kyanya
Well-Known Member
Just in need of some impartial advice please - I'm having a bad day and beginning to doubt myself.
As a bit of background, I'd been sharing a horse (P) at a local yard since about last October. P was only on loan there though, and in January time I was told P would be going back to his actual home, so leaving the yard, around the end of February. I let others on the yard know I'd like to keep sharing at the yard if anyone else needed a sharer, and I had soon had an offer to try another horse on the yard (H), which I did and liked (all with P's loaners permission).
I then agreed with H's owner that I'd start sharing when P left the yard. I was then told that P would be leaving at the end of March, and agreed with both P and H's owners that I would do each one day a week during March, which seemed to work for everyone, as P wasn't in regular work, it'd give me a chance to get used to H and meant I still did 2 evenings per week as normal.
The start of March came and I was doing both P and H 1 night per week (both set days, only needing to groom/tack up/ride/put to bed/feed), then on the third week my OH fell down the stairs one morning, had to go to A&E and then was laid up at home. This was my day to do H, so I text H's owner in the morning saying I couldn't ride cos I felt bad to leave OH alone in the evening as well as all day, but offered to go up if anything needed doing, but she seemed fine and said I didn't need to go to the yard.
The following week I was at the theatre with work on the night I did H - I let the owner know the day before I couldn't make it to the yard.
It was now end of March, P had left the yard and I was meant to be doing H 2 nights per week, although these hadn't been set and agreed because H's owner had started having lessons on 1 of the nights a week I'd been doing before (the one I'd been doing P on), but hadn't discussed it with me. However, on the weekend at the end of March, I went to ride a friends horse and fell off jumping. By Tuesday, my back had become really painful so I went to the doctors. They told me give it time and don't ride until it feels better, so I reluctantly took this advice as I couldn't have coped if the pain got worse, and told H's owner I wouldn't be able to ride for a while. I did offer to go up and spend time with H on my evenings, but H's owner said not to worry cos she'd be at the yard anyway.
A week later, by back had been feeling better until I managed to pull it again, so I updated H's owner, who said not to worry as she didn't want her schooled that week as she was doing dressage as the weekend. I asked her if she minded me going along to watch at the weekend (as I hadn't seen either her or H for a while) and I never got a response.
H's owner text me today to ask if I'd be riding - I said my back isn't quite right, but hopefully I'd be able to ride again next week. She text me back saying not to worry about riding H anymore, as she needs someone consistent.
So could I have handled this better? Could I have avoided it? I'll be looking at sharing again, not sure if at this yard or another, but I want to try and avoid this happening again - I don't like annoying people or messing people around.
As a bit of background, I'd been sharing a horse (P) at a local yard since about last October. P was only on loan there though, and in January time I was told P would be going back to his actual home, so leaving the yard, around the end of February. I let others on the yard know I'd like to keep sharing at the yard if anyone else needed a sharer, and I had soon had an offer to try another horse on the yard (H), which I did and liked (all with P's loaners permission).
I then agreed with H's owner that I'd start sharing when P left the yard. I was then told that P would be leaving at the end of March, and agreed with both P and H's owners that I would do each one day a week during March, which seemed to work for everyone, as P wasn't in regular work, it'd give me a chance to get used to H and meant I still did 2 evenings per week as normal.
The start of March came and I was doing both P and H 1 night per week (both set days, only needing to groom/tack up/ride/put to bed/feed), then on the third week my OH fell down the stairs one morning, had to go to A&E and then was laid up at home. This was my day to do H, so I text H's owner in the morning saying I couldn't ride cos I felt bad to leave OH alone in the evening as well as all day, but offered to go up if anything needed doing, but she seemed fine and said I didn't need to go to the yard.
The following week I was at the theatre with work on the night I did H - I let the owner know the day before I couldn't make it to the yard.
It was now end of March, P had left the yard and I was meant to be doing H 2 nights per week, although these hadn't been set and agreed because H's owner had started having lessons on 1 of the nights a week I'd been doing before (the one I'd been doing P on), but hadn't discussed it with me. However, on the weekend at the end of March, I went to ride a friends horse and fell off jumping. By Tuesday, my back had become really painful so I went to the doctors. They told me give it time and don't ride until it feels better, so I reluctantly took this advice as I couldn't have coped if the pain got worse, and told H's owner I wouldn't be able to ride for a while. I did offer to go up and spend time with H on my evenings, but H's owner said not to worry cos she'd be at the yard anyway.
A week later, by back had been feeling better until I managed to pull it again, so I updated H's owner, who said not to worry as she didn't want her schooled that week as she was doing dressage as the weekend. I asked her if she minded me going along to watch at the weekend (as I hadn't seen either her or H for a while) and I never got a response.
H's owner text me today to ask if I'd be riding - I said my back isn't quite right, but hopefully I'd be able to ride again next week. She text me back saying not to worry about riding H anymore, as she needs someone consistent.
So could I have handled this better? Could I have avoided it? I'll be looking at sharing again, not sure if at this yard or another, but I want to try and avoid this happening again - I don't like annoying people or messing people around.
If you have a commitment then you need to honour it.
so I'd want consistency and if the sharer really gives a damn, I reckon they'd be up to see the horse anyway or arrange a different day at the very least.