Coping with loss of dog

Shoei

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Joined
24 February 2011
Messages
1,061
Hi Guys,
Just spilling my heart out really.

I had to have my darling great dane put down on Friday. It was completely the right decision, she was ready and a good age but I feel like my soul has been ripped out!

I'm not sure how to deal with it, the house is so empty without her and I'm trying to keep busy but I am dreading working from home alone this week. I'm just trying not to cry all the time.

I just don't know what to do with myself
 

P.forpony

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Joined
9 February 2019
Messages
349
Shoei
I’m so so sorry for you.
I lost my darling girl in may and it broke me.
I’ve started to cry writing this, I haven’t actually managed to speak to anyone about it yet.

I’m sorry I don’t have any magic ideas or strategies to make it better.
Don’t be afraid to cry and don’t be afraid to be sad.

Lots of people won’t understand the depth of your love and grief for what they see as a pet. Ignore them. It doesn’t make it less real or less true.

I’m so sorry you’re hurting but you grieve as much as you loved so your girl must have had a wonderful life with you.
 

alibali

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Joined
18 July 2010
Messages
635
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. A measure of how lucky we were to have them in our lives is how greatly we feel their loss. I'm afraid there's no magic solution to take the pain of that loss away, some people quickly get another to fill the hole, others find they need more time. Eventually once sufficient time has passed you will look back with happy memories, meantime be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve.
 

meleeka

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Joined
14 September 2001
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6,915
Location
Hants, England
I’m sorry that you are going through this. I’m another that’s no help. It devastated me, although I think it was probably slightly more bearable as I still had another dog at home. Have a virtual hug xxx
 

Bellasophia

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Joined
13 May 2014
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2,096
Location
Italy
Im sorry for your loss. When they leave us I find it helpful to remember there is a cycle of life.Your beautiful dog embraced her life with you and now is at peace without pain.Your pain is your love for her spilling out of your broken heart. Treat yourself kindly,it’s ok to cry.I still miss each and every one of my dogs but the pain is now replaced by the memories we shared.
i plant a bush for some,definitely have photos in my home of them all and these give me comfort and I can smile at the good times we had,
I also believe when the house feels too empty and the walks pointless it’s also ok to bring new life into your home.Your girl will still be around in spirit and wouldn’t want you not to feel love again.
 

SAujla

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Joined
4 September 2019
Messages
551
Very sorry for your loss, it would be strange if you didn't feel the way you are right now. It's okay to be sad and you clearly gave her the best life she could possibly have.
 

Pearlsasinger

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Joined
20 February 2009
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37,181
Location
W. Yorks
I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately there is no painless way of 'getting over' (I prefer 'coming to terms with') the loss of any loved one, be it human or animal. All you can do is get on with the rest of your life and take the time that is needed for you. I prefer to find another animal to care for but I also usually have another one that needs to be cared for, which I find helps. Try to focus on remembering the good times and the fact that you are obviously a good owner who cares very well for your pets.
 

FinnishLapphund

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Joined
28 June 2008
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9,574
Location
w(b)est coast of Sweden
I'm so sorry for your loss.
When one of my late pets have died I grieve, with some different nuances. I remember when my dog Humla died (/had to be euthanised), about 12 years ago by now, it was the first time my grief have made me feeI as if the world had actually stopped spinning.

I can still vividly recall when I one or two days afterwards stopped to look out the living room window. It felt so strange to see cars driving by, and I thought it was strange that the drivers hadn't noticed that our globe wasn't spinning any more.
Then it took some moments before I could accept that people drove by, because it was only my world that had stopped.

Fortunately I had Jonna, my Finnish Lapphund, and the cats Selma + Berta, which all needed feeding, Jonna needed her walks, and the cats litter boxes needed to be cleaned. So I had to continue to take care of them, to have the energy to do that, I had to eat... And since even my life carried on, the feeling of that the world had stopped spinning disappeared after some days, but the rest of my grief continued for some time.

Then came Blomma, and Beata, my other 2 Finnish Lapphunds, and the cycle of dog owning continued. We found Cilla, an about 4 weeks old kitten nearly frozen, and starved to death, 2 years later. Then Selma the cat died, her room in my heart became empty, full of sorrow, and I grieved again. But it didn't feel as if the world had stopped, so yet again, it was a bit different nuances compared to previous times.

Now Selma's, Humla's, and the others who have gone before them, rooms in my heart aren't only full of sorrow, without the happy memories is also there.

Lots of {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}, take care of yourself.
 
Joined
9 July 2012
Messages
14,849
I’m so sorry for your loss, and I completely understand how you feel 😔 I find that it always takes time to come to terms with such losses - be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve, in time you will begin to remember the happy, fun, lovely times as well and that makes things a lot more bearable when you can think about the wonderful life you had together x
 

Bradsmum

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Joined
2 May 2011
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1,032
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Made it to Wales
So sorry for your loss. They play such a big part in our lives so it's no surprise how greatly they are missed. Give yourself time to grieve and take comfort in knowing she had a great life and knew she was loved and safe.
 

Errin Paddywack

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Joined
20 June 2019
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2,775
I have a friend who will be facing this in the not too distant future. Her old girl is her emotional support dog. Gem is a very dignified Tibetan Mastiff, always calm and has been tremendous help to her, an absolute rock through some very rough times. She is now 14.5 yrs an incredible age for her breed. Her full sister died a few months ago so a long lived family. Friend has 4 yr old TM as well but a totally different character, more needy and reactive, not a good support dog. I really don't know how she is going to cope when Gem finally has to go, think I am dreading it and the fall out from it nearly as much as she is.
 

