Could You Have A Horse And Deal With Not Riding It?

[acorn92x]

There is a lady who I have become quite good friends with at the yard who has really lost her love of riding because of having a few quite bad falls and confidence knocks. Whilst she has no real desire to ride anymore, she still really wants to have a horse to look after, take on inhand walks, spoil, pamper and dote on but is not fussed at all about riding it. She is talking about selling her current horse, who is a lovely TB allrounder who I think would be perfect for a teenager wanting to go out and have fun so I don't think she'd have trouble selling it and buying or taking on a horse which either cannot be ridden (Due to past injury or whatever) or is elderly just to love and care for. Lady is a cracking owner, really knowledgeable and caring (Although she works full time, she has a good job and spends a lot of money caring for and pampering her current horse) and the yard has great turnout and facilities, horses come in at night and there are lots of other horses out in the fields too.

Basically, what I'm asking would be if you had lost your interest in riding but still wanted a horse to dote on, would you take on a non ridden companion? I said if this is what she wants, and what she thinks is right then to go for it but to give careful thought about whether she would miss riding or have any desire to go back to it in the future. I suggested loaning her current horse out to a competitive home where it would get more exercise and get something more suitable to rebuild her confidence but she wasn't interested as she seems to feel like her confidence has passed the brink of repair. Advice please and thank you if you got this far!

 

[bertin12]

I've been in this situation. My current horse I bought as a project to re-break but things didn't go to plan and I've made the decision he won't be a riding pony. So basically I've just had a giant dog! He gets freeschooled a bit and occasionally we take him out for a walk to give him a change of scenery (did this more at old yard because we were right next to the woods).
However I'm going to be putting him out on loan as a companion now because I've started having riding lessons and realised I do actually miss riding, I've just got used to not riding.
So maybe your friend needs think if she will really ever want to ride again, has she just adapted to not riding and is now used to it

 

[Wagtail]

Definitely. However I would only want to keep the horse I had and loved. I could never sell a horse on that I loved to get a strange horse and let my original horse go to an unknown future. So even though I understand the logic of this lady's idea, and think it is great that someone would do that, I don't understand that if she loves her current horse enough to pamper and keep him even though she doesn't want to ride, how she could possibly let him go. Who knows where he will end up.

 

[Copperpot]

She could just keep Her current horse. I'm sure he's happy being pampered and doesn't care about being ridden 😊

 

[acorn92x]

Izzy, I was thinking along similar lines to you. I think her horse is just too forward thinking for her considering she has had her confidence knocked (By her previous horse, not this one) and at the moment, it's very clear that she doesn't want to ride. She is a really good rider but it's obvious that she doesn't enjoy it and she picks holes in what she is doing and how she feels. She has had a couple of instructors come to give her lessons and both have been very good and tried to help spur her on and give her direction but it doesn't seem to stick.

Her horse is a lovely, genuine type - I'm not the best or most confident of riders on large horses (She is a 16.2 TB) but she is an absolute saint, incredibly forgiving and will sort herself out with strides for jumping, moves nicely and is great to hack but she is very forward going. Lady has done a couple of BE 80s and a 90 with her when she first got her and she has been in the top 15 everytime out so would be a lovely type for a teenager looking to start eventing - if she was smaller, I'd rider her a bit more but I'm 5'1 and prefer riding ponies so I feel a bit overhorsed. I don't think she'd have problem selling her or loaning her out (I think loaning would be best at the moment) until she regained her confidence and love for riding as I think it would be madness to sell her. She's a wonderful horse and the lady clearly loves her but I think her logic is that she will be wasted with her. It's a sad situation really.

 

[ihatework]

OP I think you are in danger of trying to inadvertently push your feelings onto the current owner.

The owner sounds like an experienced horse owner. There is no rule to say they should ride their horse and if they can't they must move it on.

They could either keep the horse as a pet, or another option would be to support a young rider and let them compete the horse. Whatever will give the owner the most pleasure / satisfaction.

 

[bertin12]

I'd say either keep the horse if it's happy being pampered and not being ridden, or loan it out so that she knows where it is and maybe if she sees someone else really enjoying riding her then it may encourage her to get back on and have a go.
Or could she look into getting a sharer to ride it a few times a week, then the horse still gets worked but also she still gets to pamper and take care of it?

 

[acorn92x]

OP I think you are in danger of trying to inadvertently push your feelings onto the current owner.

