crazy, shocking and hilarious horsey stories pls

Queenbee

Queenbee

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Heeelp!

I am about to turn into a great big lump of boredness! I need happy, funny and mad tales to entertain me!!

Please post your most crazy, shocking and hilarious horsey stories here :)
 
Humm ok then you asked for it, here's a shocker

A few years ago, i was out riding with a friend along the river mersey, a man, who was clearly and drugs, he asked us how fast the current was going, and if it was safe to jump in, we told him it wasn't a good idea, and procceded to ride. Then we heard a splash, he had jumped in!!
The current quickly carried him over to the other side and he tried desperately to climb out, but the sides were too high. We watched to see if he could get out, but he keeped going under, the fourth time he went under, he didn't come back up, so we rang for help straight away, and tried to get him out, but it was far to risky. After some confusion as to where we were, the police, fire and an ambulence crew had arrived, the man had been under for 5 mins, instead of getting the man out straight away, as i expected, they stood around and "assesed" the situation, as we were the only witnesses, we had to stay and take a statement. We were there for 3 HOURS untill they eventually took the man out of the water, my friend asked why they didn't pull him out straight away, and they said it was too risky and after 10 mins without oxygen the brain suffers irriplaceable damage, so they didn't see the need to get him out ASAP.
I was horrifide, i was 15 at the time and thought the rescuse services helped as soon as possible, and not stand around and let a poor man die. He might have suffered damage, but at least he would have been alive.
 
I learnt to ride and kept my first pony at a very strict RS/ livery yard. One icy winters day a new working pupil left a fully clipped horse unrugged in his stable while she went to smoke a ciggy. When the scary chief instructor found out she made the girl strip down to her underwear and stand on the yard for 15 mins while she got a verbal dressing down as well as a practical one ;)
 
Steorra said:
I learnt to ride and kept my first pony at a very strict RS/ livery yard. One icy winters day a new working pupil left a fully clipped horse unrugged in his stable while she went to smoke a ciggy. When the scary chief instructor found out she made the girl strip down to her underwear and stand on the yard for 15 mins while she got a verbal dressing down as well as a practical one ;)
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PMSL thats brill:D:D there needs to be more instructors like that.
I bet she learned her lesson.
 
tink and lily its very common for that its like with the london bombings offduty nurses nd doctors went in before the services called as they needed to "acess" it was safe first, and it happened in the midlands when 2 people drowned in a pond after a dog went in on ice and a 3rd person went in the other was still alive but the rescuers wouldnt rescue the one who had been in for longer and the 3rd person just had to walk back out. RIDICULOUS!!!
 
There was a story a few weeks ago, of an elderly man who was choking to death, and the paramedic did not help untill police had arrived either because he was being "threatning" or someone else was.
Can't remember if he made it.
 
In was out hacking near Arlington Reservoir with my friend when a half naked bloke wearing nothing but tiny tight shorts came running past us flat out, his legs doing that funny thing when you are running too fast down hill. There were some sheep in the field next to the path with some electric wire separating them and he jumped it then fell over in the mud! We couldn't stop laughing it was so funny. He jumped up and ran off just as fast.
It was in the middle of nowhere and we had no idea where he came from or why he was running that fast, would love to find out though!
 
Wasn't very funny at the time but this is what happened to me and Merlin last winter during all that snow!