FinnishLapphund

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Joined
28 June 2008
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9,574
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w(b)est coast of Sweden
I have a friend who will be facing this in the not too distant future. Her old girl is her emotional support dog. Gem is a very dignified Tibetan Mastiff, always calm and has been tremendous help to her, an absolute rock through some very rough times. She is now 14.5 yrs an incredible age for her breed. Her full sister died a few months ago so a long lived family. Friend has 4 yr old TM as well but a totally different character, more needy and reactive, not a good support dog. I really don't know how she is going to cope when Gem finally has to go, think I am dreading it and the fall out from it nearly as much as she is.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend's situation. It sounds like a fabulous age to have reached for such a large dog, but that doesn't make the loss hurt less when it happens, nor helps your friend with the problem of losing her emotional support dog.
Fingers crossed for that her current second dog either is very late to mature/have some sort of epiphany about that he doesn't need to be so reactive, or perhaps that when that days comes, that your friend is able to get a new second dog, which is more suitable to take over as emotional support dog.
 

Griffin

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16 September 2012
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1,375
Oh I do feel for you. It is so hard to lose any pet and some pets just seem to find an extra special corner of your heart, which makes their loss just harder. I think it is also really hard with dogs because, like with horses, you don't just look after them, you share experiences with them on your walks etc.

Everyone copes with the loss of a pet differently and there is no right or wrong way, just your way.
 

misst

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Joined
29 January 2008
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3,666
No easy answer but have a hug. It's terrible. It's terrible every time yet we go back for more.
I lost my old girl in November last year. I still had my little boy. In January I got a puppy. Not a replacement but she took my mind off things and gave us all a boost. She made us laugh and she was company for my little lad. Now I cannot imagine life without her. I still miss Tilly but in a sad/good way not in that raw horrible way.
Not everyone wants another dog but that is what helped me. You will find your own solace but until you do grieve as you need to and don't let anyone ever say "it was just a dog" xx
 

Mrs Jingle

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Joined
17 September 2009
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2,412
I am so sorry you are having had to go through this - absolutely heartbreaking for you. I lost both of ours within 4 weeks a few months back - we have one new one in our life now who we adore - but I can still shed a tear from time to time remembering my other 2, it never really leaves me to be honest.

But being rather old and experienced the devastating loss of a much loved dog many times over the years, I have grown to expect it and accept it is something I have to carry with me for ever, that little bit of heartbreak for each one of them that I was privileged enough to have with me for their lifetime.

Be kind to yourself - you won't ever 'get over it' - you will learn to live with it and cope with it in different ways as time passes.
 

splashgirl45

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6 March 2010
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suffolk
its never easy, i went with a friend to collect her puppy last week and it bought back memories of when we went to collect my lurcher and i found myself really missing her all over again. i lost her 4 years ago and it feels like yesterday. the loss never goes away but we learn to cope with it. i still had my collie so had to go for walks and i think the fresh air and walking helped me. maybe try and go for a few walks it may help you to cope. i spent many walks crying but i think it helped. so sorry, hugs xx
 

Sandstone1

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Joined
16 July 2010
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5,977
its never easy, i went with a friend to collect her puppy last week and it bought back memories of when we went to collect my lurcher and i found myself really missing her all over again. i lost her 4 years ago and it feels like yesterday. the loss never goes away but we learn to cope with it. i still had my collie so had to go for walks and i think the fresh air and walking helped me. maybe try and go for a few walks it may help you to cope. i spent many walks crying but i think it helped. so sorry, hugs xx
Going for long walks with my remaining dog has helped me a lot. Memories come back as we walk and so do tears and eventually smiles.
 

AFB

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28 February 2017
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1,595
Having lost mine 4 1/2 years ago now, I genuinely found that time was the only healer. It's a soul destroying experience but you will, down the line, be able to look back at the happy memories and laugh at all the silly things they did.

Cry, grieve, and don't put a timescale on yourself.
 

PippiPony

Chocolatier and Greyhound lover
Joined
29 August 2007
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16,021
Location
Vale of Belvoir
So sorry for your loss. I lost my girl 3 weeks ago. I couldn't cope with the emptiness of the house, so 10 days ago i adopted a pair of rescue greyhound sisters and the house seems so much happier. I still miss my girl dreadfully, but the young sisters are keeping me occupied and making me smile.
 
Joined
7 September 2020
Messages
8
So sorry to hear you have lost your beautiful girl. It is one of the toughest things to go through in life when we lose our beloved friends. The grief you are feeling is a reflection of the deep love and connection you had with her. No matter how old they are it never makes it any easier. She will have spent a wonderful life knowing she was utterly loved and cared for. No dog could ask for more. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve. I would agree with other posts that sometimes adopting a new little one when the time is right can help to fill the emptiness in your heart with a new love. It is heartbreaking but time does help to heal.
 
Joined
30 August 2020
Messages
6
I know this is a really hard time for you. I couldn't bear to look at the pet food aisle in the supermarket for weeks after my dog died. You know in your heart that you did the kindest thing so just take a step at a time with your grief and in time it will ease. I found it easier once winter set in as I had to do the mucking out etc. You'll get through this.
 
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