constructive whatsits needed for sharer ad (again)

Angua2

Angua2

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Well it wasn't long ago since I asked for help/proof readers/ suggestions for the last sharer ad, and following on from my last post, I seem to have arrived back at this point again for the mare in my siggy.

So constructive what nots are needed again.

This is what I have drafted this time..... I am taking a totally different approach!



I am a 16hh TB mare with excellent manners both on the ground and ridden, who is looking for a lovely competent person, with own transport to hack me out and generally make my life far more interesting when my mum is at work. I am good to hack both in company and on my own, and am known to be a total sweetheart and all round good sport. Mum would like someone at least 3 days a week and I think she would like a contribution to costs inorder to keep me in the manner to which I would like to be accustomed.

We are on the edge of Epping forest with easy access to about 80km of all year forest tracks and Corporation of London buffer lands so minimal road work. Mum says the human facilities at the Yard are good too with a nice lot of friendly people who are always up for a hack.


what do you all think..........
to wishywashy?
am I asking too much?
 
I would say it is a little wisy washy
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just my personal preference but i hate the adverts written from the 'horse point of view' just my opinion though!! what you're saying is lovely, just a bit mushy with the wording!
smile.gif
good luck finding someone, iv been through it all myself recently so I know what a hassle it can be!!x
 
I like it from the horses point of view, always gets my attention. Just a bit of a typo/ grammar point though, i think it should be more like 'to which i am accustomed' since 'accustomed' would suggest they are already kept in that state, and the way you used it sounds more like you are wanting to improve the way she is kept. Or that's how it came over to me anyway. Feel free to ignore me but i think it would flow a bit better.

Other than that it sounds good
smile.gif


Good luck finding someone, it might take a while but will be worth it to find the perfect person.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I would say it is a little wisy washy
smile.gif
just my personal preference but i hate the adverts written from the 'horse point of view' just my opinion though!! what you're saying is lovely, just a bit mushy with the wording!
smile.gif
good luck finding someone, iv been through it all myself recently so I know what a hassle it can be!!x

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry I hate adverts written like that too. I think its a bit wishy washy and I'm not sure you'll be taken too seriously by people.

Good luck finding a sharer though!
 
How have you not found a sharer? I would jump at the chance if I was anywhere you! 80km of all-year riding off road. I have one bridleway in the vicinity and its summer only.
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Thankyou all.

I will go away and have a bit of a re-jig.

If new rider will let me on there I think I may well use a more serious add along with the one above, as then it appeals to a wider audience.
 
I think a "normal" ad would be better.

Is it strictly only hacking or would you let a sharer have lessons on your horse? School? Jump? Compete? If so say so, it will broaden the interest.

Would they be required to do mornings and evenings? If the chores needed are limited say so.

What does the horse do? Is it a steady type? Novice ride? Snaffle mouth? or more competative?

Is it set days? Is this negotiable? Do you want flexability?

Make the ad detailed so a potential sharer knows whether you are suitable for them.

I would really suggest that you ask your local riding schools to put the ad up there and ask the RS owner if they know anyone suitable.

Try some non-horsey places for ads too, the local post office or supermarket as well as online sites and tack shops.
 
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