Controlling people on yard

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t411y

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I was wondering what people's experiences were in similar situations to mine/what advice they have to offer. At the moment I am away at university but I am lucky enough to have my horse at home, who is shared by someone else, along with my sister's horse and old pony.
Recently a woman from a yard near me came to our yard and asked to keep her horse there as she had no where else to put him (we found out at a later stage she was asked to leave). We agreed and at first everything was fine. However, now she is becoming quite controlling; she will often change what the horses are being fed and the quantities, which worries me as I don't want this to cause issues (colic etc), even though she is not supposed to be feeding our horses at all. She will also continually feed my fat older horse copious amounts of feed, despite being asked not to, and recently while she was on box rest turned her out on an almost daily basis.
I appreciate the help but its starting to get a bit ott when she ignores everything we tell her, and when I'm at home I'm constantly being told I'm doing things wrong/being criticised.
There are several other things that have happened in addition to this but these are the main problems. I was justing wondering if anyone had experienced anything similar and what they did?
 
Is it your own/family's yard?

If so why not just ask her to leave?

If not nail down the YO and ask them to take her in hand
 
I was sharing a rented yard with a lady who started off as a super friend and a great help but became more and more controlling, criticising me, my horse, my farrier etc etc. In the end I gave notice and left. She wasn't happy about it, said I was ungrateful for all the help she had given me, but I had had enough of the constant criticism. Yes I felt bad but it was making me unhappy so I did what I needed to do.
I suppose you will have to be hard and tell her to do one!
 
t411y said:
Recently a woman from a yard near me came to our yard and asked to keep her horse there as she had no where else to put him (we found out at a later stage she was asked to leave). We agreed and at first everything was fine. However, now she is becoming quite controlling; she will often change what the horses are being fed and the quantities, which worries me as I don't want this to cause issues (colic etc)

This is totally unacceptable and not on . She has no right to change your horses feed.


, even though she is not supposed to be feeding our horses at all. She will also continually feed my fat older horse copious amounts of feed, despite being asked not to, and recently while she was on box rest turned her out on an almost daily basis.


This would make me so peed off and mad, again what right does she have


I appreciate the help but its starting to get a bit ott when she ignores everything we tell her, and when I'm at home I'm constantly being told I'm doing things wrong/being criticised.
There are several other things that have happened in addition to this but these are the main problems. I was justing wondering if anyone had experienced anything similar and what they did?
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the polite way would be:


I would be giving her her marching orders. I would take her aside say its not working out and you will give her limited time to find somewhere else.

She was obviously kicked out before for the same reason.


The not so polite way would be:

Meet up with her say look this is my place my animals. I am responsible for their diets not you. If you cannot leave my animals alone p off and find somewhere else.
 
I guess that you could draw her attention to the aspects of her behaviour that are not acceptable (and they're really not!) or you could really emphasise the health risks to the horses, and then you can say you gave her a chance when you have to ask her to leave. Sounds like a really unfortunate situation, especially at your home, hope you can get it sorted
 
She sounds a nightmare. It wouldn't be quite so bad if she suggested doing things differently, altho that would be extremely annoying, but to go ahead and change your way of looking after your horse is just not acceptable.

I would ask her how she thinks things are going.... then tell her you are not happy with her making any decisions regarding your horses. If she's quite nice apart from her ridiculous meddling then I would give her one chance. If she does anything like that after you've told her not to, then it will be easier to tell her to go.

I've had liveries like this before, when I have spoken to them it turns out they thought they were being helpful. She just needs to know the boundaries.
 
Thanks for the help, just wanted to double check /see what other people felt before I told her to go. In an ideal world she'd change and it would be less stressful on her horse as he wouldn't have to keep moving but I think she's had enough chances!
 
Similar happened to me and within two weeks, Shy was at the vets with suspected early lami signs. I have been on full panic alert ever since :mad:

Absolutely no question - get rid.
 
