dating someone who doesnt ride ?

T

thomasc

New User
Joined
10 July 2013
Messages
3
Visit site
would you go out with someone who had never ridden a horse before ?

because I have just started seeing this girl who has never ridden before,

And my parents and lots of other people keep telling me it will never last because she doesn't ride, I cant see why though ??:confused:

I do know girls who ride and their boyfriends don't but never the other way round

I know this is a weird question.
:(
 
Well my other half doesn't ride and has no interest whatsoever and that suits me well. He is supportive from a distance and will occasionally come and feed my boys carrots, but other than that it's my hobby, not his. I actually think it's very healthy for a relationship to have different interests.

Ignore them, if you like each other it will work regardless of whether she rides
 
There's no reason it shouldn't work because of that... I think there are more girls who ride so horsey guys are usually quite popular!! Riding is quite time consuming, so hopefully she had a time consuming hobby of her own. Hope it works out.
 
My nana and grandad were married for 60 years , she was a horse fanatic whilst he had little interest . He would pay the horses a visit and support my nana but certainly wouldn't ever sit on a horse "nasty at both ends" :D ;) 60 years together isn't bad , sadly she passed away a few years ago ....
 
Agree with ghostie.
My boyfriend is about as unhorsey as you can get - he's supportive and all but not really interested and this is fine by me. As ghostie said its quite refreshing to have different hobbies and interests.
As long as she has no issue with you spending time at your yard/with your horses then it shouldn't be an issue :)
 
Just because she doesn't share your passion in riding, doesn't mean you both can't have a relationship? If you loved Golf, you wouldn't force that hobby on her? She might be a football fanatic, lol!
Ignore your friends, it's what you and she wants at the end of the day ;)
 
I have never dated someone who could ride...


..and I have dated a good few people *blush*


ETA - something more constructive!
A lad at my yard dated a girl who'd never ridden before and they were ok :)
 
Regardless whether it is a girlfriend or boyfriend, I don't think it is a problem if you ride and your partner doesn't, as long as they accept that you're interested in horses, are okay with that horses takes up x amount of your time and so on. However, if they don't like horses/animals, doesn't understand the amount of time it takes, aren't supportive etc., then I do think it is likely that it will cause problems.

1sm237cowboy.gif
 
Tell people to mind their own business! Either it will last or it won't, depending on how well the pair of you get on. This is not up to your parents or other people (or your horse), it is up to you and your girlfriend! Good luck!
 
Bit of an odd thing for your parents and co to say! Are you a very committed rider as in hours at the yard every evening and comps all weekend? I can understand how it might be difficult then, just like any other hobby that takes up a lot of your life.

I went out with someone for a short time who could ride, I didn't have a horse at the time, now I have a lovely BF of almost 3 years and he is so encouraging and helps me poo pick and Ragwort and puts up jumps for me... guess where the other guy is kids? That's right.... in jail for fraud! True story!

I don't think it matters having stuff in common, you grow together and someone's personality and deepest values are far more important.
 
I have only dated two guys, both of which have never ridden.
First one loved the horses and learnt to ride on one of my ponies so we could hack together, the other one tolerated them, then decided he hated them because I spent too much time there (whereas my other ex always joined me at the stables, like I joined in with his hobbies). Quite amusingly he broke up with me after I bought another horse as he couldn't cope with 'another effing horse' :D Still friends with both of them though so can't have been too bad !
 
My oh doesnt ride. Horsey time and costs were laid on the table from the start so he wasnt getting involved under any false pretences. I only get a raised eyebrow when an unexpected vet bill pops up but hes then reminded about the cost of his hobbies. It is give and take right enough & we do set time aside for each other.
 
You never know your love of horses and riding may brush off on her and she may get interested and start riding herself. I think you are worrying too much about what other people say. My other half has very little interest in my horses but doesn't expect me to give them up. He has his own hobbies and interests. We have other things we are interested in that we do together and this works fine for us. If you like the girl and enjoy her company ignore other people and have fun together.
 
Tell your mum and dad what will be will be, but you're going to give it a go...it would be silly not to.

Honestly, it can be really good for couples to have separate interests and a little time not stuck to each others sides. Makes for very healthy relationships imo.
 
The main thing you might find about being with some-one non-horsey is they don't realise the reality of the cost/time involved when you have horses and when they find out they run! I'm lucky, my boyfriend is into guitars & car detailing, both of which he can spend hours & £££ on. Admittedly nothing like with horses but it gives him something to do while I go out playing ponies & means he can't criticise me for it as he has his own passion. However he is willing to come to the yard, pat the horse on the nose & wander round with me while I do jobs which is key, if he refused to have anything to do with them there might be issues. Likewise I try to take an interest in his hobby tho I am banned from going near his car, lol. It works for us!
 
My boyfriend has no interest in horse. He will come to the yard occasionally and give my two a scratch and is more than happy to do so and has cone competing with me too just to show his support (he's lovely like that) but its my hobby not his I'd never expect him to come along and see them if he wants to that's lovely and his choice. I think its healthy that way round its my time and my space to do what I love and it works really well.
 
Well, don't worry Thomas. You may not realise it as you're (very) new here but, if your relationship doesn't work out, you've just accidentally stumbled into a forum whose members are mostly female and exclusively horsey. What a bit of luck!
 
There's no reason it won't work due to her not having ridden a horse before.

I no longer have a horse but my ex never had a desire to ride my horse and it never mattered.. In fact it was a bonus for me! I think it's healthy in a relationship to have different hobbies to your partner. Horses was my thing and my ex had his thing and it worked.

Yes we did split but that was naff all to do with my horse :p
 
Speaking from experience, yes it can cause problems! But it depends on what sort of person the non-horsey person is.

My OH has no interest in horses whatsoever, doesn't show much support at all and gets grumpy with me if I spend too much time up the yard. Even though I discussed at length with him about the cost & time involved before I got my horse. He was OK with it at first, but lately he does get stroppy. Especially if I'm later than usual and he's been waiting to have dinner lol!!

For my OH I think it mainly stems from jealousy and feeling left out - before I got Tom, all my time & attention went on him and I was there to entertain him. He does have hobbies, but he is restricted to when he can do them (weather & distance). When he does go, he is gone the whole day, so I can breath a sigh of relief lol.

He also forgets that I can't just take off to Brighton for the day on a whim or go round to his parents at the drop of a hat (they love their suprise-dinner phone calls!)... he gets very upset when I say no because I can't arrange cover at such short notice!

If you start a relationship with someone but you already have a horse, I think it will be easier as they will know what to expect from the off. Getting a horse whilst in a relationship has proven difficult for me, but only because Joe has a lack of understanding and is a jealous person.

For me & my OH it was a big change for both of us, and he is now struggling with it. I'm sure it will get easier with time. Besides, he's not really the monster that I've been describing as he did buy my new saddle for me :) he's just finding it difficult to adjust to not being the only man in my life lol.

Good luck with the new girl, OP. You can only give it your best shot.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top