Confidence Issues

Princess16

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So I'm progressing with my riding slowly but surely :D still struggling with the canter but this is just a nerves issue me thinks. It's so much faster than the trot albeit a more comfortable stance.

How do you get through your nerves when riding. Other than breathing obvs. Someone told me to sing as it not only calms you down but the horse too.

Any tips?
 

Shay

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My daughter spent about 2 years singing her way around SJ competitions. She got a bit of a reputation for it (She was about 8 when she started I think!!) but it does really help. Find a song you like - if you are musical it might help if it suits the rhythm - and sing it at the top of your voice. Embarrassing but effective!
 

LHIS

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It's quite a subjective thing I think in terms of what works for one person might not work for another. I'm the queen of confidence issues though, and I'm working on getting mine back but it's a long road and sadly not an overnight fix.
What works for me is - breathing exercises, visualisation, thinking positively (think about what you do want and not what you don't want), work on your position - make sure you are balanced and as 'anchored' as you can be, singing (forces you to breathe), saying out loud what you're going to do (makes you breathe and forces you to have some purpose rather than just ambling about).
 

Dougal9

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I can't canter for toffee at the minute on my new horse ..... So I'm giving myself a break from it and working on other stuff instead - poles/hacking etc, I think we can put too much pressure on ourselves to do something we think we should be doing which in turn just makes things worse. Not cantering for a while isn't the end of the world and I'm enjoying my riding more now knowing that I'm not expected to do it. I'm going to take my time and build up my confidence and enjoy my boy..... I was getting in such a state over it that I felt physically sick .... So give yourself a break for a while, and only try it when you feel ready to :)
 

Kima

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I think if you don't push yourself too much by thinking I 'should' be doing this or that, or comparing yourself to others it helps massively. That being said, it does help to push yourself a little so that you do progress, just take it at a pace that suits yourself and your horse. Just because someone else is doing something doesn't mean you have to. :)
 

applecart14

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I went for cognitive behaviour therapy for my competition nerves. Prior to that I would sit on my horse in the holding area before going into the ring to do a show jump round and I would be white as a sheet, heart racing, legs like jelly. I would hold my breath the whole way round and wish it was over. Then when we came out would want to go round again!

Having a few nasty falls, MRI, CT xrays, etc made me nervous. My horse was very spooky at fillers, and would be looking at things around the edge of the arena too, would shy at the drop of a hat and was very forwards going. Totally different now prior to his latest injury. Took a lot of courage, practice over grids and jumping smaller heights before I was confident doing upwards of a 1m.

You have to try and play the 'video tape' in your head, so it has a good outcome instead of a poor one, visualise you going clear and everyone clapping and the tannoy announcing you are in the placings. Once you can replay the film so it has a good outcome you are half way there.
 

Overread

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It can somewhat depend on the source of your lack of confidence as to what works; and its not abnormal to have multiple potential sources or to not have a clear idea what the sources are - thus be prepared to try a good few things; and try them well for a good duration to find what works for you.


Sometimes a lack of confidence in advancing to a "next level" or stage can be the result of a lack of confidence in your basic understanding and practice. As such you've got these worries about your normal performance which then leads you to panic and stress when you try to move beyond them.

Thus sometimes asking to go over old ground again and really polish up your basic skills in a well rounded approach can work. Especially if you've a good tutor/instructor who can provide proper reinforcement and motivation. IT would help to discuss the matter with them; say that your concerned and that you'd like to go over; like to recap and really polish those skills. You won't totally abandon doing little bits of more advanced stuff; but you're basically helping yourself to reinforce your basics.



Singing and music can help; they take part of your thinking mind away from thinking and help you to ease yourself of stress because you're not thinking of those things that scare/worry you


Sometimes you've also just got to do the thing that scares/stresses you. It's that "you don't get to be brave until you've done the thing that you need to be brave for to do". Confidence is sometimes like that in that you won't be confidence until you've actually done it so you can't go into it being confident in that area - that's why reinforcing the basics can help mask that etc...
 

MisterRex

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Singing definitely helps a lot of people, I personally find holding the horse's mane makes me feel a lot more comfortable- just a tiny lock of the mane and keep hold of the reins too! You could ask about your horse having a neck strap if you're still new to the canter, but holding a little of the mane can achieve the same thing.
When i'm panicking on horseback I have a terrible habit of looking down, so oddly enough if I raise my head up so i'm looking at something above my usual line of vision I find it easier to relax and calm. It's probably not good to do for too long if you're, say, jumping, but for a little Canter in an enclosed area raising my gaze above where I normally look gives me something else to focus on rather than how fast the horse is moving underneath me!
On the other end of the spectrum, focusing on your breathing is good, but listening to the horse's breathing helps me a little bit. If the horse is getting a little tired and is breathing enough for me to hear then I will listen, it's sort of a reminder that the living, breathing creature that's carrying you is working just as hard as you are :)
 

Princess16

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Singing definitely helps a lot of people, I personally find holding the horse's mane makes me feel a lot more comfortable- just a tiny lock of the mane and keep hold of the reins too! You could ask about your horse having a neck strap if you're still new to the canter, but holding a little of the mane can achieve the same thing.
When i'm panicking on horseback I have a terrible habit of looking down, so oddly enough if I raise my head up so i'm looking at something above my usual line of vision I find it easier to relax and calm. It's probably not good to do for too long if you're, say, jumping, but for a little Canter in an enclosed area raising my gaze above where I normally look gives me something else to focus on rather than how fast the horse is moving underneath me!
On the other end of the spectrum, focusing on your breathing is good, but listening to the horse's breathing helps me a little bit. If the horse is getting a little tired and is breathing enough for me to hear then I will listen, it's sort of a reminder that the living, breathing creature that's carrying you is working just as hard as you are :)

Thank you - never thought of it like that !
 
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