I just lost control - muzzle taken off, non- barefoot diet being given, you name it. She thought she meant well, but I was devastated - and had to move the lad straight away.

You will feel so much better when you've got rid of this person :)
 
Get rid of her - quickly before she causes any major problems!

The yard I am at is a nightmare, I rent land from a woman who we sarcastically call 'the horse whisperer' she hasn't got a clue. She won't rug an old pony with bad health and feeds her the smallest dinner I've seen, yet her 7 year old gets a nice warm rug and a massive dinner - much too big for the lack of work he's doing - ie none. She last wormed in september, but when she decides her horses need worming she'll go on at me to make sure mines wormed at the same time (please believe me when he's wormed on time regardless of her) and her horses can go without the farrier for 12 weeks (luckily barefoot) so I happily have my own.

I had someone to check my horses teeth, her comment to me (word for word): "your terrifying that horse, you don have a clue" paha? Really and when I had someone to check his back (all in preperation for backing) she asked the man (word for word quote again) "what's she wasting her money on now?" The poor guy didn't know where to look when I told her I was being a good horse owner and she needed to have a look at her horses and start spending some more on their health haha.

She'll come over when I'm grooming, and tell me how to groom correctly, what I need to feed and I've even caught her going into my feed bin (she has her own feed at the other side of the shed and my horse already had a prepared dinner made) funnily enough when I checked all my supplements had gone down and my feed seemed to be running out fast!

Literally had her screaming abuse at me, to the point I have been in the stable crying wonder where I could go if I walked off the yard now. Even wondering if it was worth it and I should put my horse up for sale if I couldn't find anywhere else to go. (I'd never sell him, but she makes me often doubt myself so much)

She gives advice on how I should ride, what I'm doing wrong, insults my horse etc (yet she rides her horse once in a blue moon - she'll give him a walk out for 5 mins after exhausting him on the lunge, yet he can still bolt off if he wants but once he's had a 5 min walk out its like he's done a 3 day event and needs a gold medal haha)

I have equine qualifications, she has none - yet she's the best expert in her mind (move over Jason Webb lmao)

So yeah, don't be pushed over by her, she'll be more of a hassle the longer she's there.

Cor, I had a bit of a moan didn't I haha - but I certainly know how you feel. Hope you get it all sorted soon :)
 
Tell her to move now, a weeks notice and make sure that someone supervisers her at all times when she is on the yard, litterly stands behind her to ensure that she only deals with her own horse. Put a lock and a bell on the yard gate, so that she cannot enter without your /your family's permission. Her behaviour is so unnacceptable that she cannot be left alone with access to other peoples animals.
 
How do you know? And if it is because other people have seen her, why haven't they stopped her?

I think a week's notice is a bit harsh unless she has done anything else. I would be giving her a written warning that you know what she is doing, and that you do not want her to, and if she continues she will be off the yard with a week's notice. Add any other offences that you are not happy about while you are there. She may not realise she is taking over, and a sharp shock may pull her into line.

ps, and obviously make sure people are around when she is there, or put dummy CCTV up.
 
Weather she is doing you a favour or not.
They are your horses and she should not be interfering.
If you tell her something specific she shoukd do it.

I would have a strainght to the point word with her.
if she cant do as asked then aks her to leave.
She sounds more trouble than shes worth!
 
Your horses, your yard. She either does everything exactly as you say or goes. One final warning, she does not know best & must learn to show you some respect. You are doing her the favour, you don't need her there especially if she is causing you agro.

I keep my girls on a friends private yard. I feed her horse as she wishes, move fields as she wishes etc, no question. Bottoom line is she owns her horse & yard. Warn this woman that if she as much puts just a toe over the mark again, she's gone on a weeks notice. During that weeks notice she will only be allowed on the yard at times preagreed with yourself so you can watch what she is up to (seen 2 liveries at last yard go on stealing fest out of spite when given notice, another tried to sneak out without settling final bill).
 
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