confidence ;-(

cassie summers

cassie summers

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long story short,i had a horse who passed away last year he was a absolute sod and in the end distroyed my confidence and i didnt ride him for 2 years i just got a sharer anyway i started riding him again just before he died but i never trusted him,then i bought my mare totally unspoilt as had been a brood mare she is 8 years old so i slowly backed her she is amazing to hack out doesnt have a bad bone she is very honest but she hates the school especially our rubber school so yesterday i was going to take her out for a hack i have a new saddle so i had adjusted my stirrup leathers which because new are really hard to adjust and suddenly i just lost it started shaking and crying and became really scared i just went to pot my mare had done nothing wrong she just stood there but i had to get someone to hold her i am 51 have been riding all my life but my nerves just seem to get the better of me now maybe it has something to do with getting old
 
I didn't recommend anything I'm afraid.

I was just able to point out that it has nothing at all to do with horses or loosing your nerve. Only help it might me is telling the OP she is not alone and it does get better.
 
I was out with a group of riding friends (but not riding) earlier this week and we had a discussion about this - we're nearly all at "that" age and it does have some weird effects - don't push yourself too hard and it will get better.
Me, I've been to the docs this week and am now feeling much more like my normal self - OH is thinking about throwing my new tablets away as he was getting to like not living with a whirlwind...
 
cassie summers said:
we do and yes she was very helpful its an age thing we girls will all go through it some easier than others :)
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I'm a bit younger Cassie but being fully signed up to the flushes n' feeling foolish club, your lovely sounding horse was the last thing I thought of as a reason for your *ahem* melty moment... :D

She sounds lovely and you're doing fantastically well after taking such a confidence knock... Take care and hang onto the sense of humour... x
 
i also think because i am a "fatty" and i am at a stressage yard and they are all lovely but all thin on their elegant horses then me and Cassie looking like we are off to war both bouncing about and then feeling self concious and then that knocks your confidence and then i go into melt down luckly for me Cassie doent pick up on my melt downs which is good as she can be a bit spooky maybe we should set up a "M" club lol
 
LOL I think we need an "I dont fit in on my yard " one too.

Dont worry about the yard. I'm on a yard where people event, showjump do stressage. My daughter used to show two of ours, but I have always been an embarrassment to her.

Me and the oldie just liked to bomb around the fields. The only time we went in the schools was when one was flooded. He likes to play trotting through the water :D :D

I have even been known to ride around the yard with a Parelli headcollar and bareback :D

Who cares as long as your horse is looked after and you enjoy it. We pay a lot out, it should be fun.
 
rockysmum said:
LOL I think we need an "I dont fit in on my yard " one too.

Dont worry about the yard. I'm on a yard where people event, showjump do stressage. My daughter used to show two of ours, but I have always been an embarrassment to her.

Me and the oldie just liked to bomb around the fields. The only time we went in the schools was when one was flooded. He likes to play trotting through the water :D :D

I have even been known to ride around the yard with a Parelli headcollar and bareback :D

Who cares as long as your horse is looked after and you enjoy it. We pay a lot out, it should be fun.
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haha sounds just like me though i am well known at the yard for "if you dont want to hear my opnion then dont ask it as you may not like it" so i think they were shocked when i started crying yesterday as i am usually quite happy and matter of fact but sometimes it just gets to me
 
cassie summers said:
i also think because i am a "fatty" and i am at a stressage yard and they are all lovely but all thin on their elegant horses then me and Cassie looking like we are off to war both bouncing about and then feeling self concious and then that knocks your confidence and then i go into melt down luckly for me Cassie doent pick up on my melt downs which is good as she can be a bit spooky maybe we should set up a "M" club lol
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Oh god I can relate to this to..feel like if your face fits and mine doesn't..I ride late in the evening so no one can watch and feel like a complete novice again trying to ride a mahoosive trot with tearful low confidence episodes. Don't get me wrong I've never been without some level of nerves but this is ridiculous. I've burst into tears in lessons and made a right tw*t of myself.
 
May I say that I think I could fit in here. I have just moved yards and have always ridden western style. Well, no western riders on new yard so am having lessons to learn English on my own horse. I am sure I am the laughing stock with a bit of pity thrown in. I too have had confidence issues in the past, tears etc. At least the only way is up for me. My horse has been very patient so far and my instructor.

