Daughter losing interest/moaning about cold-am I pushing too hard?

[MissFliss]

My daughter (6yo) has been riding weekly for the past 1.5yrs at a riding school and a few weeks ago took the plunge to buy her a pony. We’ve bought a been there done that FYFR type, but obv still a little bit less steady than the ancient riding school pony she’s been learning on. She was enthusiastic prior to us getting her the pony but since we’ve got her there’s only been a handful of times when I could hand on heart say she’s really enjoyed riding her. The rest of the time shes moaned about being too cold/tired after around 10-15mins, or the pony has jigged a little or looked at a noise. She’s still just about in the lead rein/lunge so still very safe and not doing too much too soon.
It feels like I’m being a pushy mum getting her to ride, but equally she’s only rides at the weekend and once during the week due to my work shifts so not sure I’m asking too much. I don’t know if I should lower my expectations and perhaps drop the ride after school so she’s not as tired or just push through until it gets warmer in spring. I’m gutted as I thought she loved it, I want her to love riding/owning a horse like I do and am just finding the balance hard between not pushing too hard but equall feeling like she needs to realise she has some responsibility now. What do other people with little kids do? Do I have unrealistic expectations?

 

[Mule]

If she isn't interested there's no point pushing her to do it. It's supposed to be a hobby rather than a chore.

 

[Pc2003]

My daughter is 6 and I can’t imagine she would be interested in riding after school or weekends etc. Keep it as your hobby! When it becomes their hobby you will end up losing out!!!

 

[ester]

Is she cold?

She's 6 I don't feel like she needs too much responsibility as it's not really an age where they would totally know what they were letting themselves in for even if keen with the idea of having a pony.

Is she always riding on her own or with other kids/pony club etc?

 

[Pearlsasinger]

She will be tired after school, so I would definitely knock that on the head for now. She probably is cold in this weather and she won't be able to do enough on the lead rein to keep warm. I would ease off until the better weather tbh. You can't really expect her to be responsible for the pony - and it was your choice to buy it.

 

[bonny]

If you aren’t very careful buying her pony is going to have the opposite effect to the one you wanted. I would stop all riding unless she wants to go and then make it fun, go hacking rather than ride in a school for example.

 

[splashgirl45]

is she riding on her own just with you leading? your daughter will have confidence in the rs ponies and instructors so it could be a loss of confidence added to not being with others who are all in the same boat. i think children are better in a group so they can have a bit of fun while learning...also being cold is not fun so maybe leave riding her own pony till the better weather and see if she wants to go to the rs again, that way you will have an idea what the problem is...

 

[MissFliss]

Thanks for the replies so far. I’m not expecting her to be responsible for any of the stable duties, I do all of that when I do mine, on a weekend she and my toddler come up and ‘help’ with my other half, but that’s mostly just messing around whilst we do them. I think I’ll knock the weekday riding on the head til it gets warmer, yes think she gets cold but she has tights under jods, thick ski socks, vest, long sleeved top, jumper, fleece and coat...can’t put any more layers on without her not being able to move! However any recs for warm gloves would be gratefully received!

 

[be positive]

10-15 mins is plenty long enough for a 6 year old at this time of year, much longer and they will be bored, tired and or cold, keep the riding short, make it interesting without pushing to far and stop before she starts to moan or just do some simple exercises to add variety, at her age she will have a lot going on so be patient it should be far better once the weather improves and her riding progresses to the stage where she can be more independent.

 

[MissFliss]

To reply to the above, she’s always had private lessons so used to that. She done a mix of hacking (me leading off my horse) and in the school, but after school it’s been in the arena as I’ve got my toddler with me so can’t take her out and look after him as well. I try to keep things interesting, we get cones or piles out to steer around and do a burn on the lunge as well. But any tips for keeping it interesting would be great!

 

[MissFliss]

That should read poles and a bit in the lunge!

 

[bonny]

I would involve other children if you have to stay in the school, she’s too young to benefit from private lessons in my opinion, I would just stop riding for now, take off any pressure, maybe visit the pony with her and leave it at that ?

