Cute things non-horsey people say....

From the mouth of a friend many years ago upon hearing that a horse had got loose in the local parkland and not been caught overnight “but won’t it be hungry, what will it eat?”
 
Hacking my 14.2 Irish draught x cob who has great big feathery feet along the road when this lovely man asked if was a racehorse. It was a lovely thought but even I wouldn't put £1 each way on the little beast :)
 
mule said:
Some horses make a mockery of being vegetarians. I knew a mare who would eat absolutely everything. She would sniff out food in a wrapper and in your pocket. She stole a corned beef sandwich once. Didn't seem to do her any harm either!
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I had a pony once that if he was loose mooching round the farmyard, which had sheepdogs chained to kennels around the place, would intimidate the dogs and steal their food given chance.
 
When we used to ride out with a Fell Pony and a Shetland with a child on lead rein by the side, both black geldings, we were often asked, "Is the little one the big one's baby?"
 
Celtic Fringe said:
Hacking my 14.2 Irish draught x cob who has great big feathery feet along the road when this lovely man asked if was a racehorse. It was a lovely thought but even I wouldn't put £1 each way on the little beast :)
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I live down the road from Newmarket and when at the races with non-horsey people have often been asked if I’ve ever raced my horse there... He’s a Heinz 57, arthritic, 20 year old, not sure we’d be in with much chance!

I also get asked at least once a year if I‘m competing at Burghley when talking about going. But at least people generally don’t know what Burghley is.
 
When out hacking my approx 16.3 mare, who was only 4yr old mare, past a local hostel (single lane road) with loads of people just arriving, and had asked a mother and child with various bags/pillows etc to stay still while I took her past as she was just a "baby". Child pipes up - wow - how big was the mother - just had to giggle to myself!!
 
My mother used to say with a withering look "if only you were so fussy about your house as you are about your stables and field", had to laugh as she was absolutely right.
 
My partner has learned a load of horsey terminology with me as english is not his first language, he still says "are you going to muck about?" 😂
Muck out and muck about with horses same thing really!
 
alainax said:
My mum asking why my instructor shouts random limbs at me.

“Outside Hand!! More leg!!!”

:P
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That made me LOL! "Change the rein" is another lesson phrase which confuses the non-horsey.

Non-horsey person asking about height & trying to sound knowledgeable ... "How many hands does it have?" then proceeding to look very confused & disbelieving when i tell him none!
 
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Someone asked me thus summer if my horses feet burn on tarmac like a dogs paws would! A horsey person asked me the same question but was more specific and asked if the frogs would burn. I've also had a horsey person ask if their horse would get 'like a carpet burn but from tarmac on her frog's' once the shoes came off - I responded with 'how fast do you expect to be going?!!!'
 
Janah said:
My mother used to say with a withering look "if only you were so fussy about your house as you are about your stables and field", had to laugh as she was absolutely right.
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My mum also said this to me a lot...trouble is, she is probably more stable proud than I am having been trained by an old school MFH, and she was and remains absolutely correct about the state of my house. If only my clothes were sorted like my tack!
 
mule said:
Non horsey people suggesting you go to the doctor/ get x-rays for minor injuries.
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Ha ha ha! Very pertinent, this one. I waited 3 weeks to go for an x-ray recently, as I suspected stress factures from off road running. People were flabbergasted that I was in work and hadn't yet gone for x-ray. Anyhoo, x-ray showed nothing, so waited for referral. At referral, consultant couldn't find original x-ray, so sent me for another, which showed massive stress fracture right through fibula. Boss now thinks I'm some sort of superhuman. I was told to go for x-ray with my arm earlier this year as it took ages to get better. My argument was that everything worked, it was just sore, so no point - I just took care of it. No wonder doctors hate us...
 
Mad_Cow347 said:
I also get asked at least once a year if I‘m competing at Burghley when talking about going. But at least people generally don’t know what Burghley is.
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I used to get asked by colleagues if I was competing at Badminton, Burghley etc if I said I was going. When I explain no as that's a ridiculously high level compared to what I ride at they can't get their heads around it, as surely the height of a jump is indifferent. They are very much of the opinion the horse does everything so surely I just have to stay on!
 
I've mentioned this before but it's a good one. One of the other liveries had a friend visit with her little boy. Archie was on the yard and we were all having a bit of a chat when A decided to have a wee (he's not proud and will go anywhere). The little boy was completely transfixed by it. When A had finished and put everything away, the little boy squealed with delight and said, "Mummy that horse has got a fold away willy, can I have one?"
 
While browsing a trucking forum for a fix for my wagon I cam across a post from a guy who was transporting horses for the first time and asked for advice. Shrink wrapping the animal and magnetising the floor so the shoes stuck were both suggested.

PS Mine has been known to sit down on his bottom if he doesn't like the look of a fence....
 
Once out hacking, a big galaxy car overtook me and then came to a stop in front of me. I started to ride around the car and saw about 4 kids waving at me, when going past the front of the car the driver wound down her window so I stopped and she asked if she were to park up further down the road where there is a bit of green, could her kids take turns riding my Horse. I politely said she wasn't suitable for children and gave her the name of a nearby riding school and carried on my way.
 
annagain said:
I've mentioned this before but it's a good one. One of the other liveries had a friend visit with her little boy. Archie was on the yard and we were all having a bit of a chat when A decided to have a wee (he's not proud and will go anywhere). The little boy was completely transfixed by it. When A had finished and put everything away, the little boy squealed with delight and said, "Mummy that horse has got a fold away willy, can I have one?"
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That's just made me spit coffee all over my keyboard!! Militaire is well endowed in that area and was once tied up on the yard for nose strokes from 30 odd primary school kids when he decided to have a wee. Apparently it went on for ages accompanied by some very impressive farts. Back to school & asked what the highlight of their trip was? The big fluffy horse and his willy 😂😂 Well it was supposed to be an educational trip!
 
"Do you take her for a walk every day?" My response..."she's not a dog, Vijay"
"She must cost you a fortune in milk. Horses drink milk, don't they?"
"What do you do when it rains? Horses can't go outside in the rain"
"You camped in your trailer? With your horse?"
"Why have you dyed her hair" (she was wearing ears!)
 
LaurenBay said:
Once out hacking, a big galaxy car overtook me and then came to a stop in front of me. I started to ride around the car and saw about 4 kids waving at me, when going past the front of the car the driver wound down her window so I stopped and she asked if she were to park up further down the road where there is a bit of green, could her kids take turns riding my Horse. I politely said she wasn't suitable for children and gave her the name of a nearby riding school and carried on my way.
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They're not right in the head.
 
Our yard owner breeds Labradors so occasionally have people on the yard wanting to see mum or dad. Today just as I was finishing lunging Dolly prospective puppy buyers appeared with 3 children in tow.
They were good kids, asking if they could stroke the horses & asking questions such as their names & ages. Dolly is the only girl of the yard, and one of the boys asked "how do you tell?" I just explained that it's by the bits you can see and can't, he then ducked down to have a look!
 
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