confidence is real low...

[Jesss]

I have just bought a lovely ex racer tb mare,no problems with her at all! She can just get a bit fresh under the saddle but not a bad bone in her body.
Now i have owned her for about 3 weeks so we are still getting used to each other. I have had a little bit of a problem with my confidence for a few years since falling off while jumping.
Last week while i was riding my mare in the school there was a horse tied up against the fence, while i were going past the other horse bit my mares bum (sounds funny,i know!!) which resulted in my horse taking off. Since then i have only been in her once and i got really nervous and only stayed on for 10 mins!!
Just really dont know how i can get back to how my confidence used to be!?!
Any help much loved..
Nice cuppa to anybody who got this far!

 

[Dancing Queen]

you need to remember she didnt purposely bolt with you - someone bit her bum. Its like you being slapped on the arse - you would move sharpish! get back on in the school and relax xx

 

[Echo Bravo]

Agree with dancingqueen, not your mares or your fault, but the silly buggar who tied their horse up at the fence. Come on and get back on.

 

[Jesss]

Thanks for your replys peeps

I know its not her fault bless her, but with her being quite fresh and forward (and shes 15 would you believe!) it makes me tense up with nerves which obviously makes her tense. I seem to get jelly knees before i even tack up if i think about riding. Any tips on how to calm nerves? Xx

 

[Captain Bridget]

I can understand how you feel, I've been through it. Just do what you feel comfortable doing, be that getting to know your horse on the ground, walking around the school or just sitting on her in the school. If you can, have someone with you, they can always lead/lunge you if you feel unsafe. Just having someone to keep an eye on you can make you feel better. Go at the pace you want, do not allow anyone to rush you, when you are bored of what you are doing and finding it easy then you can move up. If you mare can be fizzy she may get bored, if you're just walking around make sure to keep her occupied with lots of circles, serpentines, leg yield etc. Try and relax, talk or sing, don't worry how daft you look! I used to be so nervous, now I'll go round the school chatting away to my horse, telling him what we're doing, if someone's watching, all sorts. Now I can laugh off his green moments, before they would have scared me. It's possible, it just takes time.

 

[Echo Bravo]

Yoga Large glass of whiskyOr have a friend on stand bye just give you moral surport and also point out your riding faults, mine does that when I'm riding my youngster.

 

[Jesss]

Thanks CB, im going to try and atleast get on her tomorow. Just to try little achievable goals each time. Just feel poo at the mo because ive only had her such a short amount if time and im already nervous of riding her.
Seems just such a shame with her just not doing anything

 

[Jesss]

Echo- large glass of whisky will probably most defiantly help!!!!

 

[soulfull]

just take it a few minutes at time

also is there someone else who will ride her for you? often watching them behave nicely for someone else is all it takes to get your confidence to do it

 

[Elsbells]

Don't beat yourself up over it for goodness sake, it's only been a few weeks after all and your not on some time schedule are you?

Get to know her. Take her out in hand. Befriend her and enjoy her. There's more to owning a horse and being owned by them than riding and when it feels right and only when you really, really want to, try again, but one step as quietly as you can, she'll appreciate it.

 

[Elsbells]

Don't beat yourself up over it for goodness sake, it's only been a few weeks after all and your not on some time schedule are you?

Get to know her. Take her out in hand. Befriend her and enjoy her. There's more to owning a horse and being owned by them than riding and when it feels right and only when you really, really want to, try again, but one step at a time and as quietly as you can, she'll appreciate it.

 

[Jesss]

Thanks everybody

 

[Syrah]

Don't beat yourself up over it for goodness sake, it's only been a few weeks after all and your not on some time schedule are you?

Get to know her. Take her out in hand. Befriend her and enjoy her. There's more to owning a horse and being owned by them than riding and when it feels right and only when you really, really want to, try again, but one step at a time and as quietly as you can, she'll appreciate it.

^^^^ This

Take it each step at a time. The suggestion to watch someone else ride and have someone with you is great too.

I'm going through exactly the same thing, not my mares fault at all but I've done all of the above and it's working.

 

[jeeve]

I would suggest that if you can get an instructor to help you, lessons are great confidence builders with the right instructor.

Secondly proceed at your own pace. If you just walk, or walk and trot in your rides until you get your confidence that is ok.

And finally, hopefully you will ask the people not to tie their horse to the arena.

 

[indie999]

I think you are doing fine your mare had a reason to go. If there wasnt a reason I would be nervous!

But when I got my horse due to the unknown(as it is) I did sometimes have someone come along with me particularly along the road just to be sure etc. Perhaps a lesson on her with a good instructor would help you and then you can have a good working session with her.

But good luck you didnt fall off and nothing else happened so try to be really positive I am sure if I got stung by a wasp or bitten I would have a reaction.

Remeber she was good as you went past just shame other one got her! go on enjoy her now.

 

[DipseyDeb]

^^^^ This

Take it each step at a time. The suggestion to watch someone else ride and have someone with you is great too.

I'm going through exactly the same thing, not my mares fault at all but I've done all of the above and it's working.

Same^^^^^
I had a recent MASSIVE crisis of confidence, I had an accident (not my boys fault...he spooked and I hadn't tighten my girth properly...stupid huh? but it resulted in me knocking my self out and being air lifted to hospital!! ) Any way after 30 years of riding I had my first major confidence issue...the first time I got on him when I was up and about again, I just froze and couldn't deal with it ( bless him, he is a dear and didn't deserve my reation)
I have a lovely YO, who is also my instructor, she suggested that she work with us both seperately, she worked with him, building on his confidence (he was quite shaken up by the whole affair) and then I had lesson with her on different horses while spending time on the ground with my boy.....Yesturday I rode him for the first time, with her there....and loved it...I got off and cried!!! It has taken me about 4 months to get to this stage, but as long as you don't put any time frame on it and enjoy every little step forward..then it does work.

 

[Jesss]

Quick update...
The gingernuts old mum asked to ride her today,obv i said ofcourse.
Anyway, the lesson was going all well.. Was watching with the dreaded jelly knees still but with every time my sexy horsey went past i got a bit more confident. By the end of the lesson i was wanting to get on!!!!! (I know it doesnt sound alot but it is for me) didnt get on her due to school being booked up for straight after but atleast its a start! Gave her lots of cuddles and kisses and a good groom really happy!!!!!!

 

[kinglouis]

Hypnotherapy - seems to work for the top riders?

 

[horseless jorge!]

Simple, if you don't want to ride, then don't. Lunge, or take her for a walk. Don't ride for a few days, I guarantee you'll have thought it over by then and you'll by dying to get on!!

 

[Piccy]

Take it one day at a time you don't need to rush, take little steps at your own pace and if possible have someone with you, I lost my confidence two years ago and it has taken me a long time to get it back but it is possible and a good thing to remember is she reacted to some genuine not just took off because she felt like it, you are both new to each other so nothing wrong in getting to know each other. Hope all goss well for you both

 

[TarantuLove]

Maybe lunge her before you ride to take the edge of her? I did this with my ex-racer who had had some time off due to me being injured.