considering selling

C

caroline23

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 April 2009
Messages
284
Visit site
i have had an on/off relationship with my boy since i got him, some weeks i'd love him, others i would wonder what the hell i was doing. right now i adore him on the ground we have done lots of groundwork and i really enjoy spending time with him grooming etc ..however ridden i just have a block, i just don't click unless we are plodding along on a hack and tbh he needs a better more confident rider than me and i would love to do local shows etc but i know i wouldnt have the confidence on him (he is part welsh so with his personality he needs a rider that will just say do it! instead of me having a melt down which i know is not doing either of us any good)

a lot of it is my nerves and he reacts to this, rather than it being him as a lot of the time he is good until i tense up or worry! i plan on going back to riding lessons then later on finding a more older confidence giver

problem is how do you sell a horse when your riding confidence in low so you can't show viewers much?
 
I'm so sorry to hear this. Sometimes I think I'll have to do that with Mollie, and have posted here to that effect, and was heartbroken at the idea of selling. :( But at the moment Mollie and I are making progress.

Couldn't you have some lessons on him to see if you can at least get to a stage where you can ride him for a buyer? Otherwise, can you find someone else to ride him in order for you to sell?

You might find, if you had a good instructor and help from a confident rider, that when you come to sell you find you don't need to after all.
 
Well probably not going to give you the confidence to ride - but if the horse you are thinking of selling is that coloured in your sig, you will have NO trouble selling him at all - he is gorgeous!!!
 
If you're having successes on the ground then deep inside of you there must be a good leader and from the sound of your post that is what your pony needs. You need to tell yourself that you are a good elader because you cna do it on the ground. Get yourself a good instructor that you trust who will be able to help you convert your groundwork confidence to ridden confidence too! If you really want to do it then I believe you can - especially when you've already made loads of progress with him.

xx
 
caroline23 said:
i have had an on/off relationship with my boy since i got him, some weeks i'd love him, others i would wonder what the hell i was doing. right now i adore him on the ground we have done lots of groundwork and i really enjoy spending time with him grooming etc ..however ridden i just have a block, i just don't click unless we are plodding along on a hack and tbh he needs a better more confident rider than me and i would love to do local shows etc but i know i wouldnt have the confidence on him (he is part welsh so with his personality he needs a rider that will just say do it! instead of me having a melt down which i know is not doing either of us any good)

a lot of it is my nerves and he reacts to this, rather than it being him as a lot of the time he is good until i tense up or worry! i plan on going back to riding lessons then later on finding a more older confidence giver

problem is how do you sell a horse when your riding confidence in low so you can't show viewers much?
Click to expand...

I think we all feel like jacking it in at times I know I have done, theres something about horses and riding you're on top of the world one minute and totally disheartened the next, its such a roller coaster. Could you try to share or part loan him to take the pressure off you abit?
 
I totally sympathise with you. I have been in your position . My girl was excellent on the ground but I totally lost my nerve. In my case I moved to a different yard and have had lessons from my yard owner at least once a week. The first week I had 5 lessons which was great . Now I try to have 2 a week. IT will take a while for me to be totally happy but we are getting there. I find riding everyday helps if it is possible. It is still a total roller coaster but I'm glad I haven't sold her coz I nearly did. I just needed help from someone with more experience and loads of patience.
Remember no horse is perfect and if you like the majority of things about your boy it may be worth keeping going.
I was physically shaking on my first lesson wouldn't even trot. Yesterday we were cantering when she spooked at a dog threw a massive twisty buck and nearly had me off I was happy to stay on and keep going. If I can get my confidence back anyone can:)
 
caroline23 said:
a lot of it is my nerves and he reacts to this, rather than it being him as a lot of the time he is good until i tense up or worry! i plan on going back to riding lessons then later on finding a more older confidence giver
Click to expand...

I know how you feel I think... I'm fine and dandy on the ground - any on the yard playing up and I'll get asked to sort them because it doesn't matter what they're doing or how they're acting up, I have total confidence in what I'm doing and want them to do...

