Confidence issue...bit of a strange problem..

re: "When my trainer rides him she is very subtle but just asks ans asks and asks and gives him question after question and does not allow him to say no I cant. If that makes sense. Where as I am happier just getting ok work without all those questions, which I don't think will actually help him progress"

okay, i get you now. i think it's a case of making absolutely sure that you make it really obvious what he needs to do to get the pressure taken off, though, when you're riding him, so it doesn't get to volcano point. if he's never gone up with your trainer, she must ride him slightly differently, make it more obvious to him which way he should go to get the pressure taken off a bit.
fact is, this horse has gone up with you, big style, once. he has that in him. i won't pressurise that kind of horse the way i will the more biddable kind, it's all a case of feel and kidology.
when it comes down to it, he is your horse, and it is your neck, so i would do what you feel happy with until you feel more trusting in him (and vice versa), and then ask more. he won't deteriorate for being asked a little less of for a month or two... it'll give him confidence in you and in what you are doing together, which can only be a good thing. really hope that makes sense - it's not wimping out, it's not avoiding the issue, it's being smart.
i would much rather have a very clever and responsive horse like that on my side than against me, put it that way...
 
When he went up he was unbelievably fresh, we got through it and I honestly don't think he would do it again, when he did it all I was doing was asking him to slow his mad speeding trot a little, if anything I am too soft with my hands when I ask him anything (apparently) so think he would have done it who ever was on board that day.

He is very clever, which is half the problem, he can always work a way out of something, he instantly works out what you want then says no. I suppose I just have to carry on with what I am comfortable with at home for now

Thankyou for all your advice
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I would try TFT as it really works. Several members have had great success including myself. I have ridden all my life but last year my horse threw some dirty stops in and I fell off and lost confidence Sj. When I went into the ring I felt like jelly, my legs would not work and I could not ride how I know I can. TFT really sorted out a lot of these issues and the next day I upgraded my horse without any fears SJ.

http://www.jo-cooper.com/

You can discuss all the problems you have had including breaking your leg, rearing up and any other fears and I think you will find it really helps.
 
I can recommend TFT
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I think I still have the tapping sequence if you want it pm'ing just let me know
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I know with my schooling I have to be so careful of not putting too much pressure on myself to achieve this that or the other. So what my trainer can get on and my mare goes beautifully - I should bloomin hope so too as she has worked with horses all her life.

Go back to basics, it doesnt matter if you spend the whole session just walking! There is plenty to work on, could you try leg yielding .... etc?

Big hugs I had awful issues with hacking out and only by chipping away at it and TFT have I managed to sort it out.

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if have a similar prob- when i school my 4 year old at home i feel very twitchy- i am fine in lessons, hacking and xc schooling ect which seems bizarre to me.
I know it stems for a few really serious bucking and bronc'ing sessions we have had- which i have ridden throu but somehow i still have the sick feeling.
I ask my friend to stand in the middle and caht crap to me as it keeps my mind occupied- we generally man bash which keeps me thinking of other things

any ideas you have i am interested
 
Having had a few winters of riding my horse after work in winter in the dark in a menage completely surrounded by tigers my confidence was pretty shattered.

The best investment I made was to buy an MP3 player, load it up with my favorite music. I use it every time I ride, even at competitions in the warm up arena.

Its a complete distraction, I cant hear any spooky noises so dont tense up and my relaxed body absorbs any sudden movements from my horse.

She is so much more chilled out because of my lack of reaction during an pre spooks.

Highly recommend buying one.
 
I havn't read all the replies so sorry if I repeat but I would suggest instead of going somewhere else for your lessons, from now on have them at home ( if your trainer is willing to travel to you). Then you have someone experienced on the ground to help you out if you need it and after time all the positive experiences in that school will over ride the bad ones and you'll feel better about it.
Also if you are on your own don't ask anything big, just do basic things to begin with and maybe stick the radio or a cd on - it might take your mind off the panic?
 
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