***Daughter and Dolly....feeling a little sad.....***

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redmone

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OK. Someone slap me. Please.

It's probably just the heat, lack of sleep and, as an outside possibility...this last glass of wine too many.....

I'm just feeling really sad. Just been looking back at photos, of all the many shows we've been to....all the ribbons (and trophies :)) we've brought home, all the days out...the falls...the laughs and tears....and I feel like it's coming to an end.

Sort of the downward journey of a mountain climbed.

I see this photo....and know that the time is coming where we move on.



I don't think it's that daughter looks too big for Dolly. It's more like the challenge has been met. I suppose Dolly's recent lameness was a wake up call too. She's not indestructible. We'd planned pony racing, and mounted games.....when she got a little.....big for her. Not sure that'll happen now. No medical reason....just me....:(

I'm looking more at "next" ponies than I should be. We still have the North West champs and the open champs to do this year. Have we done enough with Dolly? Should we have tried more?

Maybe I should send them out hunting this autumn? I've had a couple of offers of "nannies"? I think Dolly would like that.

In short, I want to roll the clock back. Maybe not all the way back :o but at least a year to when we had it all to look forward to.

Why do they have to grow up (kids and ponies?).....I've had "the talk" with OH today about the "next" pony. And how bad his allergies are, and how his lungs are scarred by all the treatment he has to have to keep going to the comps with daughter. :( I'm totally and utterly torn.

I'm seriously thinking that we loan in future, or maybe find "a ride" for daughter. She loves competiting. Lives for it. That's why we bought the van.

****sigh****

Why is life never easy???

Better days........







argh!!!! when we bought Dolly......SOMEONE get me a timemachine!!!



....not perfect....but all ours......



the first day



this is about where I'd freeze time....



this was good too!


Ahhhhh how do you all cope?? I'm sure you've all been here!

It's soon gonna be time to start laughing at me again, when I post the "OMG this pony is a MONSTER" threads....but until then, spare Dolly a thought.

Thanks all. The wine is long gone, but as always there is HARIBOS!!

:cool:
 
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Not sure what to suggest, but hugs.

It is always hard letting go of the first pony, but this year will be the year your daughter has the best time with Dolly, it always happens just as they outgrow them! Take comfort that you have done a brilliant job with Dolly too and she can move on to make another little girl just as happy as she has made your daughter. :)
 
Thanks.

We're keeping Dolly, I won't sell her! I refuse!!!! She's been my first pony too!

She'll probably either be part loaned out, or got onto part working livery at our riding school.

I know, I know, I'm destined to end up a mad horsey woman with a whole herd of them. I've made peace with that!!!

:-)
 
Have you asked daughter how she feels about dolly? I outgrew my pony ability wise and always felt frustrated riding him as he just did not have the scope for me to go further no matter how hard he tried. On the other hand, a friends parents sold her trusty pony in favour of a more challenging model and this completely shattered her confidence and she has now given up all together. My advice would be to ask her how she feels. Is there any chance of her picking up a ride along side dolly?this would give the best of both worlds as you are obviously very attached to her(I can see why, she is lovely :) )
 
Bexx said:
Have you asked daughter how she feels about dolly? I outgrew my pony ability wise and always felt frustrated riding him as he just did not have the scope for me to go further no matter how hard he tried. On the other hand, a friends parents sold her trusty pony in favour of a more challenging model and this completely shattered her confidence and she has now given up all together. My advice would be to ask her how she feels. Is there any chance of her picking up a ride along side dolly?this would give the best of both worlds as you are obviously very attached to her(I can see why, she is lovely :) )
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Daughter is in complete denial. (rightly so?) It's just me. She sees years and years still bombing about on Dolly. Dolly is neither struggling in scope or speed (apart from recent 1 week lameness which we assume was something pulled) - I'm just struggling with the increasing comments of "how tall" daughter is and "when's the next pony arriving". I'm not one for going with trend, but I can see she's shot up this year.

I'd love her to pick up "a ride" next year - maybe that's what we should be looking for?

I'd stick Dolly in the garden with us forever if I could. She's our pet, and is unlikely to ever leave us. We love her! And it's not like she's old (14) - it's just that daughter is very competitive.

HELP!!!!!

xxxx
 
It's like its coming to the end of an era. Dolly has given your daughter so much, its clear to see. You and your daughter will always have Dolly until the end of her days so you'll never have to worry about her future. Got no advice but hugs anyway. It's clear to see that Dolly is and will always be loved. Treasure the memories and hopefully the next pony you get will be as good as Dolly.
 
