Daughter hacking alone - paranoid mother post

MrsMozartletoe

MrsMozartletoe

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Daughter is fourteen. A reasonably competant rider. She's never hacked out on her own, and I'm wondering when I should let her go.... being a paranoid mother and all that.

Little Cob is reasonably good on the road, though can put the odd spook in. He won't tank off, but will bounce on his toes, and do a few backwards/swing bum out steps. He leg yields ok. He hacks out in a Pelham with two reins (when we remember to change bits!), so's she has brakes when she needs them as he does respec it, so far any way.

Daughter's road sense isn't bad, she can get herself about the town etc., but being on a horse is different.

I'm trying not to be a controlling Mummy, after all, when I was ten we'd hack a mile bareback and leading up to four ponies all in headcollars back to their fields when at riding schools
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. The lane outside the yard is narrow, straight and reasonably busy given that it's mean to be a quiet backwater.

Any thoughts/experiences of this 'letting go'?
 
I do sympathise, I had riding on the road, we have little narrow country lanes to negotiate and I think they're possibly more dangerous that straight main roads 'cos at least drivers can see you're there. I'm assuming she'll be dressed up like a belisha beacon and equipped with mobile phone? Has she done her riding and road safety test? That might be an idea. I still worry about my daughter hacking out on her own and she's 25!
 
COuld you maybe follow descreetly on foot/cycling so she doesnt know you there. Yet you can intervene(sp) if you need to. Daughter will need to be dressed in a LOT of high visibility clothing for safety.

Good luck.
Nick
 
Well I'm kept off the roads by my husband, I'm only to go on the fields around our yard. And personally I like to keep just on the fields these days ( too many cars about on the lanes!)but I still put on as much hi viz as I can get and go equipped with mobile phone, walkie talkie, first aid kit ( human & equine ),lead rope, hoof pick and anything else that could be needed in an emergency! So I don't think you're being to paranoid.
 
I think at 14 she is probably ok. Can you do a 'test' of road safety? One of the things I have noticed is our younger riders at RC, those who are too young to drive, tend to be a bit less car aware. How about if she leads you on a ride, with it as a road safety test, if you think she coped then go ahead, with a pre-planned route and you can check up if needs be?
 
Why not have her do the BHS road safety course and test? Just knowing she's had the formal instruction could help you feel better.

Is it only road hacking near you, or decent off-road hacking too? How does she feel about your worries---does she understand them?

shoo, out of curiosity, how do you carry all that stuff? I'm looking to get some saddlebags; what kind do you like?
 
I was 13 when I got my first 'proper' pony and I hacked everywhere on my own. Nothing like a wee adventure. I always had to tell my parents exactly where I was going, roughly how long it would take and always took my mobile phone. I also did my Riding Road Safety and off I went with my wee sandwich in a saddlebag!

X
 
Good idea re the Road Safety test
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She got junior gold membership of the BHS for Christmas, so I'll ask her to look it up.

She knows how I feel
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She's academically very bright, but sometimes I wonder where she was when the common sense was being handed out
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All the hacking is from the roads. Drivers are used to horses round there and so far have all been very considerate (touch wood!). I'll give her a go as lead as in control of the ride and see how she does
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I started allowing my daughter to hack out on her own when she was 14, and she had passed the BHS road safety test. She always took her phone with her and I had some idea of the route she was taking. If she is fairly sensible its perhaps time to bite the bullet and let her go on her own, or possibly wait until the spring when the light is better, we don't seem to have had daylight round here for about a week
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Yes, fourteen seems to be 'the age' these days. Spring could be a good time, she'll be that bit older and the days should be better.

You should have seen hubby and I the first time she went to a shop on her own
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It's only a few hundred yards away and we were hiding behind the garden wall, then standing on it when she'd gone past a certain point. I was looking at my watch and making a mental note of what she was wearing. Who? Me? Paranoid? Um, yes
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I started hacking out when I was 15 or so; no hi-viz, no mobile, no common sense, only roads, completely bonkers pony with no brakes...glad my parents weren't horsey and had no clue how dangerous it was!

You can never be 100% safe out there, but as long as you think she can sit on a spooking pony and keep her head, at some point, you have to let her go!

Does she have friends that could hack out with her at first?
 
My son first hacked out on his own at about that age. The first couple of times I went with him on a bike just in case pony messed about when he was on his own. I do have strict rules about hi viz & letting me know where he is going & very strictly not going the route with the hunt jump! Also he must phone me as soon as he gets back - except he tends to forget that bit so I phone him in a panic.
 
