Confidence success stories...

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DipseyDeb

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Having recently suffered a huge crisis of confidence (nasty accident resulting in being airlifted to hospital) I'm slowly beginning to work through it with the help of a fantastic YO and friend whose help has been invaluable. I can feel my confidence starting to come back and am starting to enjoy riding my boy again. But I'm wandering whether it will return completely....has anyone experienced something similar, and have found that strength again or have you remained alittle nervous!!
 
I too am having a confidence crisis, so unfortunately not really able to offer many words of wisdom!
Fell off my mare late last year ended up in ambulance, back board neck board a&e with a broken coccyx. Taken months to heal, still going to osteopath sessions and still feeling pain.
On the ground im perfectly fine with my horse, but very cautious about riding her. This week ive taken the bull by the horns and "rode" her three times. By ride, i mean get on after she has been schooled and walked and trotted for 10mins. I rather proud of myself, as it is quite painful to ride and im very nervous, so my tip is to take it slow and dont let any one rush you!!
Ive been pottering about, but im just getting myself get used to it, as all my musles are gone, and it has caused my position to be terrible!!

Good luck though, keep at it, and dont rush yourself :)
 
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Well my 'comeback' followed far less severe circumstances than mentioned by both Dipseydeb and jenz87; however, Ellie and I have come an awful long way in the last 18 months so I will share anyway :)

I've never been the bravest rider in the world, but Ellie gave me amazing confidence, and together we did things I never thought possible. From 2000-2004 we competed up to Newcomers/1.15 BSJA, and had an amazing time :) But then it all went a bit wrong; we had a crashing fall during a lesson, in which Ellie turned right over and landed on top of me :( Although we got back to jumping once I had recovered from my broken hand, my nerve was never the same - I ended up having what I can only think of now as panic attacks before going into the ring; I'd make myself feel physically sick just at the thought of jumping. So one day I just decided to give it all up; for the next six years, Ellie and I became mere happy hackers, and I swore I'd never jump again.

That all changed when we moved to our new yard in the autumn of 2009! We made some amazing friends, who soon persuaded me to 'follow them round' some of the tiny XC fences (Ellie had never done XC before so it was all new for us!) Both my confidence and Ellie's enjoyment began to soar, and last spring we booked ourselves into a training clinic at a local XC course. Since then, we've had a great time - we've been hunting, done numerous ODEs and hunter trials, and even had a stab at indoor show jumping again (and won on our first attempt...!)

The trick is to not force yourself. Don't rush into anything; instead, just enjoy your horse and enjoy doing things that you feel comfortable with. Little steps, bit by bit. And having support of others is invaluable too :)
 
Not quite the same as mine was caused by a bad instructor but I would not ride infront of any one or ride any horses that I hadnt ridden before. I'm now out and about at pony club at all the rallys I can get to and have just done camp with loads of people watching (you all know what pony club mums have a reputation for ;)) was terrefied about my first rally with them and came on here asking for advice but I'm so glad I went my boy has made loads of progress and I now ride infront of the instructors there without being a mess. I compete as much as possible but still get nervous about dressage, its the being judged thing and asking for an opinon that gets me, jumping however I love and dont have a care about any one else. I was terrefied of going to have a lesson with any instructor as I didnt think I was good enough for them and was quite frankly expecing to be told to get off as I couldnt ride. But my instructor at home is fab and has done wonders for my head and has taken me out with her and put me on other peoples horses even though I hated the idea of them watching me.
So yes it is possible, although my situation was possibly slightly diffrent.
 
Not for any good reason like yours or the others, but I've always been a nervous jumper. Gone through phases over the years, getting up to decent fences on adrenaline but still petrified of the thought of the first x pole etc. Hit the bottom when I was having to force myself to jump a 6inch x pole at the end of every session just to prove to myself that jumping wasn't fatal. Then spent a lot of time with a good instructor and a couple of pretty amazing work ponies (I went from jumping 17h horses to 14h ponies, best choice ever!) and got a lot more relaxed, starting having lessons at a large exam centre for BHS exams, was pretty brave. Then had a horse at the centre do my worst nightmare and put in a filthy stop with me, which I wasn't expecting. Got back on, horse did it again, stayed on that one!

Went home and made myself jump the mare I was working with at the time once or twice, and then that was it for between 6 months and a year. Flat work only. Sold the mare and carried on riding the boy that I teach with so jumps in lessons etc all the time and doesn't need me to provide his variety. During that time I had a lot of things go my way in other walks of life, horsey and non horsey, and was feeling confident in myself. Our visiting instructor one day last month put up an x pole, which we popped without any butterflies from me, then put up a 2nd part, and so on. And somebody, who clearly wasn't me, carried on coming round and round without a single collywobble or doubt, or moment of abandoning the horse at the last minute in terror, until we were jumping bloody wide 3ft high spreads, which look plenty big enough from a 14h! I seriously think it's just because I had such a 'I can do anything' attitude at that point in time.