Once on board it's a different kettle of fish completely... I love going out and tootling around on a slow hack but the minute I start thinking of moving up a gear out or in the school I turn into a total pile of mush and can't even identify why or what it is that I'm fearful of... I can ride and know what I should be doing - it just doesn't translate very well and I turn into a totally pathetic wuss...:o

I've just started with a lovely instructor who made me feel very motivated so I'm hoping that continues and I have a lovely young lass from the local university who takes my TB out and does some schooling so he gets what he needs and she's a nice support for me too...

Sometimes there is a click though... I've just had to give notice on the loan pony that my kids learnt to ride on... I can get on her and feel fine - but she's too small and to ride her regularly would be wrong... So kinda back to being horse-less for hacking atm and feeling pretty devastated... Maybe see if you can have some lessons on your boy and/or think of a supportive share before selling him just so you know you've tried a few different options... :)
 
I sympathise as I have been feeling a bit this way.

When you look at it logically though there probably isn't a horse out there that will give more confidence to you; that comes from within yourself.

Try a good instructor and work with the horse you have got. Give it more time and it may have a happy ending. That's the way I am approaching mine.
 
If you sell him, you'll loose him and with him any chance you may of had in the future together, it'll be to late!

You can do it, it is possible and I think you need to man up and get on with it!!:mad:

Sorry, did you want a kick?;)
 
I was in exactly the same psoition as you, I ummed and arred over selling my mare for over 2 years because I lost nerve riding her, I'd have times when I was conident with her then all of a sudden it would go and I'd be a wreck. In the end I gave her to friend.

I have regretted it ever since and would do anything to have her back :(

Please don't sell your boy untill you are 100% that it is the best option.
 
I think a lot of us have this feeling. Mine is homebred and he changes between the best horse to the worst on almost a weekly basis!!!

I don't think there is an easy answer & I'm not sure there are many easy horses either!!!

It isn't help by the fact it is an expensive hobby - too expensive for you not to be having fun!!!

Sorry I'm completely sitting on the fence here but I know I'd have given in sooner if I didn't have good instructors and friends!!!

Just a suggestion I've thought of... if you think it is just your nerves upsetting him at the moment how about looking for a confident sharer to help bring the horse on. Then either your confidence will grow in him as he gets a few miles on the clock or if you did sell him then you have someone who could help you find a great home?! Worth a try maybe?!
 
Last edited:
Can you say exactly what it is that he does to worry you. Does he rear, buck, run off, generally too strong or spooky.

Things dont sound too bad if you hack him. Most people who are having trouble will ride in the school but dont dare go out.
 
thanks for replies so far, i have put an ad up for a confident sharer but so far just get replies off novices so still looking, even though i said experienced only

he has a chunky neck so is strong if he decides to take off, which seems to be his instinct as there have been several incidents i would call bolting, as in full pelt gallop and no steering or brakes (obviously this isnt true bolting but you know what i mean its not a simple canter off you could circle to slow etc as its different to when he is when he is just cantering in school) this is why i stick to walk when hacking and get nervous as i just picture it happening again, he has done it in the school before to so i dont really have a "safe place"

i have had lessons before winter and he behaves fine then but they were only in walk and trot, he is better behaved in the school it is just his strength and he knows how to use it when he chooses to
 
Is there a university near you with a riding club who you could email your ad to? We had quite a few confident riders who just couldn't afford a horse due to being poor students - I got plenty of free rides and a few busy workers got nicely schooled horses. I took on one in this exact same position and it was great for us both!

Looking at your siggy it looks like you only have a caveson and a snaffle - my friends horse, who looks just like yours, went through a faze of 'bolting' - it was only when I watched him do it & pointed out he'd opened his mouth crossed his jaw that she got anywhere. She just changed him to a flash and it stopped the behaviour. Could yours be doing something like this?
 
