Confidence

T

TheShark

Well-Known Member
Joined
16 July 2009
Messages
1,259
Location
Bucks
Visit site
Does anyone else lose confidence in the saddle when other areas of your life are going wrong?

Superficially I have been really pleased with my work in lessons recently.I'm fairly novicey as I had ten years away from riding and forgot EVERYTHING! A few examples are that;

Been doing a bit of jumping on an unconfident horse with success for both of us

Feel I'm really gaining good control eg bossy horse insists on canter before I am ready and
I kept full control and cantered when I wanted to

Also, got tanked of with in the school and managed to stop and regain composure, bring horse back down to earth without panicking etc

Rode same horse that tanked of with me in the field (he tried to run off in canter but again I managed to stop this and go on to do a nice controlled canter)
All basic stuff, I know, but they should be building confidence I think?

So on the surface I am riding better etc but I seem to feel more nervous. I think it is because I got made redundant (non-horsy) and had a really horrible confidence-breaking interview the other week and ever since have felt a bit funny when riding. Been trying to ignore it but I'm worried it'll get the better of me and transit to the the dobbins.

Does this happen to anyone else. It's completely non-riding related but comes to the fore when I'm in the saddle?

Anyone else get his or am I a dumb mare!?
 
Your not the only one this happens to, it's happened to me a fair few times, including death of family members, job worries, relationship break downs ect, and I know why it happens, it's because horses are the one thing that I am truely passionate about and I'm terrified somethings going to stop me riding, but also because I often use my time in the saddle to relax and think because it's my 'safe place'

Does that make sense?
 
Yes it does, thank you Benji.

Have been thinking about it and I wonder if i'm linking stuff because the one thing I really want to do before I die is have my own horse to build a relationship with and do fun stuff with, and, without a job that is impossible.

So maybe I'm self-sabotaging. If that makes sense? Probably not.

Thanks for your comment
 
Poor old you, being made redundant is a horrible enough experience - why on earth would and employer want to make someone they were intereviewing feel so bad about themselves is a bit beyond me. I've been intereviewing new staff a lot recently as we are expanding and taking on new staff and I try and make them all feel at ease. I am sure the right job will come along soon. What do you do?

If its any consolation, in my professional life, I am having to go through a very unpleasant expperience, which I dont want to discuss on an open form, matters are taking their time to sort and whenver things happen its distressing. I do find that I get very stressy with my lad, even though he is as safe as houses. I worry if he spooks, and generally get upset about it. I dont know why - he's a good boy and he wouldnt do anything to hurt me. I think its all down to our emotions sometimes and when you are like it, I have learned to be kind to myself. You sound like you are having lessons, rather than on your own horse, so correct me if I am wrong. Might be worth explaining to your instructor how you are feeling before a lesson then.

Good luck with the job search.
 
Thanks Theory - I'm sorry you are having a bad time too. I hope it sorts itself out soon.

Nice to hear there are some nice interviewers out there! I'm a journalist (mostly working in b2b publications in the features dept) and they guy who intyerviewed me was very local newspaperish so he didn't really value my skills and experience - and it showed.

Good luck with your issue x
 
Not sure if this makes sense either. I had riding lessons for 12 months before I bought my horse - was nervous but felt safe and fairly confident within the riding school bubble - it was just me, the riding instructor and the horse. I now have my own horse and have lost all confidence and can't bring myself to ride her again. I was talking to my OH last night with the realisation that really I am kidding myself owning a horse, I am just too nervous with her. His reply was in his opinion I worry too much, and I know it, but as a mum of a insulin diabetic, mum of a 16 yr old about to take his gcse and who has hated school throught his school life, a wife of a farmer who has waves of depression but won't acknowledge the fact, being a full time farm secretary where stress levels can peak often, and having inlaws living next door; Owning a horse was for me but it is just not working out, and that makes me so sad. On a slightly more positive note I have found someone who will school my horse for me so all is not lost.

Sorry to take over the post
 
I had a bit of a blip a few months back, university work got very stressful (think dissertation + 3 essays and a poster handed in in the space of 5 weeks) and I was constantly exhausted because we were caring for my aunt with dementia who was living with us from October '09 to late Feb '10. I can't really describe what happened but I started to ride like a sack of potatoes, very very tense especially with my hands and I just couldn't relax myself. Everything seemed to get better once uni work was handed in and great aunt went into a nursing home (finally got some sleep) and I got enthusiasm back again, relaxed a lot more and have really been getting somewhere with riding... schooling is coming along nicely and we're jumping jumps I'd never have dreamt we'd be doing 3 months ago.

Most people see horses as an enjoyable hobby... but when things in life outside of the horses go wrong it can change your whole mindset/attitude subconsciously... always focus on the good things that came out of every session, however small they are, and treat the start of each session as a new leaf, forget what happened the previous day. Thinking like that really helped me :)
 
Yes...happened to me too...I went through a few problems, stresses, health issues etc a couple of years back and also started to find that whenever I went into trot on my horse I would get what felt like butterflies in my stomach...over the course of a couple of weeks this got so bad and the butterflies were so strong a reaction that they were making me feel physically sick and nauseous (sp). I was fine in walk and it took several weeks to iron the problem out by doing walking and strides of half a dozen in trot and then back to walk...and learning to be very relaxed when I was riding too.
I hope all turns out well for you with your job etc.
 
Thanks Twizzel and Pottamus. I'm glad it isn't just me.

Margaret B - sorry your confidence has gone. I certainly hope you find it again so you can enjoy your horse and help you relax away from the stresses of your everyday life. Best of luck with everything. xx
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top