Crying from frustration

[charlottemary]

Today I was riding my new horse, I am riding her 3 days a week for someone to get her fit and as she is only 5 give her some more experience. I haven't ridden properly in about 2 years as my veteran tb is forever Ill in some way. I was riding moose today and her new favourite game is I'm not moving and what are you going to do about it. As I'm new to moose I had no idea how to handle the situation and to make it worse another girl who rides her was there watching. As I was asking her to walk forward she was Bucking all over the place and really giving me quite the scare! I was So frustrated and a little bit worried I was going to break a bone I burst out crying! In the middle of the school with everyone watching me. Shona ( the girl who also rides her) came over and asked me what was wrong. I replied while crying that I couldn't get her to walk and she kept bucking. I feel like such an idiot now because I was crying about it and Shona just said 'well we told you that she was a stubborn baby and you need to be Firm with her'. I know this obviously but today really just got to me. We worked her afterword until she was really listening and responding and then i finished. Has anyone else ever burst out crying on a horse? I felt like suck a plonker

 

[Leo Walker]

I'm no help right now as I'm on my way to bed, but my little cob who I have owned for a 2yr old had exactly the same effect on me tonight and its awful!

 

[Enfys]

Oh yes.
Been there, done that.
It happens, don't worry, you are not alone.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Yes...very recently with my own new horse. All I can say is take a few deep breaths...it gets easier/better x

 

[little_critter]

Just remember that no matter how frustrating she is, you need to stay calm and persistent. Don't make it personal. And be sure to give lots of praise the moment she moves forward.
Keep it clear and positive: stopping = bad (but not aggressive), forward = good.
My much older mare plants and I really know how you feel, especially with mares you can't just escalate the pressure, you need to find a little 'in' and use your powers of persuasion to let her think moving was her idea.
My instructor told me to be very 'Mary Poppins', as in growling and hissing just got her back up. I had to be chirpy and assertive in a 'come along children' sort of way.

 

[Abby-Lou]

A riding instructor once pushed me to cry, I no longer have that instructor ! its supposed to be fun you don't some one shouting at you when you really don't understand what you are doing wrong. New instructor fond for this weekend so hopefully this will be a better partnership. Its quite normal to get frustrated and its like a pressure cooker going off ! quite normal don't worry X

 

[jackbox]

You are not alone, I've been there and so have many others, are sport is an emotional one as well as a physical one and sometimes it can get the better of us.
Don't beat yourself up, brush it of and try to look back at what you did and how to do it differently to get the results you want.
Also good advice to me was "slow down"
There's not a race or time frame to get the end results you want, if you rush things it will go wrong, if you pace yourself, slow it down your see the improvements,
Good luck and I hope today's a better day for you.

 

[LHIS]

You're definitely not the only one. I have little unexpected crying moments, most recently on Monday evening. My pony had been an absolute pig on Sunday and really scared me, I knew I needed help so my instructor helped me, I was so nervous (riding in the outdoor school in the dark, with lights on, scares me) and pony could sense it. I was so wound up because I desperately want to be better, but my nerves get the better of me. I even asked my instructor to put me on a long line (like a child - I felt very stupid but I needed that link to her to feel reassured).
Anyway, I digress, it's normal I think, you love riding and love your horse, so it's going to be emotional as you have invested so much in this. Get some help with your horse and keep positive people around you.

 

[EQUIDAE]

What does the owner say? It sounds like they are using you and the other girl to school their horse rather than paying someone to do it properly. There's plenty of good loans out there - don't let this one dent your confidence x

 

[Pinkvboots]

Yes cried loads of times even in the ring try not to worry about your not the first and won't be the last, I kind of agree with the equidae in that you should not be responsible for sorting out someone else's problem horse, I would find something that has done a bit more and is going to be fun for you its bad enough crying because your own horse won't do what you want why cry over someone else's.

 

[charlottemary]

Thank you for all the lovely comments �� The owner can't ride her because she has problems with her back and legs so her son was riding her until he lost all his confidence on another horse and won't get back on anything again. Moose is normally very safe, she just has her off days and it really got to me- probably because everyone was watching! I'm riding her again on Friday and now I know what to do to get her going hopefully. I also have a Lesson in Tuesday which should be very helpful

 

[Cortez]

If the horse's behaviour is reducing you to tears, perhaps it should be the responsibility of someone with more experience to school the horse?

