Day 2 of new yard and already feel miserable... :(

cc14

cc14

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Sorry if this rambles!

Basically I moved my horse down to uni with me 2 days ago. I had been to see the yard before, everyone was friendly, well kept etc, just what I was looking for.

We gave him Saturday and yesterday off to chill in the field and take in the new surroundings etc.

I brought him in today and as soon as he saw his bandages he knew it was time to ride. After two days off so feeling a bit fresh he was obviously excited by this! I bandaged him in his stable as normal then brought him out to tack him up, purposely putting him away from where some little children were with their ponies because he is rather big and intimidating to little'uns! Again, understandably, he was slightly exciteable and wanting to look at everything, so was hopping around a little bit. I am more than capable of giving him a telling off and dealing with this, but one woman took it upon herself to walk over and hold him. WHile I know she was trying to help, I felt so embarrassed that she obviously thought I couldnt control him, especially when she looked at me with a paniced face and asked if I was going to ride him. I explained that I would lunge to take the edge off him then give him a little schooling session.

Next I realised the mounting block is static, which may be an issue as he isn't the best mounter. 3 attempts and I knew this wasnt going to happen, so I asked the YO to help me sort it out and sure enough after 10 mins he was fine. However, again I was mortified by the small collection of people stood watching and clearly thinking I was an idiot.

Then I get on, and within about two minutes I have three people telling me he has a serious problem, and will only ever be good for some hacking for the rest of his life. I am fully aware he has a conformational issue, but I am also fully aware of how bad it is and what he can and cannot do. Instead, I had to watch him walk next to another horse so they could highlight just how broken he was. By this point I felt so disheartened I just didn't want to get back on because of what comments they might make.

Basically I have just been left feeling so miserable by it all. I genuinely know everyone was only being honest and trying to help and I appreciate it, but just feel that now everyone has summed me up as a rubbish owner with a broken, unmanageable horse, when he is usually as good as gold and is an absolute dream to ride. It has really put me off going to ride him because I just feel like everyone is judging me and will think I am overworking him etc etc.

Gahh :( Rant/moan over...amazed if you made it this far!
 
And breathe. It is very early days and horrible when you gain an audience just when you need peace and quiet for you and your horse. This will pass, it's just people being nosey at the new kids on the block I think.
 
At the end of the day he is your horse and you shouldn't ever have to prove yourself to anyone - I tend to panic when I'm being watched but then it's just a matter of learning to ignore :D sometimes I do get good advice!
 
Big hugs.. You know what's right for your boy & if you don't care about his way of going then neither should they. Hold your head high and carry on (((((hug)))))
 
I think this is really sad and no way should you be made to feel like this.. Did you at any point highlight to the other yard members that you were well aware of his flaws... I think sometimes you have to stand up to people who are just looking to give uncecessary critisism... If i were you id take no notice and carry on exactly as you did at your old yard as im presuming you were happy there and is just for university reasons you have moved him..

it can be really disheartening when people say negative things about you or your horse, but try and remember all the great reasons why you have this horse. Like you have said he is usually a saint and behaves very well.. i would just put it down to new yard, new space etc it may take some time for him to resettle back into work life..

I hope you start to feel more possitive about your new yard and people become a bit nicer. :) chin up and cookies sent to you.. chocolate heals EVERYTHING.. LOL XX
 
Can you go and ride really early in the morning before lectures for a few days/weeks, until he is settled and you are happier in yourself? There will probably be a lot less people around and any that are there will be busy!
 
Dont worry - same thing happened to me.

Within two weeks of a new yard with a new horse I was told to get rid of him as he was dangerous and so lame he would never be any good - this is the same horse my completely non-horsey boyfriend now brings in for me and the best vet I could find has said there isnt much wrong with at all.

Interestingly my YO doesnt ride any of hers which are confined to stables lame or not........

he will settle - dont let other people get you down about enjoying your own horse and only investigate his problems if you think there is something wrong - I would have paid a fortune to chiropractors and got knows what if I had listened to other people and not got straight on with it.

People always like to think they know best, dont let them get you donw and if it doesnt improve move - I am - if Im not enjoying it on the yard he picks up on it and that affects his welfare more than a yard move would.
 