I don't think the denial is uncommon when moving on from a first pony to be fair. I think sometimes it just has to be gently pointed out that they can't compete anymore....when their feet start to knock the jumps down ;)

I know both the last kids I saw move on sobbed at the thought at first, but when they realised how much further they could go with a new one they were happier :)
 
don't think too far ahead! let Dolly and daughter set the pace and lead the way, daughter is still young and has plenty of time to move onwards and upwards when she wants to, if she wants to spend another 2 years on Dolly then let her do it ;) my daughter kept her little 11.2 a good year longer than i thought she should but she was happy and at the end of the day that is all that matters. I was still messing about on 13.2 ponies when i was 16/17, there were 14.2s to ride too but sometimes the fun and ponyness of the 13.2 was what i wanted:D
 
redmone said:
Daughter is in complete denial. (rightly so?) It's just me. She sees years and years still bombing about on Dolly. Dolly is neither struggling in scope or speed (apart from recent 1 week lameness which we assume was something pulled) - I'm just struggling with the increasing comments of "how tall" daughter is and "when's the next pony arriving". I'm not one for going with trend, but I can see she's shot up this year.

I'd love her to pick up "a ride" next year - maybe that's what we should be looking for?

I'd stick Dolly in the garden with us forever if I could. She's our pet, and is unlikely to ever leave us. We love her! And it's not like she's old (14) - it's just that daughter is very competitive.

HELP!!!!!

xxxx
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Ignore everyone else, peer pressure is awful, especially where horses are concerned. If daughter is happy with dolly, and isn't too big (which looking at the photo, I'd say she isn't) then keep her and try the new things you wanted to try, mounted games, hunting etc. I'm sure your daughter will let you know when she feels she has outgrown dolly. In the mean time you could put the word out to your PC that she is looking to take on another ride maybe?
 
Sadly, it is the lot of ponies to be outgrown and move on. :( Dolly is such a cracker, she will take on another 'little' girl (don't see her as a boy's pony, somehow) and teach her as well as she has taught Mini RM. It was so difficult to let our first one go, but it was absolutely the right decision. We took the time to find her the right home, and she never looked back. If I can offer some advice? Keeping a pony, particularly one who is designed for smaller,possibly more sensitive, people on the same yard as the previous owner/rider is very difficult. When we got our 12.2, we bought her, and kept her on the same yard. MD could never relax (she was 7) as she felt that she was constantly under scrutiny. ('she never did that with us/we wouldn't have done it like that' and well meaning, but often unwanted, advice. It wasn't until we moved yards that the relationship really took off. It is hard for the old owner, as they desperately want to keep fussing the old pony, feel guilty if they don't, and then feel disloyal to the 'new' one. Remember, they are children. However hard it is, let Dolly go. By all means keep in touch, ask for progress reports, but let the new child form an unfettered bond with her new pony, and let Mini RM focus completely (and guiltlessly) on her new pony without any divided loyalties. xx
 
It is coming to the end of an era and its devastating!!!

Thank you for your kind comments, dolly wasn't the most expensive pony - I'd like to think we'll pay a little more next time and get something lovely for her, but equally I'm quite taken with "ugly ducklings" and think daughter has the dedication to make it work!

Ah I don't know. Daughter is yet to see 5 stone but I think she'll outgrown dolly in ability first.

It pants!!!!!!!!
 
Don't panic! I stuck with my 13.1 until I was 17, and then kept him going alongside the new horse for a couple of years. I was a similar build to your daughter - leggy skinny mini! When I finally admitted I was too big leg length wise, we got a lovely sharer so he stayed on the yard for cuddles and the odd stubble field gallop! I had sharers for him until his last day - he taught 3 others after me, that in itself was nice to see.

I wouldn't change a thing - I loved my pony when my friends all stepped up to horses - ponies always know how to have fun!! Your daughter will decide when she's ready to step up a horse, from what you write, she seems level headed and realistic.

Good luck with whatever you decide :)
 
Stop being sad! Daughter isn't going to be to heavy for dolly for a long time. Id say keep dolly until daughter is really wanting the next one, if she's happy doing what dolly is capable of with dolly then I'd leave her as she is. One day the time will come when daughter wants to do more than dolly can and that's when to start looking at the next step but I'd wait until daughter brings it up.
 
dunkley said:
Sadly, it is the lot of ponies to be outgrown and move on. :( Dolly is such a cracker, she will take on another 'little' girl (don't see her as a boy's pony, somehow) and teach her as well as she has taught Mini RM. It was so difficult to let our first one go, but it was absolutely the right decision. We took the time to find her the right home, and she never looked back. If I can offer some advice? Keeping a pony, particularly one who is designed for smaller,possibly more sensitive, people on the same yard as the previous owner/rider is very difficult. When we got our 12.2, we bought her, and kept her on the same yard. MD could never relax (she was 7) as she felt that she was constantly under scrutiny. ('she never did that with us/we wouldn't have done it like that' and well meaning, but often unwanted, advice. It wasn't until we moved yards that the relationship really took off. It is hard for the old owner, as they desperately want to keep fussing the old pony, feel guilty if they don't, and then feel disloyal to the 'new' one. Remember, they are children. However hard it is, let Dolly go. By all means keep in touch, ask for progress reports, but let the new child form an unfettered bond with her new pony, and let Mini RM focus completely (and guiltlessly) on her new pony without any divided loyalties. xx
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Wise words, I know, but so so hard. I can't see dolly not competiting now, she literally lights up. So I'm thinking of part working livery and then still taking her out with us with daughters new "ride".

