Coping with yard bitchiness

[Penny Less]

Having been at the receiving end of the above, I have been considering trying to find my own yard for ages (with no success). Dont know it is best to ignore whats going on and rise above it, or move yard possibly going into another similar situation. Has anyone here gone out of the frying pan into the fire so to speak?

 

[Morgan123]

poor you :-( I think it depends on the situation, what sort of bitchiness and would your YO help sort it out? I think all yards have their cliques, but just some worse than others... and oyu never know till you get there... so depends how bad it is whether it's worth moving.

 

[wildcard]

definately ignore, if ultimately what they are saying isnt correct or hurt you in anyway just ignore livery yards are terrible for people always knowing better than you and putting down people that are doing more with there horses than others. If the facilities are good, field hay straw stable whatever are all as you like them then just try and ignore. Im on a lovely yard with all the facilities i need perfect for me but if i was to listen to some of the people on it id go mad!!! just go down and do your horse bitchy people soon get bored if they dont get a reaction!! I find somestimes people can try drag you into conversations i now just politly refuse to comment as you can guarantee anything said gets twisted. This is the horse world im afraid and not everyone of course but there are some.

Good luck and Hope you get it sorted.. so difficult sometimes to keep snumpt when people are just going off on one about things they dont have a clue on.. xxxxx

 

[ossy]

I've been on a few big bitchy yards and even though not really being involved either end in it I hated being in that environment.

I moved to a smaller yard, just 8 liveries and there's pretty much no bitchiness, we all get along well, hack out togeather ect its great, so there are places out there better, don't just accept it thinking its the norm on yards i'd never go back to a big yard.

 

[Penny Less]

Yard does otherwise suit me, just sick of watching everything I say in case a particular person takes it the wrong way. Have to seethe quietly, but fear I may be guilty of disposing of a body in the muck heap!

 

[xTrooperx]

rise above it if you can and hopefully things should settle, if not then fo your own state of mind think about moving.

i went from one very very interefering yard, to one where there is no interefering or really any interaction between ppl, my horse could have colic or be dead and no-one would notice, so be careful what you wish for.

 

[Bryndu]

Yard does otherwise suit me, just sick of watching everything I say in case a particular person takes it the wrong way. Have to seethe quietly, but fear I may be guilty of disposing of a body in the muck heap!

Poor you...
Quite a good put down is
'You didn't like my opinion last time.....so please don't ask for it again..'

Hope the situation improves for you.
Best wishes
Bryndu

 

[CBFan]

I just speak to a select few people who I know can be civil enough to treat me with respect. I can't be waisting my breath with people who like to throw insults around for the sake of it and communicate in a series of F words.

 

[riding_high]

Yard does otherwise suit me, just sick of watching everything I say in case a particular person takes it the wrong way. Have to seethe quietly, but fear I may be guilty of disposing of a body in the muck heap!

i'm having the same problem, unfortunately this person is so sly and manipulative i now don't speak to most of the yard, she has told them she's scared of me and that i threatened her etc but as soon as they look away she is sneering at me, if she overhears a conversation i'm having with someone she either buts in or makes nasty comments under her breath.
she's told them all on the yard that i can't manage any other horse but mine and that's why i have mine, 2 little ponies, who could possibly be scared of them and a very good, well mannered horse.
i make sure i'm not alone up there anymore because i know i will be burying a body in the muck heap. i'm not scared of her i'm scared of what i will do.

 

[Penny Less]

Well Riding High perhaps we should take instruction from that film Strangers on a Train and do each others muck heap burying, that way no one connects us with the deed and we both have an alibi!

 

[rossiroo]

If the yard suits you then try to rise above any comments, people who say nasty things carry on when they get a response. If you are polite and don't get involved they usually get fed up and either give up or go on to hassle someone else.

 

[Super_Kat]

Stick your iPod (or other generic MP3) on and ignore the world, Thats my way

 

[Hedwards]

I really feel for you, its horrible isnt it. I'm having similar problems on my yard, where two people who I had been very good friends with for a long time have suddenly seemed to get a bit too big for their boots (two other liveries have left the yard for reasons connected to them), I was given rules about what I could and couldnt do by them (including leaving a haynet outside my stable - aparently thats cruel... but alright for them when one of their horses has been on box rest - grrr sorry for small rant there), I've separated myself off a bit as I was just a bit sick of them constantly looking for a bit of drama, and enjoying 'snitching' on other liveries. It feels like being back at playschool! I'm moving stables (not moving yards, just location within the yard!) next weekend to get away from it properly, although the other reason is to move my mare next to another friends, as we share winter jobs between us...