The owner sounds like an experienced horse owner. There is no rule to say they should ride their horse and if they can't they must move it on.

They could either keep the horse as a pet, or another option would be to support a young rider and let them compete the horse. Whatever will give the owner the most pleasure / satisfaction.

The lady wants to sell her horse because she thinks not riding her is a waste - I think she should loan her in case she ever changes her mind and feelings about riding so that way, she keeps the horse and the horse still gets ridden. I've kept quiet about my feelings about the situation as it's not my place to voice my opinions to her as it's her horse, I'm not suer how I'm pushing my feelings onto her by doing this? I'm asking for peoples opinions on here to see how other people feel about the situation - EG: Would they keep the current horse, or sell and get something which cannot be ridden. I think it's trial and error to see how the horse deals with not being ridden but I would put money on it not caring one little bit.

 

[Switchthehorse]

Fundamentally if a horse is well looked after, fed and watered i genuinely think very few would miss being ridden or get bored, it might take a while to get used to their new life but I think we often put human emotions on them.. such as thinking they are 'wasted'. If she loves the horse and knows him inside out then I see no harm in keeping it as a 'pet' but not riding, as long as it is fit, healthy etc.

I had an enforced two years of on and off not riding due to illness (horses) and ended up with two giant pets as I also had a youngster, really enjoyed spending time with both of them and actually not having the pressure to ride.. but after a while i did want to ride again and would have bought another if mine hadnt come good.

Ultimately yes i think its no problem at all, we are all allowed to make our own individual choices and I think you should support your friend in whatever she wants to do

Good Luck!

 

[dollyanna]

In this particular situation (going on what you have said) I would either keep the current horse but find a rider who maybe can't have one of their own but would appreciate and enjoy riding mine, and take pleasure from watching them progress as well as the joy of day-to-day care OR sell current horse on if it is fairly young and I found the right home if I felt that it would be "wasted" (I don't tend to think this myself, but trying to think how I would feel if I did). If I wasn't absolutely sure I would never want to ride again I could then offer a home to a companion from a good rescue, in the knowledge that I am giving a good home to someone who needs it but that if I changed my mind he could go back to the rescue and still be safe and cared for.
I don't agree that horses are wasted - they don't know what they could or couldn't be doing, and as long as you find suitable work for them if they are that type then they are still perfectly happy. I also know that I would be quite happy never riding again - I am not old, I have not lost my confidence, but I have my ponies more because I love having them than to ride or drive them - and there is tons of stuff you can do without ever sitting on their backs to make their lives interesting, challenging and fulfilling. If I was genuinely in this situation then I would just find other fun to do from the ground, not in case I changed my mind about riding, but because my pony is my pony and they won't be sold in their lifetime if I have any choice in the matter whatsoever. But I am aware this isn't the same for many horse people

 

[MerrySherryRider]

I think the woman is very wise. If only more people were honest with themselves and admitted that they really aren't interested in riding but love caring for a horse. While having a good home is a priority, a good working horse can find a new owner who can give it a stimulating and rewarding life, which leaves an opening for a retired horse in need of a well matched home with a non riding owner.

I've had horses that had to be retired through injury and although, I missed riding them, I cared for them and either rode a second horse or rode other peoples. It's not difficult to find horses that need exercising with so many owners who rarely ride.

 

[Mince Pie]

I am currently in this situation, reoccurring back pain means that I've been out the saddle since June. My cob is now living out on grass livery and I pop down as and when I can (yo looks after him). I'm not sure what the future holds but at the moment we're both happy.

 

[mandwhy]

I have been through phases of not riding my horse for long periods because of my nerves, she doesn't care, she's the type of horse that you can just get back on a couple of months later like nothing has happened. She's not expensive to keep and I have a little Welsh who is unridden (although that's just because she is tiny) I like being able to ride when I want to and not feeling pressured to push myself when I don't feel up to it, this is what works for me, although realistically if I had an absolute saint of a horse I would have ridden more through the tough times. I'm confident enough now though and ride at least once a week daylight permitting, sometimes it just takes time. It is over 2 years since I had an accident and broke my arm.

I don't think I'd get rid of my ridden horse in this situation, but I can imagine your friend feels niggling doubts about what she 'should' be doing and whether the horse 'should' be ridden, so a non ridden horse would not come with that pressure.

Honestly there is no reason we should have to ride them, as long as they get turnout and exercise.

