Confidence - help

S

SouthWestWhippet

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I know most of you have probably heard all this before from me
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but I just need a bit of reassurance again...

since the accident I had in October (spinal fracture, thrown off an unbroken youngster and taken to hospital on a body board... wasn't very nice) I've been slowly regaining my confidence to the extent that I'll now ride all my boss' more difficult horses and even get on 'unknown' horses (i.e. one that have just come in for reschooling). On my horse, I am confidently schooling her and back doing bits of XC and SJ but I just don't seem to be able to break the 2'9' barrier... Before I had my accident I was happily jumping 3'3 courses on her and hoping to go bigger as the opportunities arose but these days I just see anything much over 2'6 and start to panic. It doesn't help that she has gone from being a pony that never stops to one that stops at most fences over 2'9... hmmm, i wonder why LOL it is definitely my nerves feeding to her but it isn't helping me at all...

I've been thinking on and off about selling her, for a number of reasons, not least the fact that I just don't trust her jump anymore (although this could change because I KNOW it is me that is the problem) and also she doesn't really have the paces/sense to do a decent dressage test and I would love to have a go at a bit of eventing (RC level and maybe intro... before my accident I was hoping to do pre-novice with her but now I'm just not sure I'd ever feel up to it).

A girl at the yard has offered to do some work on the jumping for me. She is an amazing junior SJer and won the 1.05 at blue chip finals but she is just out of juniors, sold her pony and her current horse is going away for a couple of months so she is looking for something scopey to ride.

I guess that if I did agree to this, firstly my horse would be getting more confidence over the bigger jumps and secondly she would be increasing in value as she'll be doing affiliated stuff. But I feel a bit as if I've 'failed' with Polly having to get help jumping her and it is making me feel even less confident.

I know I am a reasonably good rider and I also really work and try to improve all the time. But it is like there is a block in my head when it comes to jumping Polly over any sort of height which I can't get over. I dunno, I'm all over the place with this one. Any thoughts?
 
welldone with getting this far, im exactly the same with my horse, so im not much help to you but could you ride someone elses horse that would definately jump the bigger fences? then when ur happy jumping on another horse you could start riding ur own?
 
The best thing about this is that you know where the problem lies. A good few years ago (uhm about 23 actually) I had such a fright on one of my boss' horses (didn't even get hurt) that I didn't ride for 2 years. I was devastated, but was too terrified to get on again, and the boss didn't help. My mum eventually persuaded me to get on my old retired pony, and to cut a long story short, I ended up backing 2yo TBs, point to pointing, eventing, hunting - you name it, I did it, and yes I fell off and hurt myself plenty of times, but for some reason that didn't bother me. So tbh, I think you need to give it a bit more time, and don't push yourself if it is causing you and your horse problems. At some point you will need to venture out of your comfort zone, but at the moment I would just stick to doing the things you enjoy. Build up your confidence (and your horse's) by jumping lots of 2'6" courses, doing a few novice hunter trials, a bit of dressage maybe, and I promise your bottle will return! Oh and remember to breathe.
 
I think I'd let her have a go. Then if she went well for this other girl I'm sure it would make you feel more confident. Good luck!
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If you want her to school the horse for you then go for it. You aren't failing - everybody needs some help sometimes. Also, don't worry about the height, just enjoy what you are doing now and take your time. The last thing you want to do is push yourself before you are ready and put yourself off for even longer. Even if it takes you another year, does it matter? Trust me, if you take your time over it, one day you will just think to yourself...'I'll just pop over that 3' fence' and it will just happen. Everyone loses confidence - the trick is not rushing into things when regaining it. Good luck, I'm certain it won't take you long
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thanks everyone, yes I think I am going to ask her to jump Polly for me. The more I think about it the more it makes sense... plus Polly will be gaining confidence which will make me trust her more and I would love to see her jumping affiliated courses even if I wasn't the one riding her!!!
 
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