Confidence workshop

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LHIS

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I've always struggled with the niggling 'what ifs' and sometimes they are so crippling they stop me doing what I had planned. When I saw a confidence workshop advertised on a Facebook group I follow I was intrigued, and after speaking to the lady who runs it I've booked on and I go tomorrow.
Not sure what to expect, but I'm going with an open mind and I hope I can adapt my way of thinking to tackle my nerves when they strike.
Has anyone ever attended something similar?
I'll post an update tomorrow evening with how it went. Wish me luck! :)
 
Your post is pretty much me and in the end if Anything happens I always end up dealing with it without thinking but hate that I constantly think of what ifs and try and talk myself out of things. Please report back id love to hear how it goes 😊
 
AppyLover said:
Your post is pretty much me and in the end if Anything happens I always end up dealing with it without thinking but hate that I constantly think of what ifs and try and talk myself out of things. Please report back id love to hear how it goes 😊
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I am the same - took my 5yo for our third ever hack (alone) a few days ago and he spooked (stopped, looked at it, jumped sideways, then trotted past it) at a horse eating builders merchants 1 tonne sand bag thing - dealt with it without incident and was fine. When put on the spot I'm usually fine - but I'd give anything to banish my nerves once and for all! :)
 
LHIS said:
I am the same - took my 5yo for our third ever hack (alone) a few days ago and he spooked (stopped, looked at it, jumped sideways, then trotted past it) at a horse eating builders merchants 1 tonne sand bag thing - dealt with it without incident and was fine. When put on the spot I'm usually fine - but I'd give anything to banish my nerves once and for all! :)
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I haven't got to the riding part yet with him he just turned 2 and a half, 90% of the time is an Angel when leading etc (Can be a bit of a dick in his field sometimes but I know he's doing it to try and push the boundaries or is down to boredom but he gets put in his place pretty quick and then behaves) but 10% he can turn into a helium balloon on a string lol (Normally in front of others that I'd prefer to not see him acting like a moron haha) I'm hoping getting him out to see the world a little on walks soon will keep his mind occupied :)
 
I asked for help from someone re. some confidence issues I had when trying to get my trad cob to hack solo: "trying" being the operative word because his behaviour was such that my confidence had virtually shrivelled up.

The hardest part is asking for help; once you've acknowledged your need for more "confidence", you're well on the way to getting there.

You need to be prepared to change the way you look at things and the way you do things. It might be a big tweak, it might be something very small, but you need that willingness to try a different approach, plus TOTAL and absolute confidence in your tutor that they will encourage you to push for something you've never done before perhaps, whilst at the same time allowing you to feel "safe". That is the important thing, getting that balance right.

Good luck anyway!
 
Ok here goes (full write up on my blog - but I've copied and pasted to here)...

I have never been a brave rider, nor would I describe myself as a naturally brave person in general. However, unlike others who can attribute their loss of confidence to a single event, or maybe a couple, I have never really had any bad accidents. I’ve fallen off a handful of times (including throwing myself off a bolting pony whilst on holiday in France, aged 13/14) and have always been careful and stay within my comfort zones. My issues have developed in the past few years – I took a break from riding in my early twenties, and I think it is this break that allowed my nerves to take hold now that I’ve come back to riding. I find my nerves frustrating, upsetting and sometimes completely overwhelming. But I am so ready to tackle them and be the rider I used to be.

The workshop started at 10am and I made sure I went with an open mind as elements of the workshop would include meditation and hypnotherapy techniques. Upon arriving we each introduced ourselves and our teacher, Amanda, started by asking us each to explain what we wanted to gain from the session. When I was asked, I was immediately hit by a wave of emotion and I struggled to get my words out – a fantastic start. After a couple of seconds I managed to squeak ‘I want to be able to ride my pony and smile whilst I’m doing it’ whilst searching frantically for a tissue. Another lady in the workshop was similar to me in her reaction to being asked to explain, which I found comforting knowing I wasn’t the only one who felt like this.

After stemming the water works Amanda started to explain what we would cover that day – identifying what can cause nerves, and how to tackle them using different methods. Below is a photo of our brain storming board with the ideas we came up with.

We started with a visualisation exercise which allowed you to go into a trance state, Amanda talked us through the exercise whilst we each tried to imagine ourselves doing what she described. I won’t go into a lot of detail here as I don’t want to say too much, but the aim of the exercise was to let go of negative thoughts. I found this exercise beneficial, and surprised myself because I was able to stay on task and my mind didn’t drift.

Next we learnt about dealing with past trauma. The aim of this exercise was to change the way you think about a past negative experience, we did this by changing the characters to cartoon characters, adding a familiar and light-hearted sound track and making the event an amusing one, in the aim of changing our memory of the event. I was able to do this, but as I haven’t had many traumatic experiences whilst riding I’m not sure if this particular exercise applied to me. However, should anything happen in the future, I will try this technique to change how I think of it.

Next we learnt about how to set ourselves up to succeed – and the key to this is planning, so when we try something with our horses we are prepared as we can be. For me, my next step is riding Pinto on a hack that is different to our usual short route. I would do this by walking the route with him first, making sure I had support (my instructor), and to use the Anchoring techniques if and when any nerves struck.

We then went on to talk about Anchoring – this is when you think of a time when you experienced the feeling to wish to replicate. We then had to take ourselves back to that moment and immerse ourselves in the memory – at the peak of the memory when the feeling you’re trying to replicate is at it’s most strong you create a link with a physical thing – touching something, saying a word, humming a tune (the trigger). To make the link strong we had the repeat the exercise a few times, then on our trigger we could access the feeling to dispel any negative feelings. When out riding you could make the trigger be a word, phrase, song or physical item, like a ribbon tied to a D-ring on the saddle. I picked happiness as the feeling I wanted to replicate, as this feeling would override any nerves. I chose to think about my wedding day as I already have a strong anchoring to this event, I need only to hear the opening bar of the one of the songs that was played at the wedding and a wave of sheer happiness sweeps over me.

We finished with a 30 minute meditation and hypnotherapy session, Amanda talked us through a scenario, then invited us to visualise ourselves doing the thing we were each aiming for. I was hacking in an open space with Pinto, enjoying the sunshine and countryside around us. I found this exercise the most effective, which surprised me as I would describe myself as dubious of hypnotherapy, and have never succeeded in attempts at meditation. Amanda told me that I was with her the whole time, and I ‘woke’ with happy tears on my cheeks. I will definitely try this technique again.

At the end of the session we said our thank you’s and goodbyes, and I headed to the yard. My pony was waiting for me and I gave him a cuddle and kiss. My instructor encouraged me to go for a ride and after warming him up in the school on long lines I got on and we rode down to the field about 5 mins walk away. A great end to what I hope is a turning point for me.

P.s I would describe my nerves whilst riding Pinto this evening as minimal. We had polos to celebrate.
 
Coblover63 said:
Hello, I just wondered whether this course turned out to be a big help to you as it is nearly a year ago now? How is your confidence these days?
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I was just thinking this the other day that it's coming up to a year!
The weeks following the course I made sure I used the techniques I had learnt and did see an improvement. Then winter came and I didn't ride for nearly 4 weeks! That did me no good. I've been working really hard on my riding and I'm pleased to report I am feeling SO much better now. I feel like I'm pretty much back where I was pre confidence crisis. I must say I have never been a fearless rider, I'm just not like that as a person, however I am riding by myself and in company happily. Don't get me wrong we have a lot of work to do, but the difference is amazing and both pony and I are so much happier. I'm not dreading winter and plan to just get on with it. :)
 
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