epic battle and told me to keep on riding him forward, but I just can't stomach it.....am I been a total wuss or should I raise my hand and say enough is enough and look for something else?
 
ok i've a lot of questions..How long have you had him? And how long have you had this problem? Is it just when going for a hack..if so why not ride out with someone else until you get your confidence back? Seems to me like your not giving this horse a chance and the fact that you get nervous going away from the yard alone probably doesn't help either.. Have you had back, teeth and saddle checked?? It does sound like boldness but just in case.. Anyway he sounds like a superstar and obviously will ride through the napping as other people have gotten him to.. I say just ride in company get u confidence up meanwhile have someone experienced hacking him out alone every so often to get his confidence up.. get over the confidence slump together :)
 
Its probably a vicious circle - the horse is picking up on your lack of confidence and playing up, which is making you less confident, and so it escalates.

Only hack out with horses that you feel very secure with. Get yourself an instructor that you trust, and go back to basics. Give yourself loads of time, and very small goals.

A lot of things get worse at this time of year as the new grass comes through. Get him out as much as possible - build up to getting him living out if you can.

Give it a bit of time and attention (the problem, not the horse). It may well turn back into the perfect horse sooner or later with lots of help and patience. If not, then you know you've tried and look for something else.

Good luck.x
 
Honey08 said:
Its probably a vicious circle - the horse is picking up on your lack of confidence and playing up, which is making you less confident, and so it escalates.

Only hack out with horses that you feel very secure with. Get yourself an instructor that you trust, and go back to basics. Give yourself loads of time, and very small goals.

A lot of things get worse at this time of year as the new grass comes through. Get him out as much as possible - build up to getting him living out if you can.

Give it a bit of time and attention (the problem, not the horse). It may well turn back into the perfect horse sooner or later with lots of help and patience. If not, then you know you've tried and look for something else.

Good luck.x
Click to expand...

^^ Agreed we are going through the same at the moment, we have found an instructor we are happy with and it is the basics that seem to be the problem as well as the starting point.
Good luck.
 
If you haven't had your horse for long, it may not have settled in which probably doesn't help his confidence to begin with. The horse is not only trying to find his security in his new home, but also with his new owner, these things take time. I think hacking out alone is actually quite a test of a relationship so maybe don't look to do that for a bit, and introduce in gradually when you do (5 mins after schooling, etc).

So my main advice would be to take it slowly and not expect too much too soon. Find a really good instructor to make your riding as secure and safe as it can be, and find other things you can do to start to bond. Lots of groundwork is a really good idea, not just lunging but long reining and doing anything in-hand (you could do some spook-busting stuff so you know he can cope when out on a hack ie with bicyles, dustbins, trailers, walking over tarpaulins, wooden surfaces etc).

Good luck and remember to enjoy the journey!!!
 
Nearly every horse is looking for a confident leader whom he can trust. If you are not confident or nervous he will pick up on this in a nano second. Thatsts why he doesn't want to leave the yard with you.

Lots of groundwork, games and tasks.

You need to up your game, so go out in company until you are comfortable in the saddle. You will need to put the hours in.

The horse needs to see you as someone he can trust, and rely on as his leader. I don't mean dominate him, or try to bully or nag him.

He needs to know if you want to hack then its a good idea and he is safe and happy with you.
 
i had a very similar confidence crisis, i got bucked and bolted with regularly from december 2009 onwards and ended up breaking my pelvis in september 2010 so confidence was rock bottom, i got back on a horse (not mine) on saturday. it was daunting but im taking baby steps to try and getmy confidence back. also i have been working with an intelligent horsemanship recommended associate with my horse on the ground, getting him to listen to me, spook busting ect. and our relationship is so much better and stronger than it was 6 months ago. i would seriously recommend searching for an IH recommended associate in your area, as she has done wonders for me and my confidence, and although i havent got back on yet, im starting to feel like i could. She is fab and i would seriously consider Intelligent Horsemanship it if your having confidence issues.

p.s. its nothing the horse won't have done before, its just common sense! im surprised i hadnt thought of it sooner!
 
My last horse came from a trekking centre, and let's just say that he didn't want to go ANYWHERE without another horse AT ALL :mad: We went thru a very bad time together, but I think the difference is that I did never lose my nerve, somehow - tho God knows when I look back now, how I didn't is a miracle.

I basically decided, after all the checks - his teeth needed doing btw, that he was being a dangerous, rearing,stroppy git. I tried going "back to basics" - lunging him turned out to be so dangerous, that had to stop immediately, and just putting him in the school caused ruptions. But we started there, in the school, literally one step at a time. I always had someone watching me at all times.

Then, once we had had some success together, I roped in some horsey friends, and we tackled the "leaving the yard". Then the "I want to rear, leap and go in here", then the "I am planting my feet here and you will never move me", on and on. Until finally, he realised that it was actually quite nice going out and about with me ;) He turned out to be a wonderful horse, he'd just never been taught to go out on his own.

Firstly, I would put the horse on a good calmer. And rescue remedy for you. Next, I would get a good instructor who will help you with what you need to do, and then ask the instructor to assess the issue herself. Maybe her riding first, then watching you ride . From that, you can together build up a confidence plan. It may well take time, it did with my horse, but we did it. I think a lot of instructors would be pleased to be offered to help you with this tbh, and think of it as an investment. If this approach doesn't help you both, come back on here for more advice :)

Good luck, sm xx
 
I went through all this with mine, I ended up having to have someone literally chase him off the yard with a lunge line or something. Even then he would go so far and nap. It wasn't good. I never did get to the bottom of it, but I broke my arm in the school when he spooked (he did that too). I moved yards and had a complete fresh start, cut feed right down and increased turnout. Thankfully he only napped twice at the new place. Whether my mindset had changed because it was our last chance, whether HE changed and was happier in his new surroundings, whether his feed was what had made him naughty I don't know, but I think it was a combination of factors.
I would have all checks done, cut down feed to a minimum, increase turnout where you can and get a supportive friend or instructor to work through it with you. You will probably only have to work through it once or twice and horsey will give up the bad behaviour. Good luck!
 
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