The best thing you can do is just crack on and enjoy your horse for what ever he is and do what you usually do, some people have this thing where they just have to have a good old nose and comment on 'the new livery' as it gives them some fat to chew on when there stood not getting on with their own nags.

A horse doesn't have to look like something that's just walked off a top eventing yard, providing it's happy, healthy and does the job you want it to do, then that's all that matters...who gives a monkeys :)

Don't get upset about what people say, go down the yard and ride your horse...simples;)
 
Thankyou so much everyone :)

I had him at home before, so being at a livery is all very new and daunting!

I have purposely moved him about 3 weeks before I start uni so we can get settled in etc. Was literally just thinking to myself that I am going to get up there super duper early tomorrow!

I just hate the thought of them all getting together and discussing the new girl who is completely overhorsed with an out of control broken maniac, when he is so NOT like that! And now I feel like I shouldnt take him out to any sort of competition because they will tell me he is not up to it, when I know my horse and what he can and cant do... :(

Thanks for all the choccie, much needed :D
 
Its normal for people to look and watch when a new arrival is first ridden its normal curiosity. If people try to help or tell you about him be polite but tell them you know him, his "problems" and you are quite capable of dealing with him.
Sometimes people will use that sort of thing to start a conversation and it can seem a bit personal, but remember he is your horse and don't be pushed into thinking they can tell you what is ans is not wrong with him. If you just change the subject and tell them its not for discussion they will soon move on and realise you are not going to be drawn into it.

Once the first week is over you will be feeling more secure in the yard and things will not seem as personal.
 
Alex1983 said:
Dont worry - same thing happened to me.

Within two weeks of a new yard with a new horse I was told to get rid of him as he was dangerous and so lame he would never be any good - this is the same horse my completely non-horsey boyfriend now brings in for me and the best vet I could find has said there isnt much wrong with at all.

Interestingly my YO doesnt ride any of hers which are confined to stables lame or not........

he will settle - dont let other people get you down about enjoying your own horse and only investigate his problems if you think there is something wrong - I would have paid a fortune to chiropractors and got knows what if I had listened to other people and not got straight on with it.

People always like to think they know best, dont let them get you donw and if it doesnt improve move - I am - if Im not enjoying it on the yard he picks up on it and that affects his welfare more than a yard move would.
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Without doubt. Some people need to mind their own buziness!!!:mad:
 
Next time, just say "Please give me some space, I've owned him for ages and he doesn't worry me. I'm sure you can appreciate that a group of people standing round and commenting only makes us both stressed and that doesn't get us anywhere!" Otherwise offer them a ride so that they can show you what to do. Most know-it-alls are scared to death - thats why they stand together and cluck!

I agree with the go early to get him settled comments.
 
tbh i moved from one livery yard to another in a week. it wasnt as bitchy as yours but i never felt settled

however i dont do bitchy/interfearing yards - give it a couple of weeks and if you dont improve it - move!

:)
 
Firstly very sorry you feel like this and I'm sure (well I'd hope) everyone's comments were only out of concern and interest.

Secondly can you explain to them about his condition and that the exercise you give him is suitable as per your vets/trainers (I'm assuming you have had all the usual things done so you know what his level of work is?) instructions. Maybe take time to tell a couple of them what his issues are and why you do what you do with him? I'm sure once they know they'll try to help you further and tell other liveries what his situation is.

We have a trotter on our yard, when he first came the 'experts' were horrified that his owner hacked him out everyday...he was crippled according to them!! It was only once she told them about a trotters gait and that his strange movement was perfectly normal that they stopped commenting. ;)
 
What is it with people on livery yards ??? he's your horse so dont be told by other people what you should and shouldnt do with him, they make so mad. Just crack on and do your own thing and ignore the self opinionated do gooders. Best of luck.
 
Honey08 said:
Next time, just say "Please give me some space, I've owned him for ages and he doesn't worry me. I'm sure you can appreciate that a group of people standing round and commenting only makes us both stressed and that doesn't get us anywhere!"
I agree with the go early to get him settled comments.
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All of this and be very very firm! I had almost exactly this with the YO telling me I was not allowed to ask the groom to hold my loony for me at the block. He was a demon! It took her longer to explain why he woudl not help me than it did for me to be on and away.

