Continued unrest with livery client

Land Owner obviously likes you, so just have a good sit down and chat with him, and explain your concerns. I recently did the same, and it's worked out fantastically for me.
 
TheRedMare said:
My partner has already said that we'd offer to take the older horse on without me saying anything.

I am unsure about having bars in the stable as mine rolls and I'm worried about a hoof getting stuck due to the height of the walls and size of her. I give her giant banks in there. She's quite a social horse, always had company in last home.

I haven't signed anything yet. I was thinking that is the other livery client took the cottage to rent, I wouldn't leave the yard but would be glad to have someone knowledgeable in there. There is a 20 yr or so age gap between us though. I've worked on yards before and not had any concerns over my horse care or mares behaviour raised, bar her putting her nose on the ponys bum when he walked past once.
Click to expand...

I honestly can't make out what you are on about... But your posts on this thread are making you sound as crazy as them. You just seem determined to turn yourself into one of life's victims over this, and it really isn't worth it for the sake of a couple of crazy horse ladies
 
If I owned this yard and I was aware of all this I would close the yard down completely, book a holiday and go clear my head

Not sure how these 2 women found out about you hoping to rent the cottage near the stables that is your business not there's

As for someone having their horse shot, that is her business not yours, there maybe other health reasons why she would make this decision regarding her horse, when I am approached by this shooting reaction its usually the case that they no longer want the horse and want the horse to stay with me but this doesn't sound like the same thing, if she only has one horse and has it shot she will hardly be staying with her friend at another yard as she will be horseless....... I can never work out as I grow older why women wish to travel in pairs, give me a horse, goat, sheep or dog any day of the week, they are less hassle, less time consuming, don't talk and don't want to play silly bu**ers :)

Seems to me 2 is company, 3 is a crowd in this yard - stable doors get damaged and get fixed its no big deal
 
OP - You are not responsible for the happiness or otherwise of these two ladies. They are behaving badly. Do what is right for you and let them sort themselves out. Don't even attempt to fathom what they are thinking. You are over thinking the situation and upsetting yourself unnecessarily. You don't need to be kind to them or their horse.
 
I'm sorry if I sound crazy, I just wanted to try and get a wider range of opinions from people outside the situation. I find being a step back from things shows different views.
 
I've got a friend who sold me my mare to speak to first but this has helped me take a step back and see several new sides- thank you.

We will take on the property and be helpful and pleasant as normal. The chips can fall where they may but we will also make the offer to care for the horse and assist with his turn out etc if further is said on this. If all leave, I am sure I can borrow a friends pony temporarily for company.

I don't believe anyone else wants to rent the cottage as I think both own their homes.

It's a relief to sit myself down and see practical and logical sides of this!
 
TheRedMare said:
I'm sorry if I sound crazy, I just wanted to try and get a wider range of opinions from people outside the situation. I find being a step back from things shows different views.
Click to expand...


Well everyone on here has reminded you several times that LO will not allow any modificaions to the building, so you are worrying unnecessarily about that! Again, just about everyone has said that YM's horse is not your concern, so stop worrying about that too.

Now go and put a deposit on the cottage and stop worrying about that!
 
Pearlsasinger said:
Well everyone on here has reminded you several times that LO will not allow any modificaions to the building, so you are worrying unnecessarily about that! Again, just about everyone has said that YM's horse is not your concern, so stop worrying about that too.

Now go and put a deposit on the cottage and stop worrying about that!
Click to expand...
Apologies - I tried to quote and reply to DabDab but my phone is not cooperating!

Just need to check pet agreement on cottage and will sort signing with LO <3
 
TheRedMare said:
Apologies - I tried to quote and reply to DabDab but my phone is not cooperating!

Just need to check pet agreement on cottage and will sort signing with LO <3
Click to expand...

Sounds like a really fantastic opportunity for you this cottage, and your OH sounds lovely and supportive.

Sorry if my post read harshly, but we all have the potential to go a little mad and get stuck in a situation where we couldn't see the wood for the trees, but that can easily spiral if we don't have a stern word with ourselves and get back to the logic of a situation iyswim.

Good luck with the cottage x
 
TheRedMare said:
Apologies - I tried to quote and reply to DabDab but my phone is not cooperating!

Just need to check pet agreement on cottage and will sort signing with LO <3
Click to expand...


Good!

Once it's obvious you are not going anywhere the others will have to sort themselves out.
Personally, I would not offer to take over ownership of the ym's elderly horse...help out maybe, but his costs are the ym's responsibility.
 
Horse being shot isnt your issue and to be honest sounds like it might be a sensible choice if she does leave. IMO you would be better if they left and you rented the whole lot, cottage and yard and got yourself a couple of nice liveries to help with the bills that you can get on with
 
The person is a bullying manipulator, give them 2 words, the second one being off.


&#8220;A BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTS

I: You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.

II: You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behavior.

III: You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people&#8217;s problems.

IV: You have the right to change your mind.

V: You have the right to make mistakes&#8212;and be responsible for them.

VI: You have the right to say, &#8220;I don&#8217;t know.&#8221;

VII: You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.

VIII: You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.