I keep my horses (my horse, my daughter's horse and my friend's two horses) at home. I mucked out the boxes and turned them all out. All very happy as grass was at last appearing through the snow but very very cold day. Everything still frozen. Went in the house with the intention of going off to the the supermarket. Car keys in my hand. Heard my dog barking furiously outside, called her whereupon she carried on barking at me. Thought I had better check outside and saw that the other three horses were looking rather agitated by the swimming pool. Wondering how on earth they got out and how they had got into the fenced bit by the pool. Ran outside and then saw my horse, Merlin in the deep end with just his head poking through a gap in the pool cover, shaking uncontrollably surrounded by mini-icebergs. You can imagine the unbelievable panic I went through. The cover that he had gone through you are supposed be able to drive a car on but obviously doesn't withstand a rather overweight cob and he must have split it with his shoes. Didn't know what to do first. Got the other horses back in the field while dialling 999 for the fire brigade. Rushed back to Merlin who has neighing at me frantically and obviously struggling. Tried to pull the cover to see if I could tear it but it wasn't budging. Rushed back into the house got a sharp knife, got in the pool and where it had already been torn managed to cut the cover right up until the steps at the shallow end. Give Merlin an almighty tug on this forelock he swam and then walked up
the steps and galloped across the garden. Caught him, towelled him down, covered him in rugs, called the vet who pronounced him relatively unscathed but not suprsingly a little cold. Fire brigade turned up ten minutes later and were quite impressed by my rescue! The funny thing was I was in such a panic at the time I didn't even feel cold. Called my husband when it was all over and promptly fainted!
 
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Seahorse said:
In was out hacking near Arlington Reservoir with my friend when a half naked bloke wearing nothing but tiny tight shorts came running past us flat out, his legs doing that funny thing when you are running too fast down hill. There were some sheep in the field next to the path with some electric wire separating them and he jumped it then fell over in the mud! We couldn't stop laughing it was so funny. He jumped up and ran off just as fast.
It was in the middle of nowhere and we had no idea where he came from or why he was running that fast, would love to find out though!
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Hahaha thats funny, does make you wander what people do with their spare time.
Mabe he got caught doing the deed with someones wife, then ran for his life:D
 
NWalker - that must have been so scary! A similar thing happened to some friends of mine. They had an NF colt who was a proper little escape artist. He escaped one day and went racing round their garden, ending up in the pond in his turnout rug, which soaked up the water and became incredibly heavy! Luckily it wasn't too deep so he didn't drown or anything, but they still had to get the Fire Brigade to get him out because the sides were too steep for him to climb. Silly boy - he didn't do it again!
 
Ok, thanks for that tinkandlilly interesting but not the kind of 'shocking' I was looking for. Am looking for entertaining shocking 'horsey' annecdotes, not people dying ;)

LauraWheeler: what a fabulous story, and a fabulous pony, you sound like you had the most wonderful bond with her and are just the kind of horse woman I like (I'll bet you used Parelli ;) )

Steorra: I absolutley love that, I know a lad who used to kick people at our primary school, our teacher took his shoes off him and made him sit in a big old style pram for an hour because 'babies kicked!' to make it worse for the poor chap it was winter and his mum had made him wear tights, as his trousers rode up while he was in the pram everyone noticed and the boys took the mickey out of him for wearing girls clothes (proper humiliation - can't beat it)
 
queenbee said:
LauraWheeler: what a fabulous story, and a fabulous pony, you sound like you had the most wonderful bond with her and are just the kind of horse woman I like (I'll bet you used Parelli ;) )
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Thankyou :o . She was one special pony and I was so lucky to have her and ofcourse I used Parelli thats the only way to tame a wild pony and create a bond with your horse. Isn't it? ;) :p :D :D
 
Those of you slagging off the services that have to assess, when its your family member that gets killed because they plough into a situation and end up dead, you'll all be moaning that there should be more health and safety and you'd sue. Get a grip.

Can't think of any stories at the moment but will go away and think! xxx
 
Too true :) No really, I thoroughly enjoyed reading yours and Lucy's story, however I almost blubbed over my desk... lots of times

Your sleeping with Lucy in the stable when she was poorly reminded me of my first pony Pickles. He hated the trailer, we spent hours of him pratting around until we got him in (he was fine with lorries) I was so worried about his little soul that I travelled with him in the trailer all the way from torquay to seaton, suffice it to say he was absolutely fine all the way and stood there munching on hay. Very dangerous and not the done thing but an experience that I will never forget ;) I also used to sit right under him :eek: to groom him, or lie on his back with my arms wrapped round him, my feet on his bum and the rug over the 2 of us. He also had a thing for ham sandwiches and used to swipe them out of my hand and chomp on them (no I never gave them to him voluntarily!!)
 