Anyway, moral of story OP don't give up you can do it.
 
xxMozlarxx said:
Oh god I can relate to this to..feel like if your face fits and mine doesn't..I ride late in the evening so no one can watch and feel like a complete novice again trying to ride a mahoosive trot with tearful low confidence episodes. Don't get me wrong I've never been without some level of nerves but this is ridiculous. I've burst into tears in lessons and made a right tw*t of myself.
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So very true i am very much a "you either like me or hate me person" and the ones who dont like me would have a good laugh at my misfortune though luckly i am liked more and even though i may not be the best riderr i have a wealth of experience on the ground and for some reason horses like me i seem to keep them calm i am hoping to have a lesson next week when the yard is quiet lucky for me the school is away from the yard so they would have to actually walk over to watch and to be quiet honest i would happily tell them to piss off if they are coming to have a laugh after all i spend about 400 per month on her so i want to enjoy her,why is it that when i was a teenager i would ride any nutter and now i am 50 odd i poop my pants lol
 
LOL I think we need to keep this clique/cult/taliban going.

You all need to get to the stage I am now at.

I really dont give a ***** what anyone thinks anymore.

I ride if I feel like it, dont always bother with tack, have even been seen to ride with a Parelli headcollar (not that I understand the purpose of it)

I'm also fatter than I want to be, dont bend in the right places and need a mounting block due to my bad back.

I cant see the point in riding round in circles practicing god knows what. I might have known what it was years ago, but long since gave up caring. I haven't had a lesson since I was inspired to do BHS exams about 15 years ago, that put me off for life :D :D

If anyone wants to make snide remarks, bring it on, my horses are happy and well cared for, and I love them to bits.

Whats so wrong with our way of doing things anyway. When I was younger and fitter I had far better things to do with my time than poncing around a yard making other people feel bad. What are these people going to be like when they get to our age :D :D

By the way, no-one on my yard behaves like that, to my face anyway :D
 
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rockysmum said:
LOL I think we need to keep this clique/cult/taliban going.

You all need to get to the stage I am now at.

I really dont give a ***** what anyone thinks anymore.

I ride if I feel like it, dont always bother with tack, have even been seen to ride with a Parelli headcollar (not that I understand the purpose of it)

I'm also fatter than I want to be, dont bend in the right places and need a mounting block due to my bad back.

I cant see the point in riding round in circles practicing god knows what. I might have known what it was years ago, but long since gave up caring. I haven't had a lesson since I was inspired to do BHS exams about 15 years ago, that put me off for life :D :D

If anyone wants to make snide remarks, bring it on, my horses are happy and well cared for, and I love them to bits.

Whats so wrong with our way of doing things anyway. When I was younger and fitter I had far better things to do with my time than poncing around a yard making other people feel bad. What are these people going to be like when they get to our age :D :D

By the way, no-one on my yard behaves like that, to my face anyway :D
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ha ha you must be my sister from leeds as we sound the same my head stone will say "she really didnt give a ******" lol we need our own clique
 
cassie summers said:
So very true i am very much a "you either like me or hate me person" and the ones who dont like me would have a good laugh at my misfortune though luckly i am liked more and even though i may not be the best riderr i have a wealth of experience on the ground and for some reason horses like me i seem to keep them calm i am hoping to have a lesson next week when the yard is quiet lucky for me the school is away from the yard so they would have to actually walk over to watch and to be quiet honest i would happily tell them to piss off if they are coming to have a laugh after all i spend about 400 per month on her so i want to enjoy her,why is it that when i was a teenager i would ride any nutter and now i am 50 odd i poop my pants lol
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I can relate to this as well, I think the people I get on with tend to be genuine types as I'm not very good with fakeness or BS. Trouble is I've got a new horse who I do want to do some stuff with, competitions etc, but it's taking far longer than I expected to even be able to get used to his massive paces, then add to that feeling bad about things and it's turning into a bit of a drag. I tacked him up on Saturday then sat on a hay net and cried, no reason, I wasn't nervous at all, just bloody teary. Horrid!
 
xxMozlarxx said:
I can relate to this as well, I think the people I get on with tend to be genuine types as I'm not very good with fakeness or BS. Trouble is I've got a new horse who I do want to do some stuff with, competitions etc, but it's taking far longer than I expected to even be able to get used to his massive paces, then add to that feeling bad about things and it's turning into a bit of a drag. I tacked him up on Saturday then sat on a hay net and cried, no reason, I wasn't nervous at all, just bloody teary. Horrid!
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yep thats what happened to me i tacked up then just had a mel down couldnt get my new stirrup leathers right as they were really stiff then it just turned into a disaster so have spent the last 3 days grooming her i have a sharer on the weekend so he took her out and he is a very novice rider but she is such a genuine girl just plods with him then my daughter in law took her for a blast around the common this afternoon then she is not a plod lol but Cassie wasnt broken when i got her last year have done 99% of it myself though much easier as she is 8 years old and picks up very quickly my old horse was a complete schoolmaster though a complete sod so i do miss the easy transitions into canter ect but we will get there good luck with your horse and enjoy your comps x
 
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