confidence???

[axe1312]

hi, i feel like i want to quit riding, i get this alot, but get over it. i just feel like im not good enough to ride. and that i cant do it. what do i do? im just a bad rider i know i am, and i dont seem to be getting better. yeah at some things. but my confidence knocks so easily.

 

[littleshetland]

Get some lessons would be the logical thing to do.

 

[Red-1]

Can you talk with your parents? Do you have a counsellor at school? Some schools have people trained in emotional literacy and they may be able to help with general confidence.

I seem to recollect you have an instructor? I would ask them at your next lesson what they think.

 

[bonny]

You know riding isn’t compulsory, it’s supposed to be fun especially when you are young. If you are comparing yourself to others, then stop or if you are having a general wobble then maybe riding just isn’t for you ?

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

If you are having lessons ask your instructor for things you can practice and focus on in between so you perfect them, it might even be some like a walk to trot transition or a square halt.

It takes your mind off other things that may bother you and gives you a goal.

 

[ponynutz]

If you didnt feel this way would you want to keep riding? If the answer is yes my answer would be talk to your instructor, find some friends to do fun things with (maybe even join a pony club??) and set yourself tiny goals like “kept my leg in the right position for 10 minutes” so you get a confidence boost every time you tick one off instead of kicking yourself when you dont immediately complete a large goal.

If the answer is no it might be an idea to quit.

 

[dottylottie]

if you feel like you’re not progressing, there’s no harm in trying with a different instructor - sometimes people don’t gel, and that’s okay!

 

[axe1312]

If you didnt feel this way would you want to keep riding? If the answer is yes my answer would be talk to your instructor, find some friends to do fun things with (maybe even join a pony club??) and set yourself tiny goals like “kept my leg in the right position for 10 minutes” so you get a confidence boost every time you tick one off instead of kicking yourself when you dont immediately complete a large goal.

If the answer is no it might be an idea to quit.

yes i would want to keep riding. my instructer knows my confidence is low, and does her best, but at the same time she knows i can do more and that its a mental block that stops me. im going to write a list of goals tonight. tomorrow im practising my sitting trot as its not great on jj, and today i practised my gallop position, no intention of galloping soon, but it felt amazing to do it in canter. im going to go over and over a small jump until i get it right. but it just makes me feel rubbish when i do something wrong when i know others can do it. it feels like i just havent got the talent everyone else has

 

[axe1312]

You know riding isn’t compulsory, it’s supposed to be fun especially when you are young. If you are comparing yourself to others, then stop or if you are having a general wobble then maybe riding just isn’t for you ?

it is so much fun to just ride, but i want to go further, and i dont think i can. my intructer said im capable, and that its a mental block that she is working on with me. but my mental health is really crap atm for everything. so i guess pushing myself doesnt help.

 

[axe1312]

if you feel like you’re not progressing, there’s no harm in trying with a different instructor - sometimes people don’t gel, and that’s okay!

ive gone from not being able to keep my feet in place in walk, to cantering round with my feet dead still. i am progressing physically. its the mental part im having trouble with.

 

[canteron]

ive gone from not being able to keep my feet in place in walk, to cantering round with my feet dead still. i am progressing physically. its the mental part im having trouble with.

Slow Down and focus on how far you have come and enjoy - that’s great progress and the slower you take the next steps the better rider you will be in the long run.

Maybe ask the instructor if you can practice some gymkhana games- bending poles, jumping off in trot, great fun and you have to focus on the task in hand and don’t have time to worry!! Google them to get ideas.

 

[nagblagger]

Instead of having a lesson go out for a hack, relax and enjoy a plod around, get back into enjoying the relationship with the horse in the countryside.

 

[MuddyMonster]

You don't have to be talented at something to enjoy it. If you are enjoying riding and being around horses, that's what matters the most

I'm not remotely close to being anything like Charlotte Dujardjin or Ros Canter or the even riders at the local pro yards I often meet as I'm neither brave enough or talented enough - but I can still improve and enjoy my hobby in my own way regardless of what other's are doing.

If you feel you might be struggling more widely with your mental health, definitely have a chat to someone like your parent's or teacher. There is help out there for you & might find it helps your riding.

 

[Kaylum]

You also need to understand the horse. Have you tried some ground work. I really wish riding schools offered this. It is so rewarding and helpful. For example is your horse supple on both sides. Are you helping your horse with its physical and mental state. There is so much more to horses than riding. This will also help your confidence. Do you know how the bit works and have you watched your horse move from the ground?

 

[dottylottie]

ive gone from not being able to keep my feet in place in walk, to cantering round with my feet dead still. i am progressing physically. its the mental part im having trouble with.

ah, im following! maybe seeing a sports psychologist could be helpful for you, to work on the mental side of things!

 

[axe1312]

You also need to understand the horse. Have you tried some ground work. I really wish riding schools offered this. It is so rewarding and helpful. For example is your horse supple on both sides. Are you helping your horse with its physical and mental state. There is so much more to horses than riding. This will also help your confidence. Do you know how the bit works and have you watched your horse move from the ground?

i have done ground work and have watched him a little, but never paid attention to the bit.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

ive gone from not being able to keep my feet in place in walk, to cantering round with my feet dead still. i am progressing physically. its the mental part im having trouble with.

Hey there is no shame in that I sometimes can't even get on one of mine some days, that's a mental block I have with the arena I use next door if it's busy I just can't do it stems from a bad accident I had in there I think.