 

[ester]

Do you have the ability to get her riding with other kids? That definitely always helps IME.

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

Def drop the weekday.
If weather iffy at weekend, do some fun leading things if pony is safe for daughter to lead or grooming. Otherwise, leave the riding to a 10 to 15min once a week till weather better x

 

[nikicb]

Wait till it's warmer, then join her up to the local pony club so she can spend time riding/doing stuff with other children. If she's still not keen by the end of the summer, you probably have your answer.

 

[be positive]

To reply to the above, she’s always had private lessons so used to that. She done a mix of hacking (me leading off my horse) and in the school, but after school it’s been in the arena as I’ve got my toddler with me so can’t take her out and look after him as well. I try to keep things interesting, we get cones or piles out to steer around and do a burn on the lunge as well. But any tips for keeping it interesting would be great!

I tend to lunge little ones, with no reins so they can do exercises with their arms, to keep them thinking counting, reciting the alphabet or simple nursery rhymes can be useful and when trotting can help with rhythm, trotting for 10 strides, walking for 10 etc, as they progress they should be able to trot with arms doing various exercises and start to do some without stirrups.
I have a young girl here at livery who got too cold riding and had a break but she is now back on and doing plenty of trotting on the lunge to get warm with very little walking involved unless it is warm.

 

[MissFliss]

Leading out is a good idea thank you. There’s a couple of older kids at the yard we’ve hacked out with but it’s a tiny yard and no other youngsters to go in the school with. It sounds like I’m def being too pushy at the momen so thanks for the reality check . Would people suggest inlunge the pony during th week or just lent her get a bit unfit and slow? I don’t know her well enough yet to know whether the time off will make her a little lively and dont want it to put my daughter off if she’s a bit more fizzy. Equally don’t want to create a fit lively pony for her to ride!

It’s so much harder making decisions when it’s your little girl, I don’t have this kind of indecision over my own horse!

 

[bonny]

I wouldn’t lunge the pony, I assume she’s turned out during the day at least so no harm will come from a break for pony and child

 

[SusieT]

why not join local pony club? this will make it much more fun! but if cold/wet I wouldn't force it!

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I would be very surprised if time off would make a child's first pony fizzy, unless it is totally unsuitable for the job. I would let her get as slow and steady as possible at this stage.

 

[paddi22]

in your heart of hearts, did she really beg for pony? or was it more your idea.

I remember being that age and the main part of the fun was making friends and feeling safe on my riding school pony every week. I genuinely don't think i would have enjoyed or stuck at it that much if it was me and a parent most of the time. I learnt so much doing the kiddie pony camps and stuff, and enjoyed being independent from my parents. A lot of the excitement was working up to the idea of GETTING my own pony some day. You see a lot of kids get ponies too easily i think, and a lot of them can get very blaise about them

From my own experience as a kid, (and now seeing friends kids), I think unless the kid is absolutely BEGGING for a pony, and has reached the limit of what the school ponies can do for their level, then it is a waste getting them their own. If a kid is also a nervy rider, then the best thing is for them to ride a variety of different horses. It's much easy if they are in a riding school and you can say 'ok you had a tumble off star last week, but you are on snowy this week and he is lovely'. Whereas the 'one on one' relationship with a kid and a pony can be very intense and higher pressured.

And some kids just 'like' ponies but aren't 'horse-kids' if that makes sense? We get kids that help out here and they fall into two camps - the grooming/patting nervous types and then the proper horsekids who bounce up regardless of weather and are happy to just even muck out, just to BE around horses. The first kind just don't stick - they get distracted, whinge and love the idea of a pony, not the reality. Some of the ones who ride mine came as very nervy riders, but they still would jump at the chance to poo pick in a field in the rain!

It's supposed to be a hobby for the child, so why not let her set the pace with what she wants?

 

[joosie]

What she said ^^^.
The best way to put a child off any hobby is to force them to do it when they don't want to!