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

I agree with what your friend wants to do OP but not the reasoning. The concept of horses being "wasted" because they are capable of doing more than their current owner wants to do, is nonsense.

I wouldn't loan the horse because loans can too easily go wrong. I wouldn't want the hassle of the horse potentially coming home suddenly or the loss of value in the horse if it was treated badly or stolen from me. This horse sounds like it would be worth something. If the lady only wants a retired one to fuss over, why not sell the current one and buy something much cheaper, pocketing the change? It makes good financial sense. Nobody knows if the current horse would take to retirement, people say the horse doesn't care if its not ridden but in fact many do and become difficult to handle or sour in temperament.

You also don't know if the lady has told you everything. Perhaps she would not take pleasure from seeing someone out and about on the horse she struggled to ride and it would instead make her feel a failure. Perhaps if the horse enjoys work she wants it to have a good ridden career and to have that special partnership with someone, she may happily wave it off to a new home knowing she's secured that.

Whatever, she sounds as if she's made her decision and that her plan is a sensible one so I wouldn't be questioning it.

 

[Penny Less]

I have a horse that I don't ride anymore. I have totally lost interest in riding. I am happy to keep her but as she has always had a very active and competitive life and is a horse that is always on her toes I do wonder if I am doing the right thing just keeping her in her paddock. She does have other horses for company.

I think if the lady could loan/share the horse with a riding share it would be the best of both worlds.

 

[LuandLu24]

Of course, i have 1 year old cob who I cant ride (yes i'm going to ride her in the future) but I have horses for the bond. Riding obviously brings you and your horse very close as you put your trust in each other which is why riding is so great. Last year I loaned a 24 year old (to help my friend out) and i rarely rode her, i just loved her company. I believe i could live without riding, but i definitely couldn't live without my horses, my heart would have a piece missing. Some people have rescue horses that they can't ride but still keep them (i'm one of those people). I love the feeling of giving that animal a happy life

 

[fatpiggy]

There is a lady who I have become quite good friends with at the yard who has really lost her love of riding because of having a few quite bad falls and confidence knocks. Whilst she has no real desire to ride anymore, she still really wants to have a horse to look after, take on inhand walks, spoil, pamper and dote on but is not fussed at all about riding it. She is talking about selling her current horse, who is a lovely TB allrounder who I think would be perfect for a teenager wanting to go out and have fun so I don't think she'd have trouble selling it and buying or taking on a horse which either cannot be ridden (Due to past injury or whatever) or is elderly just to love and care for. Lady is a cracking owner, really knowledgeable and caring (Although she works full time, she has a good job and spends a lot of money caring for and pampering her current horse) and the yard has great turnout and facilities, horses come in at night and there are lots of other horses out in the fields too.

Basically, what I'm asking would be if you had lost your interest in riding but still wanted a horse to dote on, would you take on a non ridden companion? I said if this is what she wants, and what she thinks is right then to go for it but to give careful thought about whether she would miss riding or have any desire to go back to it in the future. I suggested loaning her current horse out to a competitive home where it would get more exercise and get something more suitable to rebuild her confidence but she wasn't interested as she seems to feel like her confidence has passed the brink of repair. Advice please and thank you if you got this far!

Many of us have to do this - its called owning a retired horse!

 

[MagicMelon]

Personally I think its a waste of a nice horse if the owner just chooses not to ride it, there's so many broken horses out there that desperately need homes like this. I have 3 veteran field ornaments (all rideable just about but only very lightly), they all had good ridden careers and I only retired them because of their injury. My 4th horse is very much rideable though thankfully. I'd really struggle to have no rideable / competitive ones at all.

I dont think horses care less if they are ridden or not in general (although some do like to be worked IMO) but I just feel there's always homes for ridden horses but not very many for the retired ones.

 

[Kittykins]

I bought a horse a few years back that turned out to be much greener than I expected, and I turned out to be more out of practice than I thought, so we didn't really blend very well. Lovely, genuine horse in the right hands, but needed someone more experienced than me to bring her on and stop her developing bad habits - also, like the lady the OP is talking about, i was starting to lose my confidence.

I loaned her out to a really nice girl who brought her on, taught her to jump properly and now takes her out competing. I've been having lessons to rebuild my confidence and get back into riding properly, so go and have a sit on her every now and then. She's happy because she now enjoys her work, I'm happy because I still get to see her and feed her carrots, and when I am feeling confident I have a little ride too. So it's win-win, really.

