"connection" and "forwardness" please help!

ThereSheIs

ThereSheIs

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I was so excited to get back in the saddle today after weeks and weeks with no lessons, my confidence hasn't been great because I haven't been able to go regularly enough to build it up.

Today was one of the most depressing lessons I've ever had, I barely left walk. I started off positively, getting the horse forwards in walk and trot and feeling pretty good about it in, in the warm up. Then we were asked to collect up and from here it just seemed to all go down hill :(

I get what my instructor is trying to tell me : forwards, but keeping the energy collected. I've ridden horses in a bit of an outline before, but today it just all felt so forced. I don't know if it's just that the horse was a bit more difficult to ride into an outline or what. I know that before, I've gotten the horse forwards, and then collected up the reins, maybe a little vibration down the inside rein and they've come together but in a lovely and soft kind of way. Today I either had the horse nice and forwards, or connected but plodding. By the end of it there was no point trotting because the walk was rubbish, I was told it was good but it didn't feel particularly good. Maybe it was good and I just need to get over what I feel like! :confused:

I just wanted to get the horse forward and listening to me, so that I could get my confidence back. I felt like such a loser today and frankly embarrassed in front of the others in my group. When I used to ride regularly I felt pretty good and could keep up with the others in my group, today I've just come away feeling deflated and useless.

Is it me?! The horse?! Help! :(
 
Please don't feel too badly.

We all have our good and bad days. Stick at it, discuss how you're feeling with your instructor (and I know that is easier said than done when you're feeling a bit down) and all 3 of you together (i'm including the horse in this) can work so that next time things go a bit better and you feel more positive at the end of your lesson.
 
I suppose I'm just worried about contradicting her. It didn't feel right to me but that's not to say it's wrong. I'm the novice and I don't want to come across as contradicting the person with all the experience! She is a good teacher, and I've had lots of good lessons with her before. This is the first time she's asked me to do something where I've not felt right about it, if that makes sense. I suppose I need another more experienced person's perspective to either tell me "actually that's correct and you should stick with it".

I've got a private lesson booked for next week to try and sort myself out. I've had one too many lessons of feeling completely incompetent!
 
Don't beat yourself up about it - we all have days like that! Sometimes you just need to put the horse away and try again the next day. That's part of the fun I always tell myself that when something goes not to plan. If it was wonderful every day I feel it might get boring. We're all always learning. We don't have to get it right every time.

As for your confidence, don't knock yourself. It takes a lot of guts to sit on a massive, unpredictable animal as it is without putting more pressure on yourself about performing perfectly every time. Just think about it as you've figured out the hard part already, you've got on the horse and you can stay on it! The rest is fine tuning in a way and that takes time and practise and a whole lot of not so great lessons before it all slots into place. Just look forward to your next lesson now and keep your chin up! Everyone has that eureka moment, you're just still waiting for yours! :)
 
We started with walking on a fairly loose rein to get them stepping forward and stretch out, then had a trot to do the same. Then we had to shorten up our reins, which I did to take up a contact but was trying to focus on keeping the horse going forwards. Usually I'm not very good at that but when I was told it was right I tried to keep that 'swinging' feeling.

I didn't have my reins short enough so the instructor showed me whereabouts they should be, which felt very short to me, and where I should be aiming to get the horse's head, but also maintaining the forwardness. It felt like a very strong contact, but I think I do have a tendency to be quite soft with my hands so maybe it's just that I need to get used to being more firm with them. When I lost the connection I was told to vibrate with the inside rein and keep my leg on to maintain the forwardness.
 
ThereSheIs said:
Is it me?! The horse?! Help! :(
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I'm ready to get shot down, and I may be completely wrong, but I would wonder if its your instructor who's a bit ..um.... Below par?

The trouble is (and please don't take this the wrong way) as the "novice" you have to put trust in her, and I'm sure she/he is very........competent.

However, what you've described does not sound a great lesson, nor (from the brief image I've got from that, which I might have got totally wrong) particularly correct -I tend to stick to the basis that an outline is simply the end result of a correctly balanced and connected rider on a physically and mentally capable horse.

There shouldn't be force. I know lots of people teach it, but there shouldn't be (IMHO) the trouble is, lots of people say all the right things, when they don't really have a clue :/

Sorry to sound harsh - I might well take my words back when you fill us in more on the lesson content :)


In any case, don't feel bad about not getting out of walk, never too advanced to spend a lesson walking & perfecting things :)
 
That's the tricky thing, I am a novice with a bit of knowledge beyond what I can actually do. So enough to make me question, but not enough to be sure that I am right to question. If that makes sense.

I don't want to bad mouth my instructor, she has been incredibly patient with all my nervousness, which wasn't so bad today (or it was replaced with frustration!). This is the first lesson I've had with her that I haven't enjoyed as much, usually it's very good!

I felt like I just wanted to forget the whole "connection" thing, have a more relaxed contact and just get the horse listening to my legs. I think he sensed a bit of my frustration because I was having to work more and more with my inside leg to keep him out on the track.

There was no point in trotting because it would just be doing it wrong, faster!

I have a private lesson with a different instructor (not specifically because of today, she was just available at the time I wanted) but I wonder if I should talk it through with her.
 
I think that sounds very sensible - and it's very nice that you don't want to bad mouth her.

