Critique my presentation take 2!

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B_2_B

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Thanks for all the suggestions. I fiddled about a lot and came up with this

http://www.livevideo.com/video/F915D4011F9F4F79A9E24E2EE3322130/mossburn-presentation-2-.aspx

What do you think? Is it better?
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Much much better. The first section keeps my attention now and I can read the words easily on both sections. Good luck with the presentation.
 
If i was to change something the sentences about what you learn, where you just have 'learn how to keep the animals clean and happy' Id say ' WE learn...' as they arnt complete sentences and as you arnt talking over the presentation id have complete sentences, it makes it flow more nicely. The other sentences seem to work as bullet point type things but all the ones starting in learn, id put 'we' learn.

The 1st section is better than it was but the words are a bit random- i dont really get it, what are they describing...? Maybe you should put a sentence before that section like you have the 'what do we get from mossburn?'.

Its fab though, such lovely photos and looks like you have lots of fun!
 
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