he is in a pelham now recommended by the instructor..he used to be in a french link which is ok for the school but he just pulls down and keeps going if used in faster paces/out hacking

i will look into the uni riding club thanks for that idea :)
 
caroline23 said:
i have had an on/off relationship with my boy since i got him, some weeks i'd love him, others i would wonder what the hell i was doing. right now i adore him on the ground we have done lots of groundwork and i really enjoy spending time with him grooming etc ..however ridden i just have a block, i just don't click unless we are plodding along on a hack and tbh he needs a better more confident rider than me and i would love to do local shows etc but i know i wouldnt have the confidence on him (he is part welsh so with his personality he needs a rider that will just say do it! instead of me having a melt down which i know is not doing either of us any good)

a lot of it is my nerves and he reacts to this, rather than it being him as a lot of the time he is good until i tense up or worry! i plan on going back to riding lessons then later on finding a more older confidence giver

problem is how do you sell a horse when your riding confidence in low so you can't show viewers much?
Click to expand...

Hi sounds like you need to find a riding instructor that will ride for you and also teach you what you are doing wrong and thus increase your confidence etc. If its you and not the horse then it seems a shame if it cant be sorted out. I looked at so many horses etc and never found one that I liked last year. Unless the horse is an utter nightmare I would probably try to sort the horse out. But a good instructor can give you so much confidence and positive thinking on how to overcome your nerves. An isntructor at my sons riding lessons was an inspiration as she would talk to herself and her horses and work through any issues(she brought horses on and would bring them out in between lessons). I knew he had a good teacher. As she practiced what she preached.

Try to get help if you havent already..good luck though
 
OK I will probably get hung for this advice, but never mind.

Your boy sound exactly like my oldie used to be, actually still can be. I dont call it bolting because its bad behaviour not blind panic, in mine at least.

The pelham is the right way to go. After much trial and error I found continental webbing reins on the curb and ordinary reins on the snaffle to be the way to go.

When he takes off, get hold of the curb rein, dont bother with the snaffle. The webbing reins allow you to get a grip without the reins being pulled through your hands because of the leather tabs sewn on them. Always wear gloves.

Honestly I am not sure how much lessons will help. I had a lot on my old boy starting 30 years ago. Schooling is OK but it all goes out of the window when they decide to go. I also had the vet, saddle fitter, dentist and continued to do up until now.

The only thing which actually slowed it down was old age.

I learned to live with it and actually enjoy it at times, mine is very surefooted and we have a lot of open space. I must admit to some hairy moments at the old yard when we were heading for cattle grids etc. And then there was the incident when he overtook a learner driver :D :D it wasn't funny at the time. And coming down the side of a quarry in a flat out gallop is an acquired taste.

Honestly if you dont have the nerve then you might be right in trying to sell. Many times over the years I have wished I did. I can laugh now, he's 36 and if he tries it now he cant go far.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
rockysmum ive also heard some horses just do it randomly, whether its in their breeding or something who knows but i've heard a lot of welsh's people on yard have known that have done this so maybe some relation somewhere? who knows!

i have advertised for a sharer for now as i was in the field today and i didnt even want to trot, put at this point i know it is me and not him, although his occasional "outburts" was him, it is not him at fault it is my lack of confidence and i am not being the leader he needs ridden wise as he is only 6 and he needs someone confident to help him as he starts doing new more exciting things which he will enjoy, i would sell him if a suitable buyer came up but im not actively selling him as in advertising him as i still get enjoyment from him even if it is not ridden, if it came to selling though i would have to get someone else to ride.
 
I think I know exactly how you feel, I've had times with my boy where he's gone off and I've really struggled to stop him. In the end I had lessons, lots, changed his bit and spent a lot of time doing slow confidence building stuff. I had a great instructor, fab yard owner and lots of nice people who understood to hack out with. I still have some shakey times but it's manageable now. I'd suggest getting an instructor involved and see how you go before making any decisions. Good luck and I hope it works out for you. :) x
 
Agree with getting lessons and seeing how you fair for a while, then when the time comes that you feel 'able' to show him to potential buyers, you can make the choice! You might find that you have come on so much, you'll think back and be like "what was I thinking." or you might still feel the same, time will tell.

Facing your daemons is hard, and by that I don't mean deliberately putting yourself in danger, that's silly, but when you get to the point of avoiding every day situations just in case, then it needs addressing, for you with any horse, if not for your relationship with your current one.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top