IX: You have the right to say, &#8220;I don&#8217;t understand.&#8221;

X: You have the right to say, &#8220;I don&#8217;t care.&#8221;

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY&#8221; &#8212; 72 likes
&#8220;Giving reasons during conflict to justify or defend a viewpoint is just as manipulative as giving reasons to attack that viewpoint. Neither of these routes is an honest assertive I want that can lead to a workable compromise of interests to quickly resolve the conflict.&#8221; &#8212; 5 likes
 
I hadn't realised the YM was not really a YM but has just adopted the role. You have no need to pay any attention to a word she says.

Echo all the other advice. I would only add the bit that everyone stressed on your other thread: the middle stable is NOT a stable it is a thoroughfare. I'd clarify that immediately with the LO. The only safe way to use all 3 stables is for one owner to have them so he/she can manage her own horses safely. You absolutely cannot have a situation where someone is leading past, feeding, mucking out etc all round someone else's stabled horse.

I think personally the door should be taken off it so it is clear that it is not a stable!
 
TheRedMare said:
There is a 20 yr or so age gap between us though.
Click to expand...

Can I ask, politely, are you 20 years older than the other liveries, or younger? Not that it really matters tbh, their behaviour is appalling, no matter how old they are!

1 - Sign for the cottage asap.
2 - Agree in writing, if needs be, that the stables are not to be changed.
3 - Tell everyone that you will gladly keep the old horse as a companion.
4 - Then sit back and watch the fireworks!

Enjoy your new rural life next to your horse. If other liveries come and go, then that's life!
 
"Request to also rent livery yard alongside cottage from LO, offer to take on YM's retired gelding as companion to your horse, tell other livery to sling hook. Enjoy place to yourself."

OR

If it were me, I'd ask to rent the whole place alongside the cottage, and enjoy having it to myself whilst I popped the word out - and accepted a nice Livery to help wth costs.

Have a proper chat with the person that owns the place and see how they feel about you taking the yard and cottage on. A live in livery yard/cottage renter to guard and maintain the upkeep of the place 24/7 might be very appealing to them!
 
Last edited:
I have to say I would be inclined to do what Dappledown suggested. I would at least investigate the possibility with the YO.
 
HeyMich said:
Can I ask, politely, are you 20 years older than the other liveries, or younger? Not that it really matters tbh, their behaviour is appalling, no matter how old they are!

1 - Sign for the cottage asap.
2 - Agree in writing, if needs be, that the stables are not to be changed.
3 - Tell everyone that you will gladly keep the old horse as a companion.
4 - Then sit back and watch the fireworks!

Enjoy your new rural life next to your horse. If other liveries come and go, then that's life!
Click to expand...

They are older than me - I'm in my twenties. Generally pretty quiet about the work I've done with horses in the past, but I used to work weekends on a riding school yard with some livery clients that also bred its own sports horse stock so worked with youngsters (foals to four year olds) too from the ground. I'm versed in the basics, but always try to absorb all the knowledge I can still. (Just don't want to seem either clueless or "I'm a know it all" due to my age!)

My mare was born there <3
 
I especially don't think I'd like to manage a livery yard EVER after this drama!

I just would like to be able to see my girl from the bedroom window. :D
 
It's not managing a livery yard though, if it is just you/you carefully select one other so have no 'ganging up' like you have now!
 
I'd be concerned about insurance if I was YM and renting the whole block, although I hear that was the arrangement previously before they went to renting individual stables out.

I'd be happy to help out current YM or LO if they wanted me to look for a new livery client though.
 
From reading this thread it sounds like you have a miserable pair of 40somethings who don't want you on "their" yard and are doing what they can to make you want to leave. As a young woman I think this is going to be one of those moments where you discover playground bullies don't necessarily grow up into nice adults, sometimes they remain playground bullies all their lives, the big difference is you don't have teachers to maintain the rules once you're out of the school gate. While I totally understand that you want to be polite to these other women it doesn't sound like it's helping you one bit so why keep doing it? Certainly don't be unnecessarily rude to them but don't try to chat to them, only speak when spoken to and if they are giving you **** tell them to **** off!
Can I give you some advice, as a miserable 30-something with a chip on her shoulder? Stop being a doormat and trying to make them happy! IF they were playing fair then by all means, try to work with them and always give people a second chance but these people have had a lot of chances. You have gone out of your way to accommodate them and they're still not playing by the rules so, for your own health stop trying to make them happy, it is not your job.
Get your house, have your horse at the bottom of the garden path, spend time with your horse and your partner. Make sure you have friends elsewhere and move on from 2 crazy fellow liveries (I'm sorry but a self appointed yard chief is just another livery with a bit of a gob on her so stop deferring to her in this way).
 
Agreeing totally with all of the above, I would only like to reiterate that "YM" is not a Yard Manager - only another livery who has insinuated herself into a position of "authority".

Maintain a cordial relationship with her and, if you would prefer her company over none at all (in the event the other livery goes), tell her so. But DO NOT let her make you feel her horse's life is in your hands. Do this on your terms not theirs!
 
She is appointed ym by lo not self appointed, to clarify. But yes very fair point - I can't see how anyone could say what has been said about shooting a horse. I hope the boy doesn't have further health issues but he's a very very good sort.

Will have to see how it progresses over the next few days and go in to sign my lease too. :)
 
Can't say any more than what has already been said but sounds like these two bullies want the yard to themselves so you just stand your ground, don't even bother with the friendly chat, just ignore then and get on with what you are doing. Go get that lovely cottage and enjoy watching your girl from your window.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top