Confidence Issues

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Jellybeanz383

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I was wondering if somebody would be able to help me with my confidence issues. I can't afford a professional so I thought someone on here my be able to help. I currently work at a racing yard in Epsom on weekends, I do all yard duties and ride a quiet racehorse around the roads. I'm not allowed on the gallops due to my lack of confidence. I ride 4 or 5 different horses every week (show-jumper, ex-racehorse, riding/jumping pony). I can walk, trot, canter and jump with and without stirrups. I do have trouble with anxiety issues which has been brought on my school stress (currently in my last year of a-levels), I am managing this. I have been bucked off and I've had horses bolt with me so I know how to handle it; however, in the back of my mind I always think what if something happens. I'm always so focused on the what ifs, that I don't focus on the task at hand. I know that I need to not panic and stay calm, but I'm not really sure how to do this. I want to be a professional flat jockey and I'm going to the British Racing School in August to complete their foundation course and I want to sort out my confidence before I go. If anyone has any suggestions on how I can improve my confidence I would greatly appreciate it. I am happy to take on constructive criticism; however, if you could refrain from nasty comments, that would be great.

Thanks in advance
Jellybeanz383 :)
 
Jellybeanz383 said:
I do have trouble with anxiety issues which has been brought on my school stress (currently in my last year of a-levels), I am managing this.
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When you say you're managing your anxiety, have you received professional help (i.e. CBT/medication)? From what you've said, your tendency to worry about what ifs isn't just a riding-related issue so it wouldn't make sense to treat it in the same way as a confidence issue directly related to a particular horse-related incident.
 
I had 8 weeks of counselling last May before my first year of exams started, but I haven't had any since. I've thought about medication but I don't want to have to rely on pills to make me happier and more confident. I'm hoping that once I finish school things will improve a bit. I've also spoken to my teachers and we have put a plan in place to try to sort things out.
 
Firstly, I think you are doing really well already! I've had confidence issues in the past to the point were the panic builds so much I've dismounted even though the horse was perfectly calm and the potential problem completely in my mind. I can understand how you feel and applaud you for doing the sort of riding you are currently doing despite those feelings.
I don't normally go much on self help books but I did read one called "DARE" and it struck a chord with me. It talks about taking those panicky feelings and working with them in a sort of " bring it on!" type way. Not sure I'm explaining it particularly well but it was an interesting idea.
Good luck with the A Levels, its many many years since I did mine but I still remember the pressures involved. Make sure you find times to relax, even if its just for a short time here and there.
 
I don't have too much advice but just want to say that you're one step closer asking for help :) You sound like you're doing really well already. I wouldn't be ashamed or worried about taking pills if they work for you. Things like anxiety and depression affect people in different ways, and there's not always one solution. These things can be caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, so there is no shame in taking any medication to help you (if it helps) as they are sorting out the imbalance in your body.

If it affects your whole life go and speak to your GP again, there are some online tools you can use for free that can help with things like this, they should be able to recommend some :)

I've also seen confidence clinics for horse riders, you'd probably need to find a good one, but i've heard they can work quite well for people and stop them focusing on the 'what ifs' when riding.

Good luck with your A-levels! I remember doing mine and it is a stressful period of your life, like rhylis says, try and relax and don't just study study study constantly, take some time to enjoy yourself too :)
 
Rescue Remedy helps me. I'm a 'what if' sort of person too but the saying "Stop thinking about what could go wrong and start thinking about what could go right" helps me. I try and replace the bad 'what ifs' with good ones.
 
Have you tried any NLP recordings? There are some specifically for riding that might be worth a try - the one I tried was £15 I think.

Good luck, I know the feeling & it's horrible. You can do it!
 
I totally lost my confidence with my youngster when he started rearing! it turned out he was doing because he was in pain. That didn't help, even when he was better and I was bringing him back into work I spent a long time worrying that he was going to rear again!! and he did but actually he'd just worked out that if he reared I would back down and he could get away without doing any work! so in the end I had to just sit there and work through it! I was so scared but a year on I now have a horse that I can do pretty much anything I want to! he will never be a world beater as I worry about his issues coming back but he will do everything that I want him for, so all good!! but I tried paying people to ride him for me and that didn't help my confidence, it was just having someone on the ground encouraging me to do it, now I can do it on my own!

So go out there and go up the gallops, but maybe do it on a nice horse that you know won't bolt with you, rather than a race horse that will go at 1000mph
 
Try a book called the Chimp Paradox - I would highly recommend everyone on the planet reads this book! But it will certainly help you if you have anxious feelings in any walk of life - not just riding.

Edit just to say - Well done by the way for asking for help - it shows a kind of braveness that many don't have so I'm sure you can work through this :)
 
Yoga or tai chi - will help calm your mind and get you concentrating on the here and now rather than the what ifs.
 
There is a book by a guy called Peter Haynes, I found it quite useful, it's on kindal. He is an eventer. It's called Ride with Confidence. It's easy to read and broken in to easy sections:)
 
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