Some people are always looking to put you down: rise above, ignore and remember that you know your boy, they most definitely do not!
 
Horsey people can be so darned rude sometimes it beggars belief!! What gives them the right to slate your horse?! They wouldn't get away with insulting a member of your family so why should they your horse?

I'm sorry you have had such a crap start at your new yard but it could be much worse... the 'induction' some get at mine have bought several new liveries (including myself) to tears... with anything from 'you can't tie your horse up there!' to arguments over which field the horse should go in (yes, I realise this SHOULD be the job of the y/o)

I honestly would ride above it. Your boy will calm down once he realises he's home and the liveries will soon get bored and stop being so nosey.

Good Luck!
 
Ahh yes, the audience at the mounting block. I had the same but had already cunningly transported up a folding chair so I took back the spinning nag and got on quietly, away from the audience, from the chair.

What's this massive conformational issue? Someone started pulling my horse to pieces as she has cowhocks, this escalated on our quite large yard to chinese whispers that I was riding a lame horse. She has had lame days, but for two abcesses over the course of 3 years. She CAN school and she CAN jump, it's just how she's built.

I'm sure it's just nosiness and a bit of one-upmanship. It'll die down once you're not the new face anymore.
 
Ah I am overwhelmed ha thankyou again everyone :)

His conformation issue really is nothing major at all, it will never be painful, make him lame etc etc, its just one of those things that means he will never make it HOYS...given I bought him to help get my confidence back I dont exactly think this will be an issue! I was far too upset to try and explain it myself so I put the YO on the phone to my step-dad (very horsey/knowledgeable) and he explained that we knew about it and knew the implications of it etc, but all they came back with is "well he's a dealer so doesnt really care as long as the horses sell". Yes, he may deal in horses so to speak, but he knows his stuff and is not some random who has decided selling horses may bring in some money...besides my horse is not one in his supposed production line of horses!

Gah sorry another little rant over! But again thankyou thankyou thankyou for all your kind words :)
 
you're the new girl and something to talk about other than the norm. The novelty will wear off i assure you!
One of my best horsey friends brought her new horse to our yard and was the brunt of endless speculation about what a nut job he was etc. He's very sensitive and a dab hand at working beautifully when no one is there and standing saluting the queen as soon as he has an audience. The same people who discussed her at the beginning are the same ones who are genuinely pleased when she keeps coming home with rossettes.
You know your horse - they don't and they don't know you. They soon will and this will just be a bump in your rear view mirror.
 
Awww, poor you!!

If you are anything like me ... going to Uni will have thrown you anyway, and you might find everything quite emotional (until you settle in).
I understand what you mean about the audience, it's the same at my yard ... and I agree with others, try and go up relatively early, and just finish as they are getting there. They will see him calm and chilled and hopefully you wont get any more comments. Then once he's happier and settled go back to riding whenever you want.

Try to ignore the comments. All horses have flaws (just like people) try to carry on regardless, and if they come over and help, thank them politely, but tell them that you are fine.

My boy always puts on a show when the yard busibodies give him an audience, they think I am mad to keep him ... but I think he's ace, so really don't care!

Goodluck with the yard ... and uni. I'm sure things will settle. xx
 
Unfortunately I am here by myself at the moment, but step-dad is coming to the rescue tomorrow to check him over and reassure me and everyone else that he hasnt got any worse and is perfectly capable of doing everything I plan on/currently do with him. Hopefully he will keep them quiet for at least a few days :)

Near Portsmouth Daisydo :)
 
OMG, the comment about him being a dealer so what does he care would have finished me! What you have to remember is that you KNOW what the confirmation issue means, they don't, therefore you are better than them! You KNOW that your horse was excited because it was all new, they didn't realise that this is normal so again, you are better than them! They sound like a bunch of 'know it all, know nothings', just ignore the comments, laugh them off and get on with your stuff. It will all settle down when they realise what a bunch of idiots they are!
 
Urg! I hate it when things like that happen! I once watched my favourite horse be jumped by someone else (The boy who broke him in) and I heard people saying he shouldn't be jumping, he was ugly and would be better off shot! I don't understand people like that. Especially since they had come to MY yard to jump.

It's good that they wanted to help, but sometimes help can be worse than leaving you to it. Sorry I can't help! But I hope things get better :)
 
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