 

[Fiona]

My 7yo has had a pony since he was 2, and while the first three years we just hacked up the lane or did 15 min in the school, he's been doing a lot more the past couple of years...

He's a bit of a typical boy in that he isn't so keen on grooming etc, but we do one PC rally a week with sometimes another lesson, and a competition and a hack or a schooling session plus a hack at the weekend weather permitting.

Hubby and also take his pony out hacking (leading from one of ours) or have a lunge session (though she is quite a whizzy 2nd pony rather than a steadier 1st pony).

Definitely join your local PC now and book her in, even when F was only about 4 and not that keen on riding at home on his own, he was still mad to get to rallies and see his chums...

If you want something to aim for with her, look up Demi Dressage on fb. V low key online dressage competitions at different levels from LR to standard prelim...

Good luck

Fiona

 

[Fiona]

What does she like to do when riding? Hack, flatwork, exercises on her pony, jumping?

Try to make it as fun as possible for her, it's very early to have the novelty of a new pony wearing off already 😣😣

Fiona

 

[GTRJazz]

At 6 horses were just a nice thing to ride for me never had to think about looking after them just jumped on and off and walked away a bit like a taxi. Now age 57 I have three and they are more important than anything well except the Mrs maybe

 

[chaps89]

When I used to teach the littlies I tried to make it as fun as possible.
So I'd play games like Simon says (put your hands on your head/arms out like an aeroplane/touch your knees/toes/ponys ears/ponys bottom) which was great to get them actually listening and working on their balance without them really knowing it! Or Grandmas footsteps, so they practiced starting and stopping, again without it seeming like a chore.
I'd set up obstacle courses too, so they had to practice steering without thinking it was actually about steering.
At that age I found alot of them didn't have a huge attention span and actually just lacked the strength to really ride properly given they had a half an hour lesson a week so it had to be as fun as possible to keep them encouraged.
I also echo getting involved in pony club or teaming up with other parents and children at the yard if you can.

 

[blitznbobs]

We have ponies at home but the kids don’t ride them very often they do like going to the riding school for lessons much more... because the ponies are so much quieter they actually can do more plus they are with friends... I’m not sure any but the keenest of children like to ride on their own at home. Perhaps book to go to a show and make the home rides about practicing for that - a goal can be a good motivator even for kids.

 

[Red-1]

I was teaching a young child on their first pony, she had been dead keen at riding school and the mother did not know why she was not now keen as the pony was on a quiet yard so she could ride as much as she wanted.

The pony was a bit too much for her, so she was cantering and even jumping at the riding school yet was on the lead or lunge at home. At the riding school they had adventures, at home it was scary and no pals.

I suggested she went back to her riding school lessons and even that the pony was delivered to the riding school for them to use, watching other kids having fun on 'her' pony would have brought her on very much I think, plus the corners would have been rubbed off the pony, plus it would all have been fun with no pressure on her t actually ride the pony at all. The pony was too much for her, but at that particular riding school they have some good riders and back and bring on ponies for sale. so it would all have fitted in.

Sadly, the pony was a loan pony and the owners would not think sending the pony to a riding school was a good idea. I then suggested she send the pony back and buy a less scary one. This they did, and the child went from nervous on the lead rein to ready to trot round the local clear round in one session. She joined pony club, held at the riding school, and had loads of fun.

When I was young in a large livery yard, I saw many young kids put off their ponies. Even the owner's daughter gave up at one point, from about 9 to 11yrs. Her mother was great, allowed experimentation with make up and being a different type of kid, but we were all down there every day and after a couple of years she re-joined us and became a keen competitor with multiple ponies and then horses. At the time I felt for the mother, ponies lined up, arenas for her use etc, but she was a wise lady, allowing the daughter to choose.

 

[VRIN]

Pony club is the way forward - she will have lots of fun, meet other children and become more confident.

 

[tda]

I would 100 % get fully involved in the pony club
Otherwise, too much too soon I think