I was 14 when I 1st hacked on my own. But that was 11 years ago now!
BHS riding and road safety test is a great idea, I really enjoyed doing mine and now you have bought her the BHS membership there is no reason not to!
What you said about her taking the lead on a hack with others is a good idea too - it will get her used to making the decisions as opposed to following what someone else is doing.
Hope all goes smoothly for you and her of course!
 
Copuld you just follow her on the road a couple of times and let her hack around the bridleways on her own? Does she hack out with other people? I let my daughter hack out on her own at about 14 but there were few roads to go on.
 
I know how you feel...i was nervous the first time my daughter hacked on her own, (she was 14) and she dont even have to go on a road, as we live in a national park..but i always make her take her phone, just in case, and i make sure i know where she is going..
 
Ha ha, yes done very similar with my daughter going out on her own. We have woods nearby and I would just 'appear' out with the dogs just as she and her friends would be about half way. We are lucky in that she had others to ride with at first, I think she was about 12-13 when we let them go out together, but with us not far behind or meeting them at the half way point. Have even been known to drive to the road junctions and lurk.

Now she is similar age and goes out on her own, but usually only fairly local, but has gone on longer rides with a friend or two.

Mine was also lurking near the back of the common sense queue. Wish we lived nearer - bet they would get on rather well
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ps she's just read this - boy am I in trouble...
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I went off riding for hours by myself when I was 12 on an (at the time) bolshy bargy, extremely strong charlie cob (coloured)! I couldnt see why mum was having heart failure for at the time but now I can.............im getting old !
 
My daughter is 14yrs & has been hacking out alone for over 2 years. Because we had problems loading the darling when we first got him & he was very young we hacked out together everywhere so I really got to know his faults & limitations. I insist on High Viz & mobile phone. She has done the PC Road Safety. She knows his limitations i.e I advise her to stand in a gateway & wide verge if anything large & scary drives past. He has improved greatly over time & experience, they both have & she is very aware of looking ahead. She has gained so much confidence & this gives him confidence. I don't worry at all but this is due to me knowing him really well. I would be less happy about her hacking out alone on a horse or pony which I didn't know.
 
Me too Spookypony, parents aren't horsey at all - got me a riding school pony on half loan when I was 14 and I used to hack him on my own all the time, no mobile or anything! He was totally sane though, used to joke he was just a big orange babysitter. The roads were very quiet though and it was 10 years ago
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. I used to come back from the yard telling my mum about the ride that "we" had done - she thought I had loads of horsey friends until she worked out "we" was me and catkin! Maybe she was panicking inside, tables have turned now - I even worry about my parents driving down the M1!

MM - I think unfortunately things are a bit scarier now but it sounds like you are planning this well, riding and road safety, high viz and a mobile phone sounds very much like the right way to go.
 
^^^^^
like rocking horse with the 14 year old. (I ride the pony too)

The 13 year old, the pony is a saint anyway and both are very sensible.

Both daughters have done PC riding and road safety, I insist on hi viz and a mobile phone, plus I want to know the route they are going so that if they are overdue, I know where to go to look for them.
 
I'm 15, and went for my first hack on my own last week on my mums horse, I think as long as she is a competent rider, and has good sense on the road then she should be OK, how about you let her take you for a hack (let her lead) and see if she knows what she is doing
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P.S. I've only been hacking 5 months, because we werent "allowed" by YO at our last yard, now i dont know what me and bob would do without it! we really enjoy it!
 
my daughter is also 14 and keen to go it alone and although she is very sensible others arent.we live in a rural area with single track lanes and some people drive like mad men.we also have lots of shoots and her pony can throw in the odd spook and spin.she has done her riding and road safety and our search for new pony is one that has to be good on the roads.i know you cant prepare for all eventualities but i do think riding out is much more hairy nowadays.
 
I now feel like the worst mother alive!!
My youngest of three went out alone age SEVEN!!!
on her 11.2 sec A
but we do live on the toll rides so she was only on the road for 5 mins. she used to go without a phone! but fortunatly never came off. I do remember my mum telling me off in case she got abducted off her pony.
She is 17 now and goes off in the car alone now-bad mother!
 
my daughter is also 14 1/2 and has been hacking out on her own for about 1 year she's been more sensible than i thought she would be (touch wood!) as she doesn't appear to normally have any common sense though! she only goes on some routes and never over the main road, caught her chatting on her phone on the way down the road once though, think she got the message about that! She does seem to enjoy it. She is on a fairly young pony that we broke about 2 years ago, not a nutter though and fine on his own.
 
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