 

[axe1312]

You don't have to be talented at something to enjoy it. If you are enjoying riding and being around horses, that's what matters the most

I'm not remotely close to being anything like Charlotte Dujardjin or Ros Canter or the even riders at the local pro yards I often meet as I'm neither brave enough or talented enough - but I can still improve and enjoy my hobby in my own way regardless of what other's are doing.

If you feel you might be struggling more widely with your mental health, definitely have a chat to someone like your parent's or teacher. There is help out there for you & might find it helps your riding.

i have spoken to people, im not getting much help for it. theres not much out there. im trying my best to enjoy it, i loved my ride today, but i had a lesson on a school horse to practice jumping, and i just cant get the timing right, i cant sit up after, i either have too much or not enough energy. ive been jumping for a year, some people have mastered it in that time and i still cant do a cross pole without hitting my head on the horse. it doesnt help that my instructer knows she needs to push me, and she has helped me so much, when i wanted to quit she stopped me, and im so glad she did. but i feel im not good enough for the horse im on. he is a talented horse, and im still a novice, when i do things wrong he wont like it, he isnt very forgiving, and its my fault. everyone else rides him amazingly its just me. i dont know whats wrong with me.

 

[axe1312]

Hey there is no shame in that I sometimes can't even get on one of mine some days, that's a mental block I have with the arena I use next door if it's busy I just can't do it stems from a bad accident I had in there I think.

how do i get rid of it. its really hard, im so scared of doing things wrong. i dont want to hurt the horse, but also dont want to be thrown off. its a mix of both, id rather fall off then upset/hurt the horse. the school horse im riding for lessons is a great example of how bad i am. everyone rides him great, yet when im on him, somehow i ride him so bad he falls over after jumps, and bucks when my leg is wrong, but he doesnt do it for anyone else. my instructer said its ok, that things arent going right, cuz im still learning, but i wish i didnt have to feel like this too learn

 

[axe1312]

Instead of having a lesson go out for a hack, relax and enjoy a plod around, get back into enjoying the relationship with the horse in the countryside.

my lessons have stopped now until i take jj. which is so much better as i connect with jj, so i feel if something is wrong i can take it my way, whereas school horses are just a get on with it. you get on you do what the intructer says, you get off. with jj i can spend time in walk if im feeling pretty shit that day. when something goes wrong, i can spend time with jj to bond before trying again. you dont get to do those on lesson horses

 

[Keith_Beef]

Maybe ask the instructor if you can practice some gymkhana games- bending poles, jumping off in trot, great fun and you have to focus on the task in hand and don’t have time to worry!!

Make riding fun again. When I started riding regularly as an adult, I did a week of all day activities during a school holiday, so all the other riders were school aged kids.

The instructor was really good at mixing instruction with games to keep us in a playful frame of mind while still teaching us.

 

[daffy44]

If your mental health is bad in general, then your riding will also be affected, bad mental health impacts on all aspects of your life, so you need to talk to a parent or teacher and say how you are feeling, and let them try to help you.

Riding is not compulsory, if it is really stressing you out, dont do it, or just do groundwork, or just enjoy your horses company.

If however you really want to keep riding, remember this, pretty much everyone who rides, from Olympic medallists downwards, have times in their lives when they struggle with their confidence and feel that they cant ride, its normal. What changes is that you gain more perspective, you are able to have a more realistic grasp of your strengths and weaknesses, and you know that the bad feelings will pass.

One of the best things about riding is that you never stop learning, so the quicker you can start enjoying the process the better! You are never "done" there is always more to learn, every horse has something new to teach you, so embrace and enjoy the learning journey.

 

[axe1312]

Can you talk with your parents? Do you have a counsellor at school? Some schools have people trained in emotional literacy and they may be able to help with general confidence.

I seem to recollect you have an instructor? I would ask them at your next lesson what they think.

they now that im generally struggling with stuff. they do know about past times ive nearly quit. i do have an instructer who i was still riding her horses, but have now stopped, and when i can get a trailer, jj will be going to lessons. im so glad i have my own horse, i think it wouldnt have been long before i quit if i didnt have jj. he has given me so much confidence doing things i was scared to do. although he may be a cheeky, i tried a gallop posistion in canter, cant remember what its called, and i was scared he would just go, but he stayed in a nice canter and was happy to trot if i lost my balance. i love him, he is so forgiving.

 

[axe1312]

If your mental health is bad in general, then your riding will also be affected, bad mental health impacts on all aspects of your life, so you need to talk to a parent or teacher and say how you are feeling, and let them try to help you.

Riding is not compulsory, if it is really stressing you out, dont do it, or just do groundwork, or just enjoy your horses company.

If however you really want to keep riding, remember this, pretty much everyone who rides, from Olympic medallists downwards, have times in their lives when they struggle with their confidence and feel that they cant ride, its normal. What changes is that you gain more perspective, you are able to have a more realistic grasp of your strengths and weaknesses, and you know that the bad feelings will pass.

One of the best things about riding is that you never stop learning, so the quicker you can start enjoying the process the better! You are never "done" there is always more to learn, every horse has something new to teach you, so embrace and enjoy the learning journey.

thank you. im not quitting when ive gone through all this. i love jj, i love riding him, maybe it is the pressure of people judging at lessons etc that stresses me. when i ride on my own or with my mum, i love it, i talk to jj, i do dogdy lines and laugh it off rather than go home and cry about it.

 

[axe1312]

Slow Down and focus on how far you have come and enjoy - that’s great progress and the slower you take the next steps the better rider you will be in the long run.

Maybe ask the instructor if you can practice some gymkhana games- bending poles, jumping off in trot, great fun and you have to focus on the task in hand and don’t have time to worry!! Google them to get ideas.

im going to give it google and see what fun things i can do