[Edited to add] - so in response to the original question, personally i still enjoy riding so I wouldn't want to take on a horse I couldn't ride, but I can see how other people might want to put their horse's happiness first, and how they also might just want something to enjoy being around. Horses are good company as well as riding machines

I guess breeders of small ponies don't get to ride them, but enjoy working with the ponies and seeing others ride them?

 

[L&M]

Yes as have one - he is a cob that I have owned for many years and enjoyed riding, but has had to be retired to the field for medical reasons.

It is frustrating when I remember all the fun we had together, but he seems perfectly happy mooching around the field with his pals and wants for nothing. We still have a daily chat and scratch and is a lovely pet as is so easy and loving.

However I am lucky as have a youngster I am bringing on, so at least have something to occupy me.

In the situation you are describing I think it is entirely the owners choice - if the horse appears unhappy or bored then maybe she should reconsider, but as others have said, horses adapt. There is nothing wrong in enjoying caring for a horse but not riding it, especially if you have a bond with it. Also in the future she may change her mind, so still owns a rideable horse if she so wishes to get back into it.

 

[happyclappy]

Easily. Horse ownership is not just about riding

 

[JJS]

I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't miss riding, but I'm certain that I could go without. When my Thoroughbred broke her leg in the field in May, I knew it was bad, so I prayed over and over whilst we waited for the vet that he'd tell me that even though she was no longer rideable, I wouldn't have to lose her. I would have loved her irrespective of whether I spent the next ten years without riding. Sadly, that wasn't to be, and she had to be put down in the field. If the vet had told me she would heal but I'd never be able to get on her again, I would have cried with happiness.

Your friend's situation is obviously very different, because the issue is her rather than her horse. However, provided they're happy together, why distress the mare by moving her somewhere else? In her shoes I would keep her and love her, and simply appreciate the things we could do together, rather than the things I couldn't do for her. If it really bothered me that she wasn't being ridden, I'd probably advertise for a sharer.

 

[el_Snowflakes]

Yes, if for any reason my horse could no longer be ridden she would be kept as a big pet however what I could not deal with is is choosing not to ride due to fear (in your friends case)

That would stress me hugely as the thought of being forced to miss out on opportunities & experiences due to fear would just drive me insane! However this is a personal thing & I'm not one to be be beaten by fear. How other choose to live/make choices is entirely up to them

 

[Montyforever]

I was determined for years that i didn't want to ride, started again recently and loving it! I have a non rideable horse as i just wanted to do walks inhand/showing and she will be with me for the rest of her days and a ridden horse of my own will just have to wait unfortunately!

Nothing wrong with not wanting to ride, but selling a horse that is perfectly capable seems a bit odd and would be a shame if a couple of years down the line she regrets her decision and wants to ride again. There's always the opportunity to get sharers to ride the horse etc

 

[Fox5]

I would love to own but do not necessarily want to ride one everyday as I have lost my confidence. Happy to hack out with riding school and have lessons but the thought of buying my own to ride everyday makes me feel sick. I love horses (I actually cried when I finally got to go to Olympia!) but not necessarily riding any more. Sadly I feel that I have left it too late in my life to be a horse owner which is heartbreaking. Cant believe I am filling up just writing this, I guess its time to realise that my childhood dream of owning my own is never going to come true I have decided to help at the local RDA to get my horsey fix in between lessons and hacks. If you are fortunate to own a horse cherish every minute x

 

[FlyingCircus]

I'd keep my current one if he couldn't be ridden, but I wouldn't actively buy one with the intention of not riding it.

Would the lady be happy to be an owner? So watch someone else compete/train with her horse and she provides care and cuddles?

 

[Mongoose11]

Due to several different issues (all
mine) I have probably ridden my horse 15 times in the last two years. In this time I have seen her almost every day, cared for her, watched her compete, bathed her and loved her. I was cantering around on her in April and yelling from the top of my lungs how much I loved her but if I never rode her again, I wouldn't care.

So, I am one such owner. I keep her because I adore her.

 

[Mince Pie]

Zombie thread!

 

[Mongoose11]

Zombie thread!

Jeez! So it is 😂

 

[Mince Pie]

Jeez! So it is ��

Only noticed because I couldn't remember what I'd posted so went to look and saw it was about the lad I sold last year!