Daft things people do to horses in films that don't happen in RL...

When someone jumps off a horse and it stands stock still (whereas we all know really they make a break for the lush grass 10 feet away!)
 
Getting off the horse without tying it up and walking away from it - miraculous the horse doesnt ever move! Still there stood still when they return!
 
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Vaulting on. Impossible, as far as I'm concerned!

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Oh, well, our grooms can do this. Effortlessly. Just swing a leg up and suddenly there they are; up on the horse... I have NO idea how they do it. Perhaps an optical illusion or trick with smoke and mirrors!!
 
Oh, and have you noticed that horses in films never get a good, vigorous grooming... they're only veeeeeery gently stroked with a brush... Must take them AGES to get ready for a hack
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When they get on (usually to make a swift exit to escape baddies/save damsel) give a massive pony club kick, flap with the arms/legs/face and yell... Any horse I know would
a) stand stock still then eventually amble off at a slow walk
b) Freak, buck, then piss off

Rather than going swiftly into that perfect, ground covering gallop.
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Also, in that Rough Diamond programme, the random neighs and the massive pyramid of food/hay/carrots in the middle of the yard. What was that about??!
 
Flapping the reins to make the horse go.
Have seen so many noobs doing this at trekking and trail riding places it is unreal.

Having said that I will use the loop of the reins over the neck or the withers if I have dropped or lost a stick, but throwing them at the head and flapping them wildly, no.....
 
Running up behind their horses and leapfrogging over their rumps into the saddle.

Any real horse would double-barrel them into the middle of next week!
 
The horses and ponies I worked with all knew what whoooooa meant! They were taught it on the lunge, and came in very handy when beginners were on them!
 
Oh, and dropping from heights and landing perfectly astride the horse. Ouch, poor backs!

Although I do laugh at the films where the horses move out of the way and they land on the floor - sad, I know....
 
All of the above.....but what tends to happen in films ...if theres horses in it eg cowboys or a warscene etc ....I find myself not really watching the film but just looking at the horses....then when I lean over to OH and say...thats a nice dun/roan/palomino/grey etc etc...he's like WFT! Watch the goddam film!!

And if theres a grey/white the kids and OH wait for me to say...without fail, I am so predictable I just can't help myself....'Oh look...there's Desi when he was famous, before I got him......''
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Hah, Is my word for getting canter on the lunge
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hanandhen - my friends daughter regularly leap frogs onto her horse over its rump - she leads hacks out and leads her horse out the gate, waits for the other horses to pass through, her horse then walks off behind them, she closes the gate, runs after the horse and leaps on - oh to be young and foolish (and springy) again!

There was a Russian ex-vaulting competitor who turned up on our yard for a bit - she was scary!! Vaulted on and off horses in the round pen, stood on their backs
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These were just riding school horses - not vaulting trained at all. Madness!
 
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hanandhen - my friends daughter regularly leap frogs onto her horse over its rump - she leads hacks out and leads her horse out the gate, waits for the other horses to pass through, her horse then walks off behind them, she closes the gate, runs after the horse and leaps on - oh to be young and foolish (and springy) again!



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I am impressed!
 
the horses i exercise are all taught to stand still unless asked otherewise & will not wander off if left unattended (unless world war 3 kicks off) they are driven by a disabled driver & must so this for saftey reasons.
also several of the horses i have ridden over the last few years will just let you vault on from behind (not that i have done it, not with my dodgy hips)
 
Oh yes, the random neighing! Drives me crazy! Also the way they leap on the horses and head off out of the castle (or fort, or whatever) at a fast canter when they've got a long journey ahead of them.

In The Two Towers, I was really annoyed at the cavalry charge towards entrenched pikes---sure, there have been battles lost due to such stupidity, but Faramir is supposed to be a competent general!
 
Setting off at a mad gallop over rocky ground and arriving days later at a mad gallop over rocky ground after a 1000 mile gallop with horse still with all 4 legs, not lame and not even sweaty. Magic ponies.
 
What really gets me is the incessant ruddy neighing in yards, or even when the horse is galloping?wtf? If our horses neighed that much I'd sell them!lol Oh, and the fact that the horse is always a "champion", never just alright lol.
 
The one that stick in my mind is watching Julius Caesar getting on his horse and using a topless man on all fours as a mounting block. That never happens to me...
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That said, my 65 year old father can vault onto his horse, lit fag intact - a little trick he learned in Argentina...
 
The neighing is a pain, always seems to happen when a horse/new horse comes into shot, it's almost saying 'I'm a horse, I'm a horse' as if people didn't know/hadn't noticed!
 
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