The thing is, as instructors we all have bad days - we all make lesson plans and suddenly realise "this was a reeeeeeeaaaly bad choice for these students, oh $$$$$$" :D

If she isn't very old, (or even if she is!) she may well have been to training day, picked up things and thought "I'll try that out" perhaps without enough knowledge - to be honest, what you've described isn't (IMO ) a very suitable method to teach contact, but everyone is different :)

Asking to work on your position, in order to get the horse lighter off your aids, or transitions or something, sounds like a really good plan - explain you don't want a short cut to getting an outline, you'd rather be correct so the horse can operate to maximum ability, rather than fudging it :D

Good luck :)
 
It would be much easier in trot than walk, the energy in the trot helps you get the connection whereas often in walk you just end up with the horse losing impulsion and interest in what it is doing, especially in a riding school horse which must be ridden by so many people of different abilities.

You should get far more out of a private lesson, one to one attention really helps but do not feel you need to perfect the walk before moving on to trot, transitions are often the key to really getting the feel you are aiming for, they create energy, get the horse listening and should improve connection along the way.
 
be positive said:
It would be much easier in trot than walk, the energy in the trot helps you get the connection whereas often in walk you just end up with the horse losing impulsion and interest in what it is doing, especially in a riding school horse which must be ridden by so many people of different abilities.

You should get far more out of a private lesson, one to one attention really helps but do not feel you need to perfect the walk before moving on to trot, transitions are often the key to really getting the feel you are aiming for, they create energy, get the horse listening and should improve connection along the way.
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Ok, I shall try and think of it that way next time and get moving! Out of interest, would it be easier to get the trot with a contact but not as strong, then collect up again? I was being asked to get the connection right in the walk and maintain it through the transition to trot. Given that I struggled with it in walk trying to maintain it seemed a bit of a lost cause. I was happy enough in the warming up in trot, its just it felt really awkward getting the connection in walk - I did some trot but to me it was all very meh - kind of stuffy feeling. I'd have just been happy to have been going forwards and not worry about outlines or anything for now until I've got back into the swing of things.
 
Cortez said:
Maybe the horse was having a bad day? They don't always go perfectly no matter how well you ride.
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Maybe, the other girls did that the horse wasn't the easiest to get going in an outline - maybe other horses I've ridden have just been more forgiving in that respect. I suppose I wanted to check myself before anything else rather than instantly think it's the horse's fault. :)
 
Without actually being there it is hard to say whether it's you, the horse, the instructor or all 3.

However, pushing a horse forwards, forwards and forwards will not create an outline (in itself) Yes the horse has to be going forwards into a consistent contact but it also has to be straight and working over it's back. It should also be engaging it's hind end and pushing from behind. Focusing solely on getting it forewards can sometimes (IMO) be counter productive as often horses are pushed out of their natural rhythm and so end up with the back end not being able to keep up with the front and it falling onto its forehand.

It sounds like you would have been better off doing lots of transitions and also transitions within the pace to get his engine running and on your aids and working on suppleness and bend.

It could be that the horse had been worked hard already and was tired and just didnt have as much to give as normal.

BUT, honestly impossible to say.

EVERYONE has bad days, don't feel disheartened it really is entirely normal and understandble. I'm sure you'll get loads out of your private lesson and will be beaming again soon :)
 
I gradually ask for and expect more through the transitions and other movements, the horse needs time to warm up and should improve throughout the session, the initial warm up is not always enough to get the individual in the right frame. I find it a strange concept that a horse is given x amount of time then expected to start "work", then keep working until the rider feels enough has been done, some require longer, some require a good sharp canter or similar to get them really working, as any experienced person knows you can have plans but the horse does not read the book and a good rider/ instructor should always be flexible to what is happening on the day. Being inflexible will often, like your session today, end up with a frustrated horse or rider.
 
Thanks everyone for the replies! Lots for me to think about for next time, I'm happy to have least ridden again and hopefully will be able to go every week and make some actual progress again. The private lesson will hopefully be a good kickstart to get me on the right track again :)
 
I find often it is easier to get connection in trot than walk.......

I would certainly be using lots of transitions rather than staying in walk if it wasn't working.
 
Kat said:
I find often it is easier to get connection in trot than walk.......

I would certainly be using lots of transitions rather than staying in walk if it wasn't working.
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I like doing transitions and things, usually we do them but not so much today, not sure why. The other girls seemed to get it (and they got to canter) and then there was me... oh dear! I'm thinking the private lesson will enable me to actually do more. I wanted to go for a bit of a pushed out trot down a long side because I was just fed up of doing horrible stuffy walk, which turned into horrible stuffy trot - or at least that's how it felt to me, I was told some of it was good and to be fair there was the odd few strides where I was like "got it!".

I'm feeling more upbeat now, lots of helpful stuff to think on and the treat of a private lesson to look forward too! Thanks again everyone :)
 
Just as an update, I had a lesson again yesterday - was meant to be private but ended up with the group and it was totally fine. Was on a different horse so can't really update on that but it was a much more positive lesson. It was a different instructor who wasn't really focusing on outlines and things like that, which I was glad of because to be frank I think there's other things that I need to work on before worrying too much about that.

Next time I think I will ask for the horse I rode last week and see if this different instructor gives me a different take on how I should be riding it.

I came away with a big smile, feeling much more positive and have set myself a goal of doing a walk and trot or prelim dressage test at the end of next month. Watch this space! :)
 
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