Becca-84 said:
NWalker - that must have been so scary! A similar thing happened to some friends of mine. They had an NF colt who was a proper little escape artist. He escaped one day and went racing round their garden, ending up in the pond in his turnout rug, which soaked up the water and became incredibly heavy! Luckily it wasn't too deep so he didn't drown or anything, but they still had to get the Fire Brigade to get him out because the sides were too steep for him to climb. Silly boy - he didn't do it again!
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Very scary. When I saw his great big head sticking out of the cover surrounded by ice and snow I just thought he's going to die! The relief in getting him out was enormous!
 
flamehead said:
Those of you slagging off the services that have to assess, when its your family member that gets killed because they plough into a situation and end up dead, you'll all be moaning that there should be more health and safety and you'd sue. Get a grip.

Can't think of any stories at the moment but will go away and think! xxx
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Who's slagging them off? i,m certainly not, i just thought they could have done more to save the guy, it was to risky for me and friend, but they are trained for that and they didn't even try, they were stood around talking, he wasn't to far out of reach and when they did eventually get to him it took them 2 mins, i thought they were there to protect people:confused::confused:

Obviously most are very good at what they do, but these people IMO were useless.
 
tinkandlily said:
Who's slagging them off? i,m certainly not, i just thought they could have done more to save the guy, it was to risky for me and friend, but they are trained for that and they didn't even try, they were stood around talking, he wasn't to far out of reach and when they did eventually get to him it took them 2 mins, i thought they were there to protect people:confused::confused:

Obviously most are very good at what they do, but these people IMO were useless.
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Police officers aren't trained to swim. If none of them were strong swimmers why on earth would they jump in a fast flowing river and attempt a difficult rescue of a full grown man?
 
Mine is short and sweet -
Friend bring her shettie in one day and he has a very swollen sheath. Couple of other friends go over to have a look and see if the vet should be called. Yard know-it-all then goes over and says -
"It's his testicles. Geldings always have problems with their testicles."

Everyone else stunned in to silence. I stand there thinking "problems locating them perhaps?"
 
Not that funny in the telling but it was very funny at the time.... The chestnut in my siggy had a huge sense of humour (which is an undesirable trait in a horse I think).

I remember taking her to quite a big show and we were in the Show Hack class, where they have to be immaculately well behaved, do canter serpentine's and all that. There was show jumping going on in the next ring. Literally everytime a horse jumped a jump she did these ludicrous huge leaps in the air like Bambi copying them. People by the ringside were pointing and howling with laughter and the judge was desperately trying to keep a straight face (and failing). By this time I was laughing so much I was crying and really couldnt see a darned thing. I've never been so glad to pull up (we didnt get placed :D but it was a show I will always remember!)
 
Dobby said:
Police officers aren't trained to swim. If none of them were strong swimmers why on earth would they jump in a fast flowing river and attempt a difficult rescue of a full grown man?
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I don't belive i mentioned police officers in general, but the fire fighters are trained to rescue people in situations like that, and my point is, that it took them 2 mins to get him out, so why couldn't they do that straight away? the river didn't change speed or anything, so why were standing around?
 
Only silly but made me laugh yesterday - horse with warped sense of humour. I was picking his feet out and I was unaware he had got the toggle of my fleece in his mouth. He must have stretched it as far back as possible (on elastic) - and let go. I think the squeal I let out surprised even him! I did see the funny side and got the giggles, but it hurt!
 
Same as wilde2, I was picking out my geldings feet, my OH asked if he was nipping me, I said no just twanging me, the elastic had stretched by an inch.
Our mare was a nightmare this easter, in season and full of spring grass, so we longreined her, she ended up spinning in brambles and totally tying her legs up, then she turned and looked at my OH as much to say, what do I do now dad, I really wish I had a camera
 
0ldmare said:
Literally everytime a horse jumped a jump she did these ludicrous huge leaps in the air like Bambi copying them. People by the ringside were pointing and howling with laughter and the judge was desperately trying to keep a straight face (and failing). By this time I was laughing so much I was crying and really couldnt see a darned thing. I've never been so glad to pull up (we didnt get placed :D but it was a show I will always remember!)
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Brilliant :D sounds like great fun :p
 
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