confidence

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RoyalSapphire

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ok so ive only just got a new pony called Scarlet, whos a 6yo cob. shes really great and has an amazing personality and will follow u round the field all day. but my confidence is shattered!!! I mean none excitant!!! Dead!!! I went out for a hack today and she was really good, it was windy and the river was high, but I asked her to stop and she did for about 2 seconds then fidgeted, reversed, danced about, etc. I would normaly be ok with this, yes something to work on but fine. I didn't relise how bad my confidence was, now the thought of riding scares me, but I love riding and I don't want to give up! Help, we have her on a 2 week trial and Its only been 3 days but I don't want to be too scared to get on which is what I'm heading for. :( :'( :'( :(
 
Take heart.

Every single person on this forum will have been where you are now. Or if not they will be! This happens to everyone at some point.

Take a deep breath and go back to what you are comfortable with for now. Don't push yourself - it won't help and you might scare her. It is difficult because you want to get out and test her in all situations as she is on trial - do you have a competent friend who would trial her for you? A good confidence giving instructor can help too.

If this doesn't settle shortly or becomes more intrusive there are books on gaining confidence as a rider. Some find NLP beneficial. there are been confidence courses you can go on. There is loads of help out there. Sometimes just knowing that you are not alone and that there is help if you need it can be enough.

You'll get there - good luck!
 
Can you go out with someone walking/cycling until you get to know each other?

Meanwhile I would also work on a stand command in hand which can be well used when on top ;).
 
Great advice above.

If it was as windy where you are as it was where I am today, then it wasn't an easy day for a horse to stand still, particularly a new pony, new to you and to your area. It's very common for wind to trigger the fidgets in horses anyway, so I wouldn't hold it against her but I do understand how it feels when your confidence abandons you. Try to get support in place before trying again. There's really no harm in asking for help ��.
 
I was with my mum and brother they were the ones posting the xmas cards. she wasn't naughty at all I just felt helpless/useless and it was so awful. my mum n I then took her round the field inhand for some exercise as we barely got down the road before i abandoned ship due to nervousness and went home but she kept trying to eat and shes too strong for me by myself. does anyone have any tips on how to regain confidence? I feel awful. I didn't know it was so bad then it just hit me when she barely did anything :( :(
 
She's young and new and it will take a while. Mine plays up when it's windy - if I use an ear bonnet it does stop her being so much of a pain.
 
I've been there (still am). I Got a new horse last Feb and suddenly found that I was terrified. I basically had to go back to lead rein. Also my husband would hop on before me and have a walk and trot around on her first to prove she won't kill me (he's actually a beginner, but is fearless). I took tiny little baby steps, often hanging onto my neck strap for dear life. I would set myself up to succeed so if she looked a bit too on her toes I didn't ride. I also got a good instructor. So fast forward 10 mths and did first solo hack last weekend (15 mins and husband on foot) , jumping cross poles and progressed from Intro to Prelim and achieving some decent marks, with a cabinet full of rosettes. As terrified as I was (still get nervous at times) I wanted more than anything to get my confidence back and enjoy my pony. We're not quite there yet but I'm loving our journey and looking back to see how we've progressed.
 
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