So do what you're doing, chill, don't push it until the day when you've got a big grin on your face and you feel a million dollars, then push it and it'll take care of itself ;)
 
So sorry to hear about your accident but hopefully I can give you some hope although I will be touching wood throughout this post!

I had an accident on the 14th July last year that also resulted in me being airlifted to hospital with suspected head injury, broken pelvis, jaw etc... It turned out I was very lucky and no breaks but I did have a ruptured spleen.

My mare was looked after by my friend and her instructor until 8 weeks after my accident when I moved her to a new yard (we had moved to Instructors temporarily as my friend couldn't bring herself to ride again at the field we'd rented). The new yard was the best thing that ever happened to me as the support I have had has made the rest of this post possible.

As soon as I was able to start riding an NVQ student at the yard got on Tilly to show me she wasn't going to explode and slowly I started schooling her. Then over the next couple of months she had some issues with her back so I had to stop riding again and then I became petrified to get on her. I ended up in tears to one of the YMs and saying I was going to have to sell her. So Pam (YM) basically set up a plan to get us back together again. She started riding Tilly for me and I started riding and hacking (!) her 2 gorgeous, steady dales ponies, one of whom was only 4!

I then started riding Tilly and Pam would stay with me or Kerry (other YM) gave me lessons and eventually I felt able to ride her round the village with Kerry on foot. Then Pam took me for a couple of hacks with her on one of her boys in case I got scared and we needed to swap over and I also went out with another friend on Kerry's super safe cob so we always had a nanny. I started jumping again and even had a fall but got back on none the worse ( I now wear an air vest ).

Then a couple of months ago I was out with my friend and her super safe cob took objection to some red and white flowers and spun not fast and she was only walking but it scared me to death as that is what happened when I had my accident. I froze, Tilly became petrified and although I managed to finish the hack I felt that I hadn't moved on at all.

For a week I was crying again and so scared to ride and started talking to Pam again about having to sell my beloved horse. Then on the anniversary of my accident I made a decision I either get on with it and ride my horse like I know I can and she needs me to or I sell her. I know I will never sell her so it had to be the first option.

Now 3 weeks later I have been hacking twice a week in groups of up to 5 and been over to the woods with my friend which I thought I would never do. Tilly hasn't been an easy ride but I have just got on with it and ridden her and she is back to her old self still a little spooky but thats her and she is actually worse in the school than on a hack!!

I feel like I can finally enjoy my horse and my riding is improving no end. I even cantered on a hack on Friday for the first time :)

I don't know whether I will ever get to compete at showjumping which was my aim when I bought Tilly but everyday we get a step nearer to my dream.

I'm sorry this is long but I hope it does give you hope that you can get there xx
 
I too have confidence issues after a nasty fall a couple of years ago and I've not been right since but am now starting to get it all back with my new lad, I am getting loads better as each day goes by.

I used to get on any horse and not be afraid, handle any horse incl stallions, youngsters that just want to play with you whilst on way to field to the calmest of them, until I had my nasty accident I was afriad to handle any horse....this really wound me up.

BUT.... I believe you can get your confidence back with the right horse, time patience and people around you to help and support you in all situations.

Your certainly not alone
 
I have said this story many times so will condense it. :)

I was bolted with across open moors on a horse I was looking at to buy. This understandbly knocked me.

After lots of lunge lessons and riding horse I felt safe on I gradually started riding more tricky horses until I reached the point where I can ride any horse in an enclosed space.

I then started getting braver in open spaces. Taking easy plods out on hacks and just walking in fields until I began feeling more confident trotting and cantering in them.

I then started taking trickier horses in fields and then one day I bit teh bullet and took my horse xc schooling and loved every second of it.

I haven't quite got the nerve to compete at xc YET but hopefully next year I'll be flying. It's taken 2 years to get to this point.

It's a very slow and long process regaining confidence but is doable. Best of luck to everyone who has had a confidence knock. :D
 
Can I just also add, as lots of people have mentioned, use that good friend or good instructor or whoever as much as you need to. I teach, and I enjoy teaching nervous riders, and have made a real difference to a few people. But I sure as hell couldn't do it to myself, I've really needed the people who say/do the right things at the right times to push you with no holds barred when you need pushing, and give you something to lean on when that's what you need.

I've also been incredibly lucky to have the ride on a wonderful, wonderful pony who's been my 'first' everything, clear round comp, XC schooling etc - the only thing he wasn't was my first 'serious' showing experience as I ended up with a more 'correct' one for that. And obviously I was just a nervous nelly, I didn't have the baggage of a serious accident to cope with.
 
Thank you to everyone for your replies.....it definately helps to hear of other people who have had issues with confidence.....without my YO, I certainly couldn't have got to the stage I'm at now (walk and trot...WOW) but I know I'll get there!! :)
 
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