Could I sell? Should I sell? Long one sorry!

[! Hackinghappy!]

Looking for some advice please!

I have a 11 year old mare who is currently living her best life as a field ornament due to my lack of time.

I have 2 young kids, a dog, a busy job - oh and a husband who would quite like to see me now and again.

I bought this horse about 4 years ago after taking a 2 year break from horse owning (because of the demands of a young child). I hadn't intended on having any more children but hey ho it happened. After a nice year of riding while I was on maternity leave the reality of owning a horse, juggling 2 kids and a full time job was starting to hit. Then my mare was diagnosed with mild, bilateral PSD so needed treatment (steroids and remedial shoes) and rehab which took much longer than intended because I couldn't commit to a daily program and was able to exercise her 3 to 4 times per week. In fact we're still no where near doing what we used to because I'm being more cautious than I need to be - physio and vet are delighted with her and say crack on, she's fine but there is a chance she'll reach a limit and breakdown again and require more treatment (steroids) and a lighter workload.

I'm currently in a position where I honestly don't think I want a horse any more. I resent the time and money I have to spend on her vs. spending time with the kids and unfortunately the effort to keep her feels like it's outweighing my enjoyment of her. My yard is nice and by far the best in the area but it's not a sociable yard so I don't really get the benefits of that social side of horse owning that I love so much. Most of my friends now are non horsey so that's another juggle as I have to turn down things with them because I need to sort to horse.

BUT!!! I went through the same situation about 6 years ago with my last horse (who had no issues and was a horse of a lifetime). I found it all too much and after trying and failing to find a sharer or loaner I sold him to the perfect home - I do sometimes regret as he really was the best and my worry is will the same happen again? The difference with my current mare is that while she is lovely and sweet and bombproof, she's not my horse of a lifetime - she hates schooling and while she will do it, she doesn't enjoy it. She can be very lazy (and no, it's not pain related as believe me she's had all the checks), and some days it's a work out trying to go for a short hack (other days she's fine).

If I could find her the perfect home as I was able to for my gelding I honestly think I'd give her away - but I don't know if that is possible because of her issues which include -

Poor confirmation - she's long in the back, has turns on both front legs and now her PDS
Weight management - she is a fatty and summers require strict weight management
Abilities - she's a fab hacker - I mean will hack anywhere and does not spook but she's not a fan of schooling. I'm now at the point where we have reached an understanding and she will walk and trot and do some schooling for me if she's in the right mood but she's not great at cantering in the school (although this may be due to her psd - I've not tried it since her rehab). She will nap to the gate and happily drag your foot along the indoor wall of arena - but she doesn't buck, rear etc so nothing dangerous.
Poor start in life - behavior wise she's a saint - my kids ride her. She did however have a pretty rubbish time before I bought her and had been in about 9 homes including through 2 dealers by the time I bought her and I am loath to risk putting her through that again a she is such a sweetheart

So thoughts please? Should I sell? Would anyone buy her and give her a good home?

 

[eggs]

Would it be possible to put her out on loan? That way you will have an element of control over her and if you then find that you really miss having her you could always have her back.

I don't believe that horse ownership is right for everyone at all times and it does rather sound as though your family are now taking precedence so there is no shame in admitting that you are not getting anything out of having your horse and she may well be better off with some-one else.

 

[skint1]

If she was a weight carrier she sounds just what I needed before I bought the horse I did (who has similar issues but isn't currently rideable) I also have a gelding with PPID and requires management so I wouldn't find that offputting at all. I think there will be plenty of people who would love to give her a good home. I would totally be interested if I had the capacity

 

[! Hackinghappy!]

Thanks both. She's a reasonable weight carrier. Only 14.2 thought which I think would put people off.

Re full loan. I'm not sure on that. Could be an option but given I struggled with my last horse would would literally turn his hood to anything I think that's put me off. Plus there would be the worry of finding livery if she did need to come back - only one decent livery yard in the area and I'm already there.

 

[rabatsa]

Would she suit an RDA group? Most do not do lots of "schooling" with their horses and ponies as they do a lot of on lead work. The RDA I volunteer with have people who hack the horses out to prevent them getting sour.

She sounds like the typical RDA pony to me and just what a lot of groups are looking for if not too expensive, (mine included).

 

[! Hackinghappy!]

RDA could possibly be an option as she is very safe on or off lead. Would RDA want you take on a horse though with known issues that require remedial shoeing and potentially further treatment?