I just want to go to the yard and enjoy my horse, its a hobby I do for fun!

If you can, I'd just try and rise above it all, and get on with your horses and not worry about what anyone else says/thinks!

 

[riding_high]

Well Riding High perhaps we should take instruction from that film Strangers on a Train and do each others muck heap burying, that way no one connects us with the deed and we both have an alibi!

lol sounds like a plan!

i've tried all the usual things of music, ignoring etc but with some people it's not that easy, they deliberately berate you until you snap, this person comes right into my personal space, rides her horse into me and things like that, there's only so much a person can take!

she was trying to bully another livery who i was friends with and once she left the bully started on me thinking i was a push over, as it turned out she got me wrong.

 

[Hedwards]

lol sounds like a plan!

i've tried all the usual things of music, ignoring etc but with some people it's not that easy, they deliberately berate you until you snap, this person comes right into my personal space, rides her horse into me and things like that, there's only so much a person can take!

she was trying to bully another livery who i was friends with and once she left the bully started on me thinking i was a push over, as it turned out she got me wrong.

I generally think there are some people who cannot live their lives without creating some sort of drama for themselves (see my previous post on this thread!) - maybe they have absolutely nothing else to satisfy them elsewhere in life.

 

[Winklepoker]

My views on yard bitches are - that they are nearly ALWAYS jealous of what you have/do/achieve and resent the fact that you are up there enjoying your time and your horse. If anything, you should pity them and their sad lives with nothing else to talk about. Take it as a compliment - rise above it and bloody well show them what you are capable of!!

 

[rossiroo]

Totaly agree with Heyward, thease people seem to always need drama or reaction to feed on. Some of us however just want a peacefull life to enjoy our horses with. (just realised I sound like an old hippie)

 

[Hedwards]

Totaly agree with Heyward, thease people seem to always need drama or reaction to feed on. Some of us however just want a peacefull life to enjoy our horses with. (just realised I sound like an old hippie)

Old hippie is better than yard bitch in my book!!

 

[Achinghips]

Small yards in particular seem notorious for this. I like bigger more impersonal Yards, where I don't know or speak to anyone, apart from a smile, nod and a HI, if I have to
A life outside the Yard for socialising is always the best move.

 

[-Sj-]

It's so hard and I feel your pain. I have also been quite conflicted for the last couple of months over yard bitchyness.
We are full livery at our yard,with and outdoor school, jumping field and small indoor and it suits us and it's a really good competition yard but quite private at the same time.
I like the owners of the yard alot and think very highly of them, I also feel my daughter gets great lessons with yo. I enjoy the social side of it too, chats at the yard and nights out ect.
There is one livery who has been there since the year dot who acts as if she owns the place!
Anyhoo, I had our wee sec a in a muzzle over the spring/summer and as I was bringing him in from the field one day she stopped us all smiles and said "Aww, I do hate to see them in those things but at his size he really does need one" and she walked away....
I was understandable really upset by this and was chatting to the YO who was also really puzzled by her comment as IMO our boy was in fine condition! So anyway the story goes.... YO had a word in her ear and all hett up about being pulled up she stomped over to me.... yadda yadda she did not say that ect ect. We don't speak now, and I make a point of not going near her at all. I'm not the only person she did it to over the summer, she voices her opiniion like she is the guru grand mater of all things horsey!! grr.

It really made me consider my options, but at the moment the yard we are at is defo the best place for my wee girl and as I said above I think so highly of the YO's.

Pic of my wee ones to confirm his condition at the time! (Just incase people think I must have a podgy pony LOL!)

Hope you don't mind my pic wh*ring lol x

 

[abina]

To all really .... if you are having problems then you ought to report it to your YM or YO as this is part and parcel of their job ...to keep the smooth running of the yard, in a professional and objective manner. This is what they get paid for ...