 

[Embo]

Yep. I've burst out crying three times so far this year. Once was early in the spring when B was being an absolute turd. Ticking time bomb and had an explosion because instructor moved a pole (!!). How I didn't fall off I don't know, instructor had to get on and work him HARD for 20 mins before I got back on.

Other two times were XC schooling, had a 'breakdown' both times as I was terrified and felt I couldn't jump a certain jump. Had my moment, 10 mins later was jumping the jumps.

My poor instructor having to put up with me lol.

We all have our moments of frustration and fear, some of us cry, some don't. You're certainly not alone!

 

[Birker2020]

Has anyone else ever burst out crying on a horse? I felt like suck a plonker

Quite frequently at one time, when I was suffering from a severe lack of confidence. Last time I did this was about three weeks ago when I hired the riding clubs arena out for jumping course hire, I couldn't get a correct stride no matter how I tried, I was firing the horse at the fence one minute and he was leaping it from about five foot away, the next minute holding him back so much that he was practically having to lift off like a helipcopter in order to clear it.

After I cried (self pity cry to do with being frustrated at myself) my partner calmed me down and told me to stop being stupid and do it again. We were fine then!

When you lose your confidence after a bad fall or feel like you are riding cr*p its hard to pick yourself up. But you just have to get on with it and give yourself a shake and say 'stop being so pathetic'. I really believe that riding is 90% mind and 10% skill.

 

[bluedanube]

I really believe that riding is 90% mind and 10% skill.

This is sooo true. Crying is just a good way to realise stress and yes I've had many 'moments' including crying when horse does something really well!!!

Better to cry when frustrated than get angry and beat the **** out of your horse as some less disciplined riders do...

 

[Birker2020]

. Crying is just a good way to realise stress and yes I've had many 'moments' including crying when horse does something really well!!!

QUOTE]

Yes, I have cried too when my boy has gone through the finish at a 3DE that I worked really hard towards, or when he did his first competition after recovering from a nasty injury when he nearly broke his leg after being stuck in a wheelbarrow and the £5K that I'd spent on getting him right after his initial injury would have been better used as toilet paper!

Crying is a release of anxiety, tension, relief, and happiness. Its good to cry

And I always have to shed at least a trickle of a tear if I fall off in self pity or I don't feel its worth the pain on landing!

 

[milliepops]

I really believe that riding is 90% mind and 10% skill.

I don't know about the ratio but I do agree in principle... BUT I do think that learning how to control your emotions is part of the mind element of this. You will read your horse better and react better if you can learn not to become upset by it.

I'm not saying we don't all have those desperate moments, but learning self control is vitally important if you want to overcome them.

(Last time I cried over a horse was when Millie injured herself again and I thought I'd have to retire her. Proper, huge, ugly snot filled sobs. But not in ridden work, other than leaky eyes with happiness ).

 

[Annagain]

I went to a riding lesson with a new instructor on my gem of a horse. I wasn't nervous or worried or frightened or anything, in fact I'd heard such good things about her I was looking forward to it. She said hello to me and asked me to tell her about me and my horse and I burst into tears. To this day I don't know why. What an introduction! We went on to have a fab lesson and two years on I have regular lessons with her so luckily I didn't put her off! Sometimes it's just a really good release of tension even if you're not aware of being tense!

It sounds like you got through it and got some good work out of her in the end so well done!

 

[Elbie]

I have! We had a horse on loan briefly who we discovered (the hard way) really didn't like cows. This was a major problem as the bridleway (and only access to network without having to do loads of roadwork on busy roads) bordered a field full of cows. The bridleway was fenced off I must add, we weren't actually IN with the cows.

So my lovely friend took me out with he super brave cob and her husband (to lead if needed) to try and get the horse used to the cows. We walked him up and down the fence line to show him it's ok, taking the gently gently approach (the tough love approach REALLY didn't work!). His game would be to plant or spin round so we were playing the game back of "you can stand still or walk straight - those are the 2 options".

When I tried to get him to walk past the cows without a lead he planted then tried to turn to home, so I was turning him back. So we basically piroutted our way back up the bridlepath. I think we travelled about 50m before I burst in to tears through frustration!