 

[planete]

I gifted an 18 year old ex-trekking cob to an RDA centre many years ago. He was a good reliable hack but did not school. No harm in asking whether they would be interested in your horse.

 

[stangs]

Presuming she’s fine being lead, and a good sized weight carrier, I would put her on loan with the RDA if they take her. That way, she’s not going to get moved around and there’s a possibility of you being able to take her back if you want.

 

[! Hackinghappy!]

Thanks. I'm not sure how keen I'd be to loan. It's that balance between being able to bring her back if I wanted Vs. Not having the worry of having to bring her back and find livery etc

 

[eahotson]

If she is a good solid back there are plenty of people who would not care less if she never went near a school.

 

[Ambers Echo]

I'd not loan either in your situation. It sounds like it is hard enough managing a horse when you are fully set up to do it and in a routine with it - having a horse unexpectedly returned would be even harder. I think she is sellable as she is, but you'd have to put some effort into finding the right home - not somewhere that will buy cheap and sell on without disclosing her issues to an unsuitable home. Thats why I would never give a horse away apart from to someone I totally trusted. Dodgy Dealers do pose as long-term-home buyers then sellers see their horse advertised for 3 times the price a week later!

Id write a very honest ad - much as you have above - and price her accordingly, then vet homes thoroughly. When I was selling Toby - who was also quite cheap for what he was - I wanted photos of there he was going etc and names/addresses and did a fair bit of stalking. In the end he went to a friend which was even better.

 

[Julie Ole Girl]

Well, I got my gorgeous mare on loan, she was 19 and her owner didn't want loan money, just someone to love her. After a year, her owner who visited, could see how much I loved her and actually gave her to me for free. She wasn't what I was looking for but after a few financial disasters with previous horses I couldn't afford to buy another one. I got lucky, she is a dream, hunts and all sorts and loves life. If you can find the right loaner for free, that could be an option for you, but you must keep in touch.

 

[SEL]

A friend sold through Right Horse Right Home and speaks highly of the experience.

 

[Jango]

All horses that will do a job will sell for the right price. It sounds like she will do a safe, happy hacker job and I would advise her honestly and priced accordingly. The vast majority of native or cobby 14.2s will need some weight management and lots of mares are long in the back. Home inspect and take references for anyone interested and I think you will find someone for her

 

[Squeak]

I don't know a huge amount about PDS but the poor confirmation and weight management are fairly common. Something that is good to hack should definitely be sellable so I would have thought it would be a case of making sure that you fully disclose the veterinary history and dislike of schooling but I'd be surprised if you didn't have people who just want to hack who would be interested in her.

 

[Old school]

I feel for you. It is a difficult situation. If it is of any consolation, I went through something similar. When the children were small, I was loaning a horse out. He came back once but then went on to a fab home. He is still there almost 8 years on. There is a huge demand for your type of mare.

Also, when you are maxed out, managing a horse health issue can feel a huge time/money cost/burden. But for someone without your extras (family/Small children), it could just be a simple task to be managed. Good luck and try not to worry too much.

 

[! Hackinghappy!]

Thanks for all the replies. Lots to think about.

I think I'm going to wait until new year before making any decisions. She's booked in to get some dental work then anyway and I wouldn't do anything before then.

I'd written off the idea of getting a sharer for her but I might start there and see if I can find someone who is suitable which will help a little with costs and responsibilities. I think my biggest concern is that I sell her, she breaks down then gets punted around so I think I owe it to her to test her workload limits a bit more and if she copes then I can sell her with a bit more confidence in her capabilities.

 

[RainCloud101]

I could have written your post myself. I’m currently in exactly the same situation. I’ve just sold my mare to a lovely home (she leaves next week). I wrote an honest ad and was blown away by responses. Family and life is stressful enough, and I did consider loaning her out but once we feel the freedom of not having to drag the kids to yard I’m not sure I’ll come back to it for a while. For me taking on a part loan is more achievable whilst finding the balance…and maybe I’ll start being invited to things and not having to say no as I need to go to the stables! Good luck!

 

[Frano]

where are you based?

 

[PonyIAmNotFood]

This could have described a cob I had but she didn't have the PSD issues. She hated schooling, only interested in ambling round the country side. Was 4 horses stuck together, terrible conformation. She was the kindest, sweetest mare though. Sold her as what she was/is, she's been with the fella 3 or 4 years now and they get on great, he loves her and she does a job she likes. I think I could have still found her such a nice home even if she had something like PSD, the buyer wasn't bothered, he just wanted a lifetime horse to hack about with.