franki_rosewell
Member
I had a horse for 4 years who really wrecked my confidence jumping (he was not at all genuine, sharp & spooky even over just poles no fillers), and after a reality check from my instructor sold him last July. I used to compete at around 90cm in the pony club before I bought him, did a couple of BE's. I've never been ballsy or brave, but I was confident and comfortable at this height.
I now have my lovely confidence giving (in theory) mare, who hasn't put a foot wrong, isn't spooky and is so honest when I freeze or muck up - but I still get SO nervous jumping. It has improved from clamming up before any and every jump, to now just the ones I declare as "spooky" such as white/bright fillers & dressed XC. But I've had her almost a year and I didn't think it would take me this long to get my confidence back.
I've been doing BE80's (4th one is coming up on Saturday), but I get into the SJ or XC and get sooo nervous, and I have it in my head on "spooky" jumps to do them from trot - because if I'm going slower I'm less likely to fall off.... I know, totally stupid not to mention giving my horse the ok to stop or run out (which she will do, but not in a nasty or sharp way, only ever because I sat there and did nothing) because I've already told her its totally terrifying. I know its wrong and kick myself afterwards but I just go blank during the round.
Anyway, sorry for long winded post. I'm just hoping there are people out there who have been where I am, stuck by their noble steeds and their chosen discipline, and have come out of the dark cloud of fear, unscathed and loving riding and competing like they used to. Or do I need another reality check?!
I now have my lovely confidence giving (in theory) mare, who hasn't put a foot wrong, isn't spooky and is so honest when I freeze or muck up - but I still get SO nervous jumping. It has improved from clamming up before any and every jump, to now just the ones I declare as "spooky" such as white/bright fillers & dressed XC. But I've had her almost a year and I didn't think it would take me this long to get my confidence back.
I've been doing BE80's (4th one is coming up on Saturday), but I get into the SJ or XC and get sooo nervous, and I have it in my head on "spooky" jumps to do them from trot - because if I'm going slower I'm less likely to fall off.... I know, totally stupid not to mention giving my horse the ok to stop or run out (which she will do, but not in a nasty or sharp way, only ever because I sat there and did nothing) because I've already told her its totally terrifying. I know its wrong and kick myself afterwards but I just go blank during the round.
Anyway, sorry for long winded post. I'm just hoping there are people out there who have been where I am, stuck by their noble steeds and their chosen discipline, and have come out of the dark cloud of fear, unscathed and loving riding and competing like they used to. Or do I need another reality check?!