Who knows.

This is worse than the original "should i buy a first pony" dilemma!!!!!!!
 
It isn't so much the weight, as the height. If Mini RM wasn't so competitive it really wouldn't be an issue, but as she grows she will be more and more 'top heavy'. So when Dolly puts in one of her spectacular dirty, drop-a-shoulder, stops, there will be nothing in front of daughter to keep her in the plate, and you may find she eats dirt more often than she did in the early days!
 
dafthoss said:
Stop being sad! Daughter isn't going to be to heavy for dolly for a long time. Id say keep dolly until daughter is really wanting the next one, if she's happy doing what dolly is capable of with dolly then I'd leave her as she is. One day the time will come when daughter wants to do more than dolly can and that's when to start looking at the next step but I'd wait until daughter brings it up.
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Do you really think so? Does she still look OK?

Daughter isnt even mentioning it. Its just me, listening to others and looking too closely at the photos....
 
dunkley said:
It isn't so much the weight, as the height. If Mini RM wasn't so competitive it really wouldn't be an issue, but as she grows she will be more and more 'top heavy'. So when Dolly puts in one of her spectacular dirty, drop-a-shoulder, stops, there will be nothing in front of daughter to keep her in the plate, and you may find she eats dirt more often than she did in the early days!
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Yeah......this is what I was thinking.

And it limits her to "bombing about having fun" (which is fine) but dressage and showing looks a bit iffy....

; (
 
Lilyhead said:
Don't panic! I stuck with my 13.1 until I was 17, and then kept him going alongside the new horse for a couple of years. I was a similar build to your daughter - leggy skinny mini! When I finally admitted I was too big leg length wise, we got a lovely sharer so he stayed on the yard for cuddles and the odd stubble field gallop! I had sharers for him until his last day - he taught 3 others after me, that in itself was nice to see.

I wouldn't change a thing - I loved my pony when my friends all stepped up to horses - ponies always know how to have fun!! Your daughter will decide when she's ready to step up a horse, from what you write, she seems level headed and realistic.

Good luck with whatever you decide :)
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Your words give me hope!!!

I don't ever intend to let go of dolly. I'll take her in hand classes myself if I have to!

Ahhh ponies...who'd have em!!! : )
 
My two are adults now, but I look back at each stage when we moved on and things changed, the first day of school, our wonderful old pony whowho was originally my sisters who came back to us at 25 to teach my children, our second pony who we never parted with and my daughter went back onto after uni. So many happy memories which can never be taken from you, treasure them, keep your photos, things will change but new adventures lie ahead.

Sending hugs I know that feeling and wish we could choose which moment in time to stop at!
 
dafthoss said:
Stop being sad! Daughter isn't going to be to heavy for dolly for a long time. Id say keep dolly until daughter is really wanting the next one, if she's happy doing what dolly is capable of with dolly then I'd leave her as she is. One day the time will come when daughter wants to do more than dolly can and that's when to start looking at the next step but I'd wait until daughter brings it up.
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I totally agree and frankly she doesn't even look big. I was expecting to see her legs kicking her knees when I read the first post!

People are regularly telling me how my daughter is going to out grow Titchy soon, I'm not sure why they feel the need to point this out, I'm not actually stupid and yes, I know she grows fast as I fund her wardrobe! I am hoping for a year on Titchy and as my friends daughter still looks ok on him and is tall and a year older than mine, I think we will get it.

Unless she is actually kicking the jumps with her feet I really wouldn't worry, she looks fine on her and there is nothing of her so she will not be too heavy as dafthoss says.

I have a very nice 13.1 we could do a swapsy with for a while in a year or so... ;).
 
What does Daughter want to do vs what you want to do? Yes, you probably have had one too many glasses of wine (as have I) but kids grow out of ponies, that's what happens. If your daughter just wants to have fun, there's no problem if she's not too heavy for the pony, if YOU want to compete, that's probably a different matter.

Sorry, a bit harsh, have had a bad day!
 