You all pay your hard earned cash to be able to keep your horse in a yard / stable complex that offers the facilities advertised and is run in a smooth, professional manner with an enviroment that is happy for horse, owner and rider.

It's a basic requirement. Nobody has the right to bully anyone else.

I read so many threads about 'bully' tactics by certain clients at livery yards and I personally lay the blame at the feet of the YO / YM for unprofessional and weak mangement. A manager should manage and that not only means the equines in their care but people too. It's a tough job and a weak YM will pull a business down very quickly and let secondary leaders rise to the top.

 

[Achinghips]

I read so many threads about 'bully' tactics by certain clients at livery yards and I personally lay the blame at the feet of the YO / YM for unprofessional and weak mangement. A manager should manage and that not only means the equines in their care but people too. It's a tough job and a weak YM will pull a business down very quickly and let secondary leaders rise to the top.

This. If yard manager doesn't shape up, take responsibility or indeed adds to the culture, move Yards. You will not regret it

 

[Niddlynoo]

From my experience yard bitchiness is normal! I have had times when I have re-arranged my day to avoid people, not used the school because of the bitchy comments. Horses are supposed to be fun! I have found though, that horse owners tend to move around a bit, so to leave a yard where you are otherwise happy could backfire when the person you are trying to avoid leaves as well!!!

 

[Magnetic Sparrow]

I've been at my current yard for pushing 10 years. It's not huge, but there's enough people for it to be cliquey sometimes. It only takes one bad attitude to ruin the harmony that usually reigns. It only takes one person leaving to resume normal service. Hang in there, they may just leave.

Can you ignore the jerk and just get on with your own business at the yard? That works for me, but it might not work for everyone.

 

[Dirtymare]

My views on yard bitches are - that they are nearly ALWAYS jealous of what you have/do/achieve and resent the fact that you are up there enjoying your time and your horse. If anything, you should pity them and their sad lives with nothing else to talk about. Take it as a compliment - rise above it and bloody well show them what you are capable of!!

Never a true word spoken/written Winklepoker

 

[Pedantic]

Our yard has it's clique, but nice thing is, everyones in it

 

[Penny Less]

Well am trying to keep my big gob shut but just had another spiteful incident. Anyway as you all say unless you are on your own premises its fairly certain you will end up on another yard with the same problem! I keep hoping said person will up and leave as its not nice having to time yard visits to avoid them. I think Ill have to see *who blinks first*.
Always found at work when working in a male dominated environment we all got on pretty well, as soon as more females got in it was dreadful.

 

[OldNag]

Our yard has it's clique, but nice thing is, everyones in it

Sounds like mine!

OP I'm really sorry you're in such an awful situation. I was in a similar one as a working pupil some 20 yrs ago - I have never worked in such a bitchy environment. I have no idea why it was so bad but it was terrible. If it wasn't for the horses I'd have bailed out very quickly!

Fast forward 20 years and I've just got a pony for kids and am about to get a horse for myself - the yard we are on is an absolute joy - no nastiness at all.

It really is worth looking around and I hope you find somewhere that is much more pleasant to be at.

 

[ticketyboo]

I am dreading the fact that I may have to up sticks from my private field to a yard for all the reasons stated above!!!
I rescued my little pony a couple of years ago but have no jockey for her so literally last week decided to sell her so I can concentrate on the new horse I just purchased.
Friend that I shared my field with has now just sold her horse, new owner is moving to yard closer to her home and that leaves me in a field by myself, all winter with all the work to do myself and I'm just not sure I have the funds to go up twice a day, keep two ponies all winter by myself, morning and evening feeds, all the poo picking and now nobody to hack out with either!!!
Looks like I may have to sell the little one and move my big man to a yard and endure all the yard politics, cliques and bitching but I did find that there are great people to meet on yards too and you just have to hope that the good out weighs the bad but am dreading it

Good luck to all having problems and well done to all who are not

Ignore the bad and stick with the good...

x

 

[Merrymoles]

My views on yard bitches are - that they are nearly ALWAYS jealous of what you have/do/achieve and resent the fact that you are up there enjoying your time and your horse. If anything, you should pity them and their sad lives with nothing else to talk about. Take it as a compliment - rise above it and bloody well show them what you are capable of!!

This ^^^