Daftest comment on your dessage score sheet?!

I was sent in to do dressage in an indoor school with a 17.2 heffalump with both a school phobia and separation anxiety.
The judge was sitting at a table at the door end...and the doors had been left a foot or two ajar as it was a bit stuffy.

After a lot of snorting, eye rolling, , the horse b*ggered off with me in the first canter transition, flew flat out broncing down the school, swerved left narrowly missing judge and table, and squeezed his way out the doors, bruising both my knees en route.
I managed to regain control, took him back in, and tried to complete....where he behaved like an equine psychopath.
I finished and left....when I collected my test the judge had written;
'Against the hand' at the point where horse first ran for it.
And 'I gave up judging before you gave up, dear' at the end
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S
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[ QUOTE ]

'Against the hand' at the point where horse first ran for it.
And 'I gave up judging before you gave up, dear' at the end
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[/ QUOTE ]

PMSL - particularly love that one!
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Me and spooks did a walk & trot test as part of a mini ODE. Please bear in mind that we do endurance, not any of this stuff as most of it terrifies me!!

I was roped into entering at the last minute so had a week to brush up on jumping and dresage skills (pretty much all non existant!!) Not helped by the fact that Spooks hates any form of schooling wont relax of give an inch and isn't adverse to planting himself on the spot and refusing to budge no matter what you do (many people have tried, trust me!!)

So you can imagine my dread as I approached the dressage - as I walked in my mind went totally blank, and i started talking myself through the test out loud. About half way through, all was going well and I realised that I hadn't actually given spooks a command other then muttering to myself, yet every transition was pretty much perfect and bang on the markers. Our final manouvure was to trot down the centre line and halt and I think that was one of the only times spooks has ever halted squarely. The whole test done all relaxed and soft inthe mouth.

We came out of there in 3rd place with a score of 33% - not gonna be competing at the olympic of anything, but the judge commented that it was a great test and a fantastic little horse - if only she had seen him 2 days earlier!

It just goes to show that spooks is smarter then he looks - he pulls it out of the bag when needed, but refuses to waste his time faffing amout at home!!
 
'clearly not easy to ride' - i tried the smiling but I think judge could tell I was having a bad day there must have been steam coming out of my ears and a bicep about to tear!

'Horse looks stiff in leg' - which one????

'Rider sitting left in halt, good position' - I'm guessing I moved or the judge had the memory of a goldfish!

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I had 'a shame your horse doesnt like this end of the arena' after my horse decided the Judges hut was actually an slaughterhouse in disguise. She backed off my leg going down the centre line, stopped and spun, legging it for all she was worth towards the exit. Everytime we had to go down that end I was booting like a pony clubber and with her head fixed in a vice
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. Whenever we turned away from the judge her tail tucked down and we scuttled away at speed. Not our finest hour
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when I took my horse to her first dressage on grass she was completely hyper and rushing, bouncing and jogging anywhere.

She had napped loads in the ring already when we came to free walk I couldnt risk letting go of the reins or we've have galloped back to the trailers and I got
"give more rein" as the comment!
 
On mentalist showjumping pony that was trying to do dressage;
"Flying changes not required at this level"
Pharaoh's worst ever test, "Very attractive pony"
And Lenny "Quietly and correctly ridden, well done"
Apparently if you get a "well ridden" they are being sarky.
 
QR My first dressage test on little Welsh nutter. We were told that the class started at 10.30 and that we'd be on "about 11" by someone who went the day before to check times. I was running late anyway and pulled up in the lorry at about 10.25 and went to get my number only to be told "you're on at 10.30 and we won't wait" Ran back to lorry, dressed, got pony off and tacked up, got on, trotted round the side of the indoor school and entered at A.

Judge's comment "Horse looked tense". You don't say! That's nothing to how the rider felt.


Another of the Welshies was fine although a bit confused when we were warming up before going on first at dressage at his first ODE. We started out fine and I think it was the first canter circle where I could feel him suddenly realise that this was where he usually came to do XC. Total and utter loss of concentration from then on. Judge's comment was along the lines of "Lovely pony, once he spotted the jumps his mind was on other things, I bet he enjoys his jumping." Oh he did, from nearly last after the dressage he went clear SJ and XC and ended up placed.
 
Don't think dressage and the pony would mix. Not worth the effort to even try, she would be appaulingly behaved!!

But these are all great, I liked Rosilie's one about gags!
 
Had my first one yesterday, thought id done okay. Got the sheet and all i had was 'Well Tried', and the comment by free walk on a long rein i got, - rein to long :S and got a 4 even though on video horse's nose is touching the floor!!
 
"Oh dear" is the best I have ever seen.

It wasn't written in one box it was written right across the sheet.

My friend was aware she wasn't going to be very successful but it really did go very, very wrong. LOL
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I've had "not ready for lengthening yet" when I was riding a 14 year old well established hanovarian!! The judge actually came up to us afterward to ask about him as she thought "he looked like he had a promising career ahead of him" she then asked how old and scuttled away very quickly when I replied he was 14!!!
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Had numerous "tactfully ridden" sometimes accompanied by "horse very well turned out"

"Spooked at...." and "tripped" usually appears on my sheets these days
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Hmm lets see shall we.

on Santa at Addington I had 'Clean changes although not required at this level, and well sat!' that was when I was meant to be giving and retaking rein over x when cantering across diagonal. Instead when I gave the rein he let out a huge buck followed by a couple of flying changes. I got a 2!
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On Dan back home I got 'Glad horse finally decided to enter arena!' and 'slightly tense but very active movement' when dan spooked at the far hedge approaching the A end of the grass arena when trotting round I then had to eventually be led into the arena by my mum. Did worry he wouldn't go near the A end (and the hedge) again but he did but very bouncily and very tensely, was a very amusing test where I was trying not to laugh all the way through!

Finally on a friend's horse I had 'well recovered' and 'well recovered again' when it tripped on the rough grass in canter and nearly sent me floorwards, got myself back and added a 10m circle and carried on as before for it then to trip again on the other rein in the same place. That was the closest I have been to falling off in a dressage test.

I have written for a lot of judges and it is both very interesting and amusing. 'well ridden' is not always ridden sarcastically so please don't think it is.
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It does amuse me the 101 ways you can write a horse looks lame without actually saying it is lame though as unless it's hopping
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