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Saying goodbye to a pony because you're no longer compatible ability-wise is heart breaking. And rarely is it the child who'll bring it up. Al has said goodbye to 2 ponies this way and it was so difficult to wave them off knowing what they'd done for her- if they'd been little sods, she'd still be on them. As it was, they won themselves out of a lot and she wanted to do more. She wanted to do it on those ponies, but mum said it wasn't fair. And it wasn't, really.

Seeing those ponies rocking at the 2'3 classes with riders who were like Al when she first met the pony was actually really nice. She was still allowed the occasional sit (and was even allowed to take one hunting again a couple of times) and she moved on to bigger ponies with harder challenges. If you want to succeed, you need to grit your teeth really.

Our most comparable situation was really her on Henry. She started on him like a pea on a drum, and finished 2 years later looking just a bit leggy. In that time he'd gone from fat little cob to being a star of a pony, jumping 1.10m BS successfully and doing 1.10m ODEs (with a 12yo rider). However, he was difficult and would often slam the brakes on XC between fences and refuse to move, or tank off suddenly, or throw a nasty stop. In the end, it was decided he'd move down a few levels and repeat the journey, and Al was found a slightly more mental but also more willing pony... He enjoyed that compromise, and Al benefited. Didn't stop her crying for weeks about it and refusing to see him out competing for a few years.
 
Slightly Foxed said:
What does Daughter want to do vs what you want to do? Yes, you probably have had one too many glasses of wine (as have I) but kids grow out of ponies, that's what happens. If your daughter just wants to have fun, there's no problem if she's not too heavy for the pony, if YOU want to compete, that's probably a different matter.

Sorry, a bit harsh, have had a bad day!
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Hahaha no problem, mines been a bit like that too!!!

Not had so much wine as to blur my common sense, just makes me look more at old photos lol!!

I suppose its more "people's" comments that's getting to me.

Daughter wants to be out competing. Farm rides, xc, pony racing, beach rides etc...

I don't care if she never goes to another comp again. Honestly. I don't enjoy them, and they make my husband very very ill.

I'm happy to hear she looks OK. Perhaps its just the fashion for kids to upgrade sooner rather than later. I know kids who have had 3 ponies in the time we've had dolly.

I want them to stay together forever and I'm happy to adjust the activities as and when time dictates it.

Its still poo though!!!!
 
Adopter said:
My two are adults now, but I look back at each stage when we moved on and things changed, the first day of school, our wonderful old pony whowho was originally my sisters who came back to us at 25 to teach my children, our second pony who we never parted with and my daughter went back onto after uni. So many happy memories which can never be taken from you, treasure them, keep your photos, things will change but new adventures lie ahead.

Sending hugs I know that feeling and wish we could choose which moment in time to stop at!
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I get the feeling you completely understand. Its nice to hear!!

Thank you xxx
 
FfionWinnie said:
I totally agree and frankly she doesn't even look big. I was expecting to see her legs kicking her knees when I read the first post!

People are regularly telling me how my daughter is going to out grow Titchy soon, I'm not sure why they feel the need to point this out, I'm not actually stupid and yes, I know she grows fast as I fund her wardrobe! I am hoping for a year on Titchy and as my friends daughter still looks ok on him and is tall and a year older than mine, I think we will get it.

Unless she is actually kicking the jumps with her feet I really wouldn't worry, she looks fine on her and there is nothing of her so she will not be too heavy as dafthoss says.

I have a very nice 13.1 we could do a swapsy with for a while in a year or so... ;).
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I'm liking the swopsie idea!!!

Daughter is no where near the knocking jumps point, its more the peer pressure,...on both of us!!! Wish people would shush sometimes!!!

Ahhhh this is what we get 'for loving the little ponies too much!!! :)
 
Daughters grow, unfortunately! ;) Mine at 12 is now as tall & a similar weight to me! She knows that she won't be able to ride Orla (Dolly's double!!) if she grows too much taller or weighs more than about a stone heavier. :( On a good note, at 41 I am unlikely to grow any more so we will end up 'swapping' horses & she will ride my cob & I will get my Orla back!! :)
I feel for you though as I know how much daughters & first ponies bond!
 
redmone said:
I'm liking the swopsie idea!!!

Daughter is no where near the knocking jumps point, its more the peer pressure,...on both of us!!! Wish people would shush sometimes!!!

Ahhhh this is what we get 'for loving the little ponies too much!!! :)
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;)

51e4cf5023ee43b99907559a8f047499_zps4df800ac.jpg
 
I don't think dhe needs to move on yet. The showing will get harder as she gets taller but shell be fine showjumping hunting ect for a good while yet. I don't think she's reached dollys jumping limit yet.

But when she does its heartbreaking but you make brand new memories. When hokey went we cried alot he was a pony in a life time and many a times I regretted it. But now we have the amazing Star and for her own reasons she is again a pony of a lifetime but she wouldn't have been if it hasn't